Not that innocent

by Tony
For the Week of June 11, 2012
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Not that innocent
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The week of June 11, 2012
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Roman got his Wild West town sheriff swagger on and ended up putting his grandson in the pokey. Did Will shoot Stefano, or is he simply a red herring? Plus, Melanie smells a rat and Gabi was served one! The hunt for Stefano's murderer continues in this week's Two Scoops.

I go away for a few weeks and when I come back, Stefano is dead! Well, as dead as Stefano can be. He is the Phoenix after all. And it seems like everyone's a suspect. Bo, Hope, John, Marlena, Will, Kate, E.J., and even Abe look a guilty. Thankfully, as Laurisa mentioned, I've been out of town, looking for Anna DiMera, so there's no way Roman is pinning this one on me. No way, baby! I didn't do it. Stefano has never done anything to me, well, except that one thing, but I certainly (almost) didn't want him dead for that. What am I saying? I was out of town. Right. That's it. So, let's take a look at some other non-guilty parties and the man who's trying to crack the case.

Ro Ro made up for his lack of screen time this year last week. And that's not a complaint! Add in the fab Officer Martine Kent, and I was sold.

First, Martine's a cutie and she admires Roman. This could be a win/win. He needs a lady looking at him that way as much as he needs to solve a caper. Let's get this man a lady, writers. It's been, when was the last time Roman was with a woman!? Exactly!

Second, let's face it, Salem is pretty incestuous. Everyone knows and/or is related to everyone else. I'm sure some characters have to pause and go through their family trees before hitting on a hottie (Max Brady excluded. He never paused). Anyway, Officer Kent's presence gives oodles of validity to Roman running around town, questioning his loved ones. Nice catch, writers.

Although, I'm still not sure as to why Rafe was reinstated. He may have a tiny, teeny-weeny motive to want Stefano dead. You know, that entire imprisonment/stolen identity thingy. Nah. Nevermind.

So, basically Roman got his wild, wild west town sheriff swagger on and questioned a bunch of people who were totally not acting guilty. But I always think that the guiltier one acts, the less guilty they are of the crime they're accused of being guilty of. Right. But that is to say I don't think Will whacked Stefano. The first person arrested is usually not guilty. That's Soap Murder Mystery 101.

I say blame Madison! I'm pretty sure Stefano was blackmailing her to dress the way she does, and when she finally saw herself in a mirror, she snapped and took the law into her own hands. I have better hunches -- don't worry.

I'm also onboard with Celeste being the shooter. To put it bluntly, she's the most expendable. She also knows the mansion. Well, not that finding a gun on a platter would be that tricky. Plus, Roman stated the murderer called the tip line. Celeste is a psychic and probably has an 800 number. Therefore she knows how to use a phone and is probably the killer. Of course, I could be wrong about that, too.

Dear, dear, Chad said, "He's Stefano DiMera! I don't understand why anyone would do this." Was there anyone out there who didn't answer their TV's by shouting, "Because he is Stefano DiMera!" So, really, it's anyone's murder at this point, and I love the mystery so far. I like Roman's involvement and the way all the suspects interact with each other. It's very Clue, and Will was just a red herring.

However, I am shocked that Roman's question, "Did somebody in this room murder Stefano DiMera?" wasn't answered. So much for the direct approach.

Breaking news! Rafe and Carrie had another "we can't be together" scene. You know, once they start coming up with valid reasons, I will start paying attention again. The baby excuse just doesn't cut it. In fact, they're really not fooling anyone at this point. Just ask Billie. She knows what's what. And she might be wearing an adult diaper. I don't know.

The point is Austin wouldn't be completely shocked if Carrie left him now. Correction, he shouldn't be. He probably will be, but he shouldn't be. Then again, Ziploc bags confuse poor Austin, so it's really hard to tell.

The point to my story is this -- Rafe is a good stepfather, and Carrie is a bad wife. Why can't they just be together? The entire "in another life" thingy seemed like overkill. Carrie just needs to sit Austin down and make him watch He's Just Not That Info You. Once that happens, and she explains and re-explains why it's relevant to them, she and Rafe would have a straight shot at being together (until she starts thinking of Austin again).

Aw! Those two crazy kids had a few romantic moments. You know the ones I'm talking about. Carrie hugs Austin, wishing he was Rafe. Austin hugs Carrie in total ignorant bliss. And then Carrie apologizes for everything from the tale of Crazy Abs to the economic downturn of 2008. Bartender, get these two another glass of denial and pass one my way.

