No need to wait for January 1: the annual time for renewed resolutions, fresh starts and brand new beginnings. Because, lately, in this new Genoa City, it's like starting over every single day. And, these days, it's anyone's guess whose face will be erased from the Genoa City canvas next.
With Tracy basically banished, Billy temporarily transplanted, John dearly departed and poor Ashley demoted, dismissed, or just plain getting booted out of town, Jack will soon be the only Abbott with a stake still in the game. And if Victor, Nikki, Phyllis, Michael, Kevin and Gloria have anything to do with it, I wouldn't be a bit surprised to see him forced to throw in his worthless hand and fold. Could the long reign of the great and once powerful Abbotts really be nearing an end?
And if that's true, who or what will be left to carry on the Genoa City traditions? Fisher-Baldwin-Bardwell? Kaplan and Company? The House of J.T.? Giggles and Grins Newman? Maybe I'm the only one, but I confess I can't say any or even all of them together will guarantee riveting watching.
As many times as I've had occasion to mangle a particular metaphor, namely, the one about being careful about the things I covet, I find I wasn't quite careful enough. Because I can clearly recall wishing on countless occasions for more Fisher-Baldwin. And now that I've rubbed that lamp, the genie has materialized and granted the first of my obviously ill-thought out wishes, I'm rubbing frantically hoping I can get him to undo my first wish with my second.
Yes, I begged for someone to bond lovingly with the adorable Fisher-Baldwin boys because I so believed they deserved to have a lady love they could call their own. And voila, Michael got Lauren and baby made three and Kevin got Jana Jobhopper. Unfortunately, Gloria "Gimmee" Fisher was the hidden string tied to the Fisher-Baldwin package deal. Sure seems like a bit of an uneven trade off. John the Goodheart for Gloria the Greedy.
Speaking of that woman, are any other fans wondering how many more sympathy cards with John's face on it this albatross will pull from her sleeve and wave wildly about whenever it's convenient. She's been searching for sympathy since the very second she set a tattered tennis shoe on Genoa City soil. Now it's poor, poor, Gloria. Her first Thanksgiving without John, as if she's had a score of them under her belt instead of only the last one. The one where she found herself wedged securely in a corner with no way out but to tell the partial truth about all her deceptions. If you don't remember, read my version of it for yourself in last Thanksgiving's Two Scoops.
She burned up Lauren's special sweet potato pie present for Michael. Not my fault, the drama queen insists. John, John, she cries, forcing a few crocodile tears from her discreetly made up eyes, but failing to cause any to spurt from mine on her behalf. Are we to believe she doesn't know her way around an oven at all? It's not as if she's been rich all her life. The woman was supposedly dirt poor. Much too poor, one would presume, to have funds to waste on nightly takeout when Tom's booze and cigarettes had to be paid for instead. So who was putting food on the cluttered table? No way was Tom the domesticated cat. Anyway, her histrionics paid off better than she could have dreamed, as it resulted in Michael sympathetically summoning the DA to banish her somewhat manufactured melancholy.
But maybe I'm just too hard on the wide-eyed one and in my opinionated prejudice can't see the forest for the towering trees, so if Gloria has any redeeming qualities, someone please point them out to me, because I'm having a difficult time finding them for myself. I confess she did have me going for almost a minute. There she was, hanging on every one of William Bardwell's words, hiding her dismay completely as he admitted his recent intimacy with an unknown to Gloria, or so he thought, woman. I kept waiting for the real Gloria to sidle up, unsheathe her claws and start cattily scratching up the competition. I could live with this new Gloria, I thought, when she failed to live down to my expectations. Was she actually planning to compete with Jill on a relatively level playing field, no manipulation, no trickery? How novel that would be, I mused. Maybe even interesting. And then she returned to the office, collared Kevin and immediately hatched a plan to make Jill see things the way they weren't, dashing my high hopes for her and reminding me all over again why I so despise her. Just once I'd like to see her land a fish, I mean fellow, with regular bait, instead of tossing him rotten tidbits tarnished with untruths and fakery.
