Say it, don't spray it: Beyond the Gates Two Scoops for the week of October 27, 2025

The scent was heavy on Beyond the Gates

Are y'all ready to go Beyond the Gates? Nicole got scent-imental while Izaiah took flak because he wouldn't cop to being a cop. Derek had one move while Kat and Chelsea each thought the other could be doing better in their relationship. Finally, Hayley got hit with two bolts of X-ray vision while Samantha would do anything to score a touchdown! Let's fill up those Two Scoops and find out what happened inside and outside the gates of Fairmont Crest!

Still smell like it

All right, let's just lay it out. Commercialism has been a thing ever since TV started. That's why we're willing to sit through tons of ads (though every other one being a pharmaceutical spot gets on my last nerve) as part and parcel of our favorite shows – in this case, soaps. But one thing Beyond the Gates has taught us is that there are product placement lines that definitely shouldn't be crossed.

When Nicole started spraying her Febreze around in early spring, it was almost cute in kind of a wink-wink-nod-nod kind of way. But by the time Naomi was spilling chocolate pudding on her pillowcase and telling us how awesome Tide was, the hairs on the backs of most of our necks stood up. It was a breaking of a fourth wall that felt forced, tacky, and just out of place on any show.

That was in April, and thankfully somebody seemed to listen to our collective groans, because we went all summer and into fall without characters casting themselves in wannabe commercials. This past Monday, Nicole whipped out her Febreze again, which hey, why not. But on the show's Halloween, on Thursday, Nicole sprayed testimonials along with her Pumpkin Roll!

Having Nicole sing the praises of Febreze to Vernon was just too much. You wanna stick a bottle of something in the frame, go for it. You wanna show a character using a product? You do you. But for the love of everything soapy, please knock it off with stopping our stories to have someone talk about how awesome air freshener, laundry detergent, or any other real world item is. How about this: shoot a separate commercial with a GATES character on set! That's what they used to do on Bewitched when Samantha hawked oats or Chevrolets!

Moving on. Nicole was doing her best to transition into her post-Ted era, but she just couldn't be sure doing that with Carlton was the right thing. Vernon posited that Nicole's hesitation might be because a new involvement felt scary after her marriage to Ted went nuclear – and Dani deemed the Ted/Carlton friendship/partner thing a non-issue, advising Nicole to point Ted to the Department of Who Gives A Flying Fig!

Dani's dialogue is Fort Knox level of gold. I'm of two minds, because I get Nicole not wanting to rebound, but GIRL! It's Carlton. With Dani's nudging, Nicole asked Carlton out, but as they later did some pre-date flirting, Ted came upon the scene and got all up in his jealousy. Carlton broke off some truths for him, and Ted retorted that those wouldn't hurt as much as Ted's fist going upside Carlton's head!

Oh, Teddy boo. Like Carlton couldn't wipe the hospital floor with your wussy ass. Nicole, on the other hand, was embarrassed to be fought over in public and cancelled her evening with Carlton. Why punish him? Ted started it, and Carlton only came to your damn defense, Nicole. You should have been Febreze-ing the bedsheets in anticipation instead of spraying Carlton with its Disappointment scent.

Carlton even apologized – which was enough for Nicole to admit she wasn't ready to date yet. Now, at least that was mature, and honest. As well as totally understandable. Nicole also didn't want Carlton putting his life on hold while she navigated her new normal, but he was willing to stick around for a while and see what happened. I'm telling ya...I am liking Narlton more and more all the time!

As for Ted, he ran into Leslie, who had just descended on Fairmont Crest in her not-at-all-ironic angel costume. As expected, Leslie sassed Nicole and even made off with a heaping handful of her Halloween candy. Unexpectedly, things got super chill between Leslie and Ted, with the former waitress's former lover seeing flashes of “the old Dana” as they talked. Could it be possible for them to be friends, he wondered?

I would never have thought that myself, but it does seem to be the direction in which we are heading. Would it be so bad? For Leslie to finally have some kind of relationship with Ted, it would mean, on top of inheriting those many bajillions, she'd actually have everything she wanted. Which I hope would be the cue for her to lose absolutely all of it.

