When booty calls, the crotch rocket answers

For the Week of July 8, 2019
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What do drugged sex, staged proposals, grieving children, and fireworks have in common? Thomas "Cuckoo for Hope's Cocoa Puffs" Forrester! He used all of it to get his girl, who, despite how fine he is, isn't giving up the puffs to him anytime soon. At least Liam can count on Steffy. When booty calls, the crotch rocket rides all night on The Bold and the Beautiful.

This week, the baby-napping storyline continues to cruise at two knots per day, dumping Liam off in Steffy's port for a night before sailing his guilty conscience over to Mopey Hope's island the next morning. Word of Steffy and Liam's sexcapades spread through town faster than the truth about Beth, that's for sure. As everyone wondered if Liam and Steffy had reunited, Liam wanted to know if it wasn't too late for him and Hope.

I hate to break it to Liam, but he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. He did exactly what Hope wanted him to do, and in her eyes, he was still wrong. Hope wanted him to reunite with Steffy, just not "reunite" reunite. But does one night of undiscussed sex -- I mean lovemaking -- really equate to a reunion? Well, I'd say that the two people involved, and not every other person in the family, have to actually discuss it first, and then we'll see.

If the sex does bring Steffy and Liam closer, will the knowledge that her brother pimped her out to a pilled-up Liam rip them right back apart? Will Steffy be the least bit angry that Thomas drugged Liam and let him drink alcohol, too, around the kids?

Speaking of being negligent around kids, can I call child services on a parent for brainwashing his son to swap his dead mommy out for his father's new love interest? How about for telling the child that his mommy won't come back from heaven when he knows full-well that Beth might be making a round trip from home any day now if the truth gets out? Douglas will never stop waiting for Caroline's return once Beth returns from the "grave."

Meanwhile, Xander stood up to Zoe's bouffant and launched his own investigation into Emma's plunge into the ravine. He uncovered video that makes him strongly suspect that Thomas is a murderer. Does Mulholland Drive have CCTV? It could be the witness we need to prove that Thomas actually did run Emma off the road.

Let's get two scoops deep into Hope's theory that "make a life with Steffy" doesn't mean "make whoopie with Steffy." We'll delve into whether we should be appalled that Thomas drugged Liam or if all's well as long as we don't dwell on what the sex means for Steffy and Liam. We'll ponder Thomas' emotional abuse of Douglas and ask whether Xander's search for the truth might make lazy weekends with Zoe numbered on the Bold and the Beautiful.

Somebody hand that man a black light

If anybody out there still thinks Thomas has all of his marbles, you probably lost a few of your own this week while watching him scan his sister's bed for signs of sex between her and Liam. Umm, yuck. Pervert much? If Thomas just had to go there -- and apparently he had to -- he could have at least spared Steffy the awkward telltale sex gossip between siblings if he'd armed himself with a black light and had common sense enough to know that the sexiest bedroom in the house doesn't contain two cribs.

In case you missed it, Thomas sprinkled a sex drug into Liam's margarita. It had Liam at full throttle all afternoon. It was a reckless thing to do, but Thomas has a pattern of selfish recklessness, even when it comes to the safety of his nieces, son, and sister. Oh, geez! It was just one pill and one margarita. No big deal, right? Wrong.

Liam has two babies to help care for, and Thomas had no idea what effects that drug would have on Liam or for how long. Thomas is lucky that Liam didn't feel one with the ocean the way he did with the music, or Liam might not be here anymore. Not that it would matter to Thomas, but you get my point. Thomas is also lucky that, while in the water with the children at the beach, Liam didn't get the inebriated idea to let them float unattended.

Thomas is most lucky that Steffy was down for the sex with Liam and didn't wind up in a dangerous situation with an overly aggressive, overly amorous Liam. No, Liam isn't normally violent and luckily wasn't aggressive, but drugs and alcohol can have adverse effects on people's behavior. For example, don't make me drink tequila. You won't like me when I drink too much tequila. But Thomas didn't bother to assess that risk before drugging Liam, just like Thomas didn't bother to think about what his road-rage driving might do to a frightened Emma.

