Beyond the Gates is now young and restless

Are y'all ready to go Beyond the Gates? This week, Allison let yet another freak flag fly, Dani lost Andre to Ashley who ditched Andre for Derek, and Kat wasn't down with the second time around. Elsewhere, D.C. went G.C. as a tie was made between the Duprees and the Winterses of The Young and the Restless. And both the homeless June and the deceased Barbara left heretofore unknown legacies across the DMV! Let's fill up those Two Scoops and find out what happened inside and outside the gates of Fairmont Crest!
Old friends 4 sale
Vernon tried a sneaky-sneak outta the Dupree mansion, only for Anita to catch his not-quiet butt. The former senator told a story about having to prepare his college syllabus that had gotten buried under all the family hoo-ha, and later, Nicole made a joke to Anita that ol' trusty Vern would never step out on his beloved. What was going on there? Were we being set up for some Vernon vacillating?
Well, as I've learned through watching all 100+ episodes of GATES, not every story seed grows a tree, and that's perfectly all right. Let's just say I had gotten used to on-the-nose storytelling, and it's nice to get a delicious red herring once in a while. Anita told Nicole how unburdened she'd felt after giving the long-shelved Barbara her due, and psychiatrist Nicole made a nice comment about the importance of self-forgiveness. There's a message most of us could use.
After Anita remarked that she had added her proceeds from the Articulettes reunion concert to the kitty she had been amassing for Barbara's family, she eased on down the road to the country club, where who should unceremoniously ease on in but Devon Winters from Y&R! Had I not known the crossover was coming, I would have fallen on the floor in shock.
These first six months of GATES has been like watching a new tree stretch its roots further and further into the ground, stabilizing itself. And now, those roots have connected to those of another long-enduring tree called The Young and the Restless. Let's not forget: casting D.C. in the same universe as G.C. has other major implications...because B&B's Los Angeles is also part of that universe! Will Forrester Creations models soon be accessorizing with ChelseaKat purses?
I haven't actively followed Y&R for longer than I'm probably legally bound to admit, har har, but one-time foster kid Devon is now all growed up and running a record label in Genoa City. Once Devon and the Duprees reminisced about our unfortunately departed Neil Winters (the feels!), Devon revealed he had come to the capital to offer Anita a record deal making jazz albums like she used to in her solo days.
I was rather hoping! But Anita deferred to her family and suggested that Devon sign Sharon and Tracy to a contract – this following on her snagging a tour for them to make up for how they got done over when she left the Articulettes. Anita's own redemption tour is going well! And she might have been reading my mind, to a point: I had wanted the trio to do a tribute single about Barbara; Anita proposed re-releasing a single but adding Barbara's long-ago demo vocals to the new version.
Either one I will take! I hope we actually get to hear this song on the show. Devon's visit was uber brief but effective; GATES is now forever tied to the other two soaps on CBS' daytime lineup. Later on, Tracy and Sharon popped in on their way out of town to get Anita to tour with them, but La Dupree again begged off, and all the bad blood about Barbara was finally behind them for good. Or so I thought! Stay tuned...
Just go back and hit 'em up style

Dani understood not doin' the do after being all coo-coo about Hayley's miscarriage the night before, but when Ms. Dupree woke up to find Andre knocked out on his couch instead of snoozing next to her, she knew play time was over. Hadn't there been a reason Andre had called Dani over, only for Dani to use up all the oxygen in the room before he could say anything?
Yeah, Andre started in explaining how he had decided he wanted to try for something more permanent with Ashley...but Dani pretty much finished laying out the scenario before he finished. She knew that she couldn't give him anything more than a friends-with-bennies sitch...and that was essentially the end of it. Hold up! Didn't Dani more than once tell Andre how afraid she was of getting dumped by him the way Bill had put her out with the garbage?
You'd think, knowing that, Andre might have tackled the subject a little less bluntly. And what's going on, Dani? No flying fists? No firearms? Is our rootin'-tootin', weddin' shootin' Dani losing her touch? She was very gracious, and later only shared the most normal feelings of bummed-outery with Sissy the Shrink. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad Dani doesn't have to be scraped off the ceiling all the time anymore...she just appeared too calm.
As for the winner of The Andre Sweepstakes, Ashley notified Jan, who had come to apologize for butting into her daughter's love life, that her romantic travails were none of mama's business! I actually shouted in approval! But Jan's curls got tighter after she wished Ash luck with Andre...only for Ashley to announce that she wasn't going to c'est la viewith her mock Parisian paramour after all!
