Sleep like a puppy tonight

Has Phyllis flipped her wig -- Or did a desperate Kelly poison herself in the hope of winning Jack back? Who is the victim and who is the culprit? The debate rages on! Plus, Jill and Victor poured out their hearts -- in battle over Chancellor Industries! For more, read this week's Two Scoops.

Why are we never completely satisfied with our appearance and always feel like there could be room for improvement? I mean, it's great for the plastic surgeons and the cosmetologists of the world, and our insecurities cause us to explore the possibilities for never-ending New Year's resolutions. But why can't we just be happy with what we already have? I have a natural curl in my hair, which can be somewhat hard to tame at times, and when I was young, I always envied my best friend's long and flowing straight locks. But she constantly wished she could grow out her fingernails like mine. Does our desire for a different look ever stop...and should it? At what age does being 10 or 20 (or more pounds overweight stop mattering? And if it never does, is that such a bad thing?

Soap characters may also worry about their looks, but not Victor Newman, who would never concern himself about such shallow, frivolous things. With all the wheeling and dealing he has going on, Victor still somehow manages to never break out in a sweat (oh, the horror!), and he certainly would never have any problems sleeping at night. That reminds me of a local mattress company whose commercial claims that you will "sleep like a puppy tonight."

That would be Victor at any time on any mattress. His conscience never bothers him. But then I wonder about how Victor's pooch, Segundo, sleeps. How would we know that when we never see him? I guess that's all right, though, as long as he isn't sleeping with the fishes. But where is that dog? Segundo, not Victor. Ha! Everyone always seems to know where the mustached mangy mutt is. Victor always makes himself known, wherever he goes.

Indeed, Victor (sans Segundo) was up to no good, although he adamantly claimed his villainy did not go so far as to have two thugs beat up Dylan. After all, Victor's diabolical schemes were for business, not pleasure...I mean, not for personal reasons. He's such a saint! Seriously, I do believe Victor's takeover of the warehouse district was nothing personal against Dylan, who has only been an obstacle that still needs to be removed. Actually, I suspect that the method of Victor's madness was to make Chancellor Industries profitable so he could keep the company out of the hands of his real nemeses, Jack and Jill. And that's no nursery rhyme.

I would love to see Jill, fueled by Colin's underhandedness, go toe-to-toe against Victor for the realm of Chancellor Industries, and it would be great for her to be the "victor" for a change. It's time she used her smarts and savvy again as the head of a company. The worldly women of today enjoy watching stories about other ladies of success and Y&R has the strongest women in daytime television. That's why it was so frustrating for female viewers to watch Sharon constantly being played out as a victim. She's too good for that, and we want to see Sharon succeed, both in business and as a mother. We independent females have proven time and time again that we can have it all, and that should be shown in our serial dramas. We have arrived, baby!

Jill sure gave it her best shot in trying to get Chancellor Industries away from Victor, but it will take more than the money she had saved for a rainy day in her piggy bank to come up with the ransom Victor was demanding. Colin was absolutely correct when he said Jill would need his "wicked, wicked ways" to help her succeed. Colin, Cane and Jill all realized that they would need an investor but did Colin have someone in mind? Of course he did -- that eternal fountain of good fortune and lots of loot, Devon. Shoot, if Victor could hold Chancellor Industries hostage, why couldn't Colin use a little blackmail on Devon to get the company back for Jill?

After all, Colin was a sharp little Aussie cookie, and his ears were wide open when he overheard Gwen say that Devon had split to territory unknown for business reasons. Since Colin's no dummy, he guessed immediately that Devon was keeping a secret tryst with Neil's wife, Hilary. Only it was rather messy since Lily was Hilary's "roomie" at the spa retreat. Oh, yet another tangled web. Come on, can Devon be any more obvious by flaunting his affair with their father's wife right under his sister's nose? He might as well just announce his fling with Hilary on the biggest billboard in Genoa City. Or maybe he could do some fancy skywriting and propose marriage to Hilary? Who cares if she's still legally tied to Neil? Devon seems to be trying to get caught and it doesn't matter who gets hurt. I still cannot believe that he cares so little for the man who raised him as his own son. I guess this is the thanks Neil gets for giving Devon his love and support throughout the years.

