Pop goes the weasel!

For the Week of July 29, 2013
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GH Two Scoops: Pop goes the weasel!
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Does a little lying, lab result-switching, and blackmail make someone a terrible person? Just when you think you have someone figured out, you're reminded why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. This week's Two Scoops looks at the evil and the merely misunderstood.

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From the minute Brad came on canvas, he's been a weasel. He's switched lab results, blackmailed people, and tried to force straight people to have sex with him. And it made me mad because we only have two gay characters in Port Charles, and I didn't want one of them to be an ass.

But at the end of Friday's episode, we got a hint that perhaps Brad is only scared and vulnerable, just like the rest of us. I am hesitant to trust him, though. It's possible he could be working Felix, but I don't think so. If Brad turns out to be a decent guy with a few rough edges and he's a love match for Felix, I will root for a happy ending. Felix is the most supportive friend ever and pours his heart into to all the people he encounters, and he deserves to have his cup refilled with love by someone amazing.

Michael deserves to be loved, too -- but his luck has been lousy. He lost Abby, the artist formerly known as Starr Manning evaporated into Soap Heaven, and Kiki was his cousin, but now is not his cousin, but no one knows it and she's still engaged to his brother. Wow.

I was rooting for A.J. to retain control of ELQ because the poor guy has been defeated way too many times in his life. I am pretty sure the only reason he did retain control is that Kiki voted with Michael and A.J. That sort of loyalty will inspire Michael to want to kiss her again. Of course that's fine because they are not related, but they don't know that yet.

Silas is trying to convince Morgan to man up and tell Kiki the truth, but Morgan doesn't strike me as a very selfless individual. After all, he did jack his brother's credit card and max it out and is probably doing the same thing to Ava's card right now, so he may or may not be motivated to do the right thing.

But the truth will come out eventually, just hopefully before the wedding and not after.

Last week on Soap Central Live, we discussed the character transformations of John/Silas, Todd/Franco, and Starr/Kiki -- certainly it was mentally jarring to viewers to have the same actors show up one day in new roles, but the choice was either change their characters or lose them from the canvas, and I believe the right choice was made.

I confess that I watched OLTL solely for Roger Howarth, and when he left and Trevor St. John came back as Todd, I quit watching the show and didn't start watching again until Roger Howarth came back. I was never invested in OLTL as a whole the way I am in GH as a whole; I was watching for Roger.

So, having Roger as Todd, or Franco, or Franco with a brain tumor who thinks he is Jason, or whatever role they give him, I'm in.

When Franco (in the midst of his Jason delusion) walked down Sam's stairs, sporting Jason's leather jacket and his hair spiked up, I laughed so loud I am sure my neighbors closed their windows.

When he kissed Sam and she tried to wriggle away from him like the cat with paint on her back tries to wriggle away from Pepe Le Pew, I laughed again.

But when Carly related to Franco as though he really was Jason and talked him down from harming Danny, I stopped laughing. I found those scenes to be incredibly moving. We haven't seen a lot of Carly's grief over losing Jason, but it was all in her eyes as she talked to Franco. Carly hates Franco, but when he believed he was Jason, she stopped hating him a little, I think. She related to him and talked to him as though he really were Jason.

Now that she realizes he had a brain tumor, just like Jason did, the residual love she has in her heart for her deceased best friend will transfer over to Franco, I think. She hates what Franco did, but now knowing the reason he did those things, I think she will be the first to afford him a little bit of understanding, maybe even forgiveness.

And of course, I am rooting for this, since Roger Howarth and Laura Wright have crazy chemistry together, and I want to watch them make out.

Sam might have a bit more trouble forgiving Franco, but since he is the sole bone marrow match for baby Danny, she will have to make peace with the thought of his marrow oozing into Danny's tiny body.

Sam is afraid Franco might die on the table and be unable to donate the marrow, but we all know that won't happen. This scare was, IMHO, merely an excuse to get Sam to land in Silas' arms for comfort. As Shakespeare said, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Frankly, I don't care if they call those two actors Livvie and Caleb, Sam and John, or Sam and Silas; they work together.