When it comes to Michael, you would think he'd have his hands completely full, what with the Mesta murder madness, his baby-expanded family and Gloria to boot, but apparently, there's always room for more. More being helping Victor, who obviously is more than capable of accomplishing the Jack hatchet job with one hand tied behind his back and three fingers of the remaining hand taped together. I know it's likely a pipe dream, but how wonderful it would be to view a picture of a triumphant Jack next to a quintet of Victor, Nikki, Phyllis, Michael and Kevin with egg smeared across their once smug faces.
For the second year in a row, Phyllis was again seated at the Newman Thanksgiving day table. Although this time, she was without son Daniel and didn't have to look at the face of the wife whose husband she was sleeping with on the down low. Now she is the Newman wife, surrounded by her adoring Newman admirers, including Zapato. What I wouldn't give to see Phyllis reap the rotten seeds she's sown in other people's gardens for years. Obviously, when it comes to receiving back what she's sent around, she is the exception to the rule.
Kay, apparently out of the Thanksgiving dinner for the less fortunate business for good, has allowed Victor to take over the underwriting role, leaving the actual manual labor to other, less manicured hands, of course. Instead, Kay was found picking at an Athletic Club Thanksgiving Day dinner across the table from Jill and Esther. But while Esther and Kay have long become accustomed to their manless existence, Jill hoped in vain that at least one rooster would join her and her fellow hens. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to her, her strutting cock had been coerced to preen his feathers at Gloria's table. Not that this nugget of information will remain unknown for long; I'm sure Gloria will provide Jill with all the lurid details at her earliest convenience. By the way, I know Jill said Will hadn't officially committed to coming, but since obviously he was invited, was I the only fan who thought it rather ill-mannered of him not to at least make a courtesy call of refusal?
Over at the Winters, no one had much of an appetite either. Although with an accusation of murder hanging over Devon's head, it was no surprise the Thanksgiving Day fare grew cold and uneaten on every Winters plate.
The air between Jack and Sharon got a little chilly for a bit when Jack opened his mouth and inserted his size whatever shoe inside by speculating Dru was the Carmen killer, knowingly leaving her foster son to take the rap. Where in the world did that outlandish statement came from? It seemed an obvious contrivance to tear a temporary rift in the fabric of Jack and Sharon that wasn't at all believable. Nothing against Jack and Sharon; perhaps if he hadn't already been intimately linked with both Nikki and Phyllis, they might have more of a chance, but I would so like to see Sharon with someone else. A man who wasn't a rebound, a relative or a relative's former lover. Come on, writers. Can't we go there? What about Adrian and Sharon? Was their brief conversation a test of the waters?
Not that Jack's statement was the only one during the week that left me just a little perplexed. Equally inexplicable were a couple of comments coming out of Phyllis loud mouth. I know Phyllis can come across as incredibly uncouth sometimes, but is she really that rude and crude on purpose? Okay, I don't expect her to walk around on quiet little cat feet, gingerly avoiding stepping on Sharon's feelings, but given the circumstances surrounding her child to be, was it really necessary for her to inform Jack and Sharon that she was going to "have this baby any minute?" Was I the only one who found that remark tactless and purposely hurtful? And then there was that crack about Sharon sleeping with Jack. First, of all, Sharon didn't bring up Jack. So where did that come from? Phyllis has won. She's happy, she's pregnant; she's supposedly securely, serenely in love. Why does that not seem enough for her? And lastly, why in the world should Sharon take back her maiden name just because it's now Phyllis' too? At least in New Mexico. I don't recall Phyllis rushing to dump the Abbott name until she hopped around in that country bar and replaced it with Newman. Perhaps she thinks Sharon should give up all rights to Noah too and turn him over to Phyllis along with his father.
Lastly, absence has not made my heart grow fonder toward John the gullible ghost. I can't say I was overjoyed to see him back again, harping and poking and chiding Jack for his solitary Thanksgiving. John seems to know all there is to know about what everyone is doing for the holiday, but apparently he's unable to catch a glimpse of Gloria simpering at Will every chance she gets.
Well, November is almost over. What did everyone think? Did it live up to the Sweeps hype or was it somewhat of a let down? But there's one more arrival that must be noted, before November wraps for another year. That of Miss Ambrosia Moore. A new Genoa City tenant's appearance I freely admit does not exactly send me over the brink with unbridled anticipation. Because before I gave up and indifferently tossed in the towel on what seemed more Old and Redundant than Bold and Beautiful, and what had for a time frequently been referred to by some fans as the Amber Moore half hour, she had worn out her welcome with me. But, I'm willing to withhold prior judgment of her and give her a chance to make a new mark for herself in the new Genoa City.
