You can’t deny all the three elder Crain kids were a bit too rude in The Haunting of Hill House

The Haunting of Hill House gave us ghosts and horrors, but the sharpest pain came from the Crain family itself and especially with the 3 oldest siblings. Steven's superiority, Shirley's judgment, and Theo's sarcasm made the elder siblings feel more like enemies than siblings, at least on most occasions.

Their rudeness or the times that they were mean, it wasn't random and entitled, but it was born of grief, fear, and trauma. Nonetheless, it still left an impact.

And maybe that's what makes the show so unforgettable: the real hauntings were inside the Crain family itself.

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Steven’s sharp tongue and the weight of being the oldest in The Haunting of Hill House

If we're talking about rudeness in The Haunting of Hill House, Steven is often the winner and at the very top of the list. As the eldest, he surely does have a lot of weight to carry on his shoulders, but the way he handles it all makes him come across as cold and a bit too dismissive.

He denies the supernatural experiences that happened at Hill House, and instead, he blames everything on mental illness. That's like his coping tool, but it sure does put him at odds with his siblings and even with the fans who have come to love the show.

His book is the biggest example. Writing about the family's trauma without permission was already a betrayal, but what stung even more was the way he dismissed their experiences.

He often acted like he knew best and treated his siblings' pain as if it wasn't valid. When Nell tried reaching out, his tone was less like an older brother and more like a lecture. That superiority left scars deeper than he realized.

But Steven's rudeness isn't random. His final memory of his mother was terrifying, and his father's silence left him to fill in the blanks. He grew hardened, defensive, and tired. Still, while we can understand his bitterness, the way he lashed out at the twins and brushed off their suffering left him unlikable in many scenes.

The ghosts weren't the only cold presence in Hill House, and on the outside, because sometimes Steven's thought process was just as chilling.

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Shirley’s need to control and the way it hurt her family

Shirley, another elder Crain sibling, had her own brand of harshness in The Haunting of Hill House. On top of it all, she wanted to fix everything. She took on responsibility, built walls of control, and tried her best to hold the family together. But at the same time, that very same need to control often turned into snooty behavior.

Her anger at Steven for the Hill House book was understandable, but her bitterness always got the best of her. She also looked down on Luke's struggles, thinking money and structure could solve addiction.

When those efforts failed, she became even more resentful, pushing him away instead of offering emotional support. To put it simply, Nell was the only one who was truly ever present for Luke when times were difficult.

There's also her hypocrisy. Shirley was unfaithful in her marriage, yet reacted with fury at even the hint that her husband might stray. It highlighted how her own guilt spilled into judgment of others. This control, pride, and hypocrisy made her both frustrating and, at the same time, also a fascinating character to watch.

She wasn't cruel without reason because her childhood is what shaped her, but her rudeness was undeniable. In trying to "fix" everything, she ended up breaking more than she could realize.

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Theo’s biting sarcasm and lack of empathy for her siblings in The Haunting of Hill House

Theo is often a fan favorite in The Haunting of Hill House, but that doesn't mean she wasn't rude to the rest of the family. Her gift, with her being able to sense emotions through touch, should have made her the most empathetic of the Crains, but instead, she often covered up her sensitivity with sarcasm and harsh/mean words.

She mocked Steven, often fought with Shirley, even though she lived in Shirley's guest house, and at times was brutally dismissive of Nell's pain and traumas that stemmed from the hauntings back at Hill House. For someone trained as a psychologist, her comments about Nell's mental health were especially cutting.

Her drinking habits only fueled her bluntness, lowering her guard and leaving her words even more biting. For the twins, who were already fragile, Theo's lack of gentleness often deepened their loneliness.

But her rudeness came from somewhere real. Carrying the weight of emotions she could never fully turn off made her defensive. She used cruelty as armor. Beneath it, Theo did care that she tried to help children in her therapy practice and still showed up for Nell in her own messy way.

Yet to her siblings, she came across cold and scornful. And in a family already fractured, her cutting tone made the cracks wider.

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The Haunting of Hill House is one of those shows that stays with you for the longest time. It is scary, yes, but it is also deeply about family dynamics, grief, and the messy ways in which siblings have their clashes.

And honestly, you can't deny that the three elder Crain kids, i.e, Steven, Shirley, and Theo, were often a bit too rude and dismissive in their own ways. Sometimes their words were sharper and scarier than the ghosts that roamed the halls of Hill House, and it is part of this dynamic that shaped so much of the story.

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Also read: I was almost convinced that Theodora Crain would be the ultimate show stopper in The Haunting of Hill House