I guess watching Andre slobbering over Dani kinda killed the vibe for our nurse. Yet my approval ran out when Andre showed up with a framed print of his Paris photo that Ashley liked, and Ashley informed him that she had changed her mind about dating him – doing that soap thing of not telling him why. Oh, Ashley...you were just heading toward maturity and retreated into childishness. That's a B&B Ridge move!
Andre was all butt hurt, but that was nothing compared to Uncle Ted, who got served – and I don't mean with one of those vaunted Fairmont Crest country club mimosas. Nope, Nicole wanted him to sign on the dotted line that their marriage was ovah. And ya know what? I'm here for it! It was high time for her to defecate or get off the pot, and she really does seem as much lighter for having done it as she says!
Plus look at her, all out with Carlton again! Ted didn't like it, but the also-in-attendance Duprees told their about-to-be-ex-son-in-law that he wasn't s**t! Ooh, Ted sent some cards and flowers to try to heal things with his wife, when he's had over three months to make moves? Anita couldn't roll her eyes any higher, and frankly, neither could I. Maurice Johnson or Keith D. Robinson, the character of Ted is a wuss! Hey, at least Ted is consistent.
Nicole followed day dating Carlton with night partying, inviting Vanessa and Dani over to mark her very-much-your-fault divorce. The best party favor? Her wedding pic with a Post-It Note pasted over Ted's head! (Was that because the pic was still of Maurice's Ted? *wink*) When ordinarily stolid Nicole got up to shake her booty, Dani decided she liked this more sassy sissy. I do, too!
I also liked that the show had Nicole acknowledge her being a pain in the ass of late, wallowing in her hurt and indignation about all the secrecy and deception delivered unto her by her family...it was just that now, a new day was dawning. You go, girl! Meanwhile, Ted and Andre drowned their sorrows in their own party of the pity variety. I don't actually feel bad for either of these dudes. Especially Andre, who seemed to dodge a bullet!
Ashley and Shanice's dynamic was still a little tense, though their cattiness over Derek seemed to be mostly gone as they worked an otherwise slow evening together at Garland Memorial. But bam! Derek was suddenly wheeled in because, while training for his triathlon, he got all fancy and didn't slow down on a treacherous turn, flipping himself over his handlebars and slamming his lower back into a curb.
I knew we weren't hearing all this triathlon talk for no reason! But I soon realized things were heading in a place I didn't want them to go. To begin with, Derek already did the “I big man with hurt feelings so I do danger” thing early on when, while worried about Ashley's fascination with Andre, he ran into a burning building only to have a falling ceiling say hello. Props for Madison mentioning this previous concussion.
According to his firefighter buddy, who was hot enough to spontaneously combust on his own, Derek had felt like he didn't have anything to lose, and Ashley immediately realized it was because of having lost her. She did all kinds of conflict of interest stuff that both Shanice and Madison warned her against, leading Ashley to tell Derek that she loved him and had never gotten over him!
Soap gods preserve us! Is this relationship ever going to end? Derek was ready to move on, and Ashley had made the impressively grown-up decision to put dating aside for a while and work on herself. Now we've got her running headlong into another go-round with her moose head loving ex when just “yesterday” (in soap time), she was ready to trip the light fantastique with Andre. Oh. And Derek might be paralyzed. But I barely noticed.
Cool it now
I know it would be a stereotype to have everyone from Puerto Rico proficient in salsa dancing. But when Tomás treated Kat to a lesson, I honestly thought it was her who had the two left feet. According to their slightly stereotyped instructor, Santi, Tomás was the one who couldn't salsa his way out of a bag of Tostitos. Kat immediately caught on with Santi, who put Tomás down so much I'm surprised Señor Navarro didn't cancel his payment.
Unable to take anymore, Tomás cut in and was so hot on the dance floor that Kat decided to give him another chance in el dormitorio, if you know what I mean. Sure...Tomás sucked at salsa dancing until he got warmed up. Okay. Kat had been warmed up, too, until after her second try at being fly – confirming for herself that, at least for her, Tomás wasn't all that. ¡Imposible!
We don't know yet if Tomás is really boring in the sack, as Kat wondered to Chelsea, or if it's Kat who maybe has some kind of sexual problem. He seemed like a capable enough lover; for some reason, she could be frigid. (Do we still use that term?) But Tomás now knows Kat isn't fully about it...because he wanted to try for numero dos and she was all cool it, Casanova!
However, Eva...gets him. This was solidified when Tomás ran into her at Uptown and told her about the dancing class; the subtext was in Eva's comment that perhaps Kat was afraid of learning a new dance. Plus, it turned out Eva could bust out some sultry salsa moves with no need for instruction. I love our bratty Kat, but at this point Tomás and Eva seem like the better couple to me. Maybe Kat needs to stick to the snobby señors!