TONDA - My best friend Brigitte and I believe that you are listening in on our conversations about Y&R because you are dead on every week about what we like/don't like. I'm sooo happy they got rid of that horrible Billy and they can ride the old nu Lilly on the same horse he rode out on too! She is way too valley girl for the part. Kudos to Brad for punking Colleen! I was screaming at the TV because she was so blasé about telling professor dreamy about her grandma. What was up with Jack treating Phyllis like crap? Helloooo she was in false labor?!? And what's up with Phyllis not knowing about Braxton Hicks?!? That alone led me to believe that she may be Sheila. The show has really taken a crazy direction but I hope they don't drag this murder thing out for too long. As for who murdered "Carmen Mesta" I too think it was the bartender!!
PAM - I think David Chao is Ji Min and he killed ... what-was-her-name-again? It is so booring! Isn't sweeps week in November? The writers need to get a clue!
SUZANNE - Your column is always on point. I hate this all consuming love fest for Nick and Phyllis so much that I am planning to stop watching Y&R. As soon as the Carmen Mesta mystery is wrapped, it will be adios to Y&R. It's so sad to see a wonderful soap go down the tubes. I will read your column to see if things change but until then I will use this time to go grocery shopping, do my laundry or exercise.
JUSROBIN - I absolutely love this column. I couldn't have said these things better than if I wrote them myself. I think you're a very talented person and the way you voice your opinions be it "PC" or not! I absolutely enjoyed reading this recap/ scoop of the dealings in Genoa City, and I just wanted to commend you on a job well done. By the way ... I agree with you totally and wholeheartedly on everything relayed.
VETTE - Love the column. I have a sister called Nita! Is it me or is it becoming increasingly difficult to watch this show? I realized last week that I DVR all five episodes and it takes me about 2 ˝ hours to watch them. Mainly because I don't like any of these people! My list of people that I like is way shorter than the list of GC people I just cannot stand anymore so I'll give you that one: The old Lily, JiMin (he's hot). Dru (although I wish she was a little less ghetto), Sharon Paul. Hell that's it. The rest of them make me sick or they're just flat out uninteresting. Colleen is a very pretty girl but I'd like to hit her in the head with a rock just to make her shut up. The new/old Lily just might be one of the worst actresses on TV. And her voice is like nails to a chalkboard to me. She gets the mute button all the time or I'll just skip the whole scene. Gloria and her sons are living proof that the only thing worse that trash is trash with money! Victor I would like to see lose and lose big. Mainly because in his enlightenment, he hasn't learned a damn thing. I like the dog more than I like him. And I would really like someone to dig up an old videotape of when Nikki was a stripper and post it on the Internet in GC. She needs to be reminded of where she comes from. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against strippers, I just have a problem with GC's "I'm larger than life and I come with a pedigree" ex-stripper. I didn't think anything could stop me from wanting to gaze at Nike but Phyllis managed to pull it off! I can't stand to look at them now. I don't even want to hear them. The only thing they can do to go lower than they already have is to name the baby Cassie! The writing and casting on this show is starting to suck. Like Bold and Beautiful suck. I still haven't started watching that one again. Speaking of writing ...just incase the writers didn't know, the whole murder thing only works if you care about the person who died and you actually have some real suspects that needed this woman dead in a bad way. This storyline was a joke from jump street. Let's start with the DA and Maggie go get'em ... dumb as a box of rocks! The case against Dru, a brand new court appointed attorney could have gotten that charge dropped. Dru, Neil, and Devon ... oh yes, let's kill her and put her body behind our brand new club ... on opening night ... when all of GC is there ... the police Will is not well written and not well acted, I don't care how many times you show it, it won't work (Colleen's ridiculous kiss). Asoap can survive one stupid storyline but two is pushing it. I can't deal with a completely uninteresting murder case and an equally stupid stolen artwork storyline at the same time. It's too much. By the way, you are an excellent writer. Wish I had your skills!
