Adam and Eve and the grate escape

For the Week of December 4, 2023
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A dead baby is possibly living, years of sobriety are back to day one, a lunatic is hiding in the air vents, another cop quits the GCPD, and no one is doing it enough to suit our Two Scoops columnist. Let's unpack it all in this week's Two Scoops.

Dear readers, I couldn't resist the Biblical reference, since Eve may have returned from the dead and Adam seems to be experiencing a rebirth. I mean, it was just begging for me to use it.

Is Claire truly baby Eve all grown up? The ages work. Hayley Erin is 29 in real life, and Amelia Heinle is 50, so they could be mother and daughter, although Amelia never ages! Is it possible that sick, twisted Aunt Jordan stole Eve, replaced her with a different dead baby, and kept it a secret for 30 years? Imagine if, 30 years from now, baby Ava shows up and kidnaps Adam and Sally, or baby Delia shows up and poisons Chloe and Billy, or if we find out that Mariah is Cassie and has been playing everyone all this time! Remember that soaps can rewrite their history on a whim, and nothing we know about the past is solid.

It's very soapalicious when presumed-deceased people return from the dead on soaps. Is it campy? Yes, but that's part of the fun. I love it when soaps revisit their history or revamp a storyline from the past to liven things up. Y&R did that this year with Cameron Kirsten and now again with Eve Howard. It's a nod to longtime viewers who remember the original story and a way to give newer viewers a glimpse of the show's fabled past.

Viewers wonder if Claire is Eve, and I can't imagine she isn't. There is no story if Claire is not Eve. But if she is Eve, imagine Victoria and Cole trying to learn to accept a troubled daughter who wants to kill them. Imagine them ever trusting a child who was brainwashed to hate them her entire life. Now, there is a soap plot.

It shakes things up. I have been whining that nothing has happened, and something finally happened! I'm delighted. I have never seen Colleen Zenk in action before, and she is a magnificent, unhinged soap villain. When Claire was handcuffed and hauled away, Aunt Jordan's eyes were peering out through the air ducts. I got the impression we were not done with Jordan yet.

Everyone has an opinion, and in my opinion, this was fun. We needed a break from the constant battle over Jabot, Newman Media, Chancellor-Winters, etc., something out of the ordinary. More, please!

Since we talked about Eve, we must speak of Adam next. Adam and Sally are taking slow, tentative steps toward exploring a relationship. There was talk of a dinner date, a toe in the water here, a delicate kiss there, and a rule for Adam not to walk Sally to her door. Girl, if you want him so bad that you can't say no if he's at your door, get back with him and have a ball. That's my advice. I don't know why we work so hard not to let ourselves have what we want. Life is short.

Speaking of which, I just returned from a 25th anniversary cruise. In a very non-soapy fashion, I managed to stay with the same guy for over three decades, and he put up with me for that long, too. Miraculous. I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday and ate obscene amounts of food. I am thankful for you, Soap Central, and our fearless leader, Dan.

I am also thankful that the powers that be finally let us see the big blowout fight between Ashley and Tucker. While Tucker's words were cruel, I've seen worse. A lot of what Tucker said was true. Ashley promised a life with him, starting a new company together, and then she pulled the plug. He wasn't kind in his delivery, but factually, a lot of what he said to Ashley was accurate. I like the two of them together, and I was frustrated when the writers urged us to invest in their relationship only to watch them marry and then see their marriage blow up a day later.

I hope Ashley and Tucker will reconcile by New Year's Eve in some romantic When Harry Met Sally way, and Tucker runs into some elegant ball where Ashley is in an evening gown and Tucker's in sweats, declaring his love for her. It probably won't happen, but it's fun to daydream.

I am having trouble deciding how to daydream for Summer. Should I daydream about her with Kyle or Chance? I think Chance. I don't like Chance and Sharon together. If they are your favorite couple, sorry for upsetting you, but they are uninteresting to me.

When Chance thanked Summer for being a good friend and talked him through his decision to leave the GCPD, I saw Sharon tense up. I hope she is starting to realize that Chance and Summer have a special connection. On the other hand, Kyle is a brat, and frankly, I think Summer has outgrown him. Was Summer wrong to keep Kyle in the dark while his mother sat in jail for a murder she didn't commit? Yes, she should have told him. Since that time, she has grown and changed, but I don't think Kyle has matured at the same pace. He and Audra are a pair. Kyle will switch back to team Tucker for real if things don't go his way quickly enough.