The drugged Liam wanted to dance with Hope, but she was too weirded out by his behavior. Liam decided that it left Steffy -- number two, as usual -- because he wouldn't dance with Thomas. While Liam and Steffy danced and laughed together, Thomas impressed upon Hope that she was seeing the real Liam and what Liam was like around Steffy.

Hope was so appalled by Liam's behavior that she left the cliff house party. Steffy sent Liam up to his room. The next thing you know, Liam asked Steffy to cha-cha-cha the baby monitors into his room because that was where she'd spend the night. Liam had drugged but conscious sex with Steffy, and the very next morning, he blabbed all about it to Hope.

Usually, when a major couple consummates a relationship, the pair talks about it. They tell each other that they love each other. They lie around, wrapped in sheets and bask in the afterglow. After abstaining from sex for over a year, you'd think Steffy had a lot of basking to do with Liam. Instead, she filed her nails until he, hungover from the pill and booze, awakened.

Steffy asked if Liam wished he hadn't done it with her, but he said he wasn't thinking that. Well, what were you thinking, Liam? Because no single man in his right mind leaves one ex-wife's bed to go tell another ex-wife that he still wants to be in her bed. According to Liam, the sex with Steffy just happened, but it isn't too late for him and Hope.

The next time Liam saw Steffy, it was the Fourth of July, and he was telling her about his talk with Hope "the other day." From that statement, I gleaned that Liam saw Hope on July 3rd, and an entire day had passed since he woke up in bed with Steffy. It led me to wonder what happened between him and Steffy from the time he returned from his talk with Hope until it was time to go to bed again.

Liam talked to Hope about having sex with Steffy. Liam talked to Brooke about having sex with Steffy. Steffy talked to Thomas and Ridge about having sex with Liam. But did Liam and Steffy ever talk to each other about the sex? Liam and Steffy are the only people not talking about the significance of their night together, and the writers have left the viewers wondering whether Steffy and Liam are sleeping in the same room together now or whether Steffy cha-cha-chaed herself and the baby monitors back into her own room the night of July 3rd.

Steffy told her father it was just one night. Liam told Hope that he rode the crotch rocket, but it didn't mean he doesn't still love her and want their marriage. Well, what does the sex mean, Liam? Seriously. Decade-long prisoners of this triangle really need to know.

Steffy isn't pushing for any answers out of Liam. Maybe she's afraid of what she'll hear. For a woman who claimed that she was taking control of her life and wouldn't be second to Hope, Steffy sure lapped up the first drop of himself that Liam dripped for her, didn't he? She's thirsty after over a year without intimacy, and it shows.

Steffy's doing the casual, see-where-it-goes thing. I hate to break it to her, but it's going where it always goes -- to Steffy picking up Hope's sloppy seconds, something Steffy swore she wouldn't do again after she caught Liam sexing Hope in the dressing room. Sure, Steffy is allowed to have casual sex. She's a grown woman. But she and Liam are anything but casual. With children to consider, is it a good idea to become booty-calling co-parents?

There's been nothing casual about Steffy ever since she returned to L.A., as evidenced by her declining the chance for a casual romance with that hot guy a few months back. Liam, unwittingly on drugs, admitted that he wouldn't have done it with Steffy while in his right mind. So, what is Steffy's excuse for not thinking it through before putting her new family arrangement in jeopardy by complicating her co-parenting relationship with him?

Some say that Steffy's just playing it cool and not pressuring him. In my view, by sitting back and letting Liam determine the course of things from there on out, Steffy is proving that she's happy to be second to his unrequited love with Hope and grateful for whatever drop of affection he gives her. Right now, Liam has two things in front of him: Steffy and the door. He needs to put one thing in front of him and one thing behind him. Because he can't choose, she needs to woman up and put the door in front of him and herself behind him.

