The elephant in the room

by Nita
For the Week of July 10, 2006
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The elephant in the room
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It was rather amusing to hear Nick tell Phyllis that having a baby wasn't the way to save a marriage.

First, a moment to apologize for the late column. With an extremely active 22 month old in the house, along with an equally busy 16 year old basketball player, our summer schedule is bursting at the seams. Sometimes sleep or exhaustion comes for me whether I'm ready or not.

But back to the elephant in the living room. Those are the words that came to mind as I sat down to pen this week's column. With Phyllis representing the elephant plopped in the middle of the living room rug. How much more Phyllis can I possibly be expected to bear? Believe it or not, I really, really, really wanted to talk about someone else this time. Because I'm about as tired of talking about this overexposed character as you probably are perusing my harping words about her and as I am looking at and listening to her. I know she and Nick are supposed to be the tastiest thing since sliced Wonder bread. But do we have to have a sandwich every single day? At every single meal? It seems as if she's been front and center for months. And there are probably at least two more weeks of Phyllis-focused attention ahead. And that will only get us to the big reveal. Then there's still the other four months or so of pregnancy to slog through. Don't get me wrong. I think the actress' talents are as good as her perfect body. No one could ever accuse her of being just a pretty face. But am I the only fan whose beginning to dread pushing the play button on my VCR remote because I know I'm about to tune in to the Phyllis Abbott hour? And once I do, how can I just pretend the elephant is not there when I keep tripping and falling over its thick, sturdy trunk? I can't, of course. With that being the case, unless I want to go off topic, something that would definitely bore me as well as all of you, I can only write about the material I've been given. Which is comprised of Phyllis, Phyllis, and, yes, you guessed it, more Phyllis. So here goes.

So the hot crossed buns had to sneak away to Michael and Lauren's place to murmur sweet nothings in each other's direction. What a pile of smelly cow pies. Heck, the little that had to be said could have easily been covered in a quick phone call with their respective office doors closed. Of course, then all that hair flipping and seductive sidelong eye contact would have been for naught. And just think, life would not have been the same for us had we not seen and heard all about Phyllis' swollen, giggle, giggle, flirt, flirt, feet. Hmmm, well, I guess my feet would swell too if I had them wedged into five inch stilettos.

It was rather amusing to hear Nick tell Phyllis that having a baby wasn't the way to save a marriage. I don't know about that, but it certainly seems as if it might be an excellent way to end one. At any rate, Mr. and Miss Hot to Trot continued to leave Sharon out of the need to know loop, plotting and planning DNA testing behind her back. Once again the two are grinning with the bottom row of their teeth while lying fiercely through the top. What is Nick waiting for? Obviously he's so enamored of his paramour he can scarcely see straight. So why doesn't he just put us all out of our misery (fans would have their super couple and foes would be spared daily dollops of watching them yearn for one another) and go for her. Then we could all see just how hot they would remain once the forbidden fruit had all been plucked from the tree and they'd reached their happily ever after. Of course I don't speak for anyone else but me, but I bet watching a panting couple repeatedly rip at one another's clothes would get old and uninteresting pretty fast. Familiarity, as they say, might not immediately breed contempt, but it would surely cool that fire considerably. Then what will these two who, in my opinion alone, have little more in common than the mutual love of video game playing, possibly do next? Bicker over business perhaps?

Moving to one of the unwanted partners of hot and hotter, I know many fans believe the once baking blaze between Nick and Sharon is nothing but cold, dead ashes, with nothing left with which to create a spark, but that could all be perception. Many of us have been watching this soap opera game a long time. We know how it works. First, we must have music. You know the kind I mean. It's soft, it's romantic, it strikes that special chord that seems to reach in and tug right on your heart strings. I call it the beloved couple croon. Only special couples get music every time you see them together. The other, less than beloved couple, well they get silence or one of those tunes that only gets on your nerves. Next, the players must be prepared. One female often develops a strident, annoying screech to her tone. The kind no man would want to come home to. It helps if that same someone habitually maintains a somewhat sour look on her face. The hair must look a bit unkempt too. And she, of course, has to commit an act that immediately makes her unlikable and nearly immune to sympathy. By contrast, her competition begins to speak in soft calming, reasonable tones, her hair is always smooth, she invites sympathy with her woe is me, my burden is heavy, but look how I'm bravely lugging it alone, tone, and soon, in spite of your prior and complete knowledge of said competition's spotted, sometimes near murderous past, you begin to believe that she has never done another an unsavory turn. In fact, butter probably wouldn't even melt in her mouth.

