Epiphanies, inflection points, or meaningless plot devices?

For the Week of December 19, 2022
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Santa gave viewers what they've longed to hear -- but should they believe any of it? If Taylor and Brooke are serious, there are three themes our Scooper puts on the naughty list. Next, no one should take Bill's epiphany seriously, but could his emotional issues lead to a gift storyline with the "healer" Taylor? Also in this Scoops, Sheila makes a "Toetal" fashion mistake. Plus, Deacon's Place? Really? Let's Scoop!

"Toe-tally" clean escape

Sheila just had to be cute in the mild Los Angeles winter, didn't she? Well, an escape ain't the time to be cute. Nor is it the time to primp in the bathroom after she'd just used it at Deacon's place to don her disguise. Maybe, like her brain, her mask wasn't wrapped too tight when she left Deacon's, but Sheila would have been better off waiting to fix it at the last rest stop on the way out of town.

When Steffy recognized Sheila at the Fake Olive Garden, I thought I'd finally get to see who was the fastest gun in the West. With Sheila on the loose, I imagined Steffy would be packing Stephanie's trusty gun, and when does Sheila ever go anywhere without her silencer pistol? Unfortunately, there was no slo-mo gunslinging from their designer bags or swinging steel into each other's faces followed by the sound of bullets racking. Instead, Steffy basically pissed her pants, and Sheila quietly walked right out of the place.

I was thrown off when Steffy, the fiery crotchrocket, fizzled at the sight of her enemy. This woman took on her crazy cousin with a tire iron, shot Sheila, and clawed Quinn down in the streets. Why did nine-toed Sheila scare Steffy? The encounter wasn't even Steffy's first time seeing Sheila since the shooting. So, what gives, writers? Please explain how Steffy went from a badass Sheila hunter to a wide-eyed victim.

Steffy wasn't the only one trembling in fear. Hope was shaking in her Walmart booties about Sheila, but I have no idea why. It wasn't as if Sheila shot Hope's mother or left Hope for dead in an alley. As terrified as Steffy and Hope claimed to be about Sheila, neither was concerned at all about Sheila when Charlie assured them that he'd safeguarded the building. All they cared about was with whom Ridge had left the building -- Taylor or Brooke.

I don't really care; do you?

Hope and Steffy were dying to find out who won the Mrs. Ridge Forrester pageant, but many viewers took on the sentiment of the statement jacket worn by Melania Trump that read, "I don't really care; do you?" Because of Taylor and Brooke's epiphany, we may never know who he chose, but for what it was worth, he did say he was glad Taylor had chosen to stay in town -- for the kids. Not for him; for the kids, get it?

I wasn't focused on who Ridge had chosen because I was too irate at the idea that he had a choice. After the way he'd treated Taylor and Brooke, I was miffed at his audacity to return to town, thinking he'd actually "eeeny, meeny, miney, mo" these two intelligent women again -- or that they'd stand for it. Thank the soap gods that Brooke and Taylor took the decision out of his hands and instead lit into him about the pain he'd caused them both.

While I found it gratifying that Brooke and Taylor let Ridge have it, I didn't care for the amused look on his face. It was almost as if he was turned on by their new perspectives, and it made me wonder if he might have contemplated going the Eric route and proposing a polygamist relationship between himself, Brooke, and Taylor.

As Brooke and Taylor took turns unfurling their pain and anger, it didn't escape me that one of them was wasting her time because, in his mind, he'd already chosen the other one. If Ridge is anything like Bill, it means the unchosen one will have to sit around watching Ridge go after the chosen one, very much like Katie had to sit around and watch Bill go after her sister.

I wonder which one, Brooke or Taylor, will have to watch and act like it doesn't bother her that Ridge is wooing the other. Brooke said that if Ridge is in their lives, that's fine, but if he wasn't, that was fine, too. If you ask me, that's kicking the door right back open for more abuse. So, what was really accomplished if Ridge can still come and go in their lives?

The most frustrating part of Brooke and Taylor's talk with Ridge was that Brooke equated her pain with Taylor's and elevated Taylor to victim status. All year long, Brooke has been a victim of others sabotaging her marriage -- from Sheila, to Steffy, to Thomas, to Taylor. Brooke is the innocent one who had to cluelessly endure her husband sleeping with his ex while he annulled their marriage's existence.

As devastated as she was, Taylor knew exactly what she was getting into with Ridge. He seemed a bit cold as she cried about him walking out on her again at the altar. Here, I have to point out what an amazingly big person Brooke was to console Taylor, the woman Ridge cheated on her with and left her for when she'd done nothing wrong. Brooke even looked out for Taylor, the alcoholic, recalling that she needed to drink sparkling water, not alcohol.

Brooke and Taylor left holding hands like schoolyard friends, vowing not to compete against each other for Ridge. Taylor said she never wanted to be Brooke's enemy, and as Taylor blew compliments up Brooke's skirt, I hoped Taylor would pass that memo to her war-declaring kids. In fact, if Taylor means it when she says women should be lifting each other up and not tearing each other down, then there are three themes the writers need to kiss goodbye on this show:

First, The Slut from the Valley. Taylor says she doesn't want to hear the "D" (destiny) word anymore. Brooke said she didn't want to say the D word anymore. By the same token, I don't want to hear anyone else on this show call Brooke the Slut from the Valley ever again. It's a disgraceful, derogatory term used by female characters who hold up mirrors to Brooke to deflect the truth about themselves. If the D word is out, so is the SFTV phrase.

