Whoah! We're gonna have a party in the Mediterranean Sea

For the Week of May 29, 2017
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Whoah! We're gonna have a party in the Mediterranean Sea
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Salemites down! Will the stranded seven be saved, or are we in for a long island adventure? Plus, Ciara says sayonara Salem while Brady's loved ones believe this is goodbye forever. Let's get 'Lost' in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

Last week on DAYS... Let's see, let's see. Opening credits, crying over Brady, blah, blah, blah, and then Xander showed up in a swimsuit. Did anything else happen after that? I kid, I kid. I know what time it is -- Island Party Time!

And, YES! This island storyline might deliver something on my DAYS' Wish List. In the Two Scoops for the week of April 3, 2017, I wrote in "RANDOM THOUGHTS," "I secretly want Eli to start calling J.J. "Li'l Buddy."' Um, yes. If this storyline doesn't scream Gilligan's Island meets Lost, I don't know what does. But before I get too excited, let's break this down...

First, Sonny's a pilot. Who knew!? Though it's not really that shocking, as Sonny slings a bag of surprises over his shoulder. He's climbed every mountain and wants to backpack in Peru. Him flying a plane is like an office coffee run for the rest of us. Sure, the first time we learn he's a pilot, he crashes, but everyone survived. So, party on, islanders.

For the record, I really think it was Julie's fault the plane went down. She is known to be, um, loud. I suspect her supersonic boom of bliss after learning Eli dumped Gabi may have shorted out the aircraft's instruments. That's just my working theory, of course, but I digress...

Sonny's need for speed, um, need to quickly obtain everything Titan, has him and Paul squabbling. I honestly see both sides of this coin. Paul isn't wrong for stressing that Sonny's unyielding ambition is a little jarring compared to the Care Bare we've all gotten to know over the years. Paul was kind of the afterthought when Sonny exclaimed, "I want Titan more than anything [awkward pause] except you." I suspect Sonny was playing Paul at that point, but the takeaway is Sonny wants his golden ticket, and he wants it now.

The other side is that Sonny wants to run Titan for the greater good of the family. He means well; it's just coming off a bit Veruca Salt. Still, I'm not sure who Sonny has to prove himself to or why they're using that as an excuse. His entire family and everyone who knows him thinks he walks on water. They always have. He's like the third coming after Jesus and Dr. Dan. Heck, he was recently described as "The best of us," "us" being the Kiriakis family.

Plus, Sonny has run businesses before. Aside from the local ones, he oversaw Titan Paris for a bit. The only thing Deimos has ever run was his mouth. I get that Sonny might feel jilted that Deimos was picked over him, but that was on Victor, and let's be real, Victor forgot everyone as soon as Deimos entered the room (and by "entered the room," I mean took everything away from Victor in a very vicious way). Hey, Vic, quick -- who's Bo, and how did he die? *cricket sounds* See what I mean?

I think Sonny should stand more on the "I can do better than that chump" platform rather than the "I need to prove something to someone" stage. It makes more sense. Sonny already does better and will do better than Deimos (or most). He's got nothing to prove other than being himself and guiding with the quiet strength he's always had. And if he doesn't think he can be Sonny and lead, he should hear more about Alice Horton, who led her family with an open heart, a lot of TLC, and a gentle but firm hand.

Also on the island, Chad and Gabi bickered a lot, Chad and Eli threw a lot of shade at each other, and J.J. and Lani were just kind of there. Oh, and Chad lied about throwing the cursed amulet into the ocean. Sorry, Gabs, he's not the old lady from Titanic. He knows the value of a dollar. Just kidding. Well, sort of. I don't know if I'd part with twenty million just like that, either. But that's neither here nor there. The amulet part of this storyline is unintentionally sort of hilarious. Actually, I loved, loved, loved the look on Eli's face when he asked/scoffed, "Cursed amulet!?" I know, man. I know.

But before the island, something amazing happened. Nicole became smart again! We'll see if it lasts, but she and the murderer, most horrible person ever, Eric, figured out Deimos and Xander's scheme from one text. It was so refreshing to see smart characters breaking things down on their own. Let's keep that ball rolling.

Then again, nothing about Deimos' arrest might stick. Xander is refusing to say anything at all. He's taking all the blame. See, Vic, he is a loyal member of the family, just, umm, to the wrong part of said family. But the most important thing to remember about this is that Xander is safe in police custody, he's not dead, and I'm not sending him a cake with a file in it and blueprints of the Greek prison. #keepXanaround

Then there's Guy. You know, the guy who agreed to be the informant on the bad guys. Yep, that guy. Well. He's dead. Lead gone.