We had another potential match for baby Danny, which is Sam's father, but sadly, Alexis can't recall the name of the guy she met and bedded in the backseat of a car one dark knight. The Ouija board knows it "starts with a J," and on Soap Central Live, Dan J Kroll listed all the people on GH of all time whose names began with J, and we ruled out Julia Barrett and Jenny Eckert as potential dads for Sam, but the rest of the J names are up for grabs.

My money is on Jerry Jacks because of A) his longstanding obsession with Alexis and B) his "Sweet Sam" nickname for Ms. McCall when he held her hostage in the Metro Court. Perhaps he remembers their backseat dalliance even though Alexis doesn't. And since Jerry is crazy, it would make perfect sense that he hadn't mentioned it before. He's not a very forthcoming guy.

Right now, Jerry is off-canvas, but his character is potentially involved in several major storylines -- the cure for Luke's poisoning supposedly lies in Jerry's hands; the last time we saw Robin in the creepy hospital with Dr. Obrecht, Jerry was lurking about; and Sam needs a dad whose name starts with J. I've got my eyes peeled for a Sebastian Roché sighting.

Speaking of Dr. Obrecht, I find it very creepy how she just suddenly materializes in Port Charles at random times. I feel bad for Britt, because just about the time she starts softening and seeming like a character I might like, her creeptastic mother shows up and turns her back into Evil Fembot Doctor from Hell.

I loved the scenes with Britt and Nik where she actually came clean about what she had done and why she had done it. I went from hating her to thinking about all the stupid things I have done for men in the history of my life. And it's a long, long list.

For instance, in junior high, I had a mad crush on a boy and heard him talking about golf. Aha! I had to learn about golf! I told my mother I wanted to learn to golf and that the school had an after-school golf club that met weekly. My mother told me we didn't have money for clubs, and since the school required you bring your own, I couldn't sign up.

So, I called my Grandpa who was a golfer and did my best adorable little girl voice, "Hi Grandpa, I really want to learn to golf, but I don't have clubs. Could I borrow yours?" He explained that I could use them, but that he was left-handed and I was right-handed, and I might have a hard time learning. I assured him I would be able to learn to golf left-handed.

I joined said club, asked the boy I was crushing on if his mom could drive me home, left my books in his car on purpose so I could call him and pretend I wanted to know what our homework was. I did this every week for six weeks.

It was working great! We were golfing and talking about homework, and he'd even say "Hi!" to me if he passed me in the hall!

And then his dad got transferred to Detroit, and I never saw him again and never golfed again either. Ha.

But back to GH! Britt told Nik she wasn't perfect, and Nik, also being imperfect, understood. They are forming a sweet and honest friendship, which will probably evolve into romance, until he finds out that she is lying about whom the father of her baby is, and then it will blow up. Or so I predict.

Dear readers, I had a hard time watching GH this week because I live in San Diego, "America's Finest City" as it is rightly but clumsily nicknamed, and apparently our mayor can't keep his hands off the ladies. Every day this week, during GH, the press would interrupt GH with some breaking news of another woman coming forward to say our mayor is a horn dog. Sigh.

So in order to watch GH, I had to go online and watch, or try to catch it on SoapNet, but it was worth the effort to see Laura Baldwin-Spencer-(Cassadine)-Spencer-Baldwin emerge back into the Tiger Laura that I so adore. "I think Luke needs someone right now, and I think it's me." As much as Luke and Tracy care for one another -- if Luke is out there on an adventure, fighting for his life, and it has to do with Helena, no one knows how to fight that battle better than Laura.

Laura told Scott that this wasn't history repeating itself, but I confess, I kind of hope it is.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Alexis have flashes of a dimly lit face in the back of a car? Will Maxie's baby bump still be the size of a schnauzer puppy? Will Elizabeth dump A.J. to fight Britt for Nik just because she can't bear to think he could actually get over her? Will Monica and Dr. Lesley go to coffee and talk about he good old days when they used to swap husbands? Will the Quartermaines ever think to put a lock on their patio door? Will the Dominator refuse to let Kiki drink cocktails anymore, since Morgan won't quit lying about her age? Will Ava turn out to be Olivia Jerome's sister?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.


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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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