Sally Spectra is, like, totally dragging us back to the eighties

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Forrester Creations could use some competition, but can Sally and Saul 2.0 bring something original to The Bold and the Beautiful? We're two scoops deep in revisions this week on B&B.

Everybody loves The Bold and the Beautiful history. Everybody loves Sally Spectra. The big question is -- does everybody love synth Sally Spectra?

If you're a gamer, you know what synth is. If you're not, you can probably guess the definition by the new characters who showed up in Los Angeles this week. The term derives, as far as I know, from Bethesda's Fallout 4, and it refers to a robotic human clone. These clones either live as humans or infiltrate human settlements by abducting and replacing people.

In that world, your wife or your son could be a synth, and you don't even know it. In B&B's world, synths are prevalent and obvious. In fact, they will tell you that they are synths, and they are proud of it. Like Steffy, Rick, Bill, and Caroline. So far, B&B's synths rarely look like, dress like, or act like the people they replace. That all changed when Synths Sally and Saul arrived.

This week, viewers were introduced to carbon copies of Sally Spectra and Saul Feinberg. Do they fit the pattern, or do writers need to knock off making character knockoffs?

In other developments this week, Katie took one small step for skanks and one giant leap for adulteresses worldwide when the cat got her tongue under Ridge's scrutiny of her prowling around Quinn's husband.

Speaking of cats, Liam thought it was funny to make Steffy think she'd forgotten their pet iguana. But what about Bu, Liam? What about Bu? Could Bu be hiding beneath Steffy's Elvira bouffant with the imaginary iguana's carcass? Scared to check what might be under there, Liam? Then hide Steffy's weaves and hairspray from now on.

Someone's finally got their tsunami wave hair under control, and that's Thomas. He's still wearing those vomit print shirts and highwater pencil pants, but they're less nauseating to me with the new, slick hairdo to admire. Some of that hair jelly seeped into his ego, and this week, he let it slip-slide him right into Rick's coven of jealousy and bitterness about the CEO spot they each covet.

Ridge is coveting something, and it ain't the job he just got. It's his father's wife. What's new, right? Ridge is like a bee pollinating flowers when it comes to women -- especially other Forresters' spouses, and it's starting to look like Bill is right to wait for Ridge to fly on over to the Venus Fly Trap, thus ending Bridge for the final time. The only problem is that I just don't see Ridge's sloppy seconds as Bill's style. Do you?

So much happened this week that we're gonna have to scoop it in courses. Grab your seat at the table because the appetizers are being served.

Three makes a triangle, but three squared makes a cesspool

We are used to triangle relationships. We are even used to square ones. But what do you call Bill/Brooke/Ridge/Quinn/Eric/Katie? So it goes like this -- Bill wants Brooke, who wants to marry Ridge, who is sexually drawn to Quinn, who is married to his father, who keeps desiring visits from Katie, who cares about Eric a little too much these days.

The unique things about this polygon are that no one is having inappropriate sex, none of the six has teamed up with another party in the six to take a relationship down for their own gain, and there has been very little inappropriate touching for the number of people involved.

Brooke has been all giggles and makeouts with Ridge since she arrived back from Milan. Meanwhile, Bill is as steady as the Statue of Liberty in holding his torch for her. Bill, put it down already. You sound just as ridiculous as Liam, who held his torch for Steffy while she was giggling in bed with Wyatt.

You can tell me what you think, but I personally can't stand to see a person proclaim undying love and devotion to a person who is, at the same time, having the time of their life with another lover. That lover then gets to pick between the two and start having the time of their life with the other person who sat in the romance lobby, waiting their turn.

It just happened with Steffy and Liam. Steffy never faced any consequences from Liam for marrying Wyatt and staying married to him for so long. The angriest Liam got was when Steffy left him at home too long without walking him, so he decided to break loose and crap at the airport. Three guesses as to where Liam was headed, guys. Mine are to Milan, to Hope, and to Italy.

It seems Bill will be the same way. He'll just bide his time, making paper jets out of his magazine pages or writing about the Synths in town, namely Sally Spectra. I have a feeling he'll hate her as he did Amber, and thus, she should be paired with Wyatt to give Bill something to do besides verbally planting his flag on Ridge's land until Brooke finally forecloses on Ridge.