Cousin Chelsea had her own problems. Seems, somehow, distance has been developing between her and Madison. I think it's because of their schedules, but we never really delved further into it, because Allison flaunted herself at the country club. Apparently trainer Diego had gotten Allison a guest pass, but Chelsea was the most fiery we've ever seen her, ready to call FC management and have Ally alley-ooped.
Allison was there to present Chelsea with her connection to a startup social media platform that could somehow help ChelseaKat get off the ground. Chelsea told her X what to do with her tweets (see what I did there?), inspiring Allison to play the Craig card with her. How could Chels be so cruel given how supposedly wife-beaty he was being to her? Madison needed to take a call, but Chelsea rang Allison's bell but good.
Chelsea held to her advice that if Craig was abusing her, Allison needed to leave him and seek help, but Allison whined that Chelsea didn't care. Allison left – but then did a quick tutorial on “don't get mad, get even,” returning to fill Madison's ear with news of what a “selfish, two-faced bitch” Chelsea was. Madison would leave that awful, terrible Chelsea if she knew what was good for her!
But that was only because Allison and that awful, terrible Chelsea were meant to be together themselves! Madison got whiplash from the flip-flop, and her unofficial diagnosis of “unhinged” was not at all off the mark. Allison was going to show Chelsea what she was missing but soon! With these new CBS crossovers, will Allison soon be imprisoning Chelsea in Sheila's old Harry Houdini dungeon of 1995?
Then there's Hayley, who had no interest in Dani's condolences or apologies – this after Dani was genuinely remorseful about having anything to do with Hayley's miscarriage – who'd'a thunk it? Later, Hayley watched Dani and Bill reminiscing about when their daughters were young, and soon after, Hayley was ready to go back to the hospital and find out when she'd be able to conceive again.
Bill was happy that Hayley wasn't so deep in grief that she was willing to consider another try, but he didn't want her rushing into anything. So Hayley rushed over to a Dr. Macy (a nod to B&B?) and, after a quick exam, learned that she and Bill would indeed be able to attempt conception again...in three months. Hayley's body had to heal first. Isn't that nice? Some November sweeps nookie to look forward to!
But hold up! Isn't this all a distraction from the real issue here? Week before last, Hayley served us some “I really waspregnant” tea, which we don't even know was true. Did she miscarry, or did she just stage one when she got too deep into a fake pregnancy scheme? And how does she know Randy, who just randomly showed up in the Hamilton home this week? Gah!!! I need answers, dagnab it.
Parents just don't understand

Samantha must have watched some 2009 episodes of B&B on YouTube, because much like Steffy in that era, Sammy Sam stole her dad's phone and sent a forged text to the parent she wanted to see reunited with said dad. I don't remember how Ridge and Taylor reacted to it, but neither Smitty nor Martin were pleased with their daughter's deception. That'show you dad it.
Deciding that resistance was futile, the Richardson-Smiths eventually settled into a game night, but not before Tyrell was rude and Martin wanted to get in on the scolding, only for Smitty to snipe that “You couldn't tell [Tyrell was your son] from the way you've been acting the last two years.” “Facts!” Tyrell corroborated. In your face, Martin! Though oddly, it was Tyrell who eventually put an end to the cross-table crossness that he started.
Even though the fam jammed at playing cards, Smitty put his own on the table and told Martin he was worried about the kids getting their hopes up by virtue of the relatively normal night. Martin got huffy and said he wasn't expecting forgiveness from Smitty anymore, though when Smitty went to answer the door of what Martin spat was no longer his home, Smitty told Smarty Marty to knock off the guilt trips.
I am of course loving that Smitty is still holding Martin's feet to the fire – but I'm going to guess that won't be for much longer. You see, the guests on Smitty's door were Jacob and Naomi, who had just made a discovery sure to rock the worlds of the congressman and his reporter husband. Naomi somehow managed to lure Regina back to Orphey Gene's, but instead of banana pudding, she offered June's sister the birth certificates she'd found for June's children.
Regina, who had previously said she didn't want anything more to do with June or the Hawthornes shipping June, showed up at the diner with this little metal box she'd been harboring that had little trinkets of June's in it. And also a letter that Regina had found so confusing, she'd never read past the first paragraph. Naomi skimmed the rest of it and raced off with Jacob to find June, but first Jacob had his own revelation.
He couldn't muster up the same level of enthusiasm about June's state of play because of the probability that his father was a dirty cop. Oh, and had Naomi gotten any information about Martin from Vernon and Anita? Yes, Naomi replied, but because her grands had paid her a dollar, these deets were now in the category of attorney-client privilege. “You Duprees,” Jacob grumbled, with the indication that there would be much more talk about all this later.