All that to say that perhaps the thrill between Nick and Sharon is not quite as gone as it's been made to seem lately. All it will take is for Nick to let that million dollar smile of his reach his eyes when he looks at Sharon, and those same eyes could then devour her the way he used to when she paraded before him in all those scanty little lingerie sets and it could be just like it used to be between them. After all, until Michael's sparsely attended little bachelor soiree (with one bachelorette who didn't jump out of a cake and smoked cigars), when Nick looked at Phyllis, there was nothing much of anything in his eyes. And that was after they supposedly bonded so deeply during their California caper.

Of course, despite my irritation from being oversaturated with Phyllis, I'm not taking the stance that Nick and Sharon's union must remain undisturbed. Ten years is a very long time in the la-la land of soap believe. So I'm not saying it's not time for a change or that said change wouldn't be good. Of course, that would mean we'd need at least one more man on the Genoa City canvas. The waters of these ponds have been muddied enough. No more of the near incestuous flip-flopping of lovers. If Sharon is going to move on from Nick, let it be with someone other than Brad, a man who's been in everybody's bed but mine. At the moment, that only leaves Jack, if Phyllis ends up with Nick. And my fingers are crossed we won't go there!

Anyway, moving on. With so much on air time, every now and then Nick and Phyllis had to occasionally head for hair, makeup or wardrobe, and thankfully in their absence a few more residents were allowed to recite a line or two.

Lauren was one of those lucky residents. Wow, the way Phyllis has been written to hog all the screen time, you would think there was only one pregnant woman in town. While her hubby concerns himself more with the contents of his ex-lover's belly than the wee babe growing in his wife's, poor pregnant Lauren soldiers bravely on, apparently unaffected by morning sickness and swelling feet. By the way, doesn't the swollen foot thing typically come near the end of the pregnancy rather than the start? Much as I like Michael, his blind loyalty to all things Phyllis is beginning to annoy and aggravate. What was the reason for his nasty tone with Nick? Because Nick didn't dump his wife and son the second he discovered Phyllis had stored her special cookies in two different cookie jars and now can't tell which is which? It wasn't Nick's fault Phyllis raced for the nearest strong male shoulder instead of shedding her salty tears in her pillow like most other broken-hearted women would have done.

But I was talking about Lauren, so let me haul myself back. I so enjoyed what she had to say to her husband, I could have rushed to the screen and kissed her likeness. Yes, she's friends with Phyllis, but I don't blame her for not wanting to be in the middle of the hot, smelly mess she and Nick have made. She was right to scold Michael for his rush to catch Phyllis before she fell flat on her rear. I know Lauren and Michael have now become this old married couple, but I still find them interesting and wouldn't mind at least occasionally getting to see them enjoy this special pre-delivery time in their lives. Have we even seen Lauren walking around with her hand on her belly like most Genoa City moms-to-be often do? And I can't remember, and I'm too lazy to go look up the stages on the internet, but isn't it time for a little movement in there? When are we going to see Michael's look of awe and joy when he feels his son or daughter move for the very first time? And what about that black and white grainy ultrasound pic of the mound of baby? Did they get one of those? Why isn't it framed and mounted on the living room wall?

Neil Winters also got a turn before the lens, although I confess I'm disappointed in the direction he appears to be going. Must infidelity must be the name of every game the people of Genoa City play? Have they not heard of Life, Scrabble, Jeopardy, Monopoly? Yes, we know Neil is still ticked at his bride for the secret she kept. We can tell by the rude way he speaks to her on the phone. And also by the way he keeps inviting Jezebel, I mean Carmen, into the family cave. And what, pray tell, has happened to Ms. Mesta anyway? I guess after breaking her own golden rule of no merging of business and pleasure fluids with her break-room boink with now always smiling Jack, she must have tossed the rule book in the break room trash bin on her way out. And by the way, my head is still spinning from that whirling about face. Am I the only fan going "whaaaa? Did the earth not move for Jack? Or Carmen? Because she's definitely got her sights set dead on Neil now. I confess I'm a little confused about Carmen and her duties. She's a PR wizard right? Something I've never known Neil to be. So can someone please explain to me why Brad is giving her a report to complete, an assignment originally given to Neil? What kind of report was it? PR or business? And if Carmen must now be everywhere at once, what is the old Newman PR department doing these days? Twiddling their thumbs?

