What made Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk regret keeping separate homes during their first year of marriage?

Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk reminisced on one aspect of their marriage and expressed regret. After marrying in 2018, they decided not to live together with their children immediately. They thought it would somehow be easier for their blended family. But in a recent episode of Paltrow's goop podcast, they discussed how that choice felt wrong in retrospect. Brad said,

"One thing we did that was maybe a little bit different was, we got married and then didn't move in together for a year."

They were married and both brought children from previous marriages. They hoped that keeping separate homes would ease the transition. Instead, they came to feel it caused more harm than good. They shared what went wrong and what they learned.

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What did Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk decide to do after their marriage?

Initially, Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk believed that not moving in together would help everyone feel safe and calm. They each had two teens who already lived part-time with one parent. By keeping separate homes, they thought they could be gentle and slow with their kids. Gwyneth said,

"I think at the time, we really felt like we were doing the right thing. We were trying to kind of land the plane very, very gently and slowly and get everybody on board. But I'm not sure that it didn't just prolong that thing of like, we don't know what we're doing."

Back then, this plan felt smart. They thought that slowly blending families would protect their children from feeling rushed or overwhelmed. At the time, it had a clear goal: to put everyone’s comfort first.

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Why do Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk feel it was a mistake?

Looking back, they said holding off on moving in together caused problems instead of fixing any. Brad said,

"But power, to actually keep these two adults from living together? I think it made them more uncomfortable and more like, 'Okay, this is not something that is solid.'"

He added that it gave the kids "too much power." He explained that their hesitation may have made kids feel like the new family was not firm or serious. That kind of confusion, he said, was "the opposite of what you want to do."

Paltrow agreed. She said they were trying to do right by everybody. But, in the end, not living together made things more shaky, not steadier. She also said,

"I think, as cheesy as it sounds, that love really is always the answer pretty much,"

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What did they learn, and what is most important now?

Both Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk took away some deeper lessons about family, love, and blended homes.

Gwyneth Paltrow said that in many ways, her stepchildren helped her learn what family is really about. She said,

"And intellectualizing or bartering or compromising, in air quotes. I just think in life, if you can ascend to the point where you love and forgive all the time, that's sort of the ideal state."

They also talked about how building a blended family takes time. Their kids had to find new roles, and Gwyneth Paltrow said she needed to show up with steady warmth and patience. She also said,

"I'm not saying that I'm able to do that all the time, but it did sort of show me the way."

She further added,

"It did show me the path, which I admittedly need to adhere to more. And I'm so incredibly grateful to your kids for that. I feel like they really helped me understand what the point of all this is."

Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk have been married for six years now and continue to be open about the functions of their lives together. Their story of their first year shows how they coped with the challenge of merging two households and the visitation of teenagers from prior marriages. By sharing it now, they provided listeners with a view of their life experiences during that time in their life, the decisions they made, and what they would have done differently had they done it again.