I find it interesting how Hilary keeps justifying her acts of betrayal. She actually blamed her affair on Neil because she feared if she told him the truth, he would start drinking again, and she didn't want to be the one to "push him off the wagon." Okay, so just keep cheating on him. Nothing wrong with that. But this all worked in Colin's favor because Devon's rendezvous with Hilary fueled Colin with the ammunition he needed to help Jill get the Chancellor part of Newman-Chancellor from Victor. I wonder why Colin won't tell Jill what his "investment" is, though. Would Jill refuse to accept the money if she knew where it came from and why? I wouldn't think so. Jill has done a lot worse in the past. But she would probably disclose the truth to Neil, which would stop the money from flowing for Colin. A soap must have lies and secrets, so a secret it will remain -- for now anyway.

Since Devon and Hilary have done so little to keep their affair secret, it didn't take any time at all for Colin to get the money, which he then delivered to Jill on a silver platter. I totally agreed with Colin when he pointed out that Devon had a funny way of proving his love for his father. Ain't that the truth? I think Neil might finally be realizing that Hilary is not happy. She was so obviously not in the mood when he kissed her after she unexpectedly returned home. Hilary's passionate love for Devon must finally be winning over her security blanket devotion for Neil. She's been having her cake and eating it, too, for far too long, and since she's too insincere and selfish to make a choice, something needs to happen to take the choice out of her hands.

Victor seems to have his hand in everything these days, and thank goodness, Ashley had the good sense early on to realize that one of his weapons was a mole that he placed in her company. Poor Tobias was not long for employment at Jabot, and his days looked rather numbered at Newman-Chancellor, also, since he turned out to be a rather crummy mole. Ashley guessed that since Tobias was so inept in his mission, there had to be another, better mole afoot. Little did she know that the critter was actually a bug -- one that Victor had planted in the lab. Really? If you thought a competitor was trying to steal your secrets, wouldn't that be the first thing you would do -- sweep for bugs? And Ashley's idea of divulging a fake rare exotic extract from Central America would have had a chance of working if it weren't for that darned bug.

At least the truth came out why Abby had taken a sample of the love potion though. She had planned to use it on an unsuspecting Victoria so that she would fall head-over-heels in love with Billy -- again. It's not like Victoria was completely over Billy anyway. But gosh, it's almost a shame that we didn't get to see Abby try to carry that out. It would have been fun, especially if her plan had backfired and someone else had unintentionally wound up being dosed with the formula. Wouldn't it be entertaining to see Victor and Jill, a mismatched couple if ever we saw one, be paired up? That would be wild! And Colin could be included to make a terrifying yet fun triangle. (Don't worry...Nikki could have her own triangle going with Paul and Christine.) Couldn't you just picture Victor and Colin jousting over the heart of the "kind and generous" damsel, Jill? All is fair in love and war -- and the battle over Chancellor. Let the games begin! (If only...!)

Avery felt that Victor wasn't behind Dylan's beating because she believed that honor belonged to Joe. And she was probably right about it, although he denied it, of course. I think Joe would look for any excuse to punch Dylan's lights out, even if he wasn't able to do it with his own hands. Sure, Joe said his relationship with Avery failed because he was a workaholic, but I somehow think those are just words to him. Deep down, Joe blames Dylan for the breakup of his marriage, and he wants to make Dylan pay. I have to wonder which Joe wants more: Avery back as his wife or making Dylan suffer for daring to try to make her happy.