And then there were the Salemites at the compound. Oh-My-Spanakopita, those celebration scenes at the crime scene hurt my head. Like, would any -- ANY -- of the evidence be usable since, one, none of them were wearing gloves, two, only three of them are in law enforcement, and, well, seriously, you see my point. They partied at the scene of a crime and totally compromised any evidence that might have been left. Then again, I guess the cage might be all the evidence one needs. Who knows. Their pattern of thinking is Greek to me. Sorry about that.

Meanwhile, back in Salem...

Brady is still in a bad way. His ticker -- 'xcuse me -- Dr. Dude's ticker is still failing him. There were some amazing performances revolving around Brady's battle to stay alive, but it's all rather depressing. I'm ready for him to either get a new heart (yes, please) or get well soon. I'm sending him balloons if anyone wants to chip in.

Conversely, I'd gladly give Brady my heart if part of the deal is to never hear about Dr. Dan again. Call me, Valerie. We can work out the logistics because every time a conversation begins with, "When Daniel died...," "Daniel would have wanted...," or "What would Daniel do?" I rush to my Soap Central contract to see if I get hazard pay. I don't. Maybe Power Suit Fun Sonny can negotiate that for me once he's off the island. Or, well, fire me, too. Sorry Bob in the copy room and Linda in HR, your days are numbered.

Well. I've been saying it for months now -- Ciara would probably leave Salem broken and defeated. Unfortunately, I was right. I'm surprised the writers didn't have her get into a car accident on the way to the airport. Or just have some random person walk by and punch her in the face. Never mind, Higs and company already kind of did that. My bad. I sure hope the new writers treat Bo and Hope's daughter better than the last when (and if) she does return in the fall.

Though I will say Ciara's exit worked a little better than I thought it would. For starters, I was never sold on a Ciara/Theo/Claire triangle. It's not that I prefer one or the other with Theo, but I didn't want to see it mess up Ciara and Claire's relationship. And last week, Claire was an amazing friend to Ciara. The way she stuck up to Wyatt, put Ciara above her own needs and insecurities by telling Theo to see her before she leaves, and apologizing/making things right made me feel good about the future of Jen and Hope 2.0.

Also, Ciara is going to stay with Shawn-Douglas and Belle. Yes, please! Can I go? At first, I was like, "Won't that be awkward, since Shelle's daughter is the other woman in this heartbreak?" And then the brilliance of Ciara staying with Shawn and Belle hit me -- those Last Blasters cornered the market on odd, incestuous-like relationships. Shawn, Belle, Philip, and Mmm...MiM...ugh, I can't...that stupid Lockhart girl pretty much passed each other around like hot potatoes. Yep. Shawn and Belle will get it and help.

Ultimately, if Ciara had just given her final rose to Rory when she had the chance, we wouldn't have any of these problems. Just saying. #TeamRory

If I truly believed Ava was dead, I'd say she was rolling over in her grave over Tripp's stupidity. I hate that he's being dumbed down to accommodate Jade's agenda. The guy came into Salem not trusting anyone but settles on the town's junior schemer whose stories are about as transparent as Deimos' truths? Look, he has no reason to believe Steve, Kayla, Joey, Adrienne, and the gang, and he certainly has reason to be suspicious, but to take Jade's words at face value is a little dimwitted, and the son of Steve and Ava should not be dimwitted.

I forgot to touch on this last week, but does anyone wonder if the Mexican drug lord that Dario is concerned about is the same Mexican drug lord that has Theresa? You know, the all-powerful drug lord who's greater than the combined forced of Shane, Victor, and the ISA. That one. Well, if there is another Mexican drug lord. Dario was lying a lot to Abigail, so I guess we'll file this under "Who Knows!?"

Extra Scoops

Drake Hogestyn kind of broke my heart last week. In a good way, of course. Those performances were some of his best to date. You can literally feel John's helplessness and heartbreak. And that lone tear on Tuesday!? Soul-crushing. Bravo, Drake. Bravo!

Also, sincere wishes of luck and gratitude to Vivian Jovanni! She brought Ciara into adulthood and through some of her (and the show's) darkest days. I have no doubt she'll shine in the future. Cheers to you, too, Vivian!

I'm very disappointed in DAYS. I was really expecting Ghost Dr. Dude and Brady to make sexy pottery while "Unchained Melody" played in the background. Fail, DAYS. Fail.

Another fail? Sure! Alive Brady doesn't need Dead Dr. Dan's permission to move on with Alive Nicole. Did Alive Dr. Dude ever ask Alive Lucas' permission before moving on with Alive Chloe (while she was still married to Lucas)? Nope. No, he didn't. Shut it down, phantom broseph. Your posthumous permission is not needed.

