Hayley's comet: Beyond the Gates Two Scoops for the week of October 13, 2025

Dani was right all along on Beyond the Gates – she just didn't know why

Are y'all ready to go Beyond the Gates? Turns out Derek can do only one trick in his wheelchair, Leslie likes being a waitress but doesn't want anyone else to be one, and the frigid Kat suddenly knew how to heat things up. Elsewhere in the DMV, Nicole may or may not be happy with her divorce papers, Naomi wasn't ready for any day to be Mother's Day, and Hayley...well, that probably isn't even her name! Let's fill up those Two Scoops and find out what happened inside and outside the gates of Fairmont Crest!

Legs (keep on dancing)

The problem isn't the actors in the storyline. Ben Gavin brings a likable, if somewhat clueless, quality to alter ego Derek Baldwin, and Ashley Morgan can be a proficient, intuitive nurse in Jen Jacob's capable hands. It's the writing that consistently lowers the IQ of these characters, and it's a shame – especially since, outside of Vanessa and Joey, they rank as the only non-person of color couple on the show.

The show doesn't quite seem to know what to do with Dashley. They go around in circles and seem determined not to grow – the one time Ash had some clarity and decided she should take a break from men after feeling pulled between Derek and Andre, she ran whole hog into a Dashley redux, and only because Derek had paralyzed himself in that biking accident.

As for Derek, all he seems to be good at is coming upon Ashley and Andre having charged conversations – whether that be on foot or on wheels. This time, he had just experienced his first real progress with his leg, unconsciously moving it while he was working out his upper body in physical therapy. Shanice was overjoyed! She even convinced Derek to finally go and tell Ashley that there was now a definite sign on the road to recovery.

So what does boyfriend do? He rolls out and sees Ashley and Andre cooing over the baby they had helped deliver the first week of the show. Now, I love the continuity – it was great to see Alix again, and that “Ashley Andrea” is no longer a newborn just shows us that it's actually been eight months already since this show premiered. But once again, Derek saw Ashley with Andre and shut his mouth. And I'm tired of it.

Oh, he wheeled up and marked his territory with Ashley, but that's also nothing new. I will admit that I felt a soapy kind of glee when Derek announced to Alix that Andre had gotten married since the birth of her baby. Just a bit nasty of him, eh? Andre deserved it. But eight months is too long for this story. It's just boring, and these people – and that includes you, Andre, at least in your panting after Ashley – are on my last nerve by now.

She works hard for the money

I've said this in many previous columns, but it just bears repeating – I am so here for how, after all these months, we still get treated to new combinations of characters who have never had scenes together before. On Monday, it was Leslie and June – and if it hadn't come up in the dialogue, I might not have pieced it together that these ladies both have waitressing in common.

Nor did I expect the temperature to ratchet up like a deep fryer in the kitchen there at Orphey Gene's. Leslie was vocally unimpressed with June's service and reminded her that there was a four-top that needed to be taken care of. (I was a busboy in high school; this tracks!) But after Leslie threw around all her business about being the daughter of a music legend with a mansion being built from the ground up, June, unmoved, deemed Leslie demanding and high maintenance! Oh, it was on now!

Leslie might have gone without wanting to put extra potassium in June's lunch break coffee – at least until she saw June chatting it up with her Teddy boo. June's mouth was still hanging open from finding out that Ted was Samantha and Tyrell's adoptive grandfather when Leslie marched up, unsubtlely commanding June to step off her man. But that June...man, she didn't even flinch. I mean not one eyelash moved!

June promptly informed Leslie that, with everything she had seen and survived, ain't nothin' much scared her – especially Leslie. We've mostly seen Leslie sneaky and gleeful in her sneakiness, but not often menacing; here, she must have been watching some '90s Sheila Carter on The Bold and the Beautiful's YouTube channel, because she scowled to June that she could be scarier than anything June had come through.

And June just watched her leave, totally unaffected! Whoo doggies! Leslie has a real rival for Ted's affections and it's not Nicole – Leslie didn't expect that, did she! I could seriously be living for some more June vs. Leslie realness. Leslie had waitresses on the brain after that, because she dug out her old uniform from the time she was serving herself to Ted, chucked a trenchcoat over it, and presented herself to him as the daily special.

