A girl does need her bacon

For the Week of October 28, 2013
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GH Two Scoops: A girl does need her bacon
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We kicked off the week with a proposal of marriage, a long-awaited rescue, a satisfying confession, and the coup de grāce of a friendship. From there, things got really exciting, so it's time to grab your BLTs and shakes from Kelly's as Liz Masters takes a stab at this week's Two Scoops.

Patrick's spontaneous heartfelt proposal would have been hard for anyone to turn down, even with the mountain of doubts that Sabrina had about where Patrick's head was, so I really can't blame her for agreeing to be the new Mrs. Drake. Sabrina has been in love with Patrick since the day she laid eyes on him, and as far as she is concerned, Robin is dead, so Sabrina doesn't have any reason to believe otherwise.

Except Sabrina lives in Port Charles, which, let's face it, is the Mecca of the walking dead. A.J., Duke, Robert, Anna, Julian, Laura, Luke, Faison, Jerry, and a dozen others have been thought to have been killed at one time or another. With odds like that, a phone call from a dearly departed one shouldn't be dismissed quite so quickly as a mean-spirited prank. Especially if it's from a blocked number and suddenly cuts out right after the caller identifies themselves.

I don't think that Sabrina will be as crushed when Robin returns to reclaim her family as she would have been a few months ago. Sabrina is showing classic signs of protesting just a tad too much where Carrrrlos is concerned. Like Patrick, Sabrina says all the right things, but her actions tell another story. Carlos made a good point when he told Sabrina that she could have called him to tell him to stop messing with Patrick's head instead of storming into Crimson, filled with righteous indignation.

I'm slightly amending my initial impression of Carlos. I no longer feel the abuser vibe coming from him. While I still think that he's manipulative, dangerous, and domineering, I don't think that he would hurt a woman he loves for the sheer pleasure of asserting his dominance. He's definitely capable of hurting someone because of the line of work that he's in, but not someone that he cares about.

However, my opinion about him seeming way too old to be Sabrina's ex remains unchanged. I get the sense that he's closer to Julian and Ava's age than Sabrina's. Not that an older man and younger woman is unusual, but the impression I had was that they dated when Sabrina was in high school, which gives their relationship an icky taint because someone in their late twenties has no business being around a teenager still in high school.

I also cannot see these two as a couple on an emotional level. Sabrina is too sweet, too Pollyannaish with a strong sense of right from wrong to be drawn to a guy who lives on the wrong side of the law. Men like Carlos don't get where they are overnight. They have to move their way up in the ranks of a criminal organization, which requires them to do a lot of illegal things. Sabrina is innocent and trusting, but she's not stupid or blind.

Sure, girls are drawn to bad boys, but nothing about Sabrina strikes me as a girl that would date a criminal.

Meanwhile, on Cassadine Island, the League of Doom faced off with the Scorpios and Nikolas. It was fun, exciting, and wildly entertaining. There were moments that I expected the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D to descend upon the island and call in Iron Man for backup.

I thoroughly enjoyed every single moment of the scenes on the island. The writing was absolutely stellar and probably why I found my teenagers hanging out in the living room, pretending that they weren't watching when in fact I know that they were.

In the words of my daughter, "I know it's wrong and that I probably shouldn't, but I really like Jerry Jacks."

Anna and Robert's face-off with Jerry was just one of my many favorite scenes this week. Jerry is charmingly diabolical and utterly unapologetic about it. Just when you think he's completely black-hearted, he shows us a glimmer of humanity by worrying about the missing baby. I think he's perfectly capable of killing Robin, but ultimately, I don't think that he would because he knows how much it would hurt his brother, Jax, if Jax were to learn that Jerry had killed Robin.

Anna and Robert are another story. I don't think that Jerry would hesitate to take them out, so Robin should tread very carefully while she's in Port Charles.

I thought that it was clever how they juxtaposed the scenes of Robert and Anna talking about who might realize that they were missing and send out a search party with the scenes of Mac and Duke working together and even calling Frisco -- I guess Mac and Frisco kissed and made up -- to raise the alert that Robert and Anna had disappeared.

This week, General Hospital proved that action and adventure doesn't always have to be high-tech cinematography and big showy stunts. I was riveted to every single episode this week because the writing was fast-paced, interesting, and loaded with exciting cliffhangers and juicy plot twists.

At first, I thought that it was preposterous that Robert knew that Julian Jerome was alive all this time until he explained that the World Security Bureau had been behind it. It was the only explanation that I could have accepted because only the WSB would have that kind of power over Robert. It also neatly explained how Julian had been mistaken for dead yet had make it out of the morgue alive. Additionally, we now know why Julian won't have to face any charges for the crimes that he committed prior to his "death."

I can't blame Robin for not staying behind in the lab when Nikolas showed up. Not even the threat of a nuclear holocaust would have prevented me from leaving, so I'm not disappointed that Robin missed her parents by mere minutes. However, I did think that it was a little premature for Robin to gloat to an unconscious Dr. Obrecht about reuniting with Patrick and Emma. Robin totally jinxed herself.