A third fail!? Yes, why not!? Why. Why Dead Dr. Dude? I know we never hear anything about St. Dr. Dan of Jonas or haven't had about five or so storylines revolving around his dead hourglass the past year and a half, but enough is enough already. It really should have been Isabella visiting her son at his bedside if they were going to go the ghostly visit route. That would have been much more powerful, especially given the parallels between Izzy-Bee and Brady both having young children when they died/are dying. Instead, we got a bro down, not-needed permission, and a dead guy telling Brady to fight for life. Guh-reat.

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Claire (to Wyatt): "Okay. Well, now it's my turn to tell it like it is. You are a pathetic loser who's never going to see Ciara ever again because she's a decent, honest human being whose been through so much hell in her life, okay, and if anyone else tries to hurt her ever, I will rip their flipping heart out. So, unless you want to bleed all over my carpet, get out!" #yougogirl! #bestbestieever

Hold up. That's not a fact, Mar Mar. Eric and Brady are stepbrothers, not half-brothers. I can't blame her too harshly, though. You kind of need a dual PhD, flow chart, highlighters, and a bottle of Scotch to make sense of Salem family trees. Plus, she was grieving and dealing with Victor. She gets a pass for now.

So -- just to be clear -- that's a "No!" on Wyatt getting a personalized Horton Christmas ornament?

Speaking of the holidays, I kept thinking Wyatt and Theo looked like Santa elves in their red and green shirts.

I love the way Steve loves Kayla so much.

I also love the way Abigail gave it to Deimos. That girl is on fire when she realizes how cool she can be. And someone please remind her and me of that when she marries Dario.

I think Xander's cage got more airtime than Roman or Abe this Sweeps.

I think the real loser this week is Hope. She had to sit beside Deimos on a flight back to Salem. Poor gal.

Can we just officially agree to call the baby "Holly Holly Huff 'N Puff" due to her loud breathing condition? That needs to be checked out. Someone page Dr. Mike Horton.

If we didn't dislike Wyatt enough, he had to brag that he "can get any girl on campus." He should really lead with that in his dating profile. I'm sure all the gals will swipe right. Rrriiiggghhhttt.

Marlena said of Brady's love life, "He found something in Nicole he thinks is worth fighting for." Wow. Nice, Mar. Next week, she tells her best friend, "I wouldn't wear that sweater, but it's okay for someone like you."

Also, should Marlena really judge other's love lives? There's a Titan conference room table and a guy named Alex North ready to testify. Shut it down, Mar, and take Jennifer's advice just to "love them through it."

The Patch Man brought up Stephanie! She needs to pay another visit. And slap some sense into her brothers because, let's be real, Stephanie didn't meet a bad decision she didn't attempt to date at their age. She can share some wisdom. Well, Stephanie's brand of wisdom.

Whoops! I just Marlena'ed Stephanie. Sorry, Doc. And sorry, Steph.

Hmm, Wyatt got an "at the door glare" moment after he left the loft. If Ciara wasn't leaving, I'd say this dude could be trouble. Then again, maybe he'll go after Theo and Claire, and then Claire can get even with him by introducing Wyatt to Jade.

Nicole brought up Melanie! I'm glad somebody did. Maybe Maggie should reach out to Li'l Giggly Red so she can Skype a goodbye to bestie/former fiancé, Brady. Just a thought.

I adore Chad's Chadness. He cracked me up with his lines, "We'll always have the meat locker, kid," and "Why so serious?" Maybe Chad goes to Kate and Andre's movie nights, too. Laurisa and I so want to be invited.

Was it only two weeks ago since Ciara slipped that letter into Theo's backpack. Two? Are we sure about that, writers?

Did henchman Guy remind anyone else of a young Joe Mantegna?

Snap! Gabi broke out "Chad Michael DiMera." Middle names usually mean big trouble. Now, if she breaks out the full, "Chad Michael Peterson-Woods DiMera," he better run.

Lani said, "I'm a city girl." Agreed. Let's go get a latte.

Tate's high-fives were adorable. If he has more to hand out, Kimmy Schmidt would die for someone to return hers.

Xander said to Eric, "See what happens to naughty boys in my house?" Um, okay, Xan. If that international badass thingy doesn't work out for him, maybe he can write a Fifty Shades-esque series.

So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of May 29! I hope everyone enjoys a happy, safe Memorial Day. Laurisa should be back from her trip to Greece and ready to dis on everything Salem next week. And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading!

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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