Just to be even more low-key, LOL, Leslie added a “stay away from June” to her seduction. Because that always works. Ted wasn't about any of it, so Leslie attempted a more hands-on approach...only for Kat to walk in and see Leslie trying to get on top of her father on his desk. Leslie loved being caught and made sure to flaunt the inappropriateness in Kat's face. Kat, on the other hand, was not down with her father getting down.

Ted affirmed his innocence – and in that instance he truly was – but Ted's done a lot to wear down his family's trust. Kat flamed him for looking like he was doing some “OnlyFans role play” (she gets some of the best lines!), then somberly told her dad, “I thought you were better than this.” Can you blame her? Ted has been scraping the bottom of the barrel for a while. He needs to do some of his reconstructive surgery on his life!

The best disco in town

Leslie brought back one of her aliases this week after quite the break from disguises: Miss Anna! And it turns out she has a last name: Bullock. I didn't catch on as fast as I would have liked, but Leslie named her doppelgänger after the one and only Tina Turner, whose given name was Anna Mae Bullock. Gotta love love love it! Even if Leslie inhabited her once again to make sure Eva was Tomás' one and only private dancer.

Leslie set up a country club nosh with Eva, while “Anna” arranged to meet Tomás as a client in the same locale. After Leslie/”Anna” did a double flake, and Tomás and Eva discussed their suddenly free evening, Eva realized that mama had done it again. Every time Eva thought Leslie was acting somewhat normal (for her), she went and busted out the wigs!

Tomás had an idea: Eva could go out with someone else. But, Eva said, doing so wouldn't deter Leslie; Eva had thought about it but had ruled out that particular tack. Eva then went to Leslie and said that her continuing to rely on the “old tactics” made them both look desperate and pathetic. Leslie begged to differ and got Eva to smile when she said Tina would have exhorted them to “break every rule.” Awesome.

Kat must have listened to that album, too, since she decided not to treat Tomás like a “typical male” (hey, Tina sings to a lawyer in that one; a propos as hell!). She flipped the script on Tomás having blindfolded her and brought her to a romantically set hotel room – by guiding him into a similar scenario in the same room. Tomás was about it...until he wasn't.

He'd been super jazzed about the gesture and even treated Kat to some salsa dancing – then he got all sullen and realized that the sight of the same bed where Kat had cried that he sucked at amor was chilling the hell out of his verga. So Kat – who just a month ago was asking Chelsea what the big deal was about sex – came on like she'd just binge watched all of Prince's videos and overruled the attorney by saying they could make love everywhere else in the room except the bed.

All right – nice touch. But did Kat do some serious pendulum swinging in going from “sex is gross” to “every surface is good to go,” or what? That, and I'm still not buying this pairing. Tomás isn't over his thing for Eva, and Kat is just feeling her huevos (or his) because she emerged victorious over Eva. If Eva does, in fact, start seeing someone new (which I have a feeling is coming), Kat will lose interest in Tomás before you can say vaya con Dios my darling!

Across town, at the Lakeview, Donnell came to Joey and basically told him to step off of Vanessa, because he was going to be the man of the house now. Well, good on ya, Joey replied – but if Vanessa needed to take a bereavement leave from her job, what were they going to do for money? Now I know Joey had to just be trolling, because even without all that money laundering cash, Vanessa was up to her eyeballs in Benjamins before she ever entered pre-school – and Donnell had to know that.

Joey henceforth offered Donnell a job as a dealer! Donnell hilariously said he couldn't even shuffle Uno cards (clever!) - and besides, how could he work in the place where his dad had spent his last hours? I wonder what Joey would have done if Donnell had taken him seriously! Even if the offer was a snow job, why would Joey risk keeping Donnell that nearby, in a place where the kid could discover his mom's affair and illegal activities?

Vanessa was over at the country club getting the third degree from Nicole, who deemed Joey dangerous and got Vanessa's hackles up when she suggested that it was bad mothering to expose Donnell to “that man!” The widow McBride defended Joey seven ways to Sunday and declared the two of them a “package deal!” So much for mourning Doug, eh? Van-Van wore solid black once and the guy hasn't been dead a month.