I'd prefer it if Bill moved on, held it against Brooke, or at least broke into hives from being near Brooke after she's sexed Ridge. Bill was strong last year when he questioned her divided heart, but now he's back to praying to himself and waiting -- and drinking beer with Rick, of all people, as the preview for Monday shows. It has to be an all-time low for Bill, but if the two have anything in common, it's their devotion to Brooke and abhorrence of Ridge.

Eric apparently doesn't know he's in two triangles, the one with Ridge and Quinn or the one with Katie and Quinn. Or the other one I just thought of with Quinn and Pam! How many women can one husband have fawning over him? The answer is two too many, and Pam and Katie are really something else with the nerve they had in Quinn's house recently.

Imagine if you are married and the sister of your husband's dead wife bakes in your kitchen when she feels like it. Then she invites over a woman you do not like and who you think has too close of a relationship with your husband. She tells this woman to sneak in at that! After they are done talking about you like a dog in your own kitchen, the woman you don't like comes into your living room and interrogates you in your own home!

Katie really busted my last nerve when Quinn asked her how many times they'd talked about Katie being over there uninvited, and Katie responded that Pam had invited her. I wonder what court of law is going to agree with Katie that non-homeowner Pam can invite Katie to sneak in the home that Pam just sneaked into.

Some defend that Eric said Katie was welcome anytime. He did, but no one makes that statement for the factualness of it. They make it for the sentiment. Just like the "call me anytime" statement is not permission to call at four in the morning to be all like, "Hey. Whatcha doing? Hope I didn't wake you. Got your soccer ball over here."

We all know Katie doesn't put up with people wandering around her house because she screamed at Brooke to get out of her house and to stay away from her husband. It makes Katie the worst kind of hypocrite because she knows how it feels when someone with a so-called long history with her husband will not stay away. Plus, she knows she wants Eric.

There Katie was, lecturing Ridge on his own personal business, as usual, but in all the "Blah, blah, I know what's best for everyone but myself blah, blah" manure she shoveled, out spilled, "If I had a man like that -- "

"What?" Ridge wondered. Quinn and I wondered, too. Yeah, what, Katie? It's so true when they say that the person who lectures the most about something is usually the very person who's been doing that very thing all along.

I wonder why Quinn and Ridge haven't discussed yet their mutual sense that Katie is infatuated with Eric. I also wonder why Quinn is so worried about Ridge telling Brooke anything when mouth-almighty-tongue-everlasting Katie is Brooke's sister. Quinn and Ridge should already suspect that Katie will blab the living room twirling incident to Brooke or Eric at any time.

What do you think about it? Does Pam, as Stephanie's sister, have any right to invite anyone to Quinn's house without even asking Quinn? If you have a former in-law, can they do what Pam did with your house and feed your spouse stuff against your wishes?

You know, it's no wonder Pam was nice to Quinn on Friday. As shocking as it was, maybe Pam did it because she's starting to understand that she's not a Forrester and never has been one. As a former in-law, Pam should count herself lucky that Eric still welcomes her and that Quinn allows it. I love Pam, but facts are facts -- except the alternatives, of course.

With all I've said about that damned Katie, she had the right idea to be shocked and find Quinn and Ridge's behavior peculiar. He is supposed to be marrying her sister. Still, Katie had the wrong idea to speak on it the way she did in Quinn's house because, even though she's Brooke's sister, we all know concern for Brooke did not motivate Katie that day. And we know how unconcerned Katie really is for her sister because Brooke had to get a clue from listening at doors, not from her sister.

Brooke might be a giggly sex kitten all over again since getting back with Ridge, but her intuition is as sharp as ever. She picked up on the stammering Ridge's behavior, and she asked him about a dozen times to tell her what is going on and how he went from loathing Quinn to complimenting her.

Nothing gets past Brooke. She cut her eyes at Quinn when Quinn was glowing in satisfaction while watching Eric and Ridge hug. No amount of making out up against the door at Forrester numbed Brooke's nagging feeling that something just ain't right with Ridge and Quinn. Her suspicions were confirmed when she overheard Quinn begging Ridge not to let Brooke find out.

Brooke barged in and demanded to know what she wasn't supposed to find out, and I am really looking forward to the stammering lie Ridge comes up with. Maybe he and Quinn will concoct something stupid like a gift for Valentine's Day secret for either Brooke or Ridge. Or maybe Ridge will do the unheard of and tell the truth. On a third hand -- and we know shifty Ridge has one -- he might only tell part of the truth and leave out the lip-locking.