But back to Neil. Come on Neil, even a dog knows better than to .... where he lives. You fans put your own description in the empty space. No one's going to accuse me of having a mind that dwells in the debris-choked gutter. Anyway, Neil obviously wants payback so bad he can taste it. But I'm hoping he will catch himself before he goes too far. The new girl isn't worth it. And if he plans to live the words he so blithely speaks, a man who's decided to put family before business, then what is the point of hooking up with Miss Wanna Prove Myself Workaholic. But I guess I can't completely blame Carmen. I'm sure she's looked around at the few men sprinkled throughout this town and can see that most of them are married. Except Jack, of course, but she's a smart college grad so she can also see that though he might be single, his heart still belongs to Philly.

Unlike Neil, Devon got a gold star in his column for his loyalty to his foster mom. I know many fans find Devon glum and boring and pretty much a wasted character. I don't happen to agree. Unfortunately for him, in this sparsely populated burg, there are not enough innocent young maidens to go around with, so instead of getting to dally with a delightful doll of his own, he's had to settle for being a sort of wet blanket, with little more to do than be the voice of reason or support for everybody else's romance. He's already proven he's an awesome actor, with that rare ability to deliver a message through his expressive facial expressions instead of just by obvious dialogue. It's too bad he can't get a storyline to showcase those talents. I bet with just even a little thought, it could turn out to be much more compelling than listening to Lily whine her way through her less than riveting marriage to Daniel when she's not inserting herself in Colleen's juvenile escapades. Anyway, Dru might not be around to protect her interest, but Devon is doing his best to keep his foster dad focused on family and not the seemingly green grass on the other side of the fence. Trust me, Neil, it's not nearly as green as it looks from afar.

Victor continues to become the dad and husband he never was or the child he never got a chance to be, depending on which day it is. When Nikki comes downstairs in the morning, she never knows whether she's going to find herself in Home Improvement, Father Knows Best or Sesame Street. Regardless, I'm still enjoying watching this unfold. When a teary-eyed Victor finally admitted his fear to his son, I was practically bawling myself. What a moment!

Over at Jabot, as Gloria gets closer to her goal ... whatever that may be beyond getting the Abbotts out and the Fishers in, Kevin began his employment as Web-man. A far cry from being the Fisher-man, thank goodness. Even though I hate to put myself on the side of any position that might wind up benefiting Gloria, I still couldn't help but cheer for Kevin as he beat Ashley at her attempted sabotage game (thanks to Phyllis, of course). Like I said, I have no idea where Gloria is going with all this, but if it means more air time for one of my favs, Kevin, I'm all for it.

So, Michael has questions about his father? Providing the name is correct (with Gloria, one never knows), he shouldn't be that hard to find. Let's just hope he doesn't meet a similar fate like Gloria's other baby daddy. And who knows, maybe there's already a link to Daddy residing in Genoa City in the form of Jana.

Wow, perhaps Brad should be the detective instead of Paul and J.T.. Because it sure didn't take him long to figure out something was rotten and stinking up the place in Denmark.

I'm done. And turning it over to you, fans.

* * * * * * *

JAMES - Jana is really Sheila Carter. What better way to get to Lauren than through Kevin. Jana would be able to get to all the people that wronged her. Lauren, Mike and especially Gloria. With any luck she will get rid of Gloria first.

PHOENIX - When Phyllis told Nick that it would be tough for her to explain to Daniel about her pregnancy, his response was not well thought out. She had the nerve to throw in about speaking to Daniel about safe sex, pregnancy, the whole birds to bees story. I could not believe Nick's response. The words actually flowed from his lips that Phyllis did not think she could ever get pregnant again. Is that his version of birds to bees? I know everyone is all hot about Phyllis and Nick but I am not on that wagon. The only thing they appear to have is the HOTS for one another. I DO NOT WANT the baby to be Nicks. I DO NOT WANT a switched baby storyline. I DO NOT WANT Sheila to come back as anyone ...take Sheila out of any equation related to Y&R and please, please, please let Cassie GO. She was a fine actress but we must move forward. Neil and Carmen ...come on, Carmen has just left the BREAK ROOM with Jack right behind her. Do the writers think we have forgotten about that little 'get together'. I can't bear much more of Victor's personality change. When the old Victor spoke, he made me get nervous ...I WANT THAT VICTOR BACK. I want Gloria GONE !!!!!!

