“I think he has not healed” – Family or Fiancé’s Sky reveals James is still coping with his father’s death

Sky and James, a couple featured on the reality series Family or Fiancé season 4 episode 8, opened up about their complex personal histories and emotional struggles in the episode aired on OWN. Sky revealed that although they’ve been engaged for five months, their relationship continues to be shaped by unhealed trauma from both sides.

“I think he has not healed,” Sky said, referring to James’s grief over the death of his father. “It's been years, but it seemed like it would happen last year,”

She added while reading a prompt during the exercise segment of the show. The episode of Family or Fiancé highlighted the emotional conversations the couple had with host Tracy McMillan and their families.

Sky detailed how James's unresolved grief over his father’s passing in 2016 still affects their bond, while James shared the depth of the loss he experienced. The episode also explored Sky’s childhood trauma, her father’s substance issues, and her relationship with her mother. Through these difficult discussions, Family or Fiancé showcased the emotional hurdles Sky and James must confront before marriage.

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Family or Fiancé's James opens up about losing his father

During the episode of Family or Fiancé, James opened up about his father's death.

“My dad died from colon cancer in 2016. I just turned 21. That was my best friend,”

James told Sky's family. Reflecting on the grief, he continued,

“My dad, when he passed, it was like, dang. For a while, I felt like, bro, this ain't real. Like, I used to be crazy, but I used to call his name like Pops, and he wasn't there. It felt like a part of me left when he died.”

Later in the episode, Sky read a prompt aloud:

“How do you feel about the healing that James needs from his father's passing?”

In response, she said it didn’t feel like he had fully healed, noting that although many years had passed, it seemed as though the healing process might have begun just the previous year. Her statement highlighted how James’s grief still lingers and affects their relationship.

The couple revealed they had been together for more than a year, first meeting at a homecoming event while attending the same university in Daytona Beach. James recalled the moment they connected, and Sky shared that after he greeted her at the party, they “never stopped talking.” They also confirmed they’d been engaged for five months.

Sky also shared details about the proposal during their time on Family or Fiancé.

“Literally after his speech, after I say yes, before I can even kiss him, my dad jumps into the pool. I just hear a splash... he has very bad eyesight, so his glasses are off... it's just a complete disaster. I'm like, this is so embarrassing for us. So we just packed up, and we just went home.”

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Sky reflects on her childhood

Sky opened up about the long-term effects of her father’s behavior, explaining that his substance abuse had deeply affected her. She recalled him being under the influence during a pool incident and said that while he had reportedly stopped drinking since her engagement, his past actions still trouble her.

Sky shared that she began noticing something was wrong when she was just six or seven, as her father had started abusing alcohol and other substances. She also revealed the lasting effects of childhood trauma.

“I just feel like I still suffer, like, you know, like, really bad, like, from anxiety. I'm trying not to cry. So, um... Like, it's right now, it's like a big, like, boom. Like, out in the field. I, like, have an anxiety attack because it reminds me of, like, times when my mother was, like, behind a closed door, and we know what was happening. We know she was, like, you know, being abused, but, like, we couldn't see it,” she said.

During a dinner with her mother on Family or Fiancé, Sky opened up about their emotionally distant past, admitting they didn’t get to show affection or vulnerability regularly. “We had to just be strong and just move on,” she said.

Her mother, visibly emotional, responded with an apology, acknowledging the pain in hearing how her actions may have affected her children. She explained that while she did her best, she had never received love or affection herself growing up, and made a conscious effort to do things differently with her first two children.

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Fans can stream Family or Fiancé on OWN.