Every party has a pooper

For the Week of June 15, 2015
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GH Two Scoops: Every party has a pooper
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Laura's return wasn't a hit with everyone -- just ask Tracy -- but it also wasn't the only thing that had people talking this week. Sloane got a new job, T.J. got arrested, Sabrina got suspicious, and Obrecht got a visitor. It was a busy week for the folks of Port Charles, and now, at long last, it's our turn to dish about General Hospital!

Let's get this out of the way up-front: Laura (and portrayer Genie Francis) looks amazing. No wonder when she strolled into Tracy and Luke's engagement party, some of the guests started talking trash. (Yes, we're talking about you, Bobbie!) Haters gonna hate, am I right? You can't blame Tracy for getting hot under the collar... and what a glam collar it was! Sure, Laura looked sleek in her leather, but Tracy's black-and-white outfit was perfect for both the character and the about-to-unfold drama.

While this was Laura's big, splashy return, Tracy totally stole her thunder. After Luke and Laura chatted -- a conversation, not coincidentally, we weren't privy to -- and Tracy found out her engagement was really, most sincerely, off, Jane Elliot offered viewers a master class in acting. Kudos to both the dialogue writers and directors who allowed Tracy to fully vent without ever going over the top. Heck, there were even laughs, with Carly and Sonny commenting from the sidelines. ("Tracy sounds a little harsh!" he quipped, much to Carly's delight.)

It was pretty clear that there was more going on than met the eye and that this was another case of something happening off-screen that we weren't privy to. Lately, this is a trick that GH has taken to using with almost as much frequency as it does people having private conversations in public places and then being surprised when they are overheard.

Although Tracy was doing her best to wound Luke ("I will walk away, and I will never, ever look back, and you will be utterly and completely alone."), it was pretty obvious she was projecting. And with the countdown to Tony Geary's exit at about nine weeks and counting, it's hard to imagine how these two will reconcile!

The other big event this week was T.J.'s arrest, which also happened off-screen. Seems he was the victim of racial profiling after trying to buy Molly a pair of earrings at Wyndham's. (You've gotta love how the department store, best known as the location of Luke and Laura's infamous dance to the tune "Fascination," pops up from time to time.)

What's baffling is that Dante apparently hauled T.J. down to the station, handcuffed him to a table, and then took off to deal with another case. Call me crazy, but if I'd just arrested the boss's son, I'd make sure to fill her in on why. Call, send a text, scribble a note... the one thing I wouldn't do is leave her hanging!

The dialogue about racial profiling and discrimination that resulted was fantastic but, if we're being honest, felt weirdly out of place for two reasons. First, they came out of nowhere. We had T.J. and his mom talking about how they've dealt with discrimination for years, yet never once have we seen any such thing unfold on-screen.

But perhaps the bigger problem was that the storyline simply did not feel like a natural fit for this particular soap at this particular time. It's almost whiplash-inducing to go from scenes in which serial killer Franco exchanges barbs with the deliciously over-the-top Obrecht to dialogue about racial profiling in modern America.

And not for nothing, T.J., but if the best example of racial profiling you can come up with, other than yourself, is Shawn, well, we'd just like to remind you that he is a gun for hire. Sure, he's a notoriously bad shot, but still... it's not like he was sent to prison for jaywalking!

Speaking of prison, it was nice to see Madeline back in action. You almost have to feel sorry for Nina, what with Madeline and Ric doing everything in their power to rob her blind. Then again, let this be what Dr. Phil would call a teachable moment, gentle readers: don't marry virtual strangers. It ranks right up there with letting your children grow up to be cowboys in the major mistake category, even if nobody's ever written a song about it.

It's a little unclear if Ric and Nina have, you know, sealed the deal, but I can't help thinking that I sort of want Madeline and her new son-in-law to take a walk on the wild side. Then again, I keep imagining how much fun a Franco/Obrecht hookup would be, so I might have a few issues that need to be worked out.

One couple I have no problem shipping, even though I know some of you are gonna hate hearing it, is Anna and Sloane. Sure, she slipped between the sheets with him approximately five minutes after Duke died, but there's no denying their crazy chemistry! But those of us wanting to see Sloane and Anna's relationship develop will have a bit of a wait, given that her portrayer, Finola Hughes, is going to be off the canvas until sometime this fall.

In the meantime, however, we will be able to continue watching the so-wrong-it's-right pairing of Ava -- sorry, "Denise" -- and Morgan. When in a moment of passion, Denise muttered that she'd missed Morgan, we thought he'd surely realize that he'd been locking lips (again) with Kiki's mom. But he bought Denise's lame excuse, as she no doubt knew he would. After all, it was Denise who declared of the young hunk, "You're cute, but you're dumb." (Although, in defense of Morgan's IQ, he did score major points by referring to Silas and Ava as "the esteemed oncologist and the colorful cosmetologist." Try saying that three times really fast!)

Moving from cute to downright hot... can we talk about how nicely Jake cleaned up? Who knows where he got the money for that spiffy suit he wore after being hired as ELQ's new security guard, but who really cares? And throwing Jake into the ELQ mix creates fun on several levels. First, the Jason/Michael connection was always one viewers loved, so seeing that play out again -- even if neither character realizes it -- gives us the same feelings.

And, of course, Jake and Sam are now both working toward solving the same mystery, so we get to continue to explore their still relatively unexplored chemistry. As an added bonus, there's the fact that Liz is having daily, sometimes even hourly, freak-outs about Jake being thrust right into the middle of Jason's old world.

That sound you hear, Liz? It's a clock ticking down. And I can't help thinking this whole mess won't end well for you, honey!

Take care and happy viewing,
Liz Masters

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