The show let us know that they haven't forgotten about Leslie being a suspect in nearly killing Laura twice – in the form of Leslie suddenly, and very much out of the blue, bragging about how she had donated her motorcycle jacket to charity. Even Ted called that out as getting rid of the evidence. Leslie seems poised to have every heart's desire fulfilled...which could be Soapspeak for her finally getting her comeuppance!

Elsewhere, Ted decided it was time for Eva to start calling him “Dad,” and she didn't know where to look upon receiving the offer. She was so moved, pretty much all she could do was cry silent tears. Ambyr Michelle delivers those so well – did she learn from Katherine Kelly Lang on B&B? Eva accepted, and Ted vowed to get back to integrating her into the Richardson family, especially with the holidays coming up.

Leslie had sought Ted out at the hospital simply to thank him for taking Eva out to breakfast, but when she found out that he wanted their daughter to address him as “Dad,” Leslie became emotional, saying Eva had longed for that her whole life. Instead of draping herself on him like she usually does, Leslie offered him a genuine hug – which Nicole saw. And we should care...why? She's got Carlton and is moving on! Let Leslie have Ted already!

We are family

Eva did the rare thing of skipping meal taking with Leslie in favor of hanging out at Uptown, where Izaiah just happened to walk in. The Iz reported that his job interview at Banneker University had led to an offer of employment – but he was on the fence about taking it owing to there being “someone” to consider. That someone turned out to be Yolanda, a girl with whom Izaiah had just broken up.

Aw, man. Couldn't Izaiah just have been free and single? Why did we have to bring him in as rebound territory? He and Eva clearly have chemistry, and she deserves more than another heaping helping of sloppy seconds. Anyway, before that even factored in, Kat showed up and decided she needed to be Izaiah's personal town crier, spilling every gallon of Eva tea and warning her cousin's sister's husband's brother off of Ms. Thomas.

Chelsea later heard about this and thought it was a step too far – and I have to agree. Kat flexing on Tomás is one thing, because she met him first, and they were involved first. And okay – I can see her wanting to protect her family and extended family, which is big with her. But it also seems like Kat just doesn't want Eva to have any good thing happen whatsoever. And that makes her hella petty. Like we didn't already know that's what Kat is, but it was especially grating here. Girl, you got Tomás and his broken D. Stay in your lane!

We knew from the previous week that Izaiah and Jacob are brothers. So it stood to reason that we would soon see Izaiah with at least one other Hawthorne – and we did, in the form of Elon, through whom we learned that Izaiah had gotten mixed up with gangs and had been arrested once, or possibly more than once. However, Izaiah had cleaned up his act with college degrees and academic service, which wasn't good enough for his police chief dad.

No, Elon had an axe to grind because Jacob, and his other, off-screen brother Luke, and even their mama Darlene, were all on the force...and Izaiah wasn't. What is this, 1950? Elon considers Izaiah an outcast because he didn't take over the family business? If Elon hadn't later told Joey that he would do anything for the kid, I'd have wanted to slap Elon into the middle of next week. Too bad he can't actually show Izaiah that vulnerability.

The “Kenneth” Chronicles may not stay buried for long, either. Jacob and Elon got into a spat over how the senior detective had killed the investigation of the body in the park, and, when Izaiah saw Eva again, he said that his brother, who had a long history of idolizing their father, clearly had gone sour on the guy. Intrigued, I am. Hell, Jacob still doesn't know that Naomi knows the Stance Park stiff was “Kenneth!”

Yolanda had blown off Izaiah's most recent attempt at communication, and Eva could tell that Izaiah was back at Uptown for some serious rebounding. That didn't stop the sparks from flying between these two, but Tomás might have put his now-requisite ice pack right on Eva and Izaiah's mojo. He let Eva know that he had heard from Kat that Jacob, the 5-0 who had tried to arrest Leslie for Laura's assaults, was Izaiah's brother! Whoo! Told ya justice is comin' for Leslie! Should be interesting to see how this affects Eva and Izaiah going forward, though.

Wheels keep spinning

Anita got the gang together and decided she wanted to dedicate the Dupree Foundation's annual Winterfest to Barbara and direct its proceeds toward providing mental health services to musicians. Dani and Nicole loved the idea! The amazingly present Laura did, too, but...what if, as Barbara's daughter, Laura uh-oh'd, Leslie either wanted to swoop in and control the whole thing, or just quash it altogether?