I'm curious how many readers jumped up and yelled, "I knew it!" when Britt confessed to Faison that she did not give birth to her own biological child? My 100-pound boxer-mix lapdog, Max, practically fell off the sofa when I screeched with delight and startled him awake. He glared at me indignantly, but I just kissed his furry fat face and crowed with satisfaction because I knew from the moment that Britt's pregnancy was revealed that the baby she carried had to be Dante and Lulu's.

Naturally, Britt promptly denied it when Faison outed her to Nikolas, but I don't care because I don't believe her. Nothing short of a DNA test conducted in an FBI lab and overseen by Anna, Dante, and newly reinstated chief of staff Monica will convince me that Britt is Ben's mother.

Ideally, Nikolas will find out that Ben is really his sister's son, Rocco, and make sure that Ben is promptly handed over to Lulu and Dante. This will hopefully then pave the way for Nikolas and Elizabeth because I really can't see him wanting to have anything to do with Britt once he realizes that she stole Lulu and Dante's embryo to trap a guy (Patrick) into marriage.

I've been falling in love with Nikolas all over again, despite his visual impairment that keeps him from seeing that little blond Ben doesn't have a drop of Asian blood in him. Granted Nikolas is supremely gullible when it comes to Britt and strangely quick to forgive all of her transgressions, but I adore how sweet, tender, gentlemanly, and generous he is. Although, I wouldn't put it past Nikolas to have a secret red room somewhere in that castle of his where he channels his inner Christian Grey.

I would much rather have Elizabeth, not Britt, be his Anastasia Steele because I'm clearly not going to get any Quiz scenes, since A.J. has mysteriously disappeared from our television screens.

Nikolas returned to Wyndemere in time for Halloween with a cast of characters including Liesl "Ze Clamps" Obrecht and the object of her obsession, Cesar Faison, whom she refuses to make aelplermagronen for. It's a Danish version of mac and cheese; I took Faison's advice and Googled it.

Anders Hove has been positively delightful to watch. I find myself smiling whenever I see him playing with "little Cesar" in the background. I imagine for a baby that a character like Faison has to be terrifying not just to look at but to be around, so it's a testament to Anders the man that he can keep the baby happy and entertained while the other actors work.

I am absolutely in love with Faison and Liesl as a pairing. They are like the Al and Peg Bundy (Married with Children) of dastardly villains. GH has struck gold with these two, so I really hope that they stop in to visit Britt frequently, especially for the holidays. Christmas with the Faisons would be a riot. I'm not a Britt fan, but I don't dislike her as much as I once did because her crazy parents are a hoot.

Maybe Liesl and Faison can be on hand to help Britt get over pain of having to give up the baby that I'm sure she's grown to love.

I want Ben to be Lulu and Dante's son because I believe it's the only way to salvage Lulu and Maxie's friendship. I don't have any doubt that Lulu sincerely loves Connie and is absolutely heartbroken over all of this, but I also think that she's being fueled by a hefty dose vengeance because she rightfully feels hurt and betrayed by what Maxie did.

I want to stress that I don't think that Maxie and Spinelli are unfit parents, but I don't think Maxie should be able to simply walk away with her baby without any repercussions. If there aren't any consequences then there's no lesson to be learned. What Maxie did was wrong, and Lulu did not deserve to bond with a child that she now has to give up. And she will ultimately have to give the baby up because legally, Maxie is entitled to change her mind even if it had been an outright adoption.

Maxie didn't break the law, so the law can't punish her. Therefore, I don't mind if Lulu makes Maxie squirm a bit. Maxie was willing to give away her own daughter to cover up a lie. I know Maxie insisted that she did it because she thought that Lulu and Dante deserved to be parents, but Maxie didn't fight to get her daughter back until Brad blabbed. Before that, Maxie used every tactic in the book to pressure and manipulate Ellie and then Spinelli to go along with her plans.

I received several emails from readers who insisted that Maxie and Mac were related. They are not. Frisco's brother was Tony Jones, not Mac Scorpio. Mac's brother is Robert Scorpio, which means that Robin is not Maxie's blood relation either.

I know that some people were not happy with how Frisco was written upon his return, but I wasn't one of them. I love Jack Wagner, but Frisco spent the last few decades choosing country over family, so it doesn't make sense that he would suddenly have an epiphany about what he was missing out on and want to lay down roots. He should have had it when Georgie died. Frisco can't rewind time anymore than anyone else can. His mistakes were made, and the damage was done. I think the only way to truly make amends is by staying true to yourself and taking the time to build new bonds, not repair old ones that were replaced long ago.

Maxie accepted that her father is a modern day swashbuckler, and she's okay with that because she has Mac in her life. She grew up with a positive male role model who was a consistent part of her life, so she doesn't need another daddy. She needs a father who stays in touch, who makes time to visit her, and who takes a genuine interest in her life. Frisco can do that and still live his life he chose.

Elsewhere in town, Morgan has discovered that a whole lot of stuff has been going on right under his aquiline nose.

