Guilty of stupidity in the first degree

For the Week of April 11, 2011
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Guilty of stupidity in the first degree
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Sharon Newman was found guilty of murder this week. She's not really guilty of the crime, however, so it's a miscarriage of justice.

Sharon Newman was found guilty of murder this week. She's not really guilty of the crime, however, so it's a miscarriage of justice. However, Sharon is guilty of being about as sharp as a bowl of JELL-O. Sorry, fans, but Sharon is really her own worst enemy. I'm not even talking about her choosing Adam over Nick. I'm referring to her ill-advised trip to Hawaii, followed by her ill-advised attempt to use Faith's birth certificate to get a fake passport so she could fly to Thailand to search for Adam, which landed her right back in jail. That is not the decision-making of a woman with a good head on her shoulders. Pretty blonde hair, faulty gray matter.

Noah returned home to visit his mom this past week, and how sad was it for Sharon to hear her teenaged son say he feels sorry for his baby sister because she'll never have the mother he had as a boy? Talk about a low blow. It wasn't that Noah was trying to be cruel to Sharon, he was just calling it like he saw it. Sharon has screwed up her life in a major way. And that wasn't even including the final coup de grâce for Sharon, escaping from custody after being found guilty of murder! That's the perfect way to convince the world that you're really innocent.

Was Sharon being railroaded by the system? Yes, definitely! But going on the run so that you can find the evidence to clear yourself is just a ridiculous plan. Sharon should have known better than to take Adam's advice. I mean, look at his track record. Adam always makes the wrong choices. He's like the world's worst diabolical villain because every evil scheme blows up in his face. Didn't Austin Powers have to defeat a villain like that in the movies? You know, I can think of only one thing that Adam's done that's been 100 percent successful. He sprung Patty Williams from the mental hospital and sent her to South America...never to be seen again (yet)!

Sharon's trial was one of the worst I've ever seen on television. I'm not a lawyer, and I don't play one on TV, but even I know that Vance and Leslie blew it. For starters, all they had to do was create reasonable doubt. That means just one juror had to question whether Sharon had really killed Skye. Considering the fact that there were no witnesses, no body, and no plausible motive, reasonable doubt should have been a cinch to establish. There was no physical evidence to prove that Sharon had done it, and Victor established that he'd heard Sharon trying to save Skye. How could a jury have found Sharon guilty under those circumstances? Why didn't they poll the jurors?

The answer, of course, is that Maria Arena Bell wanted her to be guilty so they could write a crazy story about Sharon on the run. Trust me when I tell you that this is going to be laughable. Sharon is not cut out to be a fugitive. She's not clever enough to elude the authorities, to stay off the grid, to figure out how to survive on just her wits alone. I don't think she's smart enough to make it out of Wisconsin, but Maria will make it so with some creative scripting. Be prepared to giggle...a lot.

Didn't you love how Victor wanted Michael to be Sharon's attorney after she'd lost the case? Where were Victor and Michael when she was indicted? Great timing, fellas. Of course, Nikki and Katherine think it's admirable that Victor took the stand for Sharon, but they don't know the truth like we do. Victor let Skye die. He had the chance to intervene and help Sharon pull Skye to safety, and he chose not to. In my book, that makes him the one who's guilty of murder. If he had tried and failed, then I'd give him a pass, but that wasn't the case. What Victor did that night in Hawaii was unforgivable, which is probably why he never told anyone the whole truth.

Speaking of the truth, there are times when honesty is not the best policy. Take Daniel's story, for instance. He's doing right by his daughter by keeping secret the fact that she's the baby that Daisy abandoned at the church and Billy brought home to Victoria. If Daniel were to tell his mother or Kevin the truth, little Lucy's world will be shattered because they'd want to take her away from Victoria and Billy. They'll claim it's best for Lucy, but what they'd mean is that it's best for them. Daniel is happy with the way his daughter is being loved and cared for by Victoria and Billy. He's actually proving that he's a good father by allowing her to remain there with nobody knowing the truth (but him and Lily).