The realtor took her sashaying self over to Joey and the back room and was stunned to hear that he wanted to back out of their relationship! She was all, you're good with me laundering your money but not dirtying up your sheets? (Since when do poker tables have sheets?) Joey finally got a word in and said they needed to put some distance between them for the sake of Donnell, but Vanessa's response was basically, “Naw, let's not.”

Because keeping her salacious sex life a secret has worked out so well before. (Diego, you're well rid of her!) To emphasize my point, Randy strolled in and caught Joey and the suddenly single Vanessa making out! Good thing Randy agreed to keep it all on the down low, but let's not forget, Randy knows Donnell. Sir Parker could easily fix it so that Donnell finds out about Vanessa's cheating. I'm actually surprised it's taking this long for Donnell to clue in!

Sweet divorce

Look, I'm not gonna lie – Beyond the Gates did it right by including a gay couple from the very beginning. And, by virtue of Smitty and Martin being the only marrieds of that orientation, they need to be a strong example for all the critics and naysayers, of which there are still far too many in 2025. But I can't get on board with the Richardson-Smiths and their just-add-water reunion right now. And I'm gay!

Separated since the reveal of “Kenneth” in July and the tidal wave of secrets Martin had been keeping from Smitty, it's been only realistic that Smitty was very, very hesitant to let Martin back into his brownstone and his heart. Yes, parents have to take their kids into account, but Tyrell and Samantha are nearly grown – they could have handled a divorce.

Smitty thought long and hard about it all, made some missteps (like sleeping with Martin to “get his needs met” – and finally made the mature decision to attempt coming back from the estrangement by going to couples therapy and testing the waters with a series of once-a-week dates. This was a very reasonable course of action. Which is why I can't understand the show upending that plan and having Smitty be the one to rush Martin to the homegrown altar for a vow renewal.

For Smitty to just suddenly trust Martin again completely sandbags the cautiousness he displayed for months. And that he came to this conclusion after one date and zero therapy...not only is it out of character, it robbed us of getting to see these guys truly reconnect. I know – there's no entertainment in watching them go through therapy, or go on date after date. But this reunion was totally botched.

Martin didn't even have to do anything – he got everything he wanted with no effort! And Smitty can miss me with saying the best way to prove to the kids that Martin wasn't going anywhere was to have them witness a marriage ceremony. That statement made me feel like Smitty didn't do it for the right reasons. I do believe Martin has grown somewhat...but Smitty needs to clean his glasses and see that he totally rushed bringing his husband home...and for no good reason.

For what it's worth, though, I did like Friday's juxtaposition (my favorite word) of the Richardson-Smiths renewing vows with the Richardsons receiving their final decree. It's not the first theme episode the soap has done lately; I like it. Kat had just barely begun to process that her dad had given waitress Leslie...er...a tip again when mama Nicole learned her divorce was final.

Kat thought there was still time for Nicole to rip the papers up; she encouraged Nicole to talk to Ted one more time to be absolutely sure she wanted to just be a Dupree again. I was glad that Nicole ignored this advice. Ted did keep his infidelity a secret for well over two decades. He may not have known he had a daughter with Leslie, but I can see how this is all too much for Nicole to come back from.

Of course, Leslie didn't do herself any favors. Seeing Ted with his copies, Ms. Thomas said she wasn't happy for him – she was angry. Nicole had dragged her heels on cutting Ted loose, which was time Leslie could have had with him. Hell, Leslie added, had Ted left Nicole back in the day instead of reuniting with her, he and Leslie could have had years of fun and love – and given Eva a sibling. “What is wrong with you?” Ted asked in disbelief. You don't know by now, Ted?

Ted needs to be a man, suck it up, and accept his divorce already. The time for attempting to save his marriage his over, and he didn't do much in that regard besides. He took the last moments before Smitty and Martin exchanged vows again to make a pitch for Nicole taking him back, hoping the romance of the festivities would finally melt her heart towards him. This after she just got through telling him not to pull anything on their son and son-in-law's special day! Can Ted not read a room?

Martin and Smitty's vows were nice, but since I can't invest in this couple for fear their skipped steps will just lead to their undoing in the near future, I'll skip my own step and make no further comment about the ceremony. Nicole and Ted were both affected by it, though, and Nicole had to run out because of her flood of emotion. Next we saw her, she was knocking on the door to Ted's hotel room!