Conversely, Austin should think twice about letting Carrie pick out the theme for the baby's room in the new dream house. She'll end up going with Rafe Chic. There'll be Rafe posters, a Rafe mobile with his picture taped to each dangly thing, and a Rafe-shaped Diaper Genie (because then Rafe could be literally filled with crap -- ba dum chhh!). Nevertheless, when the baby is born, I'm sure Austin will just be so gosh-darn-happy he won't even notice the baby's name is Raphael or Raphaela.

Is it sad that the most interesting part of Gabi's storyline is that the stalker is hot? Probably. But I digress. I know I shouldn't have laughed, but when she found the hamster/rat thingy in her salad, I did. I laughed. I was waiting for it to turn its head, look at her, and start singing, "Good mornin'! Good mornin'! We've talked the whole night through..."

Oh, and now Rafe knows about the sorta-stalker. He said he'd like to send Gabi away to a convent. Um, yes, please.

On a happier note, Molly Burnett's reactions as Melanie listened to Gabi go on totally cracked my Scoop up! I'm not a mind reader, but at one point, I'm pretty sure Mel was asking herself, "Seriously, what am I doing here?" I feel that way around Gabi, Mel.

I also refuse to believe Melanie doesn't know what's happening. I'm sure she doesn't suspect the depths of Gabi's infatuation, but her looks indicate that she knows Gabs wants to land her man. If she doesn't, I suggest the new, dumbest super couple be Melanie and Austin.

Hmm, I'm not sure I'm digging the idea of Chad turning to the dark side in the wake of Stefano's death. It hasn't happened yet-yet, but my Spidey Senses are tingling. On one side, it would be interesting to have a new, younger bad guy around. On the other side, Chad is a stoner turned hipster, and hipsters only get mad when people think they're not ironic.

I love that E.J. was so quick to point out Stefano's will wasn't executed. I forget sometimes that he is a lawyer. Then again, so do the writers.

So, E.J. promised Sami that no one would take Countess Wilhelmina from her. And then she gave him a supportive shoulder and sound advice. Don't look now, but these two might be growing up. It's a good look for them.

And the results are in! Rafe is Nicole's baby daddy. Or so say some tampered-with DNA tests. E.J. wasn't overly convinced, and I'm not overly convinced I'm into Nicole and Dr. Dan smooching. Then again, I'm pretty sure Nicole was playing him. So, go on with your bad self, girl.

E.J. told Nicole it's not over between them. Did you all catch that? Just making sure.

Extra Scoops

Last week some of DAYS' unsung heroes came out of hiding! First, Roman got time at the cool kids table, and then Sonny showed up to brighten my day. I enjoyed the way he shot down Will's 'tude and also how he stuck up for Sami. His cool, calm, and collected approach reminds me of Maggie a bit, and that's not such a bad thing. More, please!

Seriously, guys! No one wore a glove when picking up Abe's gun at the DiMera Mansion? Not Detective Brady or the Fancy-Faced Detective Brady. Not Agent Black, nor Kate who's committed enough crimes to know better. Not Marlena who wore gloves around town (indoors and out) for several straight weeks. And not Will, who was smart enough to disassemble a gun and dispose of it all around town. I'm rather disappointed in that crew. Unless they all planned it that way as an elaborate kill club or something. Hmm!

Kate (re: Stefano): "He's been dead and undead so many times that I can hardly count."

Gabi (to Andrew): "I'll call you if I need to be stalked!"

Sounds sane to me, Dear Gabs!

It only took Stefano's death to see another room in the DiMera Mansion!

Ciara has a much busier social life than I do.

Stefano's murderer gets some Bree van de Camp points for tidiness. He or she perfectly centered the gun on the tray.

Every time I type "Andrew" I instantly think of Andrew Donovan.

DAYS needs to stop casting ridiculously hot actors as drug dealers and pseudo-stalkers because it makes it hard to root against them (especially when they're messing with Gabi).

It still makes me giddy when Kate declares her love for Stefano.

When I saw him pop onto screen I literally said, "Holy [expletive]! It's Sonny."

So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of June 11! I'm not -- totally not -- going to burn a pair of black gloves I may or may not have had on while visiting Stefano. And while I'm off totally not covering up what could be considered a crime by some, Laurisa will be back next week to sort through the evidence. And, "That's a fact!"

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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