“Tanner can talk to anyone” — Love on the Spectrum star Tanner Smith’s mom shares her feelings about his time on the show 

In a recent phone interview, Nicci Smith — mother of Netflix Love on the Spectrum star Tanner Smith — beamed with pride as she recounted finding her son casually FaceTiming with actor Mark Wahlberg, who has a daughter attending Clemson University.

"Tanner can talk to anyone," Nicci tells TODAY, her voice brimming with pride.

For 26-year-old Tanner, who was diagnosed with autism at the age of two and a half and who once avoided making eye contact with peers or teachers, this social ease is a remarkable journey. Now, the Clemson Shepherd Hotel maintenance guy has won viewers' hearts with his upbeat attitude and contagious optimism, which are summed up in his Instagram bio: "Bring the joy."

His participation in the dating reality series Love on the Spectrum showcases not just his search for romance but the incredible personal growth that Nicci describes as "a freaking miracle" compared to his childhood struggles with social interaction and sensory sensitivities.

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Nicci comments on Tanner Smith’s journey to Love on the Spectrum

The contrast between Tanner's childhood and his current television persona on Love on the Spectrum couldn't be more striking.

"If it wasn't me or a family member, he would turn his face away," Nicci remembers.

Elaborating:

"The world is seeing happy, social Tanner now, but there were years when he didn't play with other children."

Family outings were often tension-filled experiences, with his parents constantly worried about potential triggers. Loud noises like basketball game buzzers could overwhelm him, and he preferred solitary activities like swinging rather than joining other children on playground slides.

Today, Love on the Spectrum star Tanner has graduated from Clemson University's LifeSkills program, lives independently with roommates, and maintains a job he loves. His transformation required decades of therapy, including applied behavior analysis (ABA).

Viewers followed Tanner's dating journey in Love on the Spectrum Season 3, including a memorable but awkward blind date at a goat farm with a woman named Shyann.

"To me, that date was very uncomfortable, because I know him," Nicci admits.

Explaining:

"I felt bad for both of them — I think she had a bit of stage fright and didn't know what to say, and he felt like it was his responsibility to carry the conversation but didn't know how to draw her out."

Nicci observes that "when you're autistic, anxiety is always there," and she sensed Tanner's struggle during the interaction, despite his upbeat manner.

Though Tanner and Shyann parted as friends on Love on the Spectrum, his connection with Callie, a 21-year-old Williams syndrome advocate, proved more promising.

"Callie is an open chapter," Nicci shares.

Suggesting further:

"There was a lot of chemistry. They bounce off each other very well, and let's just see where it goes."

The families have begun spending time together, with plans for Tanner to visit Callie's home to see her pool and horses.

Nicci addresses criticisms of the show

Nicci understands the criticism that Love on the Spectrum often focuses on autistic individuals who are more verbally fluent or perceived as “high-functioning.” But she wants people to know that her son Tanner’s journey hasn’t always looked as smooth as it might now.

While he may seem socially comfortable, she points out that he still faces serious challenges that become clear when you spend time with him. Something as simple as not having a driver’s license, for example, comes from those very real difficulties.

Through her podcast Talk to Me Sis, which she co-hosts with Lise Smith (mother of fellow Love on the Spectrum cast member Connor Tomlinson), Nicci hopes to bring more visibility to the broad spectrum of autism. Their goal is to give voice not just to those on the spectrum but also to caregivers, many of whom are overwhelmed, burned out, and rarely heard.

She reflects on her early years as a parent, when she was constantly searching for solutions, experimenting with diets and therapies in the hopes of “fixing” Tanner. Back then, she thought there was a finish line, an expert with the answer, or a breakthrough treatment that would make everything easier. Over time, she learned that autism doesn’t work that way. There’s no magic formula, just a lot of trial and error, consistency, and patience.

She suggests slowing down for families who have received a new diagnosis. Understanding your child's unique needs—their triggers, sensory problems, and the resources they require to cope with their environment is more crucial than searching for miracle remedies.

"What he really needed was for us to slow down a bit, figure out his triggers, understand his sensory issues, and learn how to help him help himself," she reflects.

She describes their family’s journey as one of shifting perspectives — moving away from trying to “fix” autism and instead learning how to nurture it into something beautiful in its own way.

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You can watch Love on the Spectrum Season 3, which premiered on April 2, 2025, streaming now on Netflix.