Ted ushered his “beautiful Nicole” in, and the ex-Richardsons hugged. But wouldn't you know, Leslie spied her rival entering Teddy Weddy's room, and so yanked the fire alarm to, you know, put out any fires. But don't count on Nicole and Ted getting back together. My money says someone had a fantasy sequence; GATES is good at those. It's probably Ted's vision because he's the only one who still thinks Nicole will return to him! You watch! It's a fantasy!

Everybody plays the fool

We left off last week with Dani giving Andre an out. They could annul their marriage if Andre decided he wanted kids and all that. Well, while Andre went sniffing around Ashley and the baby they brought into the world, Dani showed up at Bill's office with an early birthday present – the first key to the office she had found for him back in the day. Gotta admit, for sheer sentimentality, that was a super thoughtful gesture.

Across town, Andre was reviewing his options when Hayley showed up giving him snark and essentially trying to get him to keep Dani away from Bill. Guess she tried that tactic too late, because when Hayley breezed by hubby's office, he was kissing Dani as thanks for the B-Day goodness! And Hayley was pissed! At the risk of sounding clickbaity, what Hayley did next will shock you, but let's finish up the Andre/Dani doings first.

Andre was none too happy that Dani had kept him waiting to discuss the fate of their marriage, which Dani herself had put into question, so that she could acknowledge her ex's birthday. Well, when you put it like that...! Dani looked let down when Andre's decision was to continue in their marriage, and he rightly asked if Dani had been hoping to be free so she could get back with Bill.

Dani got genuine and swore she really wanted things to work with Andre. She was trying – damn it, she was trying to put Bill in the rear view. So...how about Andre move in with her? Andre felt that was pretty fast-tracked, but he went along with it. He may not have, had he known Pamela was immediately going to recruit him as a model for Dupree-Curtis. When is that gonna open, anyway? It's been months since Operation Gemstone!

Now to the part y'all really wanna talk about! Hayley, fresh off of seeing Bill's liplock with Dani, ran to the casino to see Randy, who assured her that the security cameras were off. (How come they weren't when Marcel was pickling Doug in his final hour?) Ish was goin' down, Hayley announced to...her cousin! I knew there was some sort of deeper connection since Hayley got “Sammy” to help her stage her miscarriage, but I couldn't be sure they weren't ex-lovers or siblings. Now we know the deal!

And that's not all we know! It was time for Hayley to take Bill for everything he had – it's not like she loved him anyway! That's right, Hayley is a professional scammer, and she's made a career out of fleecing men and then disappearing on them. Bill was hardly her first! In fact, Hayley had so many passports and fake IDs that it's now almost certain Hayley Lawson isn't really her name. The plot thickens!

Here's the next juicy bit – “Hayley” (I'll drop the quotes from here, but we gotta establish ' em now that we know it's probably an alias) had wanted to target Joey, but Randy had talked her out of it! Oh...oh...where's mah smellin' salts! I knew there was something shady about Hayley, but I never figured the shade was this dark. This is either one helluva retcon, or the longest of well-played long games. I mean, we're talking about stuff that goes back to the first episode back in February!

Randy saw that “cuz” was done playing wifey to Bill and suggested Hayley just clean out the ever-growing college fund Bill had set up for their “baby” – and take off with the hella bling she'd gotten from him while she was at it. Hayley had another plan: Bill had to die! After all, there was that juicy $10 million life insurance policy just sitting there waiting to be collected!

Dude! I thought that was just a minor plot point that came up after Bill's stroke. But if that was part of the long-gaming, then kudos after damn kudos to this show. Hey – what if the stroke itself was Hayley trying to permanently fix the Fixer? I have to wonder now, looking back and viewing everything Hayley's done through this new lens. I am sitting up straight and the edge of my seat is lookin' squarely at my butt. S**t is getting good!

And the attention to detail! Randy offered to pop Bill...with the same gun he'd used to try and kill “Kenneth!” Righteous! Hayley couldn't be bothered with no jive-ass pea shooter that crapped out when it was most needed. She wanted Randy to find her some untraceable poison that would make Bill get sick slowly and die of “natural causes.” This is so Dynasty 1986, when Krystle's double Rita tried to off Blake the same way!