A minute inside of Morgan's head, brought to you by Corinthos Coffee, the preferred coffee of mobsters everywhere. Nothing starts the morning like a cuppa Sonny.

"I hate shirts. They hide my awesome chiseled chest and ripped eight-pack. It takes hours of hard dedication everyday to look this hot. That's why I can't work. Between my online gambling, looking gorgeous, and steamy sex sessions, I don't have time for a job. Hey, maybe I can make money selling my shirts on eBay. Then I can have more money to gamble with and ditch the shirts forever. Dude, I'm a genius!"

This loop repeats itself throughout the day, keeping Morgan distracted from things like closing the door behind him when he leaves his place -- correction, someone else's place -- and shutting his mouth instead of blurting out things that he probably shouldn't, like admitting to snooping in a woman's purse and overhearing a private conversation about a secret identity and a murder plot.

It's a good thing that Ava has a soft spot for Morgan because that boy needs someone to look out for him until his mother can find him.

I can't believe that Carly wasn't been able to track Morgan down until Sonny told her where to find him. Nearly everyone in town knows where Morgan is, so it's not like he was hiding. On top of that, I'm pretty sure that Carly or Sonny pays for that nifty little cell phone that Morgan, the jobless wonder, is using. My kids are brutal on their cell phones, so I don't buy the expensive ones, but I can still track their phones with a few clicks of my mouse to let me know where they are.

I was greatly disappointed, but not surprised, when Morgan flew off the handle at the warehouse because he learned that Sonny had given Michael a job managing Pozzulo's. Morgan was already in a sour mood when he walked in because he had read way too much into Sonny's words to Michael moments earlier when Sonny had confessed that it was good to have Michael close to him. Plus, Morgan has a chip on his shoulder because Michael ended up with the girl when Morgan's lie blew up in Morgan's face.

However, it really bothered me how Morgan called Michael his "bitch brother." I don't know why, but it struck me as particularly ugly and insensitive given that Morgan takes absolutely no responsibility for his role in the breakdown of his farce of a marriage. He's blaming everyone except himself, which annoys me and keeps me from feeling any sympathy for him.

A part of me had really hoped that Carlos would knock Morgan around a bit before he deposited Morgan in Julian's office. Morgan so richly deserves a big ole ass whooping, especially now that he has defected to the other side. Sadly, I don't think that it's just a ploy to buy himself time so he can turn to Sonny for help. Morgan's hatred and resentment towards Michael appears to be deep-seated, so I suspect that for Morgan, it's not so much that he's going up against Sonny but rather that he's going up against Michael.

It struck me on Friday that Morgan grew up to be exactly how I had imagined Michael to turn out, and Michael became the man that I had envisioned Morgan to be one day.

Finally, Heather dropped off her abstract sandwich paintings at Franco's suite and then hightailed it over to Kelly's for a BLT, and she bumped into her old lover, Scotty Baldwin. The conversation between the ex-lovers proved to be quiet illuminating as it answered the baffling question of when exactly Heather developed her passion for Kelly's BLTs. It appears to have started when she fell in love with Detective Joe Kelly, whose aunt and uncle, Rose and Paddy Kelly, had opened the waterfront diner.

Scotty was right, a girl does need her bacon.

I appreciated the little stroll down memory lane, and I'm really looking forward to next week when GH visits Ryan's Hope. I remember my mother watching the show, so I would catch it whenever I was home from school or on summer break. I recall some of the main characters and a little of their backgrounds, but not much.

The previews show Sam and Silas meeting Delia, so I suspect that Delia will turn out to be Ava's mother, which I think is fantastic casting and very plausible. From what I recall of Delia, she was insecure, ditzy, and desperate to be loved, so she would have been ripe for the picking for a womanizer like Victor Jerome.

A few things that tickled my fancy

Britt is shocked to discover that Robin is alive and demands to know if Liesl had known from the beginning that Robin was not dead
Liesl: (scoffs) "What does it matter? Where is your father? Where is Cesar?"
Jerry: "Finally a pertinent question. Now, please enlighten us. Where is that outrageously expensive and increasingly bothersome uber-criminal?"

Jerry Jacks threatens to turn Liesl Obrecht and Cesar Faison over to the World Security Bureau
Nikolas: "Oh, don't sell yourself short there, Jerry. I'm sure the WSB would be interested in your whereabouts right now."

Diane stops by Ava's penthouse and greets Ava and a shirtless Morgan
Diane: "Morning, you two. Oh, Morgan -- I see you still haven't found your shirt."

Ava is infuriated when she finds out that Morgan went through her purse, looking for a pen
Ava: "Pen? I've never actually seen you write. Don't you text all of your correspondence?"

Franco assures Diane that the person who created the artwork won't object to him passing the paintings off as his own
Franco: "She's not going to do that. She's my number one fan."
Diane: "Something tells me you're not up on the works of Stephen King."

Thank you for taking the time to read this week's column. I love to read your thoughts, too, so click here to send me an email, or scroll down the page to leave comments.

Until next time, dear readers, take care.
Liz Masters

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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