I blame Diane for that. Kyle came to her and told her what Tucker was up to, and she convinced him to work another angle instead of telling Jack the truth. When Jack eventually discovers the game Kyle has been playing, he will be furious with Kyle and Diane. They are both newcomers to the company Jack has been faithfully guarding since his dad passed away. The stakes are much higher for Jack than for Diane and Kyle. If they screw up and let Tucker take control, I don't think Jack and Diane would be able to come back from that one.

Ashley and Diane are starting to get along. What's next? A Christmas cookie baking party with Phyllis, Diane, Ashley, and drunk Nikki?

Poor Nikki. That evil witch filled her I.V. bag with booze, and now, in next week's previews, she is standing with a shot glass of vodka, staring it down. If only Katherine Chancellor were here to talk Nikki out of drinking it! I think it's time Nikki finds a new A.A. sponsor. I hope we are not going down the drunk Nikki path for too long again. Her sobriety has been solid and steady for a while now, and I hope she can overcome what that creepy Aunt Jordan did to her. I bet Nikki will never try to surprise her sister again. Next time, tell everyone where you are going and put an Apple Air tag in your bra.

Everyone in this storyline was on their A game. Eric Braeden, Melody Thomas Scott, Hayley Erin, and Amelia Heinle were magnificent. In the scenes where Claire is telling Cole and Victoria that she is Eve, the baby they lost, we see all the emotions and shock crash in waves over their faces with each new accusation hurled at them from their presumed-dead daughter. Next week's previews indicate Cole is taking Claire's words to heart. Could she possibly be Eve? I smell a DNA test coming. Maybe we will get an Elena sighting because, just like the GCPD, I think the hospital is grossly understaffed.

Also in next week's previews, there is a scene where Jill is trying to convince Billy to come back to Chancellor and work with her. Little does Jill know that Mamie and Tucker are partnering to kick her out. It would be Billy's luck to give up his cushy co-CEO job at Jabot only to get the boot at Chancellor. Kyle will jump into that chair like an Olympic pole vaulter if Billy leaves.

Readers, is it just me, or are romances moving too slowly? For instance, if Billy and Chelsea are going to be a couple, then let them be a couple and give us real romance: fewer coffee dates and more Champagne and lingerie dates. I am tired of all this caution. Adam and Sally, Chelsea and Billy, Summer and Chance, Danny and Cricket, Daniel and Heather are tiptoeing around each other. In real life, yes, absolutely use caution. But on soaps, I want to see wild abandon. Make it extra messy and confusing. Not sure who you want to be with? Fine, sleep with both and see which you prefer. I want to watch beautiful people having steamy sex and throwing caution to the wind. Is that too much to ask?

I wonder if Nate and Audra are next. Victoria has dumped Nate, and Audra was circling Nate this week. When she finds out that Kyle is double-crossing her, will she peg Nate as her next lap dog?

As for Victoria, I still wish she and Billy would reunite. When the Newman family was missing last week, Billy was the only person who seemed genuinely worried about them and insisted on finding out where Victoria was. I hope when she gets home, he holds her with the same intensity he had when he was concerned that she was missing. Let Victoria realize once and for all that despite Billy's flaws, he loves her more than Ashland Locke, Nate, and all the other losers she has dated over the years. I also believe Jason Thompson has much more to offer than the writers ever write for Billy. I hope 2024 will bring him a juicy storyline that flexes his acting muscles.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will any of us ever take a bottle of water from a stranger again? Will the police consider bringing K-9s in the next time they search for Jordan to sniff her out of the vents? Will the GCPD finally have to hire some new cops, since they are now down Paul, Chance, Dylan, and Rey? Will anyone realize Sharon is the GCPD curse, and she should not be allowed to date any more policemen? Will Connor come home to sulk for Christmas, or must he stay at boarding school with Paul Giamatti?

What will Santa bring the fine folks of Genoa City for Christmas? (I'm rooting for a billionaire who buys out Jabot, Chancellor, Newman, and Kirsten Inc. and puts all the town out of work. Imagine the Newmans and Abbotts having to work retail.) Will Chance and Billy both go to work for Jill and fight like Jack and Billy do? Will Danny write a new holiday song to sing around the Christmas tree at the Genoa City Christmas tree lighting? Will Gloria do something stupid or illegal and ruin the Baldwin family Christmas?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in as long as there are tomorrows.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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