Hayley couldn't wait for the stuff Randy was going to procure to get there with Amazon Prime or whatever, so she “experimented” with something and mixed into a healthful cupcake for Bill's birthday, hoping he would blow out his last candle. Not one of Hayley's smoother moves. Bill has rejected dietary changes before; why not poison something super sweet so Bill definitely eat it but taste it?

Mrs. Hamilton reigned over Bill's fête, with stepdaughters Naomi and Chelsea in attendance. Out of his wife's sight, the crowned Bill switched the tainted treat with a regular one...and Naomi ended up taking a bite of the poisoned pastry! Hayley became animated – no, no, no, that one is for Bill! Good thing Naomi spit out the nasty-tasting cupcake...though this may come back to bite her later.

“If at first you don't succeed, try try again!” Hayley smiled – the others thought she was talking about her supposedly legendary baking skills (Dani apparently met Hayley while Naomi raved over her dessert dexterity!), but of course we know she was talking about “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (Kill Bill Remix)”. I guess Marquita Goings isn't long for this show then; surely Hayley's going to jail! Someone needs to, since Leslie, Marcel, and Joey are still running around free.

My body says yes but my mind says no

Before the party, Naomi went to Dani to talk babies in general, but Dani's no dummy – she immediately noticed that Naomi was glowing and asked, “Are you with child, child?” Naomi leveled a hell no and got so upset crying that not every woman was cut out to be a mother (truer words, Naomi), Dani had to scrape Naomi off the ceiling. Usually it's the other way around.

Convinced by her mom that she had to continue listening to her inner voice, Naomi came home to Jacob, who wanted to keep exploring the positive aspects of her pregnancy. Mrs. Hawthorne told Mr. Hawthorne more than once to back off! Jacob aptly replied that Naomi wasn't leaving any room for him and his feelings and desires, but she's also right – she shouldn't have a baby if she doesn't want one. What a mess.

Over at Orphey Gene's, June was counseling Samantha, who was upset that Nathan had stood her up because she wasn't “down to smash.” June told Sam she was better off without the horndog, then saw the glum Jacob taking a table. The subject stayed on kids, and June decided that Jacob would make a great dad! Just what Jacob wanted to hear, right? He noted that Naomi could be really regimented and wished she could better find joy in life's surprises.

Then Jacob finally asked the question a lot of us have been wondering for quite a while! Who's the daddy? Samantha and Tyrell's, that is! June would only say that the guy was gone and that he had been a part of a “family curse.” Ooh, nice way of answering without answering, GATES. If June's own dad had been like Jacob, she considered wistfully, she would have turned out a lot different!

Later, while Naomi was still trying to get the taste of the Terrible Awful out of her mouth (only it was a cupcake instead of pie, and poison instead of poop), Chelsea hoped her older sis had someone to confide in, the way Chelsea usually confided in Naomi. I don't know why Naomi couldn't tell Chelsea about her pregnancy precariousness, but Chels did get her thinking. Naomi went to Ashley!

Again, Ashley's wussiness about Derek and Andre drives me batty, but she's a good nurse – and a good friend. She listened as Naomi said she might be pregnant – first time we heard it phrased that way; I'm pretty sure Naomi has been listing it as a definite since she handed Jacob her Clear Blue Easy – and immediately agreed to administer the proper hospital blood test Naomi requested of her.

So...Naomi might not even be pregnant! And here's another possibility some of you have wondered about – what if Naomi got some of Hayley's poison into her system with that crappy cupcake and it shows up on the test? Or causes Naomi to miscarry? Naomi did spit the dessert out, but the poison also briefly made contact with her tongue, or she wouldn't have been able to taste it. Wouldn't that be something if that innocuous little birthday bite factored into all of this in a major way?

This brings us to the end of another Two Scoops, D.C. Edition. Blast off and transmit all your BTG thoughts the space station known as the comments below – and until next we meet, Scoopers, live your life beyond!

(Purchase Adam-Michael James' ”Bewitched” books on Amazon.)

(Listen to isletunes, AMJ's podcast featuring nothing but music from the artists of Prince Edward Island, Canada.)