What are your thoughts on the six-angled romantic quagmire? Is this thing with Quinn and Ridge going to cause Brooke to return to Bill, and Eric to turn to Katie? Will Ridge and Quinn become intimate, or did the writers take it as far as they will in Quinn's fantasy of Ridge ravishing her while Eric was out of town?

The writers tend to enjoy tease fantasies without storyline consequences, as evidenced by Quinn's murderous fantasy about Katie. Maybe this kiss in San Francisco was as far over the line as the writers will take Ridge and Quinn but still use it to cause relationship controversy, the way they used Steffy and Wyatt's spooning night to send Liam into a tizzy last year. That scene was conveniently forgotten like a lot of other things in Steffy and Liam's history.

The couple on Revisionist History Lane

In addition to the Spectra flashbacks, we got more flashbacks of Liam and Steffy's tortured path to their happily ever after during the night of Liam's proposal to Steffy. Liam spoke fondly of their two weddings and threw in some "alternative facts" about the couple's history.

Liam doubled down on his past revision of Steffy's thrift store wedding dress being a Forrester original by mentioning that a photo of it in Spencer's magazine had made the issue the biggest circulated in history. Not only that, but did you know it was only outdone in the history of Eye on Fashion's circulations by her second wedding outfit? Did you also know that many, many people copied this dress, and Steffy was a trendsetter back then? These are important fashion milestones that Steffy apparently didn't even know about, and Bill didn't even try to capitalize on back then. Amazing.

When I likened Liam to Mr. Rogers, I had no freaking clue that he'd burrowed himself this deep in the land of make believe. Here are my "alternative facts," which most agree are simply "facts." Steffy did not know she was getting married that day. Neither did Liam. He'd just put Hope's ring on Steffy's finger the night before, and the picture Steffy sent Bill of her hand was viral, not a photo of Steffy's dress taken by some mountain ghost photographer.

I doubt Steffy's dress would ever get as much attention as the scandal at the time. The scandal was that Forrester had built HFTF around the virgin Hope's wedding, but the morning after Liam's bachelor party, the world saw Hope's stepsister wearing the ring Liam very publically proposed to Hope with on the runway.

What in the world fashion audience ate up Steffy's dress when they were already stuffed full on HFTF morals and probably calling Steffy all kinds of trampy names for what she'd done to their leader, Hope.

Back then, HFTF's future was about morals and wearing the clothes represented agreement with the morals. So exactly who wanted to wear the dress of the lingerie model who'd stolen her stepsister's fiancé is really a mystery to me. I'm not even going there again about how it was a thrift store dress and not a Forrester dress; however, wouldn't it be really odd for a thrift store dress to get all that fashion attention, but no one asked Steffy where it came from?

To me, Liam's flashback revisionism ruined the real event because idolizing that dress detracts from the storyline and Steffy's cleverness to organize the wedding at a moment's notice. Liam and Steffy never talk about their relationship pre-Ajax. Is it because the writers want to revise the fact that Steffy and Liam got together because Steffy played a game of "sex chicken" with the virgin Hope, threatening to sex Hope's man away from her because of Hope's morals?

While we're at it, why call Bill's manipulations support? Did Liam forget how livid he was with Bill for all of his interference with Hope and Liam right down to the fake blood clot he paid a doctor to give Steffy to keep Liam and Steffy together?

It would be refreshing for Liam and Steffy to acknowledge the truth about the past. It's okay for them to say that they'd been immature and had made bad choices in the past, but maturity caused them to have a new beginning. It's also okay for the writers to move the flashback points forward in time to the period that Steffy permanently relocated from Paris instead of trying to revise the past to make the past storylines about Steffy and Liam when it had really been about Liam and Hope.

Liam, as insecure as he is, also asked Steffy why she chose him over the charming, edgy Wyatt, who'd never been caught between her and another woman. "I don't want edgy. I want you!" Steffy responded. "Ouch," was the Mr. Roger's-sweater-clad Liam's response. Steffy claimed that Liam made her want to be better. But didn't Wyatt make her feel like she was already good enough and only improving?

With Liam, Steffy always has to change or make up for a deficit. Heck, just look at how he revised their history to void discussing its imperfections. Steffy compensated for herself in their conversation Monday when he made her out to be ditzy and messy. As she named her good qualities to make up for being "organizationally challenged," all he could add was, "And beautiful." Really, Liam? Even I see more of Steffy's qualities than you do, thanks to Wyatt.

