Sure an' they're up to shenanigans

by Mike
For the Week of March 23, 2020
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For B&B's 33rd anniversary, Bridge reunited, but Lope outdid them with a reunion wedding. Meanwhile, Quinn took advantage of Brooke's Brill-iant moment, but Sally even out-Quinned Quinn by pulling a Caroline on Quinn's son! Get lucky with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you get married with one "minor" detail? Did you make sure someone would regret their purchase at Bed Bath & Beyond? Did you take a page out of your ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's playbook? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Spectra-Fulton clan this week!

Does it feel like it's a whole different world since the last time I columnized for you, Scoopers? This whole coronavirus spread feels more like a DAYS plot than B&B. My sincere wish is that you all stay safe and healthy. B&B has halted production, but we should be okay for episodes another month or so. And now that Thomas is out of the way, the show is (mostly) good right now! Let's Scoop about it!


Ding-dong, the wicked Tom is...well, not dead, but his hoodwinking everyone to bed Hope seems to be. Finally! And that wedding episode with Hope tricking Thomas into showing his hand was fiyah. With Douglas and Zoe in on it! Yeaaaahhhh booyyyyyyy! I do think some of what went on might have been too complicated for Douglas to understand, but he's smart enough to know he doesn't wanna live with Daddy!

The one thing I don't get is, why did everyone just let Thomas walk out? He pretty much went AWOL the last time he got snagged, only to come back having grown two more heads. Wouldn't it have been better to stop him at the door and call the nearest sanitarium? Eric was the only one who brought up Thomas needing help. Man, I wish Taylor had walked in just then. And I mean healthy Taylor, not cray-cray Tay-Tay.

Twice it was mentioned that Thomas would "be a good man again." I wish I could believe it. Not only did we get punked about Thomas before, but I will never be able to look at Matthew Atkinson's Thomas without thinking about all this, as fine of an actor as Atkinson is. I think I'd like to see Thomas' process in therapy. I always want to know why a character goes over the edge, not just buy that edge-over-going.

Apparently, Vinny went out looking for Thomas. Did anybody notice how hot Vinny and Steffy looked standing next to each other? With Steffy "strong enough to accept what's true" about Lope's inevitability, why not let her move on with the studly Vin-Man? Yeah, I know, drug pusher and all. This family forgives criminals like libraries forgive overdue fines. I am all about Team Veffy, and I mean right now!

Another new team I am on is Team Zarter. But let's wait a few months on it, okay? Zoe needs time to get over Thomas; Carter seems gone enough that he will be waiting in the wings. 'Cuz Carter, you got it bad, just like that Usher song. Isn't it about time Mr. Lawyer/Officiant gets some luv? He mooned over Maya forever, even though she didn't give two hoots about him. I think Zoe could be good for him...eventually.


Having been given Steffy's blessing (here's hoping Steffy finally takes Liam's giant Sears Portrait Studio pic down and calls Vinny, 'cuz she got his digits at the wedding, right?), Liam decided to get into the wedding spirit and tasked Douglas with some Hope hitching. Different motivation, of course, but did any of you feel Liam was doing the same thing to Douglas that Thomas did? It was super ironic.

I'm amazed Douglas isn't more confused than he is. The poor kiddo moves constantly and went from "I want you [Mommy] to marry Daddy" to "I want you to marry Liam" in the time it took for Eric and Quinn to pay the caterers. And Liam? For a guy who wouldn't marry Hope unless she relinquished custody of Douglas, he sure is stepping up for the little guy now. And you know what? I like it.

It hasn't come up, but let's not forget that Douglas and Liam are family. The boy is Liam's cousin. Bill's right that the kid has Spencer blood. But Dougie didn't need Bill's credit card to get his "parents" back together. At Liam's suggestion, Douglas drew up some "Bride" and "Groom" T-shirts from Old Navy (yes, I noticed the label!) and finally got to use his matchmaking powers for good.

Liam and Hope decided to get married right then and there in the cabin, with Douglas and Beth as witnesses! And Douglas got to replace Carter as officiant! (Will Carter want a finder's fee?) What ensued was the best wedding I've seen on B&B in a long time. It may just be the best soap wedding I've seen, period. Sure, some of what they had Douglas say was cloying. But, as usual, Henry Joseph Samiri stole the show.