JANET - I really enjoy reading your column, Nita. It's very entertaining even when I don't agree with you. I love Nick and Phyllis! They are seriously H-O-T, hot together! They've reinvigorated the show at a time when there wasn't much romance. I realize that they didn't come together in the best way, but this is a soap! If we didn't forgive or forget past sins of the characters, they would all have to be written off of the show! Michelle has done an awesome job with Phyllis, not everyone can do what she does when given this type of material to play. She hits it out of the park every time! You go GIRL!

ANTOINE - I am continuing reading and loving your column. It was some very hilarious parts, and the column is very entertaining. On Monday's show Sharon said to Brad that her and Victoria have the real thing, anyone can see it. What the heck was she thinking! People with a massive telescope can see that Victoria and Brad have anything but the real thing. That was definitely the joke of the day! I noticed that you are not a part of the Nick/Phyllis affair. And, I don't blame you. Are you pro- Phyllis and Jack? Because, I am. I know Nick and Phyllis are still considered "hot" but I am just not that into their coupling. Maybe if Nick divorces Sharon, or something else. And, who do you want the father to be? I want it to be Jack because if it's Nicks baby the storyline is going to be a perfect triangle. Nick would not leave Sharon. But if Brad leaves Victoria she might. I just don't know!

RACHEL - I love reading your column each week! I agree with you about the many reasons why it can be difficult to watch nick and Phyllis together. But, even though I wouldn't in real life, I still find myself rooting for them, mostly because they are one of the few couples that seem to have any chemistry right now (not a fan of brad/Victoria, Brad/Sharon, lily/Daniel, etc. Though I do like Neil/Dru, Dru isn't around right now) and I just find them more intriguing to watch than many of the other pairings right now. Though I am torn between that pairing and a Phyllis/Jack would be interesting to watch them find their way back to each other. I do feel like their relationship has more of a history to build on than nick and Phyllis (which really is mainly about sex, I really don't care what the staunch supporters of this couple say). Will have to wait and see, I guess! It does keep me tuning in each day though, that's for sure. Also, I find it interesting what they are doing with Victor right now and am interested to see what unfolds...but I really can't wait to have the real Victor back! The scenes this week during Nikki's flashbacks were such a tease. Like you, I just can't wait for Victor to be back to his old self and realize what Jack has been up to. Now that will be some must see TV!

TRINACE - I am no fan of adultery. But Sharon does not deserve Nick. He is a good man whom she drove away- make that gave away. I am rooting for Nick and Phyllis to get back together and hopefully raise their baby. Someone mentioned Phyllis being too old for Nick. Every male character on Y&R has had a lady nearly half his age. When was that mentioned? I ain't mad at Phyllis. You go girl!!

JAMIE - "...And the nominees for the worst actress on a soap go to: Gloria a.k.a. bug eyes/over-exaggerator, Lily a.k.a. bad actress/whiny/that mole on her forehead is distracting and Victoria a.k.a. "talk to me BABY"...would somebody stop the insanity! These three are so dang annoying and need acting lessons! Runner up to this category would have to be Colleen and her constant use of the word J.T. in every sentence. Attention casting directors: please make some changes to my favorite soap--these are not good choices for these roles!

SANDI - I have a solution to avoid the DNA switch -- since Nick knows and is supportive and wants to do the DNA test, just have him do it and if it comes back positive or negative, they will know who the father is. No need to tell Jack because Nick is soooo supportive and Jack could go either way. Let's do it and do it soon as this is dragging on too long.

HEATHER - OMG, I totally HATE Nick and Phyllis together! I suppose I was willing to suspend my disbelief in the beginning; after all, they were both grieving and/or scared about their kids. But this "having feelings" for each other crap just turns my stomach to watch! I just find it completely unbelievable and uninteresting. PLUS there's the fact that Jack used to be Nick's stepfather and the man Nick looked up to for many years as his most respected male role model -- now he has no problem boinking step-daddy's ex (and much older than him) wife? PUH-LEEZE!