As for Liam's question of why she picked him over Wyatt, I have no clue because Wyatt was more fun. Wyatt was completely supportive. He didn't whine. He looked for things to involve them in together. She got to eat real food, which might be what gave her those banging hips. It was all win-win, even with Quinn as long as she was on Quinn's good side.

Speaking of Quinn, did you notice how Liam stopped whining about Steffy having to work with Wyatt and Quinn still? Wasn't that one of his biggest concerns? His concern for the sexy CEO campaign went out the window, too, and he even called Steffy his sexy CEO. It's amazing how all the things Liam complained about just evaporate when he gets his way.

What is your opinion of Liam's "alternative facts" about the history between him and Steffy? Are you bothered by the whitewashing of the past or unfazed by it? Why do you think Steffy chose Liam over Wyatt, and was it a smart decision? Let's not forget that Thomas asked her if she'd be bothered by seeing Wyatt with another woman. If Wyatt takes an interest in Sally, how do you think Steffy will respond?

Spectra Fashions: 2.0 or two point no?

If you will recall B&B history, Sally Spectra and Stephanie Forrester were nemeses before they were friends. I'm not expecting anything different from their namesakes. Stephanie and Sally even battled over Eric. I'll never forget when Sally displayed that engagement ring from Eric, and Stephanie smashed it because it was a glass diamond. In that vein, I can easily see problems with Sally and Steffy over either Liam or Wyatt.

We asked for a long time for a rival fashion house to go against Forrester. I'm not sure we wanted a Spectra clone, but it's what we got. In case you missed it, Thomas sat beside a redhead who looks like Gina Tognoni gave birth to her, if you ask me. When I first saw her, I was like, "Wait a minute. Are we having a Phyllis crossover?" Then I realized it wasn't Phyllis. She doesn't dress so atrociously. As it turns it, the redhead said she was the new Sally Spectra.

I brought up synths at the start of this piece because it was my way of describing the way The Bold and the Beautiful likes to revive characters through their predecessors. It's really a no-brainer to name the men after their elders, but it gets weird and complicated with the women sharing names.

Well, Bill Spencer is an exception with the men. It can't get any weirder than to have Bill Spencer Senior, Junior, Liam, and Will. It's like, "I'm Darryl, and this my brother, Darryl. This is my other brother, Darryl, and this here is Darrylina."

Usually, the 2.0 characters have something in common with their namesakes, but it soon becomes clear through storylines that they are their own people. Will it be so with the new Sally Spectra and Saul Feinberg, who, so far, look as if they dressed up as The Bold and the Beautiful characters for Halloween?

At this point, the young Sally Spectra is a synth to me. She is named Sally Spectra, and she tries to dress like Sally Spectra -- although it's coming off more like Cindy Lauper. It's hard to assess her full frontal appearance because any long shot of her looks like Peter Gabriel's "Sledge Hammer" video. Just too much going on all around.

We also do not know a lot about her. Another synth voiced over a CGI reel of original Sally in paradise when she called her grand niece, the young Sally, to make sure she was saving the Spectra building from C.J.'s demolition sale. Sally's dub-over voice wasn't right, and I just started to feel like something wasn't quite right about this whole thing.

First of all, who is Sally's sister who birthed the niece who birthed the young Sally? Where were these people when Spectra was running?

Sally Spectra wasn't poor. She just wasn't ever good enough for the upper echelon in Los Angeles, probably because she'd made her money through piracy. She'd had a hundred thousand dollars to throw Clarke's way, and Macy came town as a bitter college graduate who'd gone to private school. She claimed Sally's attention was green and foldable, and she wasn't even impressed that Sally had gotten her a horse once.

In contrast, Shirley Spectra doesn't seem to be well off, though she did -- and perhaps still does -- own a bakery. Synth Sally mentioned it when asking if "Grams" had money to put into the rebirth of Spectra Fashions. Synth Sally apparently idolized Sally, and it's supposed to translate in her attire and hairstyle, but Sally wasn't gaudy like Synth Sally. The original Sally dressed appropriately for her mile-high shoulder pads time period. Back then, it was about fan-blade hard hair, angled features and apparel, and blue eye shadow.

