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You focuses on Joe Goldberg, who repeatedly says to himself and others that he wants to change. But how is it possible for a man who does not even feel guilty after hurting people? So. You show. In this series, Joe says he wants to be better, to love without hurting, and to stop killing.
But across four seasons, his actions say something else. Every time he promises to be good, he ends up doing something dark. He hides behind words, charm, and excuses. However, the truth is that Joe pretends to change, again and again. Here are 10 times Joe Goldberg from You claimed to be different but proved otherwise.
You: 10 times Joe Goldberg pretended to change
1. When he moved to L.A. and became “Will” (Season 2)
After killing Guinevere Beck, his love interest in You, and faking his death, Joe runs away to Los Angeles. He changes his name to Will and says he wants to start over. He even avoids dating at first. But soon, he stalks Love Quinn. He cages the real Will Bettelheim and watches people from behind bookshelves again. Joe’s old patterns return fast. His new name doesn’t change who he is.
2. When he promised love, that he’d be honest (Season 2)
Joe tells Love he wants to be open and real with her. He says she’s the one person who can make him better. But he still lies to her. He hides his past with Beck and Candace. Joe also hides Delilah in his cage, and he acts like he’s honest but keeps secrets like before. When Love finds out everything, it’s too late.
3. When he said he’d be a good father (Season 3)
After marrying Love and becoming a father to baby Henry, Joe says he wants to change for his son. He claims he’ll stop killing and protect his family. But he cheats on Love with Marienne. He also murders multiple people, including Ryan (Marienne’s ex). Joe says fatherhood makes him better, but he still solves problems with violence in You.
4. When he tried to kill love, but called it “Freedom” (Season 3 Finale)
Joe poisons Love and leaves baby Henry with another couple. He burns down his house and fakes his death again. He says this is the only way to give Henry a normal life. But really, he wants to escape. Instead of facing his actions, he runs again. He doesn’t grow. He just resets in You.
5. When he said he loved Marienne differently (Season 3 & 4)
Joe believes that Marienne is the “pure” love he always wanted. He says he won’t ruin it like the others. But he follows her to Paris without her consent. When she runs from him, he doesn’t stop. He stalks her across Europe. Joe says he’s not obsessed, but everything he does proves otherwise. His “love” still means control, as seen in the early seasons of You.
6. When he claimed to be a new man in London (Season 4)
In Season 4 of You, Joe takes a new name again—Professor Jonathan Moore. He says he’s left violence behind. But soon, people start dying around him. At first, he believes someone else is the killer. However, later we discover that he has been the killer all along. He created an alternate persona to conceal his crimes. Instead of healing, Joe splits his mind. He doesn’t change. He just hides deeper.
7. When he blamed Rhys for the murders (Season 4)
Joe tells himself and others that Rhys Montrose is behind the killings. He talks to Rhys in his mind and blames him for everything. But Rhys is not real in You. He’s just a mask for Joe’s dark side. Joe creates Rhys so he can pretend he’s still good. But the truth is, he’s doing all the killing. Again, Joe avoids facing himself.
8. When he locked Marienne in a cage and thought it was “Kind” (Season 4)
Joe traps Marienne in a glass cage, just like he did with Beck, Benji, and others. But this time in You, he tells himself he’s keeping her safe. He says he’s giving her a second chance. Marienne doesn’t even know what’s happening at first—Joe has drugged her. He lies to her and lies to himself. His pattern repeats, but he calls it something new.
9. When he tried to jump off the bridge (Season 4 Finale)
At the end of Season 4 of You, Joe throws himself into the river. He says he wants to die to stop the cycle. For a moment, it looks like he finally sees his darkness. But he survives. Instead of learning, he returns home, regains his old wealth, and goes public under his own name. The old Joe is back, stronger and more dangerous.
10. When he claimed he finally accepted himself (Season 4 Ending)
Joe says he now accepts both sides of himself—the charming man and the killer. He stands beside Kate and says he’s finally able to use his ability for good. But he has no guilt, no remorse, and no actual strategy to stop hurting people. Rather than evolving, Joe leans into the darkness. He becomes more confident, not kinder.
Joe Goldberg in You claims he wants to be better. He tells it to the women he loves, to his child, and even to himself. But each time, he falls into the same trap: dominance and obsession, lies and brutality. His charisma hides his real self, but the wheel always turns.
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These 10 moments in You imply that Joe doesn’t grow. He runs, he lies, and he hurts. The face may change. The city may change. The love interest may change. But Joe stays the same.
His voice may be soft and syrupy, but his actions are criminal.
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