Would Joe still want Avery if he were successful in recapturing her heart or would she be just a trophy that he could place on his mantel? Is Joe just pursuing Avery much as he would chase after a much sought-after, prized business venture? Would his interest wane (again) once he achieved his goal? Avery is a pretty sharp lady, and she should be able to see through this ploy if that were the case. It would almost be like a game of chess with each party deciding who should make the next strategic move. There was a reason she turned to Dylan the first time around, and she remembered that when Joe tried to make her his "pawn."

Joe relented and promised no more phone calls or other threats on Dylan's life -- if Avery would spend just one night with him. This is another story that could have played out in having Avery sleep with Joe on the sly in order to keep her lover safe. She knows about Dylan's hair-trigger temper. But before Avery had a chance to respond, Dylan busted in the door with guns a-flying. Well, I guess maybe the gun he had was in his pocket, but he did have a wild gleam in his eye. If looks could kill, Dylan's would have slain the dragon, Joe. Still, Dylan with a gun cannot be a good thing. Just how long will it take before he uses it on Joe? Or Victor?

Another forceful lady who needs to beware, although she doesn't know it, is Chelsea, now that Adam has decided he wants to reclaim what's he thinks is rightfully his. I give Chelsea a lot of credit for trying to be her own person and for not letting others make her decisions for her. Hey, she stood up to Victor when it came to Connor, so she's no slouch. Unfortunately, her love of Adam has caused her to let her guard down some. Sure, Chelsea's radar may not have even flickered with "Mr. Bingham," but Billy's was going off like crazy. Billy knew that something was just not right with "Gabriel," but he couldn't put his finger on it. But boy, did Chelsea freak out when dear "Gabe" talked about something that she had done in the past. Adam slipped up because he desires for Chelsea to know the truth. Maybe it wasn't a slip.

Unfortunately for Adam, he overplayed his hand, since she requested that any future meetings together be done at Jabot. Adam may be down, but I wouldn't count him out just yet. Since Adam knows that he could potentially be arrested if his identity were to become known, which would cause Chelsea nothing but heartache and pain, shouldn't he just let her go so she can move on with her life, especially if he truly loved her? But no, he has decided that he wants his family back, and nothing is going to prevent that from happening. And Adam sure has the power to mess up Billy's life too. It's just a shame that Billy doesn't realize that. Maybe his brother should fill him in, huh? How do you think Billy will feel once he learns that Jack has known, for quite some time, that Gabriel is really Adam?

Wow, I just realized that Faith and Adam have something in common -- they both wish to have their families back together. And the odds are not good that either of them will get their wish. Try a falling star, you two. Chelsea's advice for Sharon to dig up dirt on Nick will only anger him and will make him want to prove, even more, that Sharon is an unfit mother.

Sage appeared to be in Faith's plan to reunite her parents though. Actually, now that I think about it, when she started pumping Nick for information about Gabriel, Sage made herself a big factor in how both Adam's and Faith's stories will play out. That means that she has made herself a target for Faith (and possibly Sharon) to use against Nick. That Faith is rather crafty. I don't think I would want her as an enemy, especially if I were interested in Nick. Avery learned that the hard way.

Apparently, Faith saw Nick's interaction with Sage as a replay of his past relationship with Avery. It was the same actress, Mckenna Grace, at the time, so somehow this just seems very appropriate. Mckenna's Faith was such a terror then, and Sharon will need a bratty Faith to help her in the custody battle over her daughter. Faith has already given Sharon some dirt by telling her that she overheard Nick tell the lady to take her clothes off. To Faith, every time her daddy is split up from her mommy, she has to share her special time with her daddy with some buttinsky lady.

Nick only saw that Faith was just throwing a tantrum. Nick is really taking the whole thing way too lightly. He's the one who started the custody battle, so he needs to do whatever it takes to show that he would be the best parent. My guess is that would not include entertaining a lady in his bathrobe in his living room with his young daughter present.