La Dupree considered this for a moment but decided to forge ahead anyway. Next on the agenda: Dani proposing that one lucky auction winner be granted a private luncheon with The Articulettes! Ooh, that could be cool. Also cool was Anita mentioning that Tracy and Sharon were still on tour. And Nicole half-jesting that Anita impersonator Jackie Tyree emcee! Why do I feel like we haven't seen the last of the lisping doppelgänger?

I just can't with Derek anymore. All he does is try to get up out of his wheelchair only to be almost caught by Ashley, plus flex with Andre, marking his territory about Ashley. And given that Ashley got all stressed out when Derek started pushing for wedding dates, I think we're still in the same place we were when the Dashley saga started eight months ago. I'm done. Please split these two up and give them something else to do.

Vanessa's story didn't really move along – I was hoping she'd take Joey to her place and that Donnell, who supposedly left for college, actually didn't and went back to the house, only to find his ho mama getting freaky with his new surrogate dad. But no such luck; instead, Vanessa got hot under the collar over Dani's concern about Joey. And why Dani said she threatened to come after Joey with her gun when she actually didn't, I don't know.

Dani inexplicably seemed to join Team Joey when Vanessa waxed orgasmic about how awesome the sex with him was. So much for Joey being dangerous, right, Dani? Vanessa then did something very stupid. She told Dani about her plan to rule at Joey's side. Why would she implicate herself like that? I used to kinda like Vanessa, but now the dumb blonde jokes are writing themselves.

Just cruisin'

I'm glad that Tomás's peen didn't, er, bounce back immediately like so many other soap ailments – though I think a broken third leg might be a first for any soap. Can you just see it on Y&R: “Nikki, you have caused injury to 'The Greater' Victah Noomin!” Tomás couldn't live the limping down, as both Bill and Chelsea poked fun at him...and Kat, well-meaning as she was, tried to prime him with rejuvenating vitamins.

I understand that she felt bad for whatever it was she did causing him suffering, but Tomás was tired of that being all he and Kat even talked about. After he nearly begged Kat to pull a Frozen and let it go, Kat became witness to a spat between Chelsea and Madison. Apparently Chelsea, again well-meaning, followed through on her decision to bring Madison and her mother together, which Madison did not appreciate at all.

Poor Madison had to also suffer the indignity of delivering detailed exposition to not only Kat, but later Nicole, relating to the whole lowdown with her mom. We didn't really get anything new out of it ourselves outside of the fact that mama Willow liked Chelsea and offered to do up her birth chart. The one nice touch was that Madison had been concerned about blowing up at Chelsea because of her still recovering from her Allison-induced PTSD.

Nicole seems to be at her best when she's head shrinking, and though she praised Madison's sensitivity toward Chelsea and her ordeal, she also noted that Madison needed to be sensitive to herself by honoring her own feelings and needs. Good call. Meanwhile, Chelsea saw how Kat's gift of vitamins had bruised Tomás's ego, and Kat saw how Chelsea had gone too far trying to fix the Madison/Willow divide. Interesting that they each took the other's partner's side in these dilemmas!

Oh – bonus points for Joey actually suggesting to Elon that they groom Jacob to be Marcel's replacement. Elon nearly had a coronary right there in the Lakeview back room! I did think Joey was serious, but he was only joshing – and suggested that the practically hyperventilating Elon add more fiber to his diet. Lawd, can you imagine Jacob somehow being brainwashed to join Joey? If this was GH, they would do it!

“Hot in herre”

Hayley had long made noise about being accepted in Fairmont Crest – though now we have to wonder how much of that was just part of her making her cover story more convincing; why do I get the feeling that revealing Hayley as a scammer was a later addition retcon? – but it seems the one country club member Hayley doesn't want to be anywhere near is Leslie.

I seem to recall Leslie attempted to team up with Hayley once before, at Orphey Gene's, but the Dark Angel decided to try again, cozying up to Hayley in plain sight of Dani and Nicole. Leslie had nothing but bad things to say about Bill and didn't think Hayley would mind joining forces with her if it meant raining down hell on the Duprees...but Hayley basically didn't want to be seen in the same airspace as her.