That's why I was ticked off at Michael and Lauren for their assault on Daniel. Their attitude was way out of character, too. Normally, they're levelheaded and understanding of other people's flaws. They should have accepted the reality of what happened in Saskatoon, especially since there was no going back. What was gained by berating and badgering Daniel about his goofy plan to follow Daisy to find the baby? All right, so it was a big, fat lie, and Michael guessed that Daniel had purposely let Daisy go. That still wasn't bringing Daisy back, was it? I'm kind of surprised that Daniel took all that abuse. He would have been well within his rights to have walked out on all of them, waving the middle finger as he departed.

I never thought I'd say this in a million years, but I feel bad for Jana. I've railed before about what a bitch Chloe is, but this past week was more proof that she's a mean girl at heart. Chloe already has Kevin. They're together. So why can't she leave Jana alone? What business is it of Chloe, and her sidekick Gloria, if Jana's got a baby pillow and sonogram pictures? Maybe breaking into Jana's apartment would be silly fun if this was a comedy, but it's not. Chloe and Gloria are not Lucy and Ethel. Chloe has sincerely tried to get Jana fired from her jobs, and that's not fair. In fact, if Chloe wants to screw up her relationship with Kevin, this might do it. Chloe's made Jana appear a sympathetic figure. Gloria and Chloe deserved to be chucked into county jail for burglary!

So now we know why Victor and Katherine are such good friends. They both think alike. When Victor needed to protect himself and Newman Enterprises, he let the SEC arrest Victoria (on her wedding day no less). This past week, Kay chose to report her son, Tucker, to the SEC because she doesn't like the way he's conducting business. That, to me, is a blatant abuse of power. I hope the SEC slaps her with a fine for instigating an investigation based on her prejudice alone. Tucker's only guilty of being aggressive and ambitious. He's done nothing illegal in acquiring Newman stock, and Kay was out of line by reporting him. Like I wrote last time, there's something very two-faced and hypocritical about Kay when it comes to her flesh and blood.

If Phyllis wants to prove that she's a professional journalist, she might want to stop creating the news. It's one thing to report what's happened, it's quite another to make it happen. But nobody takes Phyllis seriously as a writer, do they? She's a gossipmonger with a computer. She a reporter the way Abby is a reality TV star!

You know, it might seem like I was hard on Sharon for being dumb, but she's not alone in being a dim bulb. Let's talk about Malcolm. At least this Malcolm, the one that actor Darius McCrary is playing. When Shemar Moore had the role, Malcolm was a smart cookie. Not anymore. Maybe Maria needed to recast the role to make Malcolm this stupid and oblivious and unaware. For some reason, he hasn't a clue about Sofia and Neil. He hasn't picked up any of the signs and steamy sidelong glances.

Neil should have known better than to ever get cozy with Sofia, but he's a guy and this is a soap opera, so he went after her. They may have been together just once, but once is all it takes. Now Neil is stuck between a rock and a hard place; if he tells Malcolm the truth, he'll probably lose his brother. But if he doesn't tell him and Malcolm finds out, he'll still lose his brother. Any way you slice it, Neil should have kept his hands off Sofia, and vice versa.

That's it for now. Can't wait to see what happens next week! Let's take a look at some recent notes from the mailbox:

  • Great column! Melody Thomas Scott plays a great 'drunk Nikki' but I have to say I look forward to Nikki finding her way back to AA rather than into the inviting arms of another bottle of vodka! We did see that Deacon cared enough to give her the serenity prayer; whereas, everyone else is too busy with their own drama to see the obvious. Even Kay is too busy coddling Victor to see what's happening with 'her dear friend Nikki.' Kay is too busy preaching family values to Tucker while treating her family like crap; do as I say not as I do is the mantra here. Most obviously; Victor is working on his winning plan; we knew he wouldn't remain the loser for long, that in the end he will be the victor. I'm sure that if all goes according to his plan, the Newman children will use their settlement money to buy into Newman and it will once again have them under his thumb. As the saying goes; the more things change, the more they stay the same. Maybe next month the show will be more exciting, but for now; the Newman hour isn't thrilling me. The Adam and Phyllis hunt for Koa is horrible. Overall, Y&R is a great cure for insomnia and little more. Oh, how I miss the days of Y&R with Bill Bell; now that was great entertainment. -- Judy M.

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    Best,
    Allison

    Allison J. Waldman
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