7 reasons why Friends' Ross and Rachel were not perfect for each other

Moments from Friends | Images via Netflix
Moments from Friends | Images via Netflix

The relationship between Ross and Rachel was one of the most important story arcs that people enjoyed on the show Friends. Their journey was filled with memorable moments from the beginning of their love to the difficult times when they parted ways. Some viewers acknowledged the numerous issues in their relationship, while others felt they should remain together. There were underlying problems in their relationship that stopped it from being ideal.

Misunderstandings, jealousy, a lack of respect, and attempting to control the other person frequently thwarted their love. The group of friends noticed the strain caused by their ongoing breakups and fights. There were problems, even though their story was depicted as a straightforward love affair. It is obvious when we pay attention that love alone was not enough for them. Despite their on-screen chemistry, it is clear from these 7 criteria why Ross and Rachel weren't the perfect match.

Disclaimer: This article is solely the writer's opinion. Reader's discretion is advised.


Here is a list of 7 reasons why Friends' Ross and Rachel were not perfect for each other:

7. Ross's lack of support for Rachel's career

The one where Ross and Rachel take a break | Image via Netflix
The one where Ross and Rachel take a break | Image via Netflix

Ross catches Rachel off guard in her office with a romantic picnic in Friends' season 3, episode 15, to celebrate their anniversary. However, Rachel is unable to leave the office due to her excessive workload. Ross is upset by what she said and believes that she disregards their connection. When Rachel declares her commitment to her work stating,

"This is the first time in my life I’m doing something that I’m actually good at,"

Ross replies dismissively and says,

"It’s just a job!"

It also shows that Ross does not support or comprehend Rachel's desire to pursue a career. He views her success at work as a challenge to their relationship, which highlights that their priorities in life are not the same.


6. Constant arguments and hostility

The one the morning after | Image via Netflix
The one the morning after | Image via Netflix

Misunderstandings and arguments happen often in their relationship. In episode 16 of season 3 of Friends, Ross’s infidelity causes a big argument. When Ross begs for forgiveness, Rachael, heartbroken, responds,

"There is nothing you can say or do. It's just changed everything. Forever."

Their conversation emphasizes how often they face unresolved issues, which are emotional and lack solutions. When they can't discuss difficulties or communicate effectively, their relationship turns into a roller coaster rather than a loving one. As a result, this leads to toxic behaviors.


5. Ross's jealous and controlling nature

The One with the Male Nanny of Friends | Image via Netflix
The One with the Male Nanny of Friends | Image via Netflix

Ross and Rachel interview a man named Sandy in "The One with the Male Nanny" episode for the position of a nanny to look after their daughter Emma. On November 7, 2002, the sixth episode of Friends' ninth season premiered. This is the show's 200th episode overall. Ross shows discomfiture with Sandy's line of work, asking,

"What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? It's like if a woman wanted to be... King?"

He inquires further about Sandy's sexual orientation and asks,

"Are you gay?"

Ross doesn’t want to hire Sandy, even with Sandy’s qualifications and Rachel’s support. His fears have a greater impact on his decision than Emma's needs. Ross’s actions here reveal that he cannot accept Rachel being different from what society expects, and he does not always respect her choices, which worsens the unequal relationship between them.


4. Ross's Infidelity during their break

Ross and Rachel in "The One the Morning After" episode of Friends | Image via Netflix
Ross and Rachel in "The One the Morning After" episode of Friends | Image via Netflix

The Ross and Rachel scandal in the third season of Friends is popular among Friends fans. The fans have seen Rachel advise that the two take a break after their argument. In the episode "The One the Morning After" of Friends, Ross woke up beside Chloe, but then heard a message from Rachel wanting to make up. Rachel contacts Ross soon after he storms out to tell him she didn't mean it. Ross gets anxious and tries his hardest to prevent Rachel from finding out about his infidelity. But once Rachel finds out, she is left very upset. Ross insists that,

"We were on a break,"

Their relationship ends as a result of Ross's impulsive actions and lack of communication, which causes a significant loss of trust.


3. Manipulative tendencies

Scene from Friends' The One at the Beach Episode | Image via Netflix
Scene from Friends' The One at the Beach Episode | Image via Netflix

In "The One at the Beach" episode of Friends, Rachel tricks Bonnie into shaving off her hair once more in an attemot to make Ross less fond of her. "The One at the Beach" is the twenty-fifth and last episode of the American comedy Friends' third season. On May 15, 1997, it had its US television debut on NBC. In this episode, we see Bonnie reminiscing about the time when she had shaved off all her hair. Rachel, now wanting Bonnie out of the way so she can get back with Ross, advises her to take it all off once more.

After this, Bonnie shaves her head, which visibly uneases Ross. He challenges Rachel about why she made such a suggestion. Rachel seems to act out of jealousy and wants to hurt Ross's bond with Bonnie. It reveals Rachel's willingness to influence Ross's lifestyle for her own gain, and her deceptive nature contributes to their troubled relationship.


2. No matching attributes between them

Ross and Rachel would not still be together in Friends | Image via Netflix
Ross and Rachel would not still be together in Friends | Image via Netflix

A relationship is strengthened when both partners have at least some similar interests. People with diverse personalities can still be attracted to each other, but for a relationship to endure, they need to make an effort to be interested in each other's interests. Ross and Rachel provide a classic case in point.

What else is there for them to talk about after their passionate arguments? Ross and Rachel’s interests—paleontology and fashion—are different and don’t interest the other very much. In fact, neither makes a meaningful attempt to understand the other's world. The disconnect, which is sometimes played up for humor, signals a huge divide between them.

Couples are not required to share the same interests, but exceptional partners are prepared to try things that thrill their partner, even if they are outside of their regular inclinations. Showing interest does not mean taking on everything someone enjoys; it means caring enough to pay attention, ask about it, and respect what is significant to them. That’s the way real connection grows.


1. Toxic dynamics affecting their friends

Bedroom Peeking Scene | Image via Netflix
Bedroom Peeking Scene | Image via Netflix

After a back-breaking argument, Rachel discovers he slept with another woman in the previous episode of Friends, “The One with the Morning After.” All of their friends—Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe—are confined to the bedroom and forced to listen to their argument. The process involves a variety of sounds, sensations, and discomforts.

Fans of Friends can see that their friends are feeling awkward and don’t have any idea how to help. Their argument isolates them from the world where they don't realise what is going on around them. For example, Monica observes that it is late at night and Rachel hasn't even thought about why Monica hasn't come home yet.

A healthier relationship ensures that people around them don’t find themselves in a difficult position. This episode revealed that their connection was harmful to both themselves and others close to them. This merely confirms that they were not a suitable match for one another.


It can be concluded that their relationship with one another had many highs and lows well into the last season of Friends. Ross and Rachel's earlier troubles were not forgotten, even if they reconciled at the end. They acted in ways that showed an unhealthy relationship, including controlling behavior, poor connection, and being tense most of the time. They were not meant to be together, as evidenced by their separation, inability to encourage one another's goals, and disregard for personal space.

The diversity seen between them often increased separation instead of uniting them. Many of their most joyful moments eventually turned into chaos and arguments. Even while their relationship added a lot of interest to the program, managing such a partnership would be challenging in real life.

Edited by Ayesha Mendonca