And given how many weddings Lope has had, legal, interrupted, and otherwise, it made sense to have them do an impromptu, T-shirt-clad ceremony with only them and the kids. I gotta tell ya -- I am a cynical bastard. Yet, I'm really a die-hard romantic underneath. That wedding was beautiful. The instant aspect to it even worked, because it felt spontaneous and real. Even if Beth cried through the whole thing!


Steffy predicted that her pop had "some groveling in [his] future," but Ridge correctly predicted that Brooke had already forgiven him for blindly taking up for Thomas so much that Ridge was willing to tank his marriage. The divorce papers he had Brooke sign before Christmas were yellowing in a drawer somewhere, so Ridge got lucky there.

I have a crush on Thorsten Kaye, too, so of course, I loved Ridge's tuxed and T-shirted "I failed as you as a husband" admissions. Yeah, Ridge, you effed up major! It would be one thing if Thomas hadn't acted up before, but Ridge's eyes had been open ever since Thomas' tearful confession post-cliff dive. I'm surprised Brooke didn't banish him to the doghouse, but whatever: Bridge is back!

Or are they? Just before peace reigned supreme in the Forrester-Logan household, B&B decided to have Brooke and Bill kiss out of freaking nowhere! Whaaaaaat? Why was that necessary? I'm willing to give Brooke a partial pass, because she thought she was all but divorced, even if she shouldn't have been willing to betray her sister again. But Bill? There was nothing wrong in Batie's world that precipitated him doing that!

And though Bill has fantasized about Brooke before (starting with her boobs back around 2011), it feels even colder now. Katie just survived a kidney transplant, for soaps' sake. What, he doesn't like women with three kidneys? Bill called Brooke to talk about the buss, but she shut him down. I'm more wondering why Ridge went to take a solo shower in the middle of a reunion. I'd have thought a three-way with Mr. Bubble was in order.

By the way, how can Bill and Brooke separately be so nice to Katie when they know their make-out session could have her drinking out of broken glasses again? You'd have thought Brooke would have been more pained, and Bill championing Katie to her face only to keep reliving his kiss with Brooke just makes him even more assholian. Couldn't we just have had a Bridge reunion and given Batie something else to do?

As Bridge celebrated the morning after, Shauna went sulking to Quinn about how her chances with Ridge were in the toilet now after Bridge's probable reunion. Quinn snarked that it was likely, since Thomas had been snagged for his bad deeds. Excuse me? Pearls don't look good on you, Quinn, so don't clutch them. You were ready to team up with Thomas against Brooke and spiked her damn OJ. Don't even go there!

When Shauna wanted Quinn to spill on Brill, the jeweler had all the dish. But how? Quinn showed up right around the time Taylor exposed the Brill affair to Katie! Does Eric keep a spreadsheet of all the family's dalliances glued behind Stephanie's portrait to bone up on? But Quinn saw that her BFF was dancing in circles around something and got Shauna to tell her about her new hobby: videography!

Forget lighting and ratios and resolution and all that. Just point and shoot at the kissing you just happen to be passing by! At least the show explained by saying Shauna was seeking out Brooke to talk sense into her about Ridge, but then she "didn't know why" she decided to film Brill. Shades of Ivy, anyone? Only that was worse, Ivy filming Aly's eventual death when she should have rushed to help her.

Now, how does that classic song go? You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind...and you don't get Quinn involved with videos! Because she is the queen of ScrewTube. She hacked Liam's email to send Hope his video tribute to Steffy in 2013, and the next year, she filmed herself in bed with Bill to show Ridge so he'd stop Brill's Abu Dhabi wedding. Oh, Shauna, are you out of the loop.

So, Quinn wanted Shauna to set her video's settings to private, like, yesterday! But Shauna had a change of heart. She didn't want to hurt Ridge now that she knew how much he hated Bill, and Brooke would only crow that Shauna was as awful as Brooke said she was. Quinn wanted one more view, and while Shauna's back was turned, she emailed the video to herself. Uh-huh. She'd only be able to text it unless she hacked Shauna's email, too.

As luck would have it, Ridge gave Brooke a digital photo frame and sent a link to everyone in the family so they could upload their favorite Bridge pics. Eric already knew when Brooke told him about the gift (more Beric, please!), but apparently, Quinn wasn't CC'd, because it was total news to her when Eric showed her the app. I think another Irish proverb should be, "don't put down your tablet to make a martini."