TAD - At times, it's hard for me to figure out if I'm watching Y&R, the soap or Jerry Springer, the freak show. There is absolutely too many casual sexual relationships on this soap in recent times, with the failure to identify safe sexual practices. I know, it's not sexy, but it is essential, in my opinion! I've heard Phyllis mention(regarding her pregnancy) on a couple of occasions about how she wouldn't change a she has no regrets. I would think insisting that Nick wear protection might be a good starting point. Not knowing who your baby's daddy is isn't a good thing. I don't like the approach Y&R has taken with this storyline thus far. One would think, by listening to Phyllis' dialogue with Lauren, Michael, and Nick that not knowing who the father of your baby is is an acceptable and natural occurrence. I wouldn't expect the message from Y&R to be in the form of a public broadcast or Infomercial, but making the point of how being sexually responsible would reduce these kinds of situations would have been prudent by the writers. I think more needs to be said other than the way that Phyllis glossed over the issue of safe sex on an earlier episode this week. Most importantly insisting that your partner, who you are not in an exclusive relationship with, use protection in the efforts to minimize the likelihood of contracting an STD is a point worth making. I think Nick and Sharon do a great job of dealing with serious issues, and they might be the right two people to bring this issue to the forefront when it becomes common knowledge that Phyllis could be carrying Nick's baby. In the past, Y&R has done an excellent job of exploring and informing viewers of issues related to cancer, diabetes, domestic violence, etc. There would be no reason to assume that the good people of GC are immune to STDs. Actually, it's very likely that somebody has something with as many casual mixing of body parts that goes on in this quaint little community. The Young and the Restless is a show geared for adults, with adult content, but many young people are watching as well. I hope they don't drop the ball here! I had thought the very same thing that Lynda brings up regarding the difference in ages between Nick and Phyllis, but in reality Michelle Stafford is not even 7 years older than Joshua Morrow per the Cast and Credit section in SOC. Apparently there has been some comments made about the differences in their ages as Michelle(Phyllis), during an interview on soap net, felt it necessary to expound on the issue. She basically said that she remembered when Joshua(Nick) used to run around the studio when he was a kid, but now he was a man. Those type of comments made me think there was a drastic difference in their ages, but he's 31 and she's 37 (soon to turn 38). As far as the character of Phyllis, she's definitely more worldly than Nick, which, I think, gives the impression that she is much older. We see couples with significant age differences on this program all of the time. Victor and almost all of the women he has been involved with, John and Jill, Jill and Sean(her boy toy from a few years ago). The character of Lauren seems to have more than a few years on Michael. There is, and has been great disparity in the ages of some of the more intriguing couples on Y&'R. In reality actors Eric(Victor) Braeden and Peter(Jack) Bergman are more than 15 years older than their on-air love interests Melody (Nikki) Scott and Michelle (Phyllis) Stafford. We also see that the age difference in most of the couples, on screen and in reality, is where the man is significantly older than the woman. I guess the school of thought here is what's good for the gander is good for the goose.

CANDICE - I just recently discovered your column and I must say I now look forward to it every week. You're right on about so many of the characters. I have a plot theory involving this mysterious Jena girl and the long awaited return (at least for me) of Sheila. The other night the thought popped in my mind that perhaps Sheila is Jena, after all the last time we saw her she was asking a plastic surgeon to make her look like some mystery picture. I thought, maybe it's Jena, but then i realized all the plastic surgery in the world couldn't make Sheila's body over into that of the young Jena, even that would be too far fetched for a soap. But I do think there is some connection between the two of them. So far we've seen that not only does Jena work for Kevin but knows far more about he and his brother's personal lives (that they have two fathers) than she should being so new to GC. Then we see that she knows a little too much about Victoria and Brad, and the whole Italy coincidence is too much for me. Then add in the fact that Jena happened to "find" Vicky's bag and jewelry, bull. She obviously had something to do with the robbery. So here's the connection: from what we've seen so far, Jena's a bit too curious about Victoria & Brad and Kevin. Kevin who happens to be the brother in law to Lauren (whom she seems to care about and we all know that Kevin had his infatuation with Lauren). And who do Lauren and Brad have in common - Sheila. I'm guessing that sweet Jena is Sheila's newest accomplice and is setting the stage for Sheila's return. Things are definitely not over between Sheila and Lauren and using Kevin to get to her some way certainly seems plausible for the writers of Y&R. And Sheila still has it out for Brad (who doesn't?), so using Jena to get a little more comfortable with the Carlton/Newman fam seems like something the writers would do also. And one more thing, it wasn't Colleen's warning of being attacked by Kevin that kept them from their date, but the fact that Jena had to help a friend who just moved to GC move into her flat - I think that "friend" is Sheila in whatever face she's donning these days, and she's just lying in wait to strike. And that would explain why Jena was so eager to still go out with Kevin, even after Colleen's warning. She may not have believed Colleen (hell I would take anything that nut says with a grain of salt) but I would still think that Jena would be somewhat concerned about it, or at least a bit hesitant to go out with Kevin. But no, she was right there on the B-Ball court with him the next week. She obviously has something up her sleeve with Kevin and Brad & Vicky. It will be interesting to see how it plays out.