Second, "The Logans." I don't want to hear anything else about The Logans this or The Logans that. I sure as hell don't want to hear Steffy with her "One, two, three, four -- I declare Logan War" talk again as she asks Katie to run her promos and Donna to babysit her kids. The Logans only refers to Brooke and Hope, anyway, so it's time to drop the phrase like the bad habit of competing for Ridge.

Third, harping on what Brooke did to Katie and Bridget. As Elsa sings in Frozen: "Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!" I don't know how many times I have to say it, but Brooke got her karma for hurting them in spades when Katie and Bridget did the same thing right back to Brooke. Plus, Brooke's affair with Deacon produced Hope, and it's time to stop bringing it up but acting like the putdown is no reflection upon Hope.

Get over it already! In fact, Bill has. Let him tell it, he doesn't know why he did it to Katie or why he said Brooke was the greatest love of his life. It's all lies, according to him. Notice that Bill was wearing the sword necklace when he said this. It makes me question if what he said was true or if Quinn put some kind of hex on that thing. Could it be that Bill is experiencing serious emotional and mental issues that might wind him up on Taylor's couch?

Taylor becomes her victim's healer, and Brooke becomes Deacon's redeemer?

Since Brooke and Taylor have kicked Ridge to the curb, I suspect if Ridge doesn't go crazy like Bill from the rejection, Ridge will linger on the backburner while other leading men take their chances with the women Ridge mistreated. Sheila fled town, leaving Deacon open for Brooke, and Bill has renounced his feelings for Brooke, making him ripe for Taylor.

Viewers might have noticed that Hope has caught Parent-Trapitis. Even though she says she's not trying to push her dad on her mom, she is totally trying to push her dad on her mom. It's surprising because, as a woman who's had Thomas stalking her for years, she ought to know that just because a man is devoted to a woman, it doesn't mean that woman must give him a shot. Plus, Deacon ain't even that devoted to Brooke, anyways, just saying...

I suspect that Deacon will buy Il Giardino and turn it into "Deacon's Place" as a way to redeem himself. Some viewers think Deacon just used buying the restaurant as a ruse to skip town, but I think a lie like that would unravel too quickly. I also can't see a reason Deacon needs to skip town. After all, he told Sheila that she needed to go so that he could protect what he'd built in L.A. Plus, his parole officer had to have checked it out before approving it.

I'm thrown by Deacon's desire to rename the Italian restaurant "Deacon's Place." Would it still look like Il Giardino? Or would it become some smoke-filled pool hall for the Beverly Hill's clientele? Whatever Deacon does with it, Hope is going to use it to continue to promote him to Brooke. Now that the Logan war is over, would a relationship with Brooke and new business finally redeem Deacon? Before you answer, remember, we just agreed to drop the whole "What Brooke did to Bridget" thing.

Another bad boy who could use some love and guidance is Bill, and now that he's renounced his obsession with Brooke, that means Taylor won't have to worry about him leaving her at the altar for the blonde bombshell. That is, if we can believe what Bill said. It might be the sword talking, which means Bill is in serious need of some counseling. Do you think it's possible that Taylor and Bill can get past the shooting and get to some mental and emotional healing? Before you answer, remember that forgetting the shooting ever happened is half the battle!

There is one other prospect we can't rule out. Taylor and Brooke become lovers. Hey, it happened with Guiding Light's Olivia and Natalia.

Things that made me go ugh

Here are a few things that happened last week that had me looking around like...what...?

Steffy said she didn't care about Thomas. She literally said she didn't care about Thomas right now. Everyone just concluded the other week that the man is sick and hurt his son, but for some reason, Ridge's choice trumps getting Thomas some much-needed help.

Speaking of things Steffy said, did Steffy really just say it was her mom's turn to be with Ridge? Hope better watch out because Steffy already has had two "illegal" turns with Liam when she helped him cheat on Hope and when she declared him as her "sweet husband."

Diffusers? Is Bill really trying to win Katie's heart with scent diffusers and wine? Did he forget she is a recovering alcoholic?

What does Sheila think is so damn funny? Why am I not in on the joke?

In a show of comments below, how long do you give this truce between Taylor and Brooke? Do you really believe it'll spread to Hope and Steffy, or will Steffy be back to declaring Logan wars the moment she sees that Ridge is flirting with Brooke?

In a look ahead: The gift of an arrest

As Finn and Steffy celebrate the holidays, all they want for Christmas is an arrest. The police chase Sheila, but will they catch her? Katie and Brooke discuss Brooke's choice regarding Ridge, and Katie becomes sentimental about Storm. When Ridge tells Eric about his encounter with Taylor and Brooke, Eric offers his son some advice. Could the advice be to make the women a polygamy offer they can't refuse?

Thanks for scooping with me this week. I will be back in two weeks with my Best and Worst of 2022 column, but Mike is up first with his picks next week. May your holidays be bold and beautiful, baby!

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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