I love how GATES plays one storyline but often underscores it with elements of other storylines instead of just pretending those unrelated threads don't exist until their next instance of screen time. Good work! When June was escorted into the diner, she acknowledged her funky memory but remembered that she had told Regina to piss off during their last encounter. And that wasn't the only thing she remembered.
When June saw her own letter, she had a kind of total recall that was at once heartwarming and a little convenient. But she had also blocked out the fact that she had called Child Protective Services on herself, which was how her kiddos, Ron and Cecile, had gotten carted away to the foster care system. Regina had always thought her sister had straight up abandoned the children; she now realized June had sent them away for their own good.
It seems June won't be homeless anymore, because Regina invited her over to at least stay the night. Aww! But we weren't done yet. Jacob used his cop connections to find out the particulars of Cecile and Ron's custody change, even though they had been given a home through a closed adoption. And guess who June's kids are? Samantha and Tyrell! They had either been given or chosen new names once Martin and Smitty adopted them!
So cool! But I have a question. Did Naomi not take a close enough look at those birth certificates? Surely she knows when Tyrell and Samantha's birthdays are through family gatherings and likely both digital and analog calendars. Even if she didn't pick up on the matching years, wouldn't the sharp lawyer have noticed the matching birthdays? Look, they don't call me Chronology Boy for nothing.
The Hawthornes knew the Richardson-Smiths needed to be told, which was why they showed up on Smitty's (not Martin's) door. The squabbling spouses found some tenderness between them, perhaps hanging on to each other for support as they heard about the homeless June; Smitty remembered finding out about her while he'd been doing a story about the foster care system...a day on which he had also met Ron and Cecile.
Naturally, the now near-adults overheard everything, and they were left to make the choice of whether or not they wanted to see their biomom – whom they'd last seen so drugged out that she'd gone out for groceries and returned with none, leaving the grade schoolers hungry. Tyrell wanted to forget June, but Samantha convinced him to help her get answers from the woman...with Tyrell warning that the truth could be worse than anything they had been told about her at the time.
A song for mama
June was ready to chuck the whole meeting and run off to who knows where, but Naomi sat her friend down and gave her a makeover, hoping she'd feel better by looking her best. June liked the results, and of course, this was the first time we'd seen her in anything but homeless duds. Miss June cleans up well! Naomi was determined that June see the appointment through; hell, at this point, Naomi has as much invested in it as June does.
Back at the condo, Smitty wasn't loving the idea of his kids reconnecting with their drug-addled mother. Martin was more open to it, yet when the moment neared, he began to worry that June could end up replacing them. Smitty found the silver lining in Samantha having manipulated Martin in coming over and was glad to hear that Martin was “in therapy” with his mother. Does no one else see that being treated by a family member is unethical?
Smitty also agreed to a temporary truce for the sake of helping the kids navigate their first encounter with June. I can already see this as a plot device to put Martin and Smitty back together. I agree they need to be there for Tyrell and Samantha, but I need for Smitty to ask Nicole how to get in touch with her divorce lawyer! Anyway, the moment came, and June arrived, and awkwardness abounded.
June started off by deadnaming her kids (that means referring to them by their given names and not the names they'd chosen for themselves), though I'm sure she didn't mean to. Why did Samantha and Tyrell end up with new names, I wonder? Was it their idea, or the Richardson-Smiths'? We weren't privy to that info, but we did hear more of June's story.
She'd gone even further down the spiral of drugs once she'd arranged for Ron/Tyrell and Cecile/Samantha to get better parents than her; she'd lost her apartment, and eventually, chunks of memory, thanks to being doped up all the time. This is a slight retcon, but a believable one: apparently June had gotten clean when she required heart surgery a few months ago, and because of that, she was able to start recalling more.
June was proud to hear that Samantha had become a spokesmodel and that Tyrell was at the top of his high school class – then she complimented Martin and Smitty on how well they had raised the kids, and on what a wonderful family they had become. Could they be a family who had room for her? Smitty was at a loss, but Martin decided he needed to move back in to help support the teens during this trying time.
Speaking of trying, even Smitty knew that Martin was trying it! Meanwhile, Samantha and Tyrell were having another confab about whether to have a follow-up get-together with June, and we last saw them telling their dads that they had come to a decision. Psyche – it looks like we won't find out what they have in mind until next week. But one way or another, June being tied to Tyrell and Samantha means she's not going anywhere – which is awesome. Besides, Jasmine Burke (June) is killing it!