Jack sure had his hands full too. I have to honestly say that I believed Phyllis did not pull those pranks on Kelly, and I thought Kelly was gaslighting her. I have always felt that Phyllis underestimated Kelly. Phyllis really looked like she was totally innocent of any wrongdoing, and maybe she truly believed that she was. But maybe Jack was onto something when he suspected that the side effects of the drugs Victor's doctor pumped into Phyllis were making her a little wacko.

Phyllis did look a little out of it as she modeled the blonde wig in front of the mirror. Could she be pulling those stunts and just not remember doing it? Andr Gide said it best, "The most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes." This saying may just summarize Phyllis at her best in any situation she tends to create for herself. Beautiful but possibly deadly.

Or could it be Kelly who is so desperate for Jack's love that she even poisoned herself to try to get him back? Phyllis had a point when she declared that she had already won Jack and that it wouldn't make sense for her to wear a blonde wig to the flower shop and then give the florist her name. Was Kelly just trying to make Phyllis look loopy? I laughed when Phyllis called Kelly a "pure and innocent little flower," whose job was "folding napkins into swans." She does have a way with words.

But if this was Kelly's plot, she did create doubt in Jack's mind, since he invited "the doctor with the magic coma juice" over to discuss Phyllis' case. And Phyllis, never one to do herself any favors, pointed out that at least Victor had pulled strings to bring Phyllis out of her coma, which was more than Jack had ever done. Ouch! That's not the best way to keep the heart of the one you love, my dear.

But the minute I thought it might be Phyllis, Kelly gave me another reason to lean back toward her being the culprit. Sure, Kelly was poisoned, but it was with a non-lethal dose then she called the poisoning an accident so the hospital would not report it to the police, who would then investigate. I don't know. If someone was attempting to kill me, I would run to the cops and demand that they arrest the attempted murderer. That would be a crime, Kelly -- unless you have something to hide, that is. Kelly just moaned and whined about how Jack had made the wrong choice and that Phyllis had Kelly's life with Jack. But then Kelly told Stitch she had wanted a truce with Phyllis, but you could have fooled me. Kelly gave as good as she got in her latest confrontation with Phyllis.

Unfortunately, Phyllis tends to be her own worst enemy, and all her words and actions made it appear she was the one doing the dirty deeds. And Doctor Cutler wasn't helping her case any. Jack strong-armed th doctor into telling him that some of his patients did experience slight shifts in personality, which consisted of "a lack of emotion, a loss of empathy, and questionable decision-making." Of course, the latter describes Phyllis on any given day ,but seriously, all those traits could be attributed to either lady. So, was it Phyllis because of her coma treatment or could it be Kelly due to her desperate need to hang on to Jack? The debate continues!

I am back to thinking that this is Kelly's plot to get Jack away from Phyllis, but since Phyllis will continue to be uhh...Phyllis, the blame will fall on her. Her words and actions will continue to make her look guilty. After Phyllis smashed a vase in front of Jack, she realized that while self-control had always been an issue for her, the drugs may have caused her to lose her grip on reality. Well, Kelly, if this is indeed your scheme, it seems to be backfiring, since Jack promised Phyllis to stand by her, no matter what happened. Yes, Kel-kel, you should have realized Jack would never desert Phyllis if he felt she needed medical attention. And actually, Kelly, your neediness has not been the least bit flattering or endearing. It will be fun to see your next plan of action though.

I had always liked Michelle Stafford's Phyllis with Jack, and I can say that I am completely enamored with having Gina Tognoni's Phyllis paired with Jack also. I think this is my favorite storyline now because I really have not been sure which way it was headed. There have been so many twists and turns so far that it has been quite enjoyable to watch. This story has kept me guessing, and that's always a good thing. Plus, I have been thoroughly entertained by the acting. Peter Bergman, Gina Tognoni, and Cady McClain have all won Daytime Emmy awards in the past, and you can certainly see why. They have been knocking it out of the ballpark in every scene. Bravo!

