One Week Is Too Long Without Fairmont Crest: Beyond the Gates Two Scoops for the week of July 7, 2025

That's what friends are for on Beyond the Gates

Are y'all ready to go Beyond the Gates? This week, Hayley crossed paths with Leslie for the first time, while Ashley was cruisin' for a bruisin' and the fussin' and fightin' on The Articulettes put their reunion show in danger again. Elsewhere, the not-dead “Kenneth” kept things hoppin' and Martin bringing in Marcel, off all people, for protection had Smitty on the warpath! Oh – and note to all higher-ups involved with this show...no more pre-emptions, okay? Let's fill up those Two Scoops and find out what happened inside and outside the gates of Fairmont Crest!

Off the wall

As we are 88 episodes in (they grow up so fast!), and we haven't seen hide nor hair of a Febreze bottle or a laundry basket festooned with Tide since June 10 (Episode 70), it would seem my product placement watches are now obsolete. I'm going to guess GATES emphasizing this P&G merch was just an experiment that they, hopefully, have decided didn't work. We get enough commercials without in-universe commercials!

Another issue I'm going to take with whoever came up with it was the choice to rerun this show's first five episodes week before this one...just when things were getting really good. After the expected March Madness and two unexpected soccer sock-it-to-me, last week's blackout was the fourth interruption since the soap started – and the longest. It just wasn't necessary.

All right, maybe the lure was to show people how GATES began...but they can watch those first eps on Paramount Plus. (Yeah, you gotta subscribe, but whatever.) Even though the show has already been renewed for a second season, and Entertainment Weekly has ranked it in its Top 25 shows of 2025, it's called momentum, and these stops and starts are killing it. Not to mention creating confusion. Don't do to this show what you're not doing to the other shows! It's not fair, and GATES is too good to deserve these too-often hiatuses.

Now! Let's talk about Leslie! Look at our girl, randomly having a chat with Hayley, if you can believe that! I love that, nearly five months in, we're still getting new combinations of characters in scenes. Our Ms. Thomas told our Mrs. Hamilton that they had boo-koo in common since they're both town pariahs, but Hayley wasn't about Leslie's suggestion that they rain hell on the Duprees.

Good for you, girl! Tantalizing idea, but Hayley's gonna be in enough hot water with Bill when she proves Dani right doing this fake pregnancy thing, but more on that later. Nicole might be a shrink, but by the time Leslie was done with her, Dr. R was ready to shrink Leslie's esophagus. Oh, Nicole got a few good ones in when she ran into Ted's long-ago mistress at Orphey Gene's, sassing that perhaps Leslie had so many murder victims she couldn't remember trying to off Laura. Gold.

But Leslie couldn't help taunting Nicole about her sexcapades with Ted, rubbing it in that Ted was rubbing it with her while Nicole was home boo-hooing over her miscarriages. Well, Nicole had enough and charged at the homewrecker, doing her best to wreck Leslie's trachea! Ted got there in time to stop his estranged wife from committing murder, and Leslie had a diner full of witnesses whoops.

Let's backtrack a minute! Didn't Nicole promise Laura she was going to be the one to discover who poisoned her? And didn't Nicole make a thing out of joining Kat and Mona in their search for evidence against Leslie? Nikki Nik hasn't done squatola to follow up on any of that. Instead, she snubs Ted while taking no action to divorce him and whines over Dani's hot-and-heavy with Andre. Let's see Nicole freshen up her roll or Imma bring out her Febreze myself!

Back at Ted's clinic, I'd thought that Kat had actually effected a sweet moment when, while training Eva, she told her new half-sister that she was going to make Eva look good if only so Ted wouldn't blame Kat for sabotaging her. So what did Kat go and do? Sabotage Eva! She made sure that Eva neglected to renew a vital certificate, but didn't she bring her own scenario into being? Because Ted did think Kat had something to do with Eva's error.

Eva saw through it right away as well and got into another verbal scuffle with Kitty Kat, telling the “brat” that she might just resort to her “crazy mama”'s methods to get back at her! Wouldn't that be delicious? Kat does rather have it coming, and while Eva's on a redemption tour right now, it would be interesting to see just what she's picked up from Leslie's larcenous example over the years!