Because as soon as Eric did, Quinn grabbed the device and loaded the Brill kiss video onto the app, and by extension, Bridge's digital photo frame! Hold the phone, Quinnster! How did she manage to get the video into Eric's tablet? I'm sorry, but there's too many steps for that to have happened with Eric in the same room. Also, what if Brooke sees the video on the frame first? She has the app; she could just delete it!

All this is to pave the way for Shauna with Ridge, and I'm not here for it. Shauna's only tie to the show besides Felony Flo is her crush on Ridge. Let Bridge repair their marriage already. And how does Quinn think Eric is going to react when he finds out she purposely tried to take down Brooke? He has a super soft spot for Logan, and Fuller may find herself in divorce court, just like Brooke wanted, sooner rather than later!


After some cute banter with Wyatt, Sally got some texts from Dr. Escobar, which should have been a sign. Doctors don't text you, let alone personally! Sally shined Dr. E on, then told her to piss off when she took a phone call from her. Undeterred, the medicine woman made a beeline for Wyatt's pad and took Sally to task. "You can't play with your diagnosis!" she insisted. "You have to tell everyone the truth!"

Sally all but kicked the doc's ass to the curb until Wyatt showed up for no reason except to catch them in a confrontation. Escobar seemed ready to out Sally, until Sally decided to out herself. She was dying! But wait -- Wyatt wasn't surprised! The solar showerer admitted that Katie had finked, and Sally deduced Wyatt had only reunited with her out of pity. Except he and Flo had never broken up, had they?

Sally didn't want to be a charity case and tried to bolt. She got dizzy and fell to her knees. Wyatt assured her he wanted to spend her last days with her, and she was no longer to even leave the house. (Precursor to this week, eh?) Escobar felt that "this façade you're putting on for Wyatt" was taking its toll. Wyatt left, but as soon as he did, Sally bolted up off the couch and asked the doc what the hell she was doing!

Dr. Escobar didn't want to be a part of any more lies, but Sally said it was far too late for that. Doc countered that Sally should come clean. No, Sally glared, she knew exactly what she was doing and was going to keep right on doing it. Escobar kept trying to reason with Sally, though her pleas only fell on deaf ears. What did she want Sally to do, Sally demanded -- tell Wyatt that she's not dying?

Well, there it is! I only this week heard whispers this might be the case, but you know, if I had listened to Escobar without knowing that first, I would not have picked up the hints. For as on-the-nose as dialogue about secrets can be on B&B, Escobar's was far subtler and therefore far more effective. So, Sally has been faking her illness the whole time! She's not gonna die, after all!

But wait...Sally's pretending she's dying. What'd she do, get inspired by Caroline telling Thomas she was dying so he'd dump Sally? And Sally is doing this to pilfer Wyatt away from Flo. This does not sound like a Sally Spectra move at all. Even her namesake only once pretended to be pregnant to steal Taylor's father Jack from Stephanie. Sally 2.0 is just not this sneaky. Is she being set up to be the new Thomas?

And why would Sally go to this extreme to keep a guy who dumped her twice? Girl, pull yourself up by your polka-dotted bootstraps and go fight with Steffy over Vinny if you want a tussle over a man. The O.G. Sally would slap you silly if she knew what you were doing. Ah, no wonder Sally didn't want to call Shirley and Coco about her "diagnosis." This is not going to end well for a woman who couldn't pull off a design steal!

We are in a post-aTOMic world, Scoopers! What did you think of Lope's latest wedding? Will Ridge really be pissed that Brooke kissed Bill while they were on a break? Is it out of character for Sally to be faking a terminal illness? And how would you feel about a Veffy pairing? Shake your shamrock in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"I can't see the Thomas saga ever ending. Yes, he will be exposed. Everyone will be appalled. But in a few weeks, Ridge will forgive him and be singing his praises once again. Then it will be time for Thomas to come up with a new plot that Hope will fall for once again. Why? because Hope is the most stupid person to ever walk the earth." -- Rob

"If I were Brooke I would do an 'I was right' song and dance which would include a LOT of butt wiggling and singing 'I told you so!' over and over again." -- Danielle

May the luck of the Irish be with ye as you keep those hands clean and do what you can to not catch/spread this virus. I am with you as it changes all our lives. At least we have the fictional forays of the Forresters to lose ourselves in, so keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember: no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, or nationality, we're all beautiful.

What are your thoughts on The Bold and the Beautiful? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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