Dying for Sex creators on Rob Delaney’s impact and their Emmy-nominated journey

The FX limited series Dying for Sex has earned nine Emmy nominations, such as Outstanding Limited or Anthology Series, Lead Actress (Michelle Williams), Supporting Actor (Rob Delaney), Supporting Actress (Jenny Slate), and various other categories. For co-creators Elizabeth Meriwether and Kim Rosenstock, the news was hard to believe. Especially for Meriwether, who was sitting in a doctor’s office with a broken foot, when her phone exploded with messages.

In a conversation with The Hollywood Reporter (THR), Meriwether recalls the story of informing the receptionist that she just received an Emmy nomination, to which the receptionist responded with a not-so-interested “Cool”. This moment captures the energy of comedy and emotional rawness that permeates Dying for Sex itself, a show about terminal diagnosis, investigation, and bonding that has now become one of the most talked-about limited series of the year.

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Dying For Sex: The Emmy spotlight and Rob Delaney’s role

For a show that dives into grief, intimacy, and a kind of darkly rebellious humor, landing an Emmy just hits different. Dying For Sex is based on the true story of Molly Kochan, a woman with a terminal cancer diagnosis who sought out sexual and emotional experiences after leaving her marriage of 15 years that would re-frame the rest of her life.

The FX series was tasked with the challenge of adapting a podcast hosted by Kochan and her best friend, Nikki Boyer. The show carries the sensitive burden of doing justice to her words while still expanding on the story to fit on the screen.

The performance of Rob Delaney was a subject of additional attention among the nine nominations. As “Neighbor Guy,” a surrogate character built up after multiple influential figures in the life of the real-life Molly (who is represented by Michelle Williams), Delaney guided the fictionalized Molly to a love story that can be called profound and unconventional.

That move to create the Neighbor Guy was critical, as Meriwether describes it:

“That was the place where we knew we wanted to go off of what had actually happened with Molly, but take some different experiences and people that she was with and put them into one person, and possibly continue her journey to where she found this real connection with this other person — which was something that, in the podcast, she gets to by the end, but then, ultimately, doesn’t have the time to do. We wanted to give that to her. We wanted to give her this love.”

Delaney, last seen in the dark comedy Catastrophe, deftly balanced devastation and warm-spiritedness as an actor who otherwise might have played his part into the cliché. Rather, Dying For Sex presented an unconventional couple relationship: one that has BDSM, vulnerability, and compassion.

Rosenstock explained to THR that Delaney’s casting hit creatively and tonally:

“Catastrophe was one of the shows that we talked about in terms of tone and things that had gone to these darker places while also being so funny, and Rob helped us understand what this tone could be. He’s one of the people who inspired us, so having him actually be in the show, playing this part, was a huge gift.”

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Dying For Sex redefines sex, humor, and death

Dying for Sex pioneers an unpaved trail in storytelling on television. Michelle Williams, in her role as Molly Kochan, plays the role of a deeply visceral and grounded woman who wants to experience life to the fullest because she has been told she will be dead soon.

About the casting of Williams, Meriwether explained that she “feels like the top of anybody’s list”.

“Almost immediately upon talking to her about the role, it became so clear it had to be her, and that she understood it to her bones.”

That authenticity was essential since Dying For Sex is not only a story of escape, it is a journey of sexuality as a way of healing. Making this happen in a way that sex could not be used as a joke but rather as an important tool of storytelling, just the way it is, was not up for question in the eyes of the creators.

As Rosenstock noted:

“It was important to us that we show sex as serving a purpose for Molly in her spiritual healing, in her emotional growth… It was also important to us to make sure we were showing sex in a way that it was never the source of humor. It could be funny, but it was never her desire that was funny. That was a big part of what the real Molly was trying to do when she was telling her story.”

Through this approach, Dying For Sex unmounts old taboos on the screen, making it understandable that even those in the face of illness or non-romantic sexual relationships may be multifaceted, passionate, and erotically capable.

The roles of other characters, particularly Jenna Slate, playing the role of Nikki Boyer as the confidant of Molly, do not go unnoticed either. Not only did she add a comedic element and much-needed emotional depth, but she also did a chemistry read with Williams, something that stuck with the co-creators as unusual and indicative of her commitment to the project.

Their on-screen relationship grounded the production in friendship as well as discovery to grow the intimacy that existed in the podcast.

The most daring stroke of this was in the finale. By not focusing on the sex but on her death, Dying For Sex ended with a very quiet and yet radical act. By quoting Molly’s own words from the podcast to the audience, “It’s not that serious. Let’s get this show on the road”, the creators allowed viewers a rare look at death not as spectacle, but as a very human experience.

What are your thoughts on the show? Sound off in the comments section.

Also, read: What is Dying for Sex about? Here's everything you need to know about the Emmy-nominated FX series