Remake my day

It was a farewell to arms for Devon's fantasy about Hilary. Victor was ready for Nikki to return home, but Nikki said that love, though a many-splendored thing, was not enough. Colin and Jill ended the war of the roses and found splendor in the chandelier. Summer continued to search for Mr. Right but may have found Mr. Goodbar instead. This and more in this week's Two Scoops.

Usually, I watch the soaps every day, but due to a spate of unexpected callers and visitors, my life turned into a soap, and I had to binge watch ten episodes of The Young and Restless today. The first thing I noticed was I agreed with Teddi on almost everything, including that May Sweeps just wasn't all that exciting. And then, as I was watching so many episodes at once, I understood why!

And I have to give the writers credit for being clever. I also understood the show's slow pace. They are writing for us seniors who suffer from short-term memory loss and for the younger viewers who have ADHD and can only pay attention for three minutes at a time. What makes me say that? I blame it on the binge watching because I couldn't help but notice how often the characters recapped events for each other, had flashbacks, or repeated an argument or conversation (in different words) that had occurred earlier in the day, or earlier in the week.

Two week's ago on Monday's show, Noah recapped Victor's crimes against Sharon to Nikki and then later, he and Courtney recapped what we viewers had just seen happen in the police station. Nikki and Avery also had a recap session that day. During that same week, Chelsea and Victoria recapped Victoria's pregnancy. Ditto, Michael, Lauren, and Kevin about Chloe as well as Jill and Esther doing a recap of what happened to Chloe.

There were several flashbacks including one by Abby, who recalled a scene that had occurred less than two commercials earlier. Last week had just as many or more. Actors either recapped previous events or had the same arguments they'd had in the past, like Lily trying to talk Devon into seducing Lily and Devon refusing, or Lily and Hilary arguing.

I tried to keep count, but after a while, I lost track and decided to let the short-term memory loss work for me to determine where the plot was actually advancing, and bingo, the first thing I noticed was how less "Dullen" Dylan was and how much more "They call me Mr. Stone Cold (a.k.a. Jason)" he was in his scenes with Victor.

I wonder if any other General Hospital fans thought the same thing. I could see Dylan becoming the silent muscular sidekick to Victor's iconic villain. Since Victor is facing jail, it would be just about the same thing as working for Sonny, only without the guns and gangsters. Dylan could be the go-to guy for all the family problems. Instead of the mob family, Dylan could be the enforcer for the Newman family, trading murder and literal backstabbing for corporate intrigue and figurative backstabbing.

Before I forget, I really, really like the new exterior shots of the city, especially the ones of the night skyline. I wonder if those buildings are models, computer-generated graphics, or photos of an actual city somewhere. If anybody has the answer, please drop me an email to satisfy my curiosity.

On a side note (or is it snide note?), I wondered why, in a city as large as those cityscapes would indicate, there is no place in town to have breakfast, except the Athletic Club or Crimson Lights? You'd think there would be some chain restaurant. I live in a town that doesn't even have one building as tall as Victor's mega corporation, but we've got lots of places to have breakfast, so I almost never have to worry about running into people who hate my guts.

Of course, I haven't moved in with my worst enemy's father, either, like Hilary has. After the confrontation Hilary had with Lily in Crimson Lights, you'd think that N'Heel and Hillabeans would recognize that they've got trouble in Genoa City -- especially with Devon and Hilary looking all doe-eyed at each other -- and see the light.

And speaking of hunky, I sure don't mind looking at those nice arms on Devon. I used to date a guy who played piano by night and was a stonemason by day. He had arms just like Devon's, and I was a sucker for him because of them. Devon is one of those guys who looks much better in a sleeveless tee shirt than a suit. If I were 40 years younger, I'd date him, even if I were a tall gorgeous model and he didn't have two billion bucks, unless being tall and gorgeous also made me shallow! Oh wait! I'm already shallow.