Peaches 'n' cream

Leslie chucked her bills in the circular file but kept catalogues of fine clothes. Another piece of mail that got eighty-sixed was a letter informing Leslie that she was being bequeathed a sum of money. Eva thought Leslie should at least look into it, but Leslie wasn't interested in anything waiting at the end of a “fake-ass rainbow.” Even after Eva learned from Tomás that there was a chance the notification could be legit, Leslie scoffed, “And there is a chance I'm related to Barack Obama!”
The Thomas women got into a tussle because Eva was tired of Leslie acting all entitled and expecting her to funnel money into Leslie's account from Ted. It turned out that, not only had Leslie already blown through her $50,000 of extortion money and whatever “loan” Eva had had to take out on Leslie's behalf, but Leslie owed ten grand to one credit card! Eva snapped that her mom had probably spent all her cash on “an infinite supply of wigs,” and that was a howl.
Leslie finally called the number on the letter, and I was already worried when they identified themselves simply as “Law Offices” instead of there being a name of a firm. When this generic counselor also wanted Leslie's digits (SSN, DOB, etc.), Leslie not only hung up, but she chucked her phone across the room, and I really couldn't blame her. “Law Offices” didn't exactly present themselves as the real McCoy!
While Eva was out showing off her salsa moves to Tomás, Leslie got a visitor, who received the welcome of “sweet baby Jesus, no.” It was Peaches, the only identifier we got for her; she gave to Leslie as good as she got, and through the caterwauling, we discovered that Peaches was Leslie's mother. Except she kinda wasn't. No, Peaches was dying, and she was there to tell Leslie whose daughter she really was.
This was, as they say, all so sudden! Usually GATES doesn't come in so hard with a new story arc. For instance, Carlton expressed an interest in Nicole weeks ago, so when he began moving in on her, it felt natural. Same even with June being Samantha and Tyrell's mother; the kids had slowly started mentioning their off-screen mom, and June's sis Regina had begun talking about June having children; the connection was indirect enough that you had to sleuth it out, like fellow SOC writer Leigh and I did.
Peaches' arrival did give us a glimpse into a young “Dana,” who had been a sweetie as a girl but a hellraiser as a teen thanks to falling in with “alternative kids.” Leslie was actually sorry for nicknaming the woman who raised her “Peaches,” though we weren't told why the appellation, or what the lady's name really is. Nevertheless, the Peach Lady began telling Leslie about a friend of hers who had gotten pregnant despite adamantly not wanting a baby.
Because her nameless friend had also been depressed after a huge disappointment and was barely squeaking by laboring in minimum wage jobs, the women made a pact: Peaches, who desperately wanted a child but couldn't have one, would take baby Dana on the condition that they never seek the friend out. Peaches agreed, though she surprised Leslie by revealing that “Leslie” had been the name of her biological grandmother.
The usually precocious Leslie was humbled that her real mom had cared enough, even in ditching her, to give her a piece of her legacy through her middle name. But Leslie was speechless when Peaches announced that her friend had killed herself. Now...who else has been mentioned lately who committed suicide after a long bout of disappointment-related depression?
If you replied Barbara Mitchell, the founding member of The Articulettes whom Anita paid homage to at the concert, you'd be right! Barbara is Leslie's mother! And Eva's grandmother! And you know all that money that Anita had been setting aside for Barbara and her family? Guess who's gettin' it! As Leslie would say, ooh child! Plus talk about setting the stage for some battles royal between Leslie and Anita!
It's juicy AF. But hold both the landline and smartphone! Much as I am enthralled by mooring the otherwise rudderless Leslie into the canvas in this way, we should not be exploring Leslie's parentage right now. There is still the little matter of Leslie being the main suspect in running Laura off the road and trying to off the poor girl with a lethal dose of potassium!
Oddly, we are at a complete standstill with this part of Leslie's story, and have been for well over a month, since before the culmination “Kenneth”'s saga. Leslie has committed crimes and she needs to pay for them; it's not like this show to drop just major story points. There would have been nothing wrong with Leslie doing jail time only for Peaches to show up and convey all this Barbara stuff. Then Leslie could use her inheritance to task a hotshot lawyer with getting her released early on good behavior!
But this is where we are, and it's still tantalizing as all get out, so I'll take it. And this brings us to the end of another Two Scoops, D.C. Edition. Send some bouquets of opinions about Fairmont Crest to the comments below. And, if you want us to do up more Beyond the Gates content, say the word! Until next we meet, Scoopers, live your life beyond!
(Purchase Adam-Michael James' ”Bewitched” books on Amazon.)
(Listen to isletunes, AMJ's podcast featuring nothing but music from the artists of Prince Edward Island, Canada.)