Okay, now Michael has decided that former chipmunk head, Kevin, should be the executor of his will? Shouldn't that be something Michael discusses with his wife? I mean, Lauren's not exactly a wilting rose who fades away at a moment's notice. Don't get me wrong. I love Kevin and the camaraderie he has with his brother. I just think that Lauren should be included in the decision about Michael's will. Michael must not know his wife very well if he thinks she wouldn't be strong enough to handle it. Lauren has always seemed to be a survivor to me, and with her friends' and family's support, she could get through the tragedy of his death, which we hope won't be happening anytime soon.

When Kevin was not busy supporting Michael, he was trying to stop Mariah from self-destructing. It's true that Mariah and Kevin are a lot alike in that they both had bad childhoods, lacked impulse control, and were plagued by bad decision-making. (Hey, that last quality puts them in the same category as Phyllis. That should put a scare in them.) But those are also the very reasons they are so good together. Kevin understands Mariah very well, and he is the only person she feels she can rely on. Austin was right in hoping that Mariah wouldn't blow it with Kevin because I think she would really regret that. Mariah knows she can go to Kevin for support -- and hugs.

But Summer was especially nasty to Mariah when she said that Mariah was pathetic and awful, which was why no one wanted to be around her. Summer pretty much showed her true colors. I am glad Austin overheard his "precious snowflake" say that because she can be pretty petty at times. She's not always as goody-goody as everyone thinks she is. So, who's the real loser of the couple? Fen was just jealous when he made his remarks about Austin. He more than likely still has a thing for Summer, and he doesn't want to see her with anyone else. If Summer listened to Fen and his negative comments, that's on her.

<So, just who was little Connor pointing to when he said, "Da-da"? Billy or Adam?

I loved it when Victor learned that Jack was asked to be Katherine Rose's godfather. Take that, Victor!

Phyllis, a.k.a. "the rabid, pissed-off former coma patient," offered up an embarrassment of riches in colorful phrases, but Kelly had one herself. After Phyllis declared that she knew what Jack wanted, Kelly observed, "Well, according to you, he wants a deranged fiance waving a wig around a public place." Clever writing and a funny exchange.

How ironic that Nick expressed to Sage that the once reckless and crazy screw-up, Gabe, who used to play practical jokes, had changed. "It's like the guy I knew in boarding school never existed." Oh, if you only knew, Nick.

I have to admit that Adam had the perfect slogan for Chelsea's designs. "Be yourself." Adam knew his wife very well, and he still saw her as the smart and driven lady who knew exactly what she wanted. Maybe Michael should follow suit and pay more attention to what his wife is really all about.

Mariah could have sung her own song about her behavior at the birthday gathering, "It's my party and I can get angry and leave if I want to. Get angry and leave if I want to. Get angry and leave if I want to. You would be angry, too, if it happened to you." Lesley Gore would probably not approve though.

What is the deal with all the ladies of Genoa City barging through the doors of other peoples' domiciles -- without even knocking?! I have commented on this before, but it has really gotten out of hand now. I can almost understand why Sharon would fly through, since she thought something had happened to Nick, thanks to Faith. But for Kelly to make her grand entrance and big announcement at Jack's place without even first ringing the doorbell? Outrageous! But then, of course, if Kelly had knocked first, her entrance wouldn't have been so grand.

I loved it when Phyllis screamed that the deranged Kelly made her look like "some freaky psycho killer" who could only claim that "the devil made me do it." Shades of Flip Wilson's Geraldine!When Lily seduced Cane and let him take control, I noticed a tag sticking up from the back of her frilly, lacy bra. You know, these types of things happen in real life, so why not present it in soaps also?

That's it for now. Curly hair or straight, excess weight or not, if you are the best person you can be, please be happy with that and follow Chelsea's slogan, "Be Yourself." The world needs a positive energy that only we, as individuals, can bring in our own unique way.

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts. You can leave your comments below in the comments section, you can click here to submit Feedback, or you can call our 24/7 caller feedback hotline at 267.341.7627 and voice your thoughts.