TREY - Once again your column is right on point. Although, I have always loved Nick and Sharon as one of my favorite all time soap couples, I must say I too am ambivalent about what the future should hold for these two. I have always loved Sharon Case and character she portrays, but its almost as if "Sharon" is so tired of fighting for her marriage that she seems cold and lackluster about everything. Even her affair with Brad was so contrived and predictable. I wanted her to be better than that, not sinking down to Nick's level. I must admit though, I enjoy watching Phyllis and Nick. Not so much because these two have great chemistry, but because their affair, the reasons, the circumstances seem so very likely to me. Yes, it's true that they both keep saying one thing but doing another, but to be quite frank, sometimes its like that. Sometimes, your head really says one thing, but your heart and your loins say another. When someone is able to light a fire inside you, that ignites every sensual passion you have to offer, it can become overwhelming and intoxicating. So do I want Nick and Sharon together? I dunno. Do I want Nick And Phyllis together, I don't think so. But this story has spiced up my TV viewing and for that I'm happy. As far as this new girl Carmen. Now, I myself took an invested interest in Carmen, partly because I was familiar with her work on GH and I'm always excited to see another character of color. But this character in my opinion is completely lacking something. First, she kind of came off as a prudish, business minded level-headed young lady. Now within a couple weeks, she slept with Jack and making similar plans with Neil. And I'm just a little taken aback by it all. I'm like, what are they doing with her? Is she just going to be a boardroom bed hopper or does serve any other purpose. I love this actress and I think I could still like the character, but I implore Y&R to give Carmen, a little more depth.

MICHELLE - I am hoping the baby is Jacks. Nick keeps saying he will support Phyllis but he puts her above his own wife and son. Jack and Phyllis used to be a good couple, so maybe a baby would bring then closer. If the baby was Nicks, it will destroy what is left of his marriage and Noah. Ten years is something to fight for. I do think they need to do something more with Sharon's character. I don't see Nick wanting this to be his baby it's what Phyllis wants. The show keeps making Nick and Phyllis together, lets have some sparks again between Nick and Sharon.

KAMAL - Love your Nick/Phyllis devoted column, Nita. While I am a fan of the Nick and Phyllis pairing, it is mostly because I loathe Sharon, the hypocrite among hypocrites. I find I will never, truly trust Phyllis. One of your commentators said that Phyllis loves herself the most, and I have to agree. And someone else said that the Jack/Phyllis devotion was very strong... uh, didn't Phyllis testify against Jack in the bribery case? I still ain't got over that one (as well as many of her dastardly deeds over the years). Yet Jack still gave her the time of day after that mess (once he calmed down that is). I don't want to sound like Jack is the victim in the Nick/Phyllis tornado. Jack is his own worst enemy and for him to be so callous to Phyllis and just about everyone around him, really ruins the character for me (this NVP takeover being the icing on the cake). As far as who I'd like to be Phyllis' baby daddy? I'm leaning toward Jack. The obvious choice will be Nick. So much more drama and havoc to be wrecked in the House of Newman if Nick is the daddy. Still, I feel sad that Jack hasn't had a chance to raise his own children. Perhaps if he got the chance, he'd mellow out a bit. Just my opinion of course. I'd bet money that Nick is the father, but Jack being the father could be an unexpected twist.

