For the Week of May 9, 2005
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GH Two Scoops:  One flew over the cuckoos nest
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Why is Reese wearing a straitjacket? Did Nurse Ratched dress her?

Why is Reese wearing a straitjacket? Did Nurse Ratched dress her? I thought that Skunk get-up Lois had on awhile back was the worst outfit ever on soaps, but the white straitjacket blouse may have Lois beat. I keep waiting for NuCarly to take those strings dangling from Reese's blouse and tie Reese up to keep her from usurping her motherly duties. Reese's parenting skills would be put to better use if she taught Kristina how to talk. Although Kristina DID say a word this week, when asked "Can you say.........?" and Kristina was able to say it back - just like a parrot! (I forgot the actual word she said, being so mesmerized by the fact that sound actually emerged from her it sent me into a daze) But Reese has taken on the role of caregiver to Michael, and is actually quite sweet with him, straitjacket notwithstanding. She's becoming more co-dependent than I am which is saying a lot. She had a job to do and instead got swept up taking care of someone else's family. She has no family of her own; she's all alone in the world, and she gives herself to anyone who seems to need her. She longs to be loved, appreciated, and needed. She's hit the jackpot, as let's face it, Michael DOES need her.

Now that the mystery is solved we know Michael killed AJ. No one will really be able to blame him; he was raised by a hit-man and a mob boss. He knows when you have an enemy you eliminate them. And, as he said with his own lips "AJ had to be stopped." When Sonny finds out, he may actually have to reassess his life. He has lied to himself a long time saying "I can keep my family safe from my lifestyle." this will be undeniable proof that he's wrong. He has unwittingly created a "Mini Me." So now that the truth is out, how will the people who love Michael protect him from his crime? They won't send him to a shrink, but if he needs to vent, he can always confess to his little sister Kristina. She's not going to tell anyone. (Unless he asks her to repeat it back to him.)

Speaking of repeating things, every now and then I find myself yelling at my TV. I realize this means I am kooky, but hey, I can live with that. This week, I yelled "TELL HIM" to Emily several times while she was running in and out of the prison visitation room trying to tell Nik she had been raped. First, allow me to be shallow. Damn, Tyler Christopher is hot. Even in the orange prison jumpsuit. I want to personally thank the Powers That Be for that shower scene when Nik is trying to un-scruff himself for Emily's visit. Second, I have decided the only time I like Emily is in scenes with Nikolas. Why? Because he is so smitten with her that I think she must be wonderful, as he is wonderful. When a kind, decent, loving man finds you special, you must be special, right?

Elizabeth isn't as wowed by Emily as Nikolas is and gave her a stern talking to this week. My favorite line; "Take your little self back in there and tell him the truth!" When Emily was going to let Nikolas get roughed up by prison guards rather than tell him she'd been raped. When Emily said she couldn't - Liz's line "This is the most wrong you have ever been, Emily, I hope you don't regret this." That line really stuck in my head. I sure wish I had Liz in my life when I was doing Really Dumb Things to keep track of the MOST wrong I had ever been. (Betsy, make a list of my Most Wrong Top 10, okay?) But in truth, all of my "most wrongs" have names.

Skye would have Luke on her list, although I think she's mistaken about him being her Most Wrong. Not all good relationships make sense on paper. Sometimes a connection Just Is. Luke's a drunk and manages to get himself into trouble almost all of the time - he sinks into depression and becomes self destructive, he has a magnetic attraction to the dark side of the force, if you will. He is, in fact, a mess. Skye loves him anyway; in spite of it, or because of it, or for no reason at all. SHE LOVES HIM. Period. Her mistake is trying to make sense of it, to make it pretty so she can explain it to her family and friends, and really - WHO CARES? If Skye and Luke love each other, and make each other happy - who cares if their relationship is inexplicable to the people around them? Who cares if she is addicted to him- isn't how it SHOULD be when you're in love with someone? People spend too much time in life trying to please others as their own lives slip away, day by day tick tock, tick tock, as they try to please everyone who voices an opinion. That's a script for a misspent life, in my opinion. Skye just let yourself go and LOVE him- reason be damned.

Luke of course, is trying to catch the psychotic Helena again, by feigning a gunshot wound in a hospital. Thus it's not like they can go on a date right this second; timing is everything, isn't it? Helena has nabbed Emily as a hostage, so Luke had to shed his hospital gown for some real live clothes to go chase the crazy old bat around for the umpteenth time. He could have killed her 20 times over the years, but never has and probably won't this time because who wants to lose a villain as deliciously evil as Helena? If Mac at least glimpses her and knows she is alive so Nik can be freed of the murder charge, she can slink back off through the tunnels and come back to torment someone else later.

I'd kind of like to see Helena torment Alexis, as she is being such a ninny right now. Sure, Sonny is dangerous, but to bribe and scheme and try to trump up charges on the father of your child is a bit much, even for her. Who'd have ever imagined that Ric would be more reasonable than Alexis when it comes to Sonny? Hey, imagine a romance between John Durant and Helena. Of course if Durant keeps messing with Sonny, he could disappear, and Carly's no help to him anymore. She doesn't look like the Grandma in the old photo albums now, so why does he even still like her? I'll say it again, I don't hate NuCarly...But here are the things that have struck me. NuCarly is far harsher than old Carly; she's missing the tenderness that Tamara Braun brought to the role. Her acting is okay, she's holding her own in scenes with the big guns, but the difficulty is kind of a Stepford Wives issue. You can find a woman who looks like another woman, but it's not the look you loved, it's the soul of the person, and I miss Tamara Braun's soul; her essence. One of my readers/pals, Barb of NY has mentioned that because of the sort of person Braun is in the real world - she had a light in her that shown through in her acting. She couldn't hide her light even under the crazy character of Carly. I agreed, and I just haven't discovered Jennifer Bransford's own personal light yet, I guess. I don't believe people are interchangeable. I don't think you can connect with just anyone. I don't think a person can be replaced as easily as just finding someone that kind of looks like them from certain angles. Wouldn't it be a horrible world if we could all be replaced with any stranger passing by who bore a slight resemblance to us? So, I don't hate her, but she isn't Carly to me yet. And some recasts I have just given up on- Jed Allen will never be Edward Quartermaine to me, never ever ever.

Side notes... A few weeks ago I mentioned the Cinderella version with Stuart Damon (Alan Q) as Prince Charming. Then I rented it, and popped it in at my friends house with great childhood memories of watching it - and alas, watching a Made for TV special from the 60's is rather jarring as it turns out all the trees were made of cardboard, and the sets were really hokey and it made me laugh and cringe simultaneously. OTOH - I still dig the songs and Damon really WAS a handsome prince. Also - I've gotten a lot of emails lately saying "I just discovered your column, or "This is the first time" I've ever read this." Etc. So, I'm curious - do you faithful readers tell your GH watching friends, or did you spot a post on a message board or maybe a Google search? If this is your first time here, let me know how you found us, okay? Thanks!

What will happen tomorrow? Will Courtney invite any other people who have framed her for murder to move in to her loft? Will Jason ever step on Sam accidentally as she is always hovering underfoot? Will Kristina try to smother Morgan with her dirty pink bear? Will anyone ever remember Rachel is a blackmailing criminal who faked someone's death and arrest her? Will Sonny ask Carly to take off her heels since she has grown a foot taller than him? Will Bobbie ever take a day off from the hospital to come and see her presumed dead but miraculously alive grandson? Will anyone ever plan AJ's real funeral now that he's actually dead?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

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