I thought that Devon's fantasy of himself with Hilary was a nice touch by the writers. It was hot and projected the chemistry we first noticed several months back between those two, while still keeping the Neil-Devon-Hilary triangle going. Even though I think Neil is too old for Hilary, I have to admit that the actress who plays Hilary is believable with Neil, and if I didn't know that Hilary is Lily's age (and like Hilary with Devon), I could buy them together, at least until Neil gets all clingy -- which ought to take a couple of minutes, but who's counting? (Oh yeah, I am!)

In a way, fans got the best of both relationships -- Hilary with both Neil and Devon without cheating on either, though we all know it's just a matter of time before the incredible chemical reaction between Devon and Hilary causes the beaker to bubble over. My only question: will they be Bill and Melinda Gates or Ivana and Donald Trump? Best prediction: Bill Gates and Ivana Trump.

Before I wrap up DeHillabeans and N'Heel, I think Leslie had some nerve second-guessing Neil's decision to turn to Hilary. Leslie might be right, but she made just as hasty a decision, so she really needs to keep her opinion to herself. Leslie would be better advised to tie up her own loose ends and finally discover the real relationship between her father, Gus, and Hilary's mother, Rose.

Leslie has a very handsome doctor husband joining her soon, so she had better get ready to hold on to her man. The attractive doc is bound to share a past connection with someone in town. Heck, maybe it's Stitch! (Nah, it's probably another woman.)

Nick and Sharon are my favorite couple right now, followed by Jill and Colin. I know that not everyone agrees, but this is the Sharon I like, and this couple has an amazing bond. I will accept any explanation for Sharon's actions regarding the paternity test, even a semi-believable one, if it will keep this couple together. What I would really like to see is Sharon remembering what happened and having the courage to tell Nick and for him to forgive her, thus proving that love conquers all -- then they could happily depart on a cruise of The Love Boat.

I do expect that Sharon and Cassie, I mean Mariah, will prove to be related. Mariah gets the "Best Turn-Around Award" because instead of surly street urchin, she is now acting like Cassie and dressing like Cassie. Mariah's whole personality and demeanor have changed since she came back from Portland.

Now that we know her background and Nick has agreed to make Mariah a bartender at the Underground, it won't take long for Nick to accept Mariah and start thinking of her as Cassie, just like Sharon does. Soon, it will be as though Cassie never died, and those 18 years of Summer are conveniently forgotten.

If Summer does turn out to be Nick's kid and Cassie's age peer, there are all kinds of sibling stories that can play out from this, plus Cassie is a female that is not related to the Abbotts or the Newmans, so she can date anyone! And poor Summer, first she falls in love with her (supposed) brother, and now she's fallen for Avery's stalker, who I suspect will find redemption, unless Austin's only purpose on the canvas is to provide the catalyst that will ultimately prove that Paul, not Ian Ward, is Dylan's father.

I don't know how long it will take for Dylan to figure out that Paul is his father. I don't want to spoil anything for anyone -- like I did a year ago when I made a wild guess that Paul was Dylan's father -- so I'll just tell you that Cathey, one of my regular correspondents, sent me a hot rumor, which I immediately repeated to Bessie, thinking that for once, I knew something before Bessie did, but I was wrong.

The ink was hardly dry on my email before Bessie wrote me back that she had read the same rumor! Darn that woman! She is so quick. If you want the straight dope, go find either one of those ladies on the boards, and they will astound you with their knowledge and insight into the show.

When I looked at Y&R as a glass half full, I decided that repeating storylines, like the unknown twin, the stalker stories, the paternity issues, etc., are familiar to us old-timers because we've been watching for so long. If you've watched other soaps, like I have, you are bound to see all the similarities between stories. I know I don't mind watching a good movie twice or even a remake, if it's at least as good as the original.

New viewers in the younger age groups are tuning in, or the ratings would not be up as reported. They haven't seen these stories as many times as we have, so when I look at the writing from that point of view, I am less critical and more optimistic about where Y&R is going. It also means that all of you who threatened to quit -- and might even have quit when the ratings took a dip -- are back to at least binge watching secretly on your DVR! Admit it, it's still your guilty pleasure!