But can we just talk about the latest psyche! with Leslie's case? First they couldn't ascertain she was on the hospital security video, then her jacket stuffed with on-the-evening receipts wasn't enough, then there was a 97.5% match of Leslie's DNA but that didn't cut it. Now the scratch on Leslie's helmet was verified to be on the helmet the motorcyclist who ran Laura off the road wore...

...and it's still not enough proof. No wonder Kat was torqued! We've had one too many fake-outs with this story now. It's time to bring Leslie up on charges. It's okay to put her in jail – she doesn't need to be written off; we can do a story with how she handles being behind bars. And imagine the juicy court case. You can only stretch out a story arc so long, and we've reached this one's expiration date. Let's move this along!

Blood on the dance floor

Oh, Ashley. You might have an IQ high enough to get into medicine, but your EQ (emotional quotient) is dropping by the day. She was the one who quiet quit her relationship with Derek because she spent her days thirsting for Andre...but the second Ashley saw Derek out with someone else, in this case the lovely Shanice (nice to see her out from behind that nurses station!), Ashley went into a full third grade pout.

Her snarkiness continued into the next day, when she chucked a tablet toward Shanice and gave her attitude all over the room! Um, Ash, you do know Shanice is your boss, right? Although I don't know why Shanice was having Derek do PT exercises right there at the station instead of, you know, in a proper treatment space. Y'all tried it, but that was silly.

Plus, Ashley mouthing off to her supervisor, telling her to shut up about her personal life, is gonna get her fired! I hope it happens! I've been wanting a story where Ashley has to wait tables at Joey's casino to make ends meet, then becomes a croupier on her way to going to the dark side working in Joey's escort service. Ashley needs something more interesting to do, and Jen Jacob would play the hell out of it. Surely that would be more gratifying as an actor than personifying a character with less maturity than the show's teens!

At least Ashley's still a good nurse, and her red flags popped out when Hayley arrived for a maternity follow-up, making noise about the positive results of her previous ultrasound. The one Ashley knows Hayley didn't have. This would be a fun story for Ash to get pulled into. Especially if she becomes an unwitting pawn in Hayley's scheme. Ash will have plenty of time, because this thing with Andre ain't goin' nowhere.

As soon as Dani sauntered in, tempered her one moment of rage, and insinuated herself into Andre's date with Ashley, with the lovers talking in code about the bumps in their relationship, it was game over. It was like Ashley wasn't even in the room. This was proven in the following episode when “Dandre”'s spat over Ash ended in bed, with Dani grinning that she had staked her claim. Ashley who? Girl bye, as the kids say!

Ease on down the road

Dani had some other interesting moments in the past week – one where she baked a sweet potato pie (Dani bakes?) as a peace offering to the Hamiltons, only to have both Hayley and Bill separately demand an apology from Dani for putting Hayley's pregnancy at risk. I understand why Dani was peeved. It's not like she punched Hayley in the stomach while calling her desperate and insecure.

As it currently seems Hayley picked that moment to have her “cramps,” it looks like she got the sympathy out of Bill she was hoping for. He told Dani she couldn't just come walk in “with a damn pie” after putting his baby in jeopardy. Dani reverted to her now-probably-true stance that Hayley was faking and hinted that she might have poisoned the sweet potatoes. Hey – she coulda done a “terrible awful” to her pastry like in The Help!

Later, Pamela sighed that her and Dani simply using their extensive connections in the modeling industry to get their agency off the ground wasn't doing it. They needed a bonanza – so Pammy suggested that Dani do the modeling herself! Dani wasn't about it, thinking she was too – yes, Pam, we don't use that word; that a personal motto of mine! But Dani at least agreed to consider it. You guys want to see Dani on the runway?

We may not see The Articulettes on stage, because after weeks of off-screen rehearsals in the Windy City, there was plenty of hot air to go around in their one scene. Anita felt their choreography was flat and dated, so she wanted to bring someone in to teach them slicker moves. And Sharon pitched a fit, with Tracy not far behind. Anita was just controlling them again like she had back in the day!