JACKIE - Ok, my first time doing this so bear with me. I like Nick and Phyllis together. I would like to see Sharon switch the DNA results, then Nick finds out(because of the DNA test Sharon takes behind Nick's back to see if he is the father of her baby...and he isn't!) and dumps her. Nick can then find out that Sharon has been slutting around AGAIN! Ashley and Jack should be booted out of the house and made to stand on their own two feet for a change. Who lives in their parents house until they are ready to receive their old age pensions? Michael's father should be a great guy that Gloria screwed over so that Mike and Kevin can finally wash their hands of her and not feel guilty. Make Brad a witness to a major crime(maybe connected with Brittney and Bobby so they can come back) that he set in motion as a kid without fully understanding the outcome. PLEASE..PLEASE..PLEASE..GET RID OF COLLEEN! Her whining is tiresome. OOOH, and let Victor hide the fact that his mind is back to normal...Maybe the "spirit" will fill him in on how Jack has come so far.

WANDA - Please writers, enough of TGVN baby stuff. He is acting so childish that I can't stomach much more. He kisses Nikki every 2 seconds. His tomatoes that he grew and then saying, "I'm having a cookie" (like a little kid) is over the top. I think the writers are making up this bunk as they go along. I'm seriously thinking of not watching for a while. Did Nick have the DNA test or not?? He and Phyllis had to go the Michael and Lauren's apt to discuss it and then that is the first thing they talk about in the break room when they get back to NE. NUTS!! At least we were spared Colleen's whining and the Daniel and Lily crisis for a few days. What about Neil making dinner for Devon and he is at the movies with his friends? Just another excuse for him and Carmen to be alone. Writers making up script as they go along again. Sharon hanging all over Nick and kissy face all the time is very sickening too. What happened to she was going to divorce him a couple of weeks ago? Them thinking of having another baby is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of. Brad mystery is heating up good though. Does Sharon or Phyllis get hurt in the car accident? Does Sharon find out the Phyllis is pg when they go to the hospital? Please get back and clear up some of the dropped s/ls writers. Do they think we just forget them because they stop addressing them?

CAROLYN - I haven't responded to your column in a while, but I just had to answer your question on how I feel about Nick and Phyllis. Well, here's my .02 worth. I am all for a Nick/Phyllis pairing, not so much because of Nick and Phyllis perse, but because I despise how hypocritical Sharon is. Her 'poor me', 'woe is me' song was wearing thin on my nerves. Not that two wrongs ever made a right, but I screamed for joy when Nick reminded her of her dalliance with that lunatic Cameron and how he forgave her for walking out on him and their children. Now she's slept with 'My name is Brad...not' and because Brad only wanted to 'hit it and quit it' and will not leave 'Mrs. Opportunity', Sharon is suddenly so in love with Nick that she wants to have another baby? GMAB! The only reason Sharon withdrew the divorce proceedings is because she couldn't have her sister-in-law's man. Not that I feel any remorse for Victoria, who was all too willing to boot her father from HIS own company without a second thought. I can't wait until Mrs. Carlton-Not finds out what her hubby and her sister-in-law did while in NY. Finally, to Mr. Carlton-Not, who gave the lamest reason to excuse adultery ...'What happened between us was different because we care for each other'. GMAB! I don't believe the good Lord had any conditions to his commandments! If that is really the case, then Sharon should not be mad at Nick or Phyllis, because it's so obvious that they have feelings for each other...and tons of chemistry, unlike Sharon and Brad, who have about as much chemistry as two flies mating. Oh well, I'm off my soap box now. Keep those great articles coming, Nita.

PEOPLE - I like the relationship between Nick and Phyllis. What's wrong with an older woman and a younger man; the roles have been reversed for way too long. I also hope that the baby is Nick's it would stir up GC you can build up a good storyline with Nick, Phyllis, and baby. He seems happier now that he had an affair with Phyllis. I really didn't know that he looked so good and has a sexy smile. We are rooting for Nick to be the baby's daddy. Please write the story for the baby to be Nick's and Phyllis'. It would be very boring with Jack being the baby's daddy. He's not any more. I hope that Sharon and Brad fool around again. That would be a good storyline with Sharon and Brad secret affair and his secret life he's trying to keep quiet about. Please let the baby be Nick's. By the way Sharon is too good to be with Nick. She was poor with no money now she want to be all that and more. She thinks that she is better than Phyllis because she married a Newman. I really don't like her. I hope that Phyllis' baby is Nick's

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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