Remember when Ridge said he'd see Brooke at the office? She was right to ignore that crumb because, apparently, Taylor thinks being his baby mama gives her a right to waltz into his office and prop herself on his desk all afternoon. I was half-expecting Brooke to stride in with company business and be told to leave because Ridge and Taylor needed time alone to talk about how sad Taylor is without Kelly's wardrobe to pick through. Instead, in walked Deputy Chief Baker to say he'd lost Sheila.
Just how does Baker lose a whole criminal? He does it with the help of a prison guard who, if subjected to a background check, would have been a prisoner himself instead of being in charge of other prisoners. Yes, some guard -- we'll call him Mike Guthrie -- helped Sheila escape during a prison transfer. It's just hearsay that it was Mike because, in some not-so-brilliant storytelling, someone forgot to film exactly how Sheila escaped.
Last year, we saw Liam's prison transfer turn into the reunion of the year with Hope. This year, unfortunately, we couldn't even get a catch-up conversation between Mike and Sheila, let alone see exactly how Mike slipped her out of the building. Maybe it's still forthcoming?
Taylor was dressed like she had a disco ball in her pocket, but what she really needed was a crystal ball to assuage Ridge's anger about where Sheila might be. "First thing we need to do is call Brooke. Why are you calling Li?" Ridge asked Taylor. Good. Ridge's mind is where it always is -- on Brooke -- but a broken doc can be right at least once a century. For once, Taylor got it right about alerting Li immediately about Sheila's escape.
As sharp as Taylor is, she is dull with self-awareness. When Li didn't return Ridge's message, he wondered where she could be. "She's a busy doctor," Taylor surmised. You know, the kind of doctor Taylor ought to be if she actually had any real patients besides the recent prison escapee wander-in one or if she really had any other purpose in life besides appeasing Ridge.
Speaking of characters lacking purpose, what's with all the random characters turning up in scenes and storylines where they've never before been? It seems like characters are wandering in, plot-bombing scenes much like the real-life rando who photo-bombs your selfies. It's happened so much, I came up with a name for them -- Commando Randos.
A "Commando Rando" is someone who, having abso-freaking-nothing to do with a plot, shows up in it, wreaking havoc or boredom, but not really advancing the plot whatsoever. For example, Grace. She consistently plot-bombs Paris and Carter's storyline with nonsense. I'm still not over her accusing Carter of sexual harassment. She left Ridge blinking like..."What? Are you serious?"
Surreptitious kisses are the norm around there. Ridge didn't even mention it to Zende, the Commando Rando who walked in while Ridge was fuming about the police losing Sheila. Zende plot-bombed Ridge's scene, not bothering with the obligatory knock, greeting, or apology for interrupting. He opened the door, strode in, and point-blank asked, "What's going on?"
Ridge informed Zende that Sheila was on the loose. "This is crazy," was Zende's major contribution to the plot. That, and he sprang into action when Ridge instructed him to inform Charlie that Ridge would be right down -- as if phones no longer work for menial tasks or as if messaging Charlie is a task that a designer filling in for a co-CEO should be burdened with. Where is Pam, anyway? Isn't she the messenger? Oh, Lord. Someone re-hire Donna quickly.
Next up in the rando parade was Hope. Dressed like a Toy Story reject, she blundered into Eric and Quinn's storyline and busted Donna and Eric for their affair. Since Eric and Donna will probably get caught any day now, I strain to see the point of Hope interloping in their storyline. All it did was remind me that Quinn is the last person Hope ought to care about being cheated on, humiliated, or dropping dead.
Hope mentioned that she wasn't a fan of Quinn's. That's an understatement. When Hope sees Quinn, she ought to get the PSTD quakes. Quinn is one to talk about Sheila killing her son when Quinn's the reason Hope miscarried Quinn's grandchild. Quinn devoted her life to sabotaging Hope's happiness with Liam for Wyatt's sake. Quinn also attempted to manipulate Hope's mother out of her marriage, so I'm perplexed by why Hope should give a damn that Quinn is finally being served karma on a cold buffet.
Yes, I know. Hope is too good for the earth, and she's more humble than the law allows, even throwing the ever-mandatory shade at her mama when Donna is the one in the cheating hot seat, not Brooke. My advice to Hope is to channel her inner selfishness into not giving a damn if the woman who shoved Ivy into the toxic Seine, hurtled Hope's father off a cliff, abducted Liam, and sicced Steffy on Hope's wedding experiences just one ounce of misery and karma.
The final Commando Rando of the week is Bridget. Quinn summoned her Daisy-Duke-shirt-wearing stepdaughter into her and Eric's plot to give professional advice about Eric's health. Bridget shrugged through her opinion without so much as evaluating Eric, listening to his heartbeat, or even taking a look at the results from Quinn's smart ring app.
Bridget is happy that Quinn cares so much about Eric. This signifies that, so far, two Logans emerged in support of Quinn. She shouldn't utter a negative word against all Logan women once she discovers Donna and Eric's Honeylicious affair, but it's my guess that Quinn will make this somehow Brooke's fault, even if Quinn gets her "bug-a-bee" Carter in the end.