They accused Anita of telling them what to do instead of discussing it with them...when Anita had called them together to have a discussion about it. Sure, maybe La Dupree should have phrased it more as a “How about we do this” instead of “I think we should do this,” but I felt like there were overreactions all the way around. Not only did Tracy and Sharon pop off, but Anita outdid them by accusing them of spending her money and then dropping out of the show and they could just do what they wanted without her!

I thought Ashley had earned the title of Biggest Baby, but these divas all bypassed her by fathoms. I know things are charged given their past of Anita running roughshod over the others and bailing on them, but can they stop going to that well? They're supposed to have gotten past the ill will of the old days, or they're at least supposed to be professional enough to not let their pettiness endanger their show. Be divas in someone else's hotel room, please.

Back in the DMV, I'm jazzed to see same-sex relationship representation on this show, but I don't know that Chelsea's romantic travails needed to take up large chunks of two episodes this week. First Allison was back – why, I don't know. Isn't the real story in Chelsea moving on too fast and Madison clearly having some sort of agenda? Allison may have dissed Chelsea because of pressure from Craig, but the Chadison (Melsea?) pairing isn't strong enough yet to be bringing an interloper in.

Plus, Allison just gets more stalker by the minute. No matter how much Chelsea told her that she liked what she had with Madison (she even refused an open sitch because she didn't want to step out on Madison the way Bill had with Dani; you go, girl!), Allison only became increasingly desperate. Not to minimize Craig's alleged abuse, but running to anyone else, Ally, would only be an easy fix.

On Friday, Madison and Chelsea had another long getting-to-know at Uptown, which I felt was too stretched out. Chelsea finally did notice that Madison had once again turned the conversation to her without divulging much about herself; Madison's motives are what interest me here. But lo, the ladies spied Allison spying on them! I'm tellin' ya...there's gonna be some rabbits boiling soon, and not on the menus of any of our fictional establishments.

Man in the mirror

Vernon was shocked when Dani suddenly asked him if something was wrong with Martin as they breakfasted. Of course Vernon downplayed it, but Dani couldn't help but notice how on-edge Martin had been during Anita's stopover and that her nephew had stolen away for a secret confab with the patriarch. Dani seemed like she wanted to get to the bottom of it, but will that go anywhere?

After all, weren't Jacob and Naomi supposed to confront Vern with their own questions about why Martin seemed so spooked by Marcel? GATES is generally good about picking up the storyline bread crumbs they drop, but they do occasionally miss a few. Meanwhile, Smitty found out that Vernon had testified in an investigation against Marcel – on Marcel's behalf – and his radar went into overdrive.

Smits – who really needs to stop going to the station over and over where he can be seen by Elon and Marcel – dropped in to give the latest to Jacob, but found Elon instead. So the reporter pitched his questions to the police chief instead, and of course got nowhere. Elon was cheesed that Jacob kept talking to Smitty and soft ordered his son not to do that anymore.

Meanwhile, Martin came home wanting to know what Smitty was so hyped up about...so Smitty took a page out of Martin's book and totally deflected! He even took advantage of Tyrell's arrival to throw Smarty Marty off the scent! Good! Martin deserves it after pivoting every time Smitty tries to have a serious conversation with him. I hope Smitty ends up divorcing his ass. He's entitled to a better marriage than he's getting!

“Kenneth” had quite the journey this week – Randy was tasked with turning the guy into fish food but instead, he seemed like he pulled a Snow White. Remember when the huntsman in that fairy tale was supposed to get Snow's heart and bring it back to the Evil Queen to prove she was dead, only to fake her out with an animal heart and let Snow go? “Kenneth” appears to have gotten a similar break from the reluctant Randy.

Either that, or Randy's claim that his gun jammed while trying to get a second shot off at “Kenneth” was really true, and that's how “Kenneth” got away. Regardless, Randy came back to the casino and told Joey that “Kenneth” was dead...it was just that there might have been a witness. Joey decided Randy was “goin' to Disneyland!” (if you know the old commercial), but he soon found out that Randy had Mickey Moused with his finances.