Instead, Steffy's fine with Liam leaving the house to check on Hope. It's similar to what Ridge did when he was married to Taylor but unable to let Brooke go. Is Steffy really going to accept that kind of future for herself, Kelly, and Phoebe?

Ridge told Brooke that she should want Hope with Thomas, a man who doesn't have divided loyalties. That's good advice, but why doesn't Ridge take it himself? Why is he okay with Steffy recommitting to the divided Liam? Steffy told her father that it was just one night, but Ridge acted like the sex is a ribbon cutting ceremony for her future.

Ridge isn't the only parent talking about the sexcapade. Brooke is, too -- not that her hubby told her anything about it after he'd found out. Evidently, Hope didn't tell Brooke about it until a day later. Are family members tired of Brooke's opinion? They might be, but Liam isn't. He's in pure agreement with Brooke that he should be with Hope. It's too bad for Liam that Hope thinks he should live a life of diapers and celibacy with Steffy instead.

Hope might be dumb, but she ain't stupid

Hope threw viewers for a loop this week when she flipped out on Liam for wanting to dance and have fun at the beach party. It's a day at the beach, Hope, not another wake for Beth. It's a little hypocritical that Hope can laugh and dance to "Baby Shark" with Douglas all day long, but God forbid if Liam wants to put on some music and twirl her around a time or two.

Hope showed us the dark side of dumb-dumb when she flew off the handle at Liam for having the nerve to live life seven months after their daughter died. I get why Hope is upset. It's hard to see your loved one move on. What I don't get is why she told him to have a good life with Steffy and the girls, but she rakes him over their baby's grave for doing exactly that.

Hope told Douglas that it was okay to laugh and have fun. She said it didn't mean he didn't miss his mommy or that he stopped loving his mommy. Oh, but that doesn't go for Liam when it comes to the death of his daughter?

Hope has rules for the way Liam grieves and rules for the way Liam moves on. She forced him to move on when he wasn't ready. She forced him right out of his house and marriage. He complied and went to make a life and family with Steffy as Hope instructed him to do, but then Hope resents him for making sex a part of it.

It's not your business, Hope. I wish Liam didn't make it your business by blabbing it to you, but you took his booty away. You can't get mad at him for calling upon someone else's. Hope agrees that it isn't her business, but she claims that it's just hard to watch Liam move on so quickly. But did it happen quickly?

Hope has been pushing Liam away since the baby "died." She's been denying him sex and affection. Instead of helping him through his pain, she decided to help Douglas. There's nothing wrong with helping Douglas, but hello, your husband is hurting and has lost someone, too, Hope! The answer to that is not to shove him off on another woman and then not expect that woman to comfort him. Hope doesn't have a right to get upset that Liam "moved on" when she "moved away" from him months ago.

To worsen the matter, Hope is dumb enough to use this booty call as an excuse to marry Thomas. "Oh, Liam is moving on, which I forced him to do, so I need to move on, too," Hope thinks. Thomas is right there, using his son to ensure that she moves on with him.

Hope might be dumb enough to think Liam will be celibate with a crotch rocket in his house, but she isn't stupid when it comes to Thomas and his antics to force her to move on. When that blasted engagement ring resurfaced, this time from Douglas' pocket, Hope wasn't buying that Thomas had nothing to do with Douglas proposing motherhood to her.

Ain't too proud to make my son beg

Thomas' blatant use of his son to earn Hope's affections has been sickening. In my book, it amounts to emotional child abuse. No parent wants their child to suffer in grief. Although a parent might do anything to ease the child's pain, what father, just to snag a wife, would manipulate a son into thinking that the answer to his grief is to replace his mother with a new mommy?

Thomas thinks he is doing what is best for Douglas; however, whether he means to or not, by pushing Hope upon Douglas each time Douglas talks about Caroline, Thomas is pushing Caroline out of Douglas' heart to make room for Hope. Whenever Douglas mentions Caroline, Thomas diverts the child to Hope. It's gotten to the point where when Thomas asked if Douglas had fun with Hope, Douglas murmured that they were always with Hope.