When Ridge confronted Carter about Grace's accusations, Carter was so strung out in his feelings that Ridge asked what was wrong with him. Ridge didn't ask it as an inquiry. He asked it in the frustrated realization that something is severely off with that man. If you ask me, Carter is the apple that fell too hard from the Walton tree, and the soft dents on his skull are showing.
Quinn's sex can't be that good, can it? Not if she is incapable of making Eric stand at attention. If it's not the sex, I have no idea what it is that makes Carter crazier than a male dog when the female is in heat. He just can't stay away from Quinn! It's as if following her around, breathing in her rejection fumes, gives him ultimate life.
Carter saw Quinn first thing in the morning and was too smitten to breathe. He rushed off and kissed Paris. After Ridge yelled at him, trying to snap him out of it, Carter hurried over to Quinn's house to agonize even more over her, but all she cared about was Eric. "Eric sure is lucky," Carter uttered before showing himself out while Quinn fretted to Bridget about Eric.
Quinn went to work after that, and who strode right up in her face again? Carter. The same man who keeps telling her that he can't be around her, that he wants to go forward with Paris to make a life and a family, and that he's sacrificing himself for Quinn's marriage. Just like Donna and Eric blew by leaving the door open to their hideaway, Carter is blowing any chance of throwing Paris off the scent because he can't stay away from Quinn for more than an hour in one day.
Carter is acting like a male dog when a female dog is in season. Ridge needs to crate Carter until he can function like a human and not a desperate, stalker bugaboo.
Fake-BFF Sheila once, shame on Taylor. Fake-BFF Sheila twice, and, well -- maybe Li should have invested in silencer heart monitors or at least patted Sheila down first. Sheila didn't give Li much time for that before the tussling began. Sheila flipped Li over a settee, and as Li plopped to the floor like a rag doll, I wondered if Naomi Matsuda does her own stunts. After Sheila knocked Li out, Li came to with the revelation that she'd better play nice with the brawny Anti-mom.
Sheila fell for Taylor's psycho-BFF nonsense, but will the master manipulator fall for Li's "we're both his mothers" and "I can get convicted, too," nonsense? If Bill didn't get convicted for destroying evidence last year in Vinny's death, Li sure as hell won't be convicted for sneaking her living son out of a hospital that left him for dead. Li might have a good civil lawsuit in the making. If she can keep Finn alive during an abduction and bring him back to life on barebones supplies, then the hospital that initially received him was completely negligent. It was like they'd thrown him on the same trash pile Sheila had left him to die on.
Speaking of that trash pile, can you imagine Finn opening his eyes and seeing the assailant who'd gunned him down on alley trash? Sheila's gleeful that she didn't kill Finn, but it's not so that he can live for Hayes. She's gleeful because it means she can have a chance with him. I don't know what that "chance" looks like, but all I can theorize is she'll have a "chance" to watch him turn her in to the cops -- unless, of course, she kills him, Li, or both.
Sheila wasn't above leaving Finn for dead or killing another innocent person in order to escape. I have no reason to believe she wouldn't do it again to Finn and Li. Li appears to be the heroine and Sheila the villain, even down to the color of their wardrobes. Fashion, however, isn't the only hint that a battle of motherly proportions is brewing, a battle that Sheila just might win. In the spoilers section, I'll explain why I think Sheila will be the only mother left standing.
In the coming weeks, major plots bubble over. According to spoilers, Carter proposes marriage to Paris, Sheila and Li brawl, and Quinn and Bridget finally get to the bottom of Eric and Donna's Pickleball games. Eric promises Donna a bright future, and Quinn chases true love. I wish Carter would hose Quinn down in her tracks and refuse to be number two, but we've already deduced that the man isn't right in the head. He'll consider second place a prize.
Soap Opera Digest features a short interview with Kimberlin Brown about Sheila's upcoming confrontation with Li. Brown asserts that it's a massive betrayal of epic proportions, and Sheila will exact her revenge. According to the article, Li takes off in a car, and Sheila is hot on her trail.
I don't know what happens on the road, but we've all witnessed how riled-up car chases on the PCH go. We also know that there ain't no way Li would leave Finn alone and at the mercy of his attempted killer, but the spoilers go on to say that Sheila will be left alone with her rusty nursing skills to care for Finn. That's not looking too good for Li.
In another Soap Opera Digest interview, Rena Sofer reveals that some Commando Rando waiter has all the tea on Eric. The waiter tells Bridget and Quinn that the Pickleball court is closed and that Eric has a secret bungalow at the club. The stepmother and stepdaughter hightail it to the club and catch Eric pollinating Donna. If it weren't for Bridget, I'd advise Quinn to hop right on the bed and get herself a match going! It might do wonders for her marriage. What else is she gonna do? Be bitter and chair Donna to death?
Thanks for getting two scoops deep with me this week. Let us know how you feel about the unfurling storylines in the comments section below. Until we scoop again, stay bold and beautiful, baby!
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