I love Jill and Colin together, though I understand that many of you do not feel the same way. I am very glad that the necklace has been found, but I'm not entirely sure that the mystery of the music box has been completely resolved. I absolutely cannot buy Tristan Rogers as a truly bad guy. It's okay if he's a scamp, but when the time arrives to choose between Jill and the money, I'm betting that Colin proves his love and chooses Jill.

In fact, maybe Colin is a secret agent with the WSB, I mean Interpol, who is pretending to be a lowlife to capture the international head of a notorious crime family, rumored to be living on a Greek Island, strike that, Caribbean Island, who has moved to Port Charles, whoops, Genoa City...Well you get the idea. I won't mind if Dullen channels "Stone Cold" and Colin morphs into Bad Boy-o Scorpio.

Several fans wrote in to support David Tom. While I understand that DT is the sacrificial lamb in the attempt to appease fans that were outraged by the cast changes, I'm with the non-vocal ones in the minority who, as daffy as it seems, prefers DT's version of Billy, but I go with the flow. Sending Billy away to find out Stitch's secret is a good move.

Billy will return during July sweeps with a new actor in the role, and with Jenna, Stitch's wife, in tow. And at last, Stitch's secret will finally be revealed. So far I haven't figured it out, and even though it's been a puzzler for a while, I haven't lost interest, and I'm still scratching my noggin, trying to guess the secret before anyone else does or the show gives it away.

I'm sure that Stitch will fall in love with Victor. No matter what Stitch did in the past, Victor will overlook it because he will prefer Stitch to Billy as Victoria's mate and Victor's son-in-law. How far will Victor go to make it so? I sense a disturbance in the paternity lab. Here's another opportunity for Dylan. He can hold the boxing bag for Victor, just like Jason did for Sonny. In fact, if Victor boxed Sonny, who would win?

The conversation between Victor and Nikki was impressive and well acted. Nikki stood up to Victor. They were both honest. Victor said that he appreciated Nikki because they could talk like adults, and Nikki admitted that she understood Victor but did not always agree with him. They spoke of their enduring love for each other, but, sadly, Nikki told Victor that she could not return home with him because just as he had pointed out that love was not enough for Billy and Victoria, neither was love enough for them.

I thought I would crack up when Chelsea handed Billy that note with Jenna's number on it and said that she was using her powers for good instead of evil. A dear friend, several years deceased, used to say that all the time, and I always laughed. We used to watch Y&R together and dish on all the characters. It was very nice to have a brief memory of her when Chelsea spoke those words in the same sassy tones that Charlie used.

I had a thought about Jack and his feud with Victor. Now that Victor has Ian Ward to kick around, it would be nice if Jack had a business or personal enemy besides Victor. That way, Jack could finally have the satisfaction of beating someone. I don't think it's fair for Victor to be the only one who gets a new nemesis to triumph over.

Lots of you like Kelly and Jack together, but it's hard to invest in them when the dark cloud that shall be known as Phyllis will shortly rise from her coma to rain on their parade, but what could be finer?

Well, I see by the old word counter on the wall that I am just about ready to exceed your capacity to endure -- and miss my deadline. So before I do, I challenge you regular viewers to count how many flashbacks, recaps, and rehashed arguments you notice in an episode next week and report back to me. I'll count also. Let's see how many of us agree, you know, like a science experiment, only we don't blow anything up.

Share your thoughts below this column in the Comments section, post a message on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit Feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column, like these! Check it out!

