You could call Luke Spencer a superman. He did save the world once. But when it comes to love, Luke is lethal to those unfortunate enough to love him. He's broken the hearts of Laura and Tracy more than once. Then, there was Felicia. Their one-night stand meant more to her than him, and he could never quite return her feelings.
Despite Luke's rocky track record, lately, the ladies are swarming, like bees to honey. Sure, one of those ladies is whack-a-doodle crazy and takes obsession to a whole new level. But, Heather is smitten with the silver-haired fox, just the same as Anna and Tracy.
What does Luke have that makes the ladies weak in the knees? One word, Scoopers: charm. My fellow Two Scoops writer, Liz, recently pondered why gorgeous, successful Anna DeVane would be attracted to Luke, considering that he isn't the town's greatest catch. Well, I agree with Liz that Luke wouldn't make it on my short list of Port Charles best men to date either. However, I do understand his appeal. He's a bad boy, a cocky rogue, with more swagger, charm, and wit than most of the men in Port Charles. Luke is smart and funny, and can charm and disarm like no other.
That said, what is Anna thinking hitting the sheets with Luke? I'm chalking it up to grief. Say it with me, Scoopers, "He's Robert's best friend!" Long-time viewers know that Robert and Anna are never done with one another. Their bond is too deep. So, her dalliance with Luke is a real head-scratcher.
As for Luke's sudden obsession with Anna, well, that has left me equally perplexed. Yes, I know she's gorgeous and sexy and smart. So are all of Luke's past lovers. All I can say is that Anna must be phenomenal in the sack. One tumble, and she has the-normally hard-to-commit Luke Spencer professing his feelings.
I'm not thrilled about Luke and Anna's affair, simply because I don't want to see Tracy, once again, lose her man. She and Luke are magic together. However, if this plays out the way I hope, then it paves the way for Robert to come back to town and put an end to his ex's newest pastime, and nothing would make me happier. I'm not sure who will be more ticked -- Anna or Robert -- when they find out that Luke has duped them all about Ethan's paternity. I can only imagine the scenes when Robert realizes he missed grieving for his daughter because of Luke's lie -- as well-intentioned as it was.
Maybe I'm grasping, but at least the writers seem to understand the past history of Anna and Robert. "Are you still in love with him?" Luke asked Anna. I was hoping for a different response than the one she gave, but the look that crossed her face was pretty clear to me. So, I'll tolerate this Luke/Anna fling for a little while. Although, I feel someone should warn Anna about Tracy. Yes, I know Anna is used to dealing with deadly assassins, but Hell hath no fury like Tracy scorned.
Consider this a sappy love note to the GH executives, producers, writers, and cast. Dear GH, I was actually sad that I didn't get to write this column last week because that was one of the best weeks of daytime drama I've seen in years. I can't tell you how long it's been since I rushed home to watch GH. Well, actually I can. It was the '90s. Lately, I somehow end up with five unwatched hours on my DVR on Fridays, because it's become almost a chore to watch the mob gang's Groundhog Day storylines year after year. But last week, I was hooked again.
Kelly Sullivan was simply brilliant, as she remembered Kate's brutal rape. I couldn't look away, no matter how uncomfortable it became. The same goes for John and Sonny's scenes, where Sonny explained how John's sister tragically died. Then, Luke bonded with his daughter and had a real conversation with her about his feelings for Anna. We haven't seen this side of Luke in so long! He's been an absolute ass to his kids for more years than I can count. Jason, Sam, Liz, Tracy, and the Davis ladies were solid, as always. And Mac and Felicia are back! Yes, I want to kiss you, new puppet-masters at GH. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Sincerely, Jennifer Biller.
Speaking of kisses, Mac and Felicia shared a liplock this week. I still have a soap grudge against her, but if it gets Mac some screen time and meaty scenes, I'm in. Let the romance blossom. (In your face, Alexis!) Sorry, Scoopers, that was so Carly Jacks of me.
Carly is intrigued by Todd. Who isn't? The guy has Luke Spencer's wit, Jasper Jax's money, and Sonny's arrogance. That's a sexy combination. Several readers have suggested that I research Todd Manning and learn his history. Is it wrong that I don't want to?
It's not because I'm lazy. It's because I'm enjoying him, and I told you in my last column, that I tend to hold soap grudges. I know Todd was a rapist, so it's hard enough to ignore that detail, but I'm trying. If I find out all the other horrific things that he's done in that other soap town, it will make him harder to like. And frankly, even though he switched those babies, I can't help but like him. His scene with Spinelli gave my remote a workout. I had to re-watch it a couple times because I was laughing so hard. Talk about awkward moments and best lines of the week. Todd Manning had more one-liners this week than Luke has ladies.
Another shocking twist this week had me doing cartwheels. Spinelli is no longer Maxie's doormat. Can I get a, "Woohoo?" I think we can all agree that Maxie treats her designer shoes better than love-sick Spinelli, and he'd finally had enough. I've been waiting years for Spinelli to blow up on that ungrateful, spoiled, little twit. His passionate speech was sincere, mature, and well deserved. Maxie is a tornado, and I'm glad Spinelli is finished being a tornado chaser. Move along, Damian. Maybe now that he's not acting like a sentimental fool, he can find a woman who will truly appreciate him.
As for another brilliant twist, I didn't foresee Patrick and Maxie as roommates. Thank you, writers, for that interesting plot. I can't wait to see how that plays out. As for Matt, is he just gone? He doesn't get a trial or a defense? He's just off to Pentonville? Well, who ever said Port Charles justice was fair?