That's when it got interesting. Leslie grinned that she could see through Hayley's “Sunday school act.” Hmm, is that an indication that it takes a bulls**tter to know a bulls**tter? Consider me engaged. Hayley didn't do a very good job of throwing Leslie off the scent, just about squirming in her seat. Guess Hayley doesn't function well while in the presence of someone who could give her away.

Hayley did, however, find a clever way to use the encounter to her advantage. Though we didn't see Hayley further poison Bill this week, we have to assume he's still getting regular doses, and that he's going to collapse any day now. Hayley reported seeing Leslie, adding to Leslie's distaste toward Bill by tacking on that she had threatened to ruin him. There was something in her eyes, Hayley said in fear!

You know where this is going, right? When something happens to Bill – and you know it will, and soon – Hayley will ensure that Leslie is blamed. Given that Leslie has already been suspected of poisoning Laura with that extra strength dose of potassium, there are few who wouldn't believe it. Could Leslie's inevitable, much-needed downfall happen at the hands of Hayley, of all people?

Again, Hayley doesn't seem to do well around other schemers. She ran into Joey at Orphey Gene's, and he immediately informed her that he knew everything about the affair she was having with Randy. Of course, Hayley couldn't have known that Randy fibbed about sleeping with her to cover her presence at the casino. Unfortunately for the cousins, they didn't corroborate their stories, and Hayley burst out laughing at the very thought of cavorting with Joey's employee.

That I could have understood, but then Hayley became indignant and insisted that the only casino worker she knew was “Sammy.” Why would Hayley tell Joey that? Surely he knows there's no “Sammy” on his payroll. She should have just gone along with the affair story and then gone to Randy somewhere else besides the casino or Uptown and been like “What the hell, cuz?” Because now Joey knows something's up. Hayley better hurry and off Bill before Leslie and/or Joey catch on to her.

Though her delay – and repeated chance-taking – certainly upped her portfolio, didn't it! Hayley stupidly scrolled through St. Barts beach houses, looking toward her post-Bill life...and Bill came home in the middle of it! She at least admitted she was scoping out beachfront property, but added the pivot that she was thinking of a vacation home for the two of them.

And before you could say, “I'm poisoning your ass,” Bill whipped out his virtual checkbook and slapped down an offer on the crib...which was accepted! And the cherry on top was his putting the house in Hayley's name! No one can say she's not scoring some major bling as Bill's wife. I have to admit, I'm looking forward to finding out what Hayley's real name is!

Let's talk about sex, baby

Living on the streets isn't a fate you'd want to wish on anybody, but it's certainly a school that teaches, the hard way, how to suss out potential threats and hustlers. June's radar seemed to be on overdrive as Samantha suspiciously showed up at the diner during school hours and got together to work on a school project with Nathan, who looked to anyone with eyes to be more interested in kissing than education.

Samantha was down with it, but June sure wasn't. After June (can we get her last name?) spent enough time observing, she brought Nathan his milkshake, only to “accidentally” spill it near his crotch. Jasmine Burke gave a delightful performance as June “aw shucks”ed her way through an “apology” over her “clumsiness,” sending the literally iced out Nathan on his way.

June implored Samantha to have higher standards, very much picking up on Nathan being a “skankarooni,” as Nicole once said. Samantha was suddenly not into her biomom and pouted that at least her dads didn't assault boys she liked. Oh, Sammy Sam. You just wait. This girl is in serious need of an ABC Afterschool Special. Or Dr. Ruth coming back from the dead to talk to her about “good sex!”

Knowing Samantha was nearby grabbing menus at Uptown, Kat made the careless mistake of getting into sex talk with Chelsea. It's not like the teen was so far away that Kat shouldn't have realized she could be heard, or like Kat had brought the decibels down as she giggled that she shouldn't have waited so long to have sex with Tomás. Chelsea didn't help by hailing Kat's journey from “virgin to sex goddess.”

The cousins backtracked when they realized Samantha was in earshot (duh), trying to explain that commitment and communication and all that was more important than sex. But Samantha had already honed in on the part she wanted to hear: she needed to have sex with Nathan so that he would like her. She couldn't get Nathan into the brownstone fast enough, and fast was certainly how she was behaving.

