'%20x='0'%20y='0'%20height='100%25'%20width='100%25'%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20xlink%3Ahref='data:image/jpg;base64,/9j/2wBDAAYEBQYFBAYGBQYHBwYIChAKCgkJChQODwwQFxQYGBcUFhYaHSUfGhsjHBYWICwgIyYnKSopGR8tMC0oMCUoKSj/2wBDAQcHBwoIChMKChMoGhYaKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCj/wAARCAAGAAoDASIAAhEBAxEB/8QAFgABAQEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMG/8QAHxAAAgICAgMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAQIDEQAEBQYSMUJR/8QAFAEBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABf/EABcRAQEBAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAECABH/2gAMAwEAAhEDEQA/AJ92n1utT6y8Ws8QBjavOwAVcUAK+h7Nms3+jxmtPo68ztIzyRq5JVbJIv8AMYw25OGXilU3/9k='%3E%3C/image%3E%3C/svg%3E)
Moira Rose is one of the most unforgettable characters on TV. This glamorous former soap opera star from Schitt’s Creek wears wild outfits, speaks dramatically, and often sounds like she’s quoting Shakespeare.
But if you listen closely, you’ll notice she offers surprisingly smart and helpful life advice. Under all the big words and funny moments, the actress gives advice that makes sense in real life. She may sound silly at first, but her words often hold wisdom. Here are 10 of her funniest lines, which are secretly great life lessons.
10 Moira Rose quotes in Schitt’s Creek that are secretly life advice
“You must prepare for life, and whatever it will throw at you. The opportunities will diminish, and the ass will get bigger.”
This unforgettable quote, from Season 5, Episode 7 ("The Hike"), is one of Moira’s funniest yet most honest pieces of advice. She’s speaking to her family, giving them a reality check that mixes humor with truth. The core message is about being realistic anyway, as we age, life doesn’t always get easier.
Opportunities may not always come, and our physical energy changes with age, but that’s not a bad thing if we’re prepared. Moira’s advice here is to be ready for life’s surprises, to chase dreams now, and not to waste time. It’s funny, yes, but it’s also real talk about getting older and learning to work with what you’ve got.
“Life is a party, and I’m the host.”
This awesome quote comes from Season 4, Episode 6 ("Asbestos Fest"). When Moira Rose is organizing a fundraiser and fully leaning into her leadership role, she says this. It may sound like she’s just being vain, but there’s wisdom behind her words. Moira is suggesting that we take ownership of our lives.
If life is a party, then we’re in charge of who we invite, what kind of mood we set, and how we respond when things go off-script. Too often, we let others control our stories or wait for things to “just happen.” But in Moira’s thinking, create the life you want, set your own space, and just don’t be afraid to take the spotlight.
“Never assume, dear. It makes an ass out of you and me.”
In Season 5, Moira delivers this classic line with her usual dramatic flair. While it’s an old saying, the way she uses that still hits hard in our hearts. Here she helps us learn a lesson about clear communication. Life is not about jumping to conclusions, like we do these days; we should just communicate.
Otherwise, this can lead to conflict, confusion, or you can call it an embarrassment. Moira reminds us that asking questions and listening are always better than assuming. It’s practical advice that works in friendships, work, and family life alike. Don’t guess, just communicate.
“Worry is but undernourished enthusiasm.”
This not-so-famous line from Season 6, Episode 13 ("Happy Ending") might sound a little tricky, but it means something important. Moira says it while trying to calm everyone down before David’s wedding. What she means is that worry is just extra energy that isn’t being used the right way.
It’s a poetic way of saying that when we’re anxious, because we care so much, and that is not good sometimes. Instead of letting worry drain us, we can turn it into action or excitement. This quote reminds us that when you’re feeling nervous, ask yourself what positive thing you could be doing with this energy instead.
“One must champion oneself and say, ‘I am ready for this!"
Moira says this in Season 5, Episode 6 ("The Hike") when Twyla feels unsure about what she can do. Moira gives her a sudden pep talk, and while it sounds fancy, it’s really about believing in yourself. What Moira means is that no one else will believe in you if you don’t first believe in yourself. You have to push yourself forward.
Life can be hard when you are starting a new job, going through a big change, or dealing with something unexpected. The first step to handling anything is to tell yourself, “I’ve got this.” Moira’s telling us not to wait around for someone to help us feel ready; we have to be our own biggest supporters.
“Tragedy plus time equals comedy.”
Moira says this in Season 2, Episode 3 ("Finding David") while the family is worried because David has gone missing. She’s trying to make the mood lighter, but her words actually mean something deep.
What feels like a terrible moment today can turn into something we laugh about later. Life is full of hard times, weird moments, and mistakes—but with time, we often see things differently. Moira is showing us that pain doesn’t last forever. Even if things feel really bad, just go get disappointed. Someday, you might remember the day and laugh. Here, Moira is reminding us to hang in the situation and wait for good, because time can turn sadness into strength or even into a funny memory.
“You are blind to reality, and for that, I am most proud.”
In Season 5, Moira Rose says this to her children. At first, it might sound like she’s making kind of fun of them, but she’s actually doing something different. Teaching them life lessons, here, she means that not noticing all the bad things in the world can be a good thing.
Being kind and hopeful, even when life is hard, is something we should be proud of. Many people become mean or stop caring as they grow up, but Moira is happy that her child still sees the good in everyone. This quote is a reminder to be kind, even when the world feels crazy, to survive at all. It’s okay to be harsh on people.
“What’s life without a little drama?”
In Season 3, Episode 5 ("The Affair"), Moira says this during a stressful scene. Unnaturally, she seems to enjoy the excitement here. That’s because Moira Rose doesn’t run away from messy situations. This quote shows us that life isn’t always smooth and simple, and that’s okay.
Some drama, like unexpected changes, emotional days, or big decisions, keeps things interesting. If life were too easy, we wouldn’t grow. Moira is telling us not to fear the chaos, but to face it and maybe even enjoy it a little. Sometimes, the wild moments help us learn who we are.
“Gossip is the devil’s telephone. Best to just hang up.”
In Season 4, Episode 4 ("Girls' Night"), Moira Rose says this line while talking about how people like to gossip. Schitt’s Creek is full of stories being shared behind people’s backs. Even though Moira enjoys being noticed here, she understands that gossip can be harmful as well.
She compares it to a phone call from someone you shouldn’t answer; it might seem interesting, but it’s smarter to stay away from it. Talking about others might feel fun in the moment, but it can hurt people and stir up unnecessary drama. What Moira is saying is that if you want a peaceful life, don’t take part in gossip.
“I know all about being left in the lurch for a fundraiser.”
Moira says this in Season 4, Episode 6 when someone bails out of a local event last minute. It sounds like she’s just complaining in her way. But there’s more to it. She’s talking about how important it is to keep your word. Moira has been in situations where people let her down, and she knows how frustrating that feels.
This quote reminds us that if you say you’re going to do something, follow through, no matter what. Whether it's helping a friend, doing your job, or being part of a team, just do it. Moira’s telling us that being dependable is a big part of being a good person.
Trending
Moira Rose might act wild and funny, but she is also a very smart person who inspires us. The things she says aren’t just meant to make us laugh, these words often teach us something big, something real, like how to believe in ourselves. Just be honest and respect who we are.
Whether she’s helping a friend or facing her challenges, Moira always leaves us with something to think about. With her one-of-a-kind way of talking and big personality, Moira shows us that even when life gets messy, it can still be wonderful. If we pay attention, we’ll see that her words are more than jokes—they can help us in real life.
Reply