They love me:This is crazy!! David was the first Billy, and in my eyes is Billy. Billy Miller is not coming back so people need to move on. I think Tom has done a great job, he is cute, and he looks like Johnny. He may not have the exact same chemistry of Billy Miller with Amelia Heinle (Victoria) but does have the chemistry with Chelsea. People need to shut-up, give him a chance. He won some of us over when he first came on. There have been too many changes. I am mad that Michelle Stafford will not be back as Phyl., but I will give the new girl a chance. The creators who write these decisions (in my eyes) should be the 1's to go. I petition that David Tom STAYS!!! -- KAREN

I'm gobsmacked! Don't know the new guy -- but watched DT as BA originally -- he was great & I missed him -- never got used to BM in the role because I'd watched him on AMC so he will always be Richie to me. David Tom was sensational & easy on the eyes, too. Very puzzled by their decision. -- FREDRICKA

I don't think you all should recast David Tom, he just got back and you all are kicking him to the curb already. Why can't you all leave people on for a while instead of replacing them every three or four months, it's just crazy. -- JANET

Please do not replace David Tom as Billy. Just give him a chance. He is a stellar actor. -- DONNA

They love me not:I'm glad they are getting a new Billy -- CAROL

So excited when I first saw David Tom was out ...hopefully this person can do better I found David too young -- L

It is a good idea to recast. Mr. Tom was more like a wimp and not macho enough. He looks really young and innocent, unlike the previous Billy. I am sure Mr. Tom will be good in a different type of role. I wish him the best. -- RONDA

Dinah, come blow your horn:I think it's great that she's going to play Phyllis. She did an amazing job playing Dinah #4 on Guiding Light after her predecessor Wendy Moniz. She's not going to be a wannabe but she'll give her own flavor to Phyllis and she looks as though she'd have a great chemistry with Peter Bergman (Jack) as well as Joshua Morrow (Nick). The icing on the Cake would be Jeff Branson (Ronan) coming back. They did play a "Married" Couple on Guiding Light as Dinah & Shayne. Can't hardly wait. -- TAMMI

Gina was great (as Dinah) on Guiding Light, I'm sure she'll do a good job. I will still miss "Red," Michelle Stafford! ABC must pay better than CBS -- NANCEE

Or Not:I am sorry. I have watched The Young and Restless since it first began and to me Michele Stafford WAS and IS Phyllis and it will be so hard for her to be replaced. I read about her replacement and I will give her the chance as its only fair, but like the viewers will decide if Gina will be accepted as the new Phyllis, if the fans are not happy, they will let you know. Michelle will always be Phyllis and good luck to Gina Tognoni... -- VINNIE

Sill watching after all these years:Tired of Sharon and Nick. How can Nick be so stupid for a roll in the sack. It is only a soap, however deceit is never a good thing. Sharon gets away with too much. Life is not like that. I am an 86 year old viewer who likes the character to be a little more realistic. -- KITTY

Last words:May was not an eventful month for Y&R. Sorry Chloe's character will be gone but I do believe she will return with a little bundle. The character of Billy has changed many times. Billy Miller was the best one. He lasted longer then the rest as well. I tried to accept David Tom but he seemed weak and not convincing. He had a few funny lines with Chelsea and Chloe but little chemistry with Victoria. I like Stitch because he's a Veteran but he needs to stay out of married folk's business. Back off and give Victoria space. She probably feels overwhelmed. I'm glad Phyllis is coming back. Gina Tognoni has some big shoes to fill. Hope she's brings this character back to life. It's hard to believe she's been quiet for so long. I like that Jack is seeing Kelly. Ian needs to leave. Tyler is so corny. I can't believe he told Lilly she reminded him of his Ex. How? Noah and Courtney make a "cute couple". A fan mentioned, it's hard to believe there is still sexual harassment in the work environment today. It's no different then racism. With all of the changes around us you think we would get it. Sharon needs to listen to Nicholas about that Cassie-look alike. Colin and Jill are not interesting. He means trouble. Summer is coming so hopefully things will warm up on Y&R. -- ROBIN

Thanks to all of you who expressed condolences and to those of you who said a silent prayer for the loss of my father. You are a terrific bunch, and I look forward to bringing a little humor your way every chance I get.

Until next time, fellow fan addicts, remember it's better to have soaped and lost than never to have soaped at all!

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