Douglas didn't even want to go to the beach party, even though Hope would be there, but Thomas talked the boy into it. Douglas didn't want to swim in the ocean. Thomas said the boy didn't have to, but the moment they arrived at the party, Thomas offered Douglas up to swim in the ocean with Hope.

Thomas is making Douglas eat, sleep, and breathe Hope! Dang it, Thomas! Hope is your obsession, not Douglas'. Let the boy be a kid, have other interests, see other people, and spend a normal amount of time with Hope as time permits.

When Thomas wasn't having his own success in proposing to Hope, he put Douglas up to it and made Douglas lie about it being Thomas' idea. That's teaching Douglas to lie for a supposedly good cause. Once Douglas served his proposal usefulness, Thomas put him to bed without bothering to tell other adults the boy was in the house, leaving Douglas free to roam anywhere and possibly get into trouble.

That night, after Thomas had left Douglas to his own devices so Thomas could wedding-pressure Hope some more, Douglas headed for the kitchen, where he could have gotten the bright idea of playing with the stove. It's not a crazy thought that Douglas might do this. Remember, his mother told him that he could be a chef, and he was headed to the kitchen for a snack. Luckily, Brooke and Liam saw Douglas and sent him back to bed.

Thomas told Hope that Douglas had seen the engagement ring in Thomas' room, alluding to the idea that Douglas had taken the ring out of the room of his own accord. It's a good thing Douglas doesn't really go through Thomas' room and take things, or Douglas might get his hands on the rest of Thomas' mood pills while Thomas is off wedding-pressuring Hope.

While we're on the topic of the pills, I have strong feelings about Thomas drugging Liam's drink, and I'm frankly disgusted that the writers went there after the disaster they made of Douglas' conception. It seems that the sensational writers want characters to have all the taboo sex and none of the very real repercussions. Repeatedly, the show is sending the absolute wrong message about drugs, consent, and sex.

The writers did it when they had Caroline Senior sleep with Ridge while on some kind of pill. It happened when Ridge took pills from Taylor's purse and slept with her. Thomas tried to get Hope drunk in Cabo. Liam had amnesia sex with Quinn. The next incident I recall is when Caroline Junior blacked out while having sex with Thomas.

Now we have Liam drugged but consenting with Steffy, and some viewers strongly suspect that the unused pills in Thomas' baggy will be for Hope. It will be a complete travesty for Hope, who has already suffered such a great manipulation at the hands of Dr. Buckingham and who was drugged and almost raped by Graham, to be drugged by her own stepbrother for "solidification sex." Do better, writers. Seriously. Do better.

In a look ahead:

Thomas' manipulations win, and Hope consents to marry Thomas. Being engaged isn't enough for him, and he looks for a way to move up the wedding date. Brooke and Liam try to convince Hope not to marry Thomas, and Liam continues to express his love for Hope with the hope that it will stop her from marrying Thomas.

Xander's investigation of Thomas strains his relationship with Zoe and puts him in a dangerous predicament. The summer rumors indicate that more than one person might be killed before this storyline is done. Is it possible that the next body bag will have Xander's tagged toe poking out of it?

Who will Zoe cuddle with on a Saturday afternoon if her lover dies because she didn't mind languishing in his arms as Emma lies in a grave and as Hope cries her eyes out every night over a lie?

Let us know what you think about the unfurling events of the never-ending baby-napping storyline. Has Thomas been negligent when it comes to the children? Is his treatment of Douglas emotional abuse in your eyes, or is Thomas acting in his son's best interest? Should Steffy clear up the blurred lines between her and Liam or just take each day in stride? And don't forget to check out The Scoop for a preview of the action on B&B for the week of July 8, 2019.

Until we scoop again, I will leave you with a bit of sage advice on sex and relationships. It's like my mama always says: if the only "ring" the man you love gives you is for a booty call, then it's time to wring that man right out of your hair. You deserve something much more bold and beautiful!

And until next time, stay bold and beautiful, baby!

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