The one thing I have to give Nathan credit for is that he asked, more than once, if Samantha was absolutely sure. Still, you have to wonder about any high school boy who carries condoms around in his backpack. These teens both had the “young” and “dumb” parts of the triad down as they foolishly made out on the living room couch...where the returning Martin and Smitty saw the writhing as soon as they entered.

Both Samantha and Nathan got their stories crossed, but none of that mattered once Martin found the still-wrapped condom on the floor. From there it was game over, and after Nathan was summarily ejected from the house, Samantha found herself grounded and made to hand over all her devices. You'd never know portrayer Najah Jackson is 30, because she had the whiny teenager schtick down pat.

Sam complained that she'd have to do her homework on a chisel and that she might as well wear an orange jumpsuit for as much of a prisoner as she was. Especially when Tyrell, who had not tried to bone right there on the couch, was allowed to attend a Halloween party with the back-on-the-scene Jessica. Why couldn't she have sex? Samantha griped. Smitty and Martin got it on all the time!

While Samantha moped in her room, Smitty told Martin that he understood why teens were so sexed up – it wasn't like the songs they themselves had grown up with weren't laced with it, and the same went for The Real World! Random ancient MTV mention? Maybe – but it was also a nod to the fact that Smitty alter ego Mike Manning appeared on that show in 2009 and 2010! I see you, GATES, slipping in that Easter egg in time for Halloween.

Samantha should be glad Tyrell has her back, but her actions indicated otherwise. Her bro outright told her that Nathan's locker room talk was almost totally comprised of how many girls he was having sex with. Samantha looked cowed, not having known that. But then she tricked Tyrell into listening to a new jam on his headphones only so she could play it for him on his phone...while using it to text Nathan.

This came back to bite Samantha – or at least, it will – when Tyrell and Jessica bumped into Nathan at a pre-party thing at Orphey Gene's, where they specifically heard Nathan boasting about how he wanted to add Samantha to his “body count.” When Jessica called Nathan disgusting, and Tyrell stepped in on Samantha's behalf, Nathan scoffed that Tyrell was so stupid, he didn't know Samantha was texting him with his own phone. Clever, Sam, but easily detectable; you are soasking for trouble.

Nathan didn't like Tyrell getting up in his face and was ready to rearrange Tyrell's, but our chess master checkmated Nathan by standing his ground, which got Nathan off his case and Jessica all hot and bothered. She couldn't stop kissing all over the knight in shining armor. Let's hope Tyrell doesn't wind up having sex with Jessica any time soon, because that will only prove Samantha's point. Chess players have patience, Ty!

The wheels in Samantha's head were still turning as she tried to come up with an end run around her fathers. She needed to talk to a woman, she decided – nice parallel to when she wanted to talk to June about Nathan before. Only this time, she wanted to conference with Nicole – it was just she'd need her phone back to contact her. You tried it, girl – Pop and Dad saw right through the attempt and escorted Sam to Nicole themselves.

Nicole was alarmed when Samantha expressed a desire to live with her instead of her awful fathers – thankfully, instead of spraying Febreze to make things better, Nicole stuck to psychiatry and let Samantha know that her approach to sex was backwards, based on what Samantha revealed about her exploits. You don't have sex with a guy first and then become his boyfriend, she said. Oh, Nicole. Where were you in 1992.

Grandma Pumpkin Roll then got out of Samantha that she had initiated the condom unrolling, and that she had been motivated by Kat being extremely sex positive. That didn't sit well with Martin, who popped his head in to find out if anyone wanted cocoa and discovered that Kat had delivered the marshmallows. Then Nicole nixed Samantha becoming her roommate, causing the teen to mutter, “worst Halloween ever.” And whose fault is that, Sam? You ain't gonna see a Halloween party 'til 2029 at the earliest!

This brings us to the end of another Two Scoops, D.C. Edition. Spray whether or not our soap makes scents in the comments below – and until next we meet, Scoopers, live your life beyond!

(Purchase Adam-Michael James' ”Bewitched” books on Amazon.)

(Listen to isletunes, AMJ's podcast featuring nothing but music from the artists of Prince Edward Island, Canada.)