Unpopular opinion: Modern Family’s Claire Dunphy wasn’t a control freak mom, here's why

Modern Family gave us many over the top characters. We got various versions of parenting too. And Claire Dunphy is one of the mothers in the show who is not really regarded as the best. She is sharp-tongued and emotional but also logical at the same time. But honestly? The Dunphy household wouldn't have survived without her.

She is always the one making things happen and also fixing things. She is almost always stressed except during her favorite holiday, Halloween. She is a protective mother and wants everything that's best for her family. And because of that she's almost always labeled the "control freak."

She is looked at as either too uptight or too bossy by even the other characters of Modern Family. But the more you watch, the more you realize that Claire isn’t trying to make sure everything is good for her family just for fun. She’s doing it because no one else will.

The “control freak mom” has become such a cultural shorthand that we often stop asking why she’s that way. Claire is constantly surrounded by Phil and the kids in Modern Family. And they are just okay letting things fall apart. But she’s expected to clean it all up. She’s the planner not because she likes the power but because she knows what happens when no one plans.

Let's get into it a bit more.

Disclaimer: This article reflects the author's opinions. Reader discretion is advised.

Modern Family: Claire Dunphy is just surrounded by people who don’t listen

Throughout Modern Family, Claire is perceived as being “too much” - she is too intense, too critical, too naggy. But let’s look at the people around her. Phil is lovable but forgets things constantly. The kids, especially Haley and Luke, are just way too self-absorbed and so they need constant corralling.

It only makes sense for Claire to become hyper-organized and a little on edge in that environment in Modern Family. Claire’s so-called control issues are actually a direct response to the unreliability around her. And let’s be honest, nine times out of ten, she’s the one who’s actually right.

In one of the episodes, Claire is seen going to the firing range to cope with her stress. When Gloria Pritchett gets to know about this, Claire explains:

"I live with four teenagers. You live with two adults."

This quote tells us that she’s simply someone under a lot of pressure trying to manage a household that hardly ever gives her a break. She also says that her "sacred space" isn’t a spa or a yoga studio but a firing range. So we get to know that it’s not about relaxation; it’s about release.

Claire has to deal with four people who've hardly got their life together while Gloria’s life is comparatively more stable. Claire’s need to blow off steam in a firing range of all places is an unorthodox way. And that tells us just how stressed she is in Modern Family.

When we call women like Claire “control freaks,” what we’re really doing is penalizing them for taking responsibility. Claire performs a range of emotional labor but all of that is invisible work in Modern Family. It’s exhausting and thankless.

The show gives us subtle glimpses into her vulnerability too. We know she has a need to be seen. We know she has her moments of self-doubt and a desire to loosen up. But she is never able to trust that anyone else will pick up the slack.

She’s not trying to dominate her family. She’s trying to make sure they don’t fall apart. And that deserves far more empathy than the tired stereotype she often gets stuck with in Modern Family.

Trending

Stay tuned to Soap Central for more updates and detailed coverage.

×

Was this article helpful?

Thank You for feedback