Armstrong counted the cash used to punk “Kenneth” and saw that $10,000 of it was missing – at which point, Joey had Marcel find Randy (dude was at the airport; not the least incriminating move) and bring him back to the Lakeview at gunpoint. Randy made his explanations, but Joey was about to have Marcel whack the guy when the McBrides rushed in to save the day!

Doug had already gotten Randy out of a sticky situation at the casino and brought him to Uptown, where he and Vanessa heard how terrified Randy was of Joey. On the heels of that, the Mcs followed Randy and saw Marcel threatening bullets, so together, the strained couple came together to help their friend. And wow, for a flighty, oversexed cheat, Vanessa sure has some balls when the chips are down!

She looked Joey dead in his eye and said she and Doug were taking custody of Randy, promising him that Randy would disappear, just not as a corpse as Joey had been planning. Either that, or Vanessa would kill her shady dealings with Joey...and have her milkshake leave the yard. Joey tried to pull that whole misogynistic “handle your woman” thing with Doug, but Van-Van had all the men in the room cowed.

I've gotta hand it to her. And Joey did, too, because despite his later, private bluster to Vanessa about her staying out of his business from then on, he had to admit that she drove him crazy. Which we know, since he'd just fantasized about their second poker table encounter. Things happen in threes, I guess, because they ended up getting it on once again. Who knew – Joey can't resist a strong woman!

Seemingly randomly, June ended up in the hospital again, this time because she'd been beaten on the street. Naomi saw her clutching her beloved photo and called a phone number on it, only to get hung up on. But my question is this: was it random? Randy could have been telling the truth about someone witnessing his interaction with “Kenneth,” and June could have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. After all, June didn't need medical attention again for Naomi to notice that phone number!

You rock my world

Didn't Martin get a surprise when he came home and found Tyrell talking to his chess buddy...”Kenneth”! Jammed gun, mercy escape, or whatever, “Kenneth” was alive and not happy that he'd been lured to the casino with the promise of a payoff only to receive an invitation to a funeral – his. Martin barely held it together as “Kenneth” introduced himself as if they hadn't discussed the color of money before.

Tyrell felt embarrassed as Martin got “Kenneth” out of the condo faster than an errant spider, but Martin had the new chess enthusiast meet him at Orphey Gene's, where he swore he didn't know about the plan for “Kenneth” to bite the dust. That didn't matter to the now out-of-work busboy, who upped his take to $200,000 for the murder attempt and reminded Martin how easy it was for him to get to his family.

Martin raced home and put Tyrell and Samantha on the lockdown, only saying that his being a congressman – not to mention a Black, gay one – sometimes placed a target on his back, and on the family's. “We get it,” the teens told their pop, but...they didn't really. They whined about having to stay home and felt like Martin was overreacting, as usual.

Did these kids leave their intelligence locked up at school for the summer? They were adopted by Martin and Smitty a decade ago, and surely it's not the first time Congressman Richardson has been threatened, especially in today's climate. Yet Samantha and Tyrell cried that daddy was being unfair. They're usually savvy, but somehow they acted like they'd never had to be put under watch before.

With Martin running to Bill to let him know that “Kenneth” was running around alive, and Bill demanding that Joey “fix. This. Now!”, I can't help wondering how this unexpectedly inefficient group of rogue vigilantes are gonna deal with the guy, especially since he seems to know more real-life chess moves than Tyrell knows on-board ones. However shall we neutralize “Kenneth” now?

As I mentioned earlier, if Smitty would just stop coming by the station and meet Jacob in some secluded area, maybe Elon and Marcel wouldn't keep going on alert. Smitty emphasized that he needed to hit paydirt with his investigation, with Marcel hearing the part about dirt that he asked Smitty about. Mr. Smith not-very-subtly launched into some karaoke duel with Jacob and the fam, but Malone couldn't have bought it.