In my last column, I took the show to task for using the "dream" and "imagination" technique where mysteries are revealed, only to find out they aren't real. This week, I stand up loudly and proudly to applaud two notable storytelling techniques I saw in play. I loved the cop-shop scene with Anna telling all the cops about the problems at the PCPD: a cop on the take -- cut to Deloris and her flashback with Johnny; the unsolved Anthony murder -- cut to Lulu listening to Luke confess that he had moved the body; and the shooting that left two people dead -- cut to Dante remembering the revelation that Kate supposedly did it and Sonny was covering it up. That storytelling technique was cool. I've never seen so much guilt in one room. I loved it.
I also loved the technique of having Mac and Felicia both tell their love story at the same time, juxtaposing each of their memories. It was well done and beautifully acted. Bravo.
I know it sounds like I'm gushing about GH, and you're right. But cut me some slack. It's been years since the show has seemed this on track. (Minus the baby switch debacle.) This new team seems to understand how to make the most of a moment. Case and point, Elizabeth was nervously awaiting her date when the doorbell rang. Instead of the hot new Aussie showing up on her doorstep, there stood Jason, looking like someone had just kicked his motorcycle. Jason and Liz have chemistry. It's undeniable. Whether Jason and Liz are just friends or more, I'm thrilled the writers are finally writing scenes for them again. (On a shallow note, does the stunning Rebecca Herbst ever age? I swear she never looks older than 18.)
There was so much yummy goodness packed in GH this week, it was better than a chocolate protein bar. I loved Spinelli's friendship with Sam, shirtless Todd readjusting his pants to entice Carly, and Heather insulting Olivia about her job at the Metro Court Hotel. ("Don't you just clean the rooms?" Bah ha ha ha.) Priceless. Then, there was Luke quoting Shakespeare: "Once more into the breach," Dante's new haircut, and Steve's white shirt. (Steve should be forced to always wear that shirt because he looked that good.) And my tortured Johnny is finally losing it, and I can see why. He's carrying around some serious guilt. That little girl popping up to "haunt" him gave me the creeps. I'd be reaching for a drink, too, Johnny.
I'm anxiously waiting for next week's shows so I can find out what kidnapper Heather is going to do with Luke and to see Tracy's reaction to Anna and Luke's affair. So, those of you out there who no longer watch the show and keep up through this column, I'm asking you to give the show another chance. It's good again.
The one thing I will pick on is Trey. What a tool. I'm glad he is in scenes with Starr, because after about two minutes of their bickering, I reached for the fast-forward button. Please, Kristina, run from this loser. Many of you have sent me your theories on who Trey will turn out to be. Most of you think he'll be Kate's dresser-drawer baby. I can only hope you are wrong. One Two Scoops reader had a brilliantly better solution. Check out Mandy's theory in our Reader Spotlight section at the end of this column as to who she thinks Kate's son should be. It's sheer genius.
Before I go, I want to remind you to watch the Emmys this weekend. The show is being broadcast on HLN at 8 p.m. (eastern) June 23, and from all the stories I've read, I think it's finally going to be a show that soap fans will enjoy. Long-time readers of my column know how I've ranted the past two years about the absolute absurdity the show has become, with all the ads for Vegas and the appalling lack of respect toward daytime dramas, especially those that were cancelled.
From what I've read, it seems the show will be back on track this year. The National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences apparently received so many gripes about the past few shows that it sat down with the daytime actors and producers to get their complaints about the previous telecasts. I hope they read my 2010 column. I'll leave it at that.
I think it's going to be a great year for GH at the Emmys. I don't see how anything could beat the episode of Luke's intervention. And as for Anthony Geary, well you know he's got my vote. See, I told you that Luke has a way with the ladies.
(Todd visits Starr at her new apartment and questions her choice of living arrangements.)
Todd: "What does this place have that mine doesn't?" (Hot-guy Trey emerges from the bathroom, clad only in a towel.) I was wondering what you could get here that you couldn't get at my place. I was thinking maybe like a washer and dryer."
(Starr introduces Trey to her father.)
Todd: "Who is this joker?"
Trey: "To answer your question, I'm a grad student at Yale. I also happen to produce reality TV."
Todd: "That's impressive. You managed to say three things in one sentence that make me not like you."
(Later) Todd to Starr: "I don't like your roommate."
Starr: "I'm glad. I don't either. We're just sharing expenses."
Todd: "That's not code for anything right?"
(Spinelli tries to distract Todd, so Sam can escape his hotel room, by making small talk.)
Spinelli: "The décor is very tasteful. The wall treatments are really lovely. Soothing. I can't quite make out the color. Dusk?"
Todd: "It'll be blood red in a minute if you don't quit babbling and get the hell out of my room. "
(Talking to Steve, Heather explains that reading the Sun newspaper at the hospital was her favorite pastime.)
Heather: "At Ferncliff, it was lights out by Grey's Anatomy."
(Psychopath Heather tries to blackmail Todd into giving her a job at his newspaper.)
Todd: "What are you good at?"
Heather: "It's obvious, isn't it? Style editor."
Todd: "Maybe the obituaries."
Heather: "Do you really think that's appropriate for me?"
Todd: "Maybe gardening, since you're so handy with a shovel and a wheelbarrow."
Thank you for all your fantastic emails. Each week I am so impressed with your theories, thoughts, and gripes. Please keep them coming. This time, you were angry about the baby switch storyline, you shared some soap grudges and casting ideas, and you couldn't stop raving about the talented Kelly Sullivan and her portrayal of Kate.
New character Trey had you talking, as well as the casting of Joe Scully Jr.
What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.