Can a Handmaid ever become a wife in The Handmaid’s Tale? The rules of Gilead, explained

Let’s just say you wake up one morning in The Handmaid’s Tale universe, stuck inside the color-coded hellscape that is Gilead. You’re no longer allowed to work, read, drive, or choose your own breakfast cereal. Worse, you’ve been assigned the role of Handmaid - one of the red-robed women forced to bear children for elite Commanders and their infertile Wives. Your name is no longer yours. Your body is government property. You’re basically a walking womb with anxiety.

So what do you do? You follow the rules, you keep your mouth shut, and deep down, you start to wonder: Is there a way out of this? Can I ever become a wife? It’s a wild hope. The Wives of Gilead live in big houses. They sip tea, wear stylish teal dresses, and don’t have to undergo monthly “ceremonies.” Becoming one sounds like an upgrade. But Gilead doesn’t run on promotions; it runs on obedience and control.

Let’s break down ten very real, very rigid rules that show exactly why a Handmaid’s upgrade to Wife just isn’t on the table.

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Can a Handmaid ever become a wife in The Handmaid’s Tale? The rules of Gilead, explained

Rule 1: Only pious, infertile women are chosen as wives

In The Handmaid’s Tale, wives in Gilead are selected from a pre-approved list of women deemed morally pure and socially elite. They usually come from high-ranking families, follow the faith perfectly, and, ironically, can’t have children. Handmaids, on the other hand, are women who’ve “sinned” in the eyes of the regime. They might’ve been divorced, had affairs, or even just tried to live freely. That red dress they wear isn’t just a uniform—it’s a label. And once you’ve been labeled, you don’t get invited to the teal club.

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Rule 2: Handmaids cannot legally marry or remarry under Gilead law

Marriage in Gilead is a one-time religious contract. If you were married before the regime took over, and it wasn’t your first marriage, it’s invalid. Once you’re labeled a Handmaid, your past is erased. You can’t marry again, even if a Commander likes you. There’s no ceremony, no courtship, not even a “let’s make this official” in The Handmaid’s Tale. You’re permanently disqualified from wife status. Fertility might get you more chances at a high treatment, but it won’t get you a wedding ring.

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Rule 3: Wives are married once, and that’s it

In Gilead, Wives are locked into their position like a phone plan you can’t cancel. There’s no dating scene, no Tinder, and definitely no second chances. If a wife loses her husband to death or disgrace, she doesn’t remarry—she fades into background roles like Aunt or Widow. And if you’re a Handmaid, you’re never in the marriage game to begin with. That entire category is closed off. You don’t swap red for teal just because you followed the rules in The Handmaid’s Tale universe. Once a Handmaid, always one—until your uterus quits or you do.

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Rule 4: Class doesn’t flow upward...especially not for women

Gilead is structured like a stack of Legos that can’t be rearranged in The Handmaid’s Tale. Commanders are at the top, wives come next, then Marthas, then Handmaids, and then the women in the Colonies - if you’re lucky. And if you’re a woman, you stay where you’re supposed to. There’s no ladder to climb, and no career counseling. You’re not promoted based on behavior or success - you’re assigned a role, and it sticks like glue.

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Rule 5: “Unwomen” status is assigned for acts of rebellion, even minor ones

Gilead doesn’t tolerate ambition in The Handmaid’s Tale. If a Handmaid even looks like she’s dreaming of a better life, or worse, trying to claim one - she risks being branded “Unwoman.” That label is official. You don’t just get it for burning a Bible; you can earn it for talking back or running away. Once labeled, you’re stripped of rights and sent to the Colonies, where you dig in toxic dirt until you drop. Wanting to be a Wife is already seen as arrogance. And in Gilead, arrogance is punishable.

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Rule 6: You break the rules, you lose your womb privileges

Handmaids aren’t just punished with slaps on the wrist - they’re punished with disfigurement, torture, or exile. One wrong move, and you’re out of the rotation. If the authorities decide you’re unfit to bear children, you’re sent away - sometimes sterilized, sometimes worse. Gilead doesn't hand out warnings, it hands out scars. So if a Handmaid starts flirting with a Commander or acting “above her station,” she’s more likely to end up on a wall than in a wedding. Rule-breakers in The Handmaid’s Tale don’t get upgraded...they get erased.

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Rule 7: Handmaids are forbidden from owning or reading religious texts

Religious knowledge in Gilead is restricted to men and, to some extent, Wives. Handmaids aren’t allowed to read, especially not scripture. The Bible is hidden away, and quotes are spoon-fed in ceremonies or by Aunts. Wives, on the other hand, can sometimes lead prayers or refer to verses. This divide is legal, not just cultural. Since religious literacy equals power in Gilead, the Handmaid's illiteracy guarantees she never reaches Wife-level authority. You can’t become a Wife if you’re not even trusted to read about wives in The Handmaid’s Tale universe.

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Rule 8: Commanders must submit all Handmaid transfers to the Council

Even the powerful Commanders can’t do as they please with their Handmaids. All transfers—especially after a successful birth—have to go through Gilead’s governing council. Every Handmaid is tracked like livestock - her behavior, fertility, and health are recorded in files. So if a commander wanted to “keep” a handmaid longer or marry her (which, again, is illegal), the paperwork would expose him. The system is built to prevent personal bonds—your destiny isn’t determined by love or loyalty in The Handmaid’s Tale; it’s determined by bureaucratic boxes.

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Rule 9: A Handmaid’s body is state property

Handmaids don’t belong to their Commanders in The Handmaid’s Tale, they belong to Gilead. Their job is to provide children to the ruling class, and that means their bodies are regulated like public transportation. Monthly cycles are tracked, meals are monitored, even their sleep is scheduled. If you don’t own your own body, you definitely don’t get to marry into power. You’re not a citizen; you’re a function, and functions don’t get married - they get maintained.

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Rule 10: Postpartum Handmaids are reassigned, not rewarded

Give birth? Great, you get a nap and a glass of water. Then, once the baby’s been weaned, you’re reassigned to a new household to do it all over again. Gilead doesn’t let Handmaids form attachments—not to babies, and definitely not to Commanders. Birth doesn’t come with bonuses in The Handmaid’s Tale universe. You don’t level up to wife; you head sideways to a new bed, a new teal dress in your peripheral vision, and another chance.

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So, can a Handmaid ever become a Wife in Gilead? Short answer: not by law, not by favour, and definitely not by dreaming hard enough, as the system in The Handmaid’s Tale is rigged. You’re picked for red, you stay red. The moment you step into the Red Center, your role is stamped, sealed, and enforced. Even love, loyalty, or childbirth won’t change your rank. Gilead is a machine, and once it decides you’re a part, you don’t get upgraded - you just get used. It’s bleak, yes. But understanding the rules is how resistance starts - not by hoping to become a Wife, but by realizing the whole setup needs to be torn down.