The skirmish did inspire Marcel to go into a song and dance about the deposits he'd made that Smitty was looking into. And while Malone's explanations seemed plausible...I can only hope Jacob didn't fall for them. Smitty thought they were awfully convenient, and intuited that, especially with Vernon involved, there had to be a helluva lot more going on than just some funny-looking cash stuffed into Marcel's bank. I like that Smitty is going full gangbusters into this. It's a lot more intriguing than watching him do laundry!

Remember the time

Jacob was on the same page with Smitty in terms of feeling that something huge and weird was going on, but it was in further discussion with the reporter than Jacob suddenly had a flashback of his own. He remembered it because it was the night of his detective exam...and because it was the same night that Martin had come home all freaked out. In his recollection, Jacob saw a plainclothes Elon getting the hell out of the station.

Thinking this was odd because no cop would be around the precinct unless he was in uniform, Jacob brought this bit of memory of Elon...who looked to be thisclose to telling his son what had really happened. But my adrenaline was not rewarded! Elon ultimately said nothing from that made sense...because there was nothing to make sense out of.

So close! Across town, Martin sent his kiddos into exile, after which he grabbed a baseball bat and was ready to turn “Kenneth” into a high fly ball. Having your extortionist turn up alive and demand more money must be exhausting, because Marty zonked out and had another version of his nightmare. The only new piece of info was a pre-surgery “Kenneth” (presumably; it still could have been his supposedly dead brother) coming upon the scene saying, “What do we have here?”

Martin nearly hit the ceiling when Smitty woke him up, and the congressman was so freaked out that it had Smitty begging him to finally tell him what was torturing him. And...Smitty almost did! AAAAAUUUGGGGHHHH! But he didn't! It was actually a super suspenseful scene, intercutting between Elon's almost confession and Martin's almost confession.

But geez, like Leslie needing to face justice already, it's time to finally stop letting the clues drip out – which admittedly have had me salivating – and tell us what the damn secret is already. Again, one can only drag out a story so long. There's plenty of places for this saga to go even if we know the full details. And I'm surprised Smitty keeps putting him with his husband's evasive bulls**t. Bradley, ya better have a divorce lawyer on speed dial.

Leave me alone

Case in point: the next day, Smitty wanted to pick up the conversation where Martin had gotten out of it...and bitch Martin actually pretended he was on an extended phone call to avoid him! OMG I just can't with this guy! I know Vernon told him to keep the secret at all costs, but this is getting ridiculous. Martin then took a step that was super unanticipated, and I'm not sure I understand his rationale, but...

...the guy called Marcel over and asked him to protect his family! And Marcel happily shook Martin's hand and agreed! Of course, I'm guessing the cash was pretty good, and we know Marcel is all about getting into his retirement with a surplus. I'm going to guess that Martin's not thinking clearly, because I can't imagine how he thought that this directive wouldn't at least get back to Jacob.

To be fair, I don't think Martin knows that Smitty has been working with Jacob. But when Smitty heard from Jacob that Martin had enlisted Marcel's protective services, Smitty was fully P.O.'d and ran out to confront Martin! Ooh, congressman, you in trouble now! Smitty, make sure you get the condo in the divorce.

In the meantime, Samantha, who was supposed to be confined to that condo, was somehow allowed to venture into the park. Ya know, the same park where Tyrell encountered “Kenneth.” And who should Martin see Sammy with when he followed his daughter into the greenery? (Nice outdoor shot, by the way; it sounded like we'd be getting those all the time when the show started, but nothing since the first week.) You guessed it! “Kenneth”! Samantha, you so stupid! And if that park has any tire irons, “Kenneth” is gonna need plastic surgery from Ted all over again...

This brings us to the end of another Two Scoops, D.C. Edition. Avail of yourself of the comments section below to tell us your opinion of the Fairmont Crest fun! And, until next we meet, Scoopers, live your life beyond!

(Purchase Adam-Michael James'” Bewitched” books on Amazon.)

(Listen to isletunes, AMJ's podcast featuring nothing but music from the artists of Prince Edward Island, Canada.)