TAMI - I think I've figured out who murdered Carmen. It seems to make sense that it would be the DA, William. First off, William is just a little too eager to see justice in the case. Secondly, what do we really know about this guy other than Gloria, Ashley & Jill are hot for him? What's his story? Also, who was the guy Carmen previously had an affair with? Makes you wonder.
DONNA - I just heard that Eileen Davidson has been let go from Y&R. First the character of John Abbott was written out and now Ashley. Are the writers planning to write out the entire Abbott family? What a shame! The actors that played the Abbotts are, in my opinion, the best part of the story. If Peter Bergman is also let go that will totally ruin the show for me and I have been a longtime viewer of this soap. I am sincerely hoping they recast the role of Ashley. It's too bad they can continue to bring in more family members for Brad, Lauren, etc. and remove Jack's family piece by piece. This show has already lost many interesting relationships in my opinion. I likewise loved the storyline with Paul and Chris and that storyline was scuttled. I also enjoyed Jack and Phyllis together. Count me among the few and apparently far between who do not care at all for the pairing of Nick and Phyllis. This duo has turned Phyllis into an immature, giggling, giddy, ditz instead of the more mature yet flawed beauty who stole Jack's heart. My suggestion would be to fire the current batch of writers and bring back the former writers who knew enough to leave a great soap alone and to let the actors do what great actors do best - tell a great story. Here's hoping the wholesale slaughter that is taking place will stop before this show is ruined for good!
JAN - I totally agree with your comment about Nikki and Victor. I recently began watching Y&R again with the death of John. However, if all they can come up with is having Victor and the pompous tramp Nikki come after Jack, once again, I'm done with Y&R for good. Why are there too many double standards on Y&R - it's okay for Victor to be cutthroat when it comes to Newman Enterprises and stealing Jabot, but Jack is not allowed the same right? After all, it is his family's company. Why does Phyllis have the right to ridicule anyone - I'm sick of her comments regarding both Dru and Sharon. Further, I'm not watching Y&R too much now anyway because they are making this show about the Newmans and the Baldwins (neither of which I care ANYTHING about!) and eliminating two original core families (the Abbotts and Chancellors).
DEBBIE - I love your column ... it cracks me up. I have been a fan of Y&R, ATWT and Guiding Light for 32 years. I must admit I have a great sense of humor and your column is the best. Happy Holidays!
DANCER - This is my first response to your column. I have to disagree vehemently about one writer's complaint about the casting of Davetta as Dru and Neil's daughter because she is, or appears to be, of mixed race. If I heard correctly Neil is of mixed race. I think Davetta was perfect casting as their daughter and is a much better actress. Previously, I always fast-forwarded the scenes with Krystal in them. She is not believable as Dru and Neil's daughter. Davetta was sweet and sincere. I have watched the show for only five years and have never found it as boring as at the present time. The edge has definitely gone.
CRYSTAL - I really enjoyed Davetta playing the role as Lily Winters. I did not like the part at all with Khalil acting it. If Davetta Sherwood is not playing the role, just write Lily out. Her look and persona fit well with the Winters. Khalil has no emotion and is so BLAND. She does not have what it takes to bring the character alive.
JENN - The Carmen Mesta Murder - my thoughts. Phyllis is Sheila and she murdered Carmen. She has been keeping an eye on the Genoa City happenings and knew that Carmen was scheming to get Neil and saw how Drucilla acted. So she decided that the way to get Lauren's baby was to make Michael's time be completely taken over by a murder case. So when she came to town already surgically altered to look like Phyllis, she either locked up the real Phyllis somewhere or killed her. Then not really knowing the real Phyllis couldn't get pregnant, accidentally got pregnant while she waited for Lauren to give birth as well. So as she waited she realized setting Dru up for murder would completely consume Michael and Lauren would feel alone and depressed, making it easier for her to play mind games with and eventually kidnap Fenmore. I'm actually still on the fence about whether or not Sheila (fake Phyllis) got pregnant by Jack or Nick. It's entirely possible Nick really wanted an excuse to leave Sharon ... which is why he left town after he found out. Sheila (fake Phyllis) never saw the actual results ... wow - hope everyone understands my train of thought. PS - Jana could be Sheila's daughter Erica w/ a makeover. By having Erica insinuate herself into Kevin's life, she and Sheila (fake Phyllis) would have a much easier time screwing with Lauren's head and getting Fenmore.