I like to remember Sally as a classy fashion gangster who could drink Stephanie under the desk -- literally. Her personality was flashy, and I don't recall her wearing any outfit that resembles what they put on Synth Sally. Synth Saul, on the other hand, looks like he belongs in a "young Saul" flashback. He even comes with his own tape measure around his neck.

I don't remember too much about Saul's past, but I can count. Trust me on that one. I can. And if my counting is correct, Young Saul would have to be much older than Rick to have studied under Saul and retained it. The actor, Michael Fox, died 21 years ago, one year before Rick shot Grant, but this new Saul appears to be Nicole's age. That means he was born around the time Saul died.

As for Spectra, the last we knew, Sally sold it, transacted through C.J., to the Marones in 2007. Jackie and Nick ran a design company and boutiques until the Marone clan vanished from storylines six or so years ago. It's hard to believe old Spectra equipment is still in the building or that Spectra signs are still hanging in Jackie and Nick's office.

Nick and Jackie had remodeled the entire place to contemporary gray and chrome. However, they did keep the "Sally Says Recycle" poster in the lobby. In 2010, Amber drew inspiration from it when it talked to her before she called Oliver in hopes of stealing designs out of his bag.

Viewers can suspend a little reality for a plot, but the things I've listed so far are a little much. Add to it that Eric said Forrester hadn't had any problems since Spectra and that Brooke said "Sally had spies" while Pam and Rick, former spies for Sally and Jackie M, just sat there as if they never stole designs for knockoff companies, broke the bow for me.

Maya was all, "I heard of her. Red hair?" I was thinking -- yeah, the mother of your husband's childhood friend. How do you not know? Actually, since Rick has so many contacts in town, I would have loved it if C.J. had called him for drinks and started talking about how he had to unload the old building or demolish it. Rick and Maya could have bought it, and with Thomas ready to pop a jealousy vessel, they could have talked him into designing.

Of course, with C.J., there would be a catch. C.J. will sell the place for pennies on the dollar, but the building would come with Shirley and Synth Sally, who are dead set on reviving Spectra but know nothing about the business. I'd love it if they found a way to keep that fine Clarke Jr. around. Wasn't C.J. dapper? Hearts in my eyes!

Instead, what we have is a resurrection of legacy characters who are supposed to live on through new characters. I'm willing to give it a chance, but so far, Synth Sally and Shirley are coming off like a revamp of Amber and Tawny, and I'm gonna need a little uniqueness if I'm to buy this.

Where is this storyline headed? Thomas will be the designer, so it might be different in that we will not have knockoffs -- yet. Maybe the unappreciated Maya and Rick will go over there? I'm not sure on that one. Rick is too well entertained where he is. Do original designs mean Thomas and Ridge are headed for a fashion showdown? You better believe it! Yeah!

Maybe Pam and bakery owner Shirley are headed for a bake-off. Writers, do not put Charlie in the middle. He and Pam have a good thing going. Steffy and Synth Sally are definitely headed for conflict as evidenced by the previews showing food in Steffy's bouffant.

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There could be a triangle between Synth Saul and Thomas for Sally's affections, because Saul had hearts in his eyes upon meeting her and because Sally tells Thomas in previews that she is not his type. We all know what that means. He really is. So much for Thomas making a family of the "broken one Dad gave me." I'll leave that one where it is.

Sally claims Thomas isn't her type, but what about Liam? Isn't Sally just the kind of "yang" Liam used to get from Steffy before she went all corporate on him? When Steffy was saying she didn't need excitement and roughneck drama, Liam hoped it wasn't true because he needed the ying to his yang. Maybe Sally's got the spunk to make Liam feel yangy. I've been saying for a while that Steffy has outgrown him. Seems like Sally just might be his immature speed.

To sum it up, I highly anticipate fashion drama from the Spectras. I want them to give Bill something to write about and King Ridge something to worry about besides whether or not Quinn is wearing underwear today. But I'm not feeling copying past characters and really want Synth Sally to be her own person and not a Sally knockoff. I'm leery of a Sally and Thomas pairing because -- well, look at where all the women paired with him wind up.

We'd love to know your impressions of the new Spectra clan. What are your predictions about what's in store for them, and are you looking forward to seeing the cast in Australia?

Until we scoop again, if you happen to have a synth of yourself walking around town, using your name, its clothes had better be bold and beautiful, baby!

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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