Takes a licking and keeps on ticking

A fiery explosion rocked Jack's world -- and the cargo ship! Will the good-guy original live another day to defeat his evil carbon copy at his own game? Abracadabra! Avery pulled a vanishing trick -- and then reappeared. Will our hero Dylan regret not becoming a part of her act? Before another second ticks by, read more in Two Scoops.

Boy, Jack is one resilient guy. He's been drugged, tied up and gagged, starved, chained up, beaten, conked on the head, and almost blown up. But, somehow, the brave and durable Mr. Abbott will always find a way to keep on fighting back. Jack reminds me of the old Timex watch commercials. You know, the ones where John Cameron Swayze put a watch on a boat propeller or had it run through a dishwasher only to have the timepiece survive and keep on ticking after each brutal torture test. "It takes a licking and keeps on ticking" really did describe those reliable watches, and the tests proved they were indeed waterproof.

Jack may need to show he is as waterproof as the watches, since he has been going through his own set of torture tests. When he was stuck on the cargo ship, his only chance for survival was to swim for it once he could finally break free from those pesky chains. But it beats being run through a dishwasher, I suppose. Jack's fans know our hero will do what he can to get back to his wife. With the ticks of his heartbeat to guide him, Jack's determination and perseverance will act as a compass to help him to find his way back to Genoa City and to his true love, Phyllis.

Jack already has the intent and the heart and I trusted he would be able to best his captors at their own game.

But Marco looked to be the key to Jack's freedom and he sure had no interest in helping the poor chump out. In fact, when Jack's kidnappers emailed the villain for a payoff in a matter of life or death, Marco even enlisted Jack's own son, Kyle, to follow through with his plot against Jack. Marco then decided he personally wanted the distinct privilege of killing Jack, so he requested Jack be returned alive. I think Marco has decided to take over Jack's life completely and to essentially become the new and not-so-improved Jack Abbott. In his mind, Marco was Jack, and Jack's elimination would wipe out any memories of Marco and the dirty deeds of his past forever.

What's totally creepy is that, besides the fact he's a diabolical, evil murderer with no conscience, Marco was already acting totally and completely like Jack in every way. It was uncanny and pretty much unheard of. Marco's facial expressions and reactions were just too much like Jack's. How could Marco possibly know how Jack would react to certain situations, especially in business matters? And he would never know what was near and dear to Jack's heart. But I have already ranted about this before, so I am moving on.

On the cargo ship, Jack was still chained to his trusty post alongside his new compadre, Marisa, who finally learned he was not her precious Marco. I laughed when Jack told her Marco's face was his but "that's where the similarities end, believe me." Funny thing, Phyllis never noticed that, and you would think she would be able to spot some differences. Once Marisa discerned no henchmen were nearby for a quick rescue, she quickly changed allegiances. Hey, every girl for herself.

Jack realized he needed to find a solution quickly, or he would no longer be "ticking," and his time would run out. Man, where's the handy-dandy cavalry when you need them? They should have been charging through to save the day, accompanied by the lilting tune of Nelson Eddy's Sergeant Bruce and Jeannette MacDonald's Rose Marie singing "Indian Love Call." Oh, wait, I guess that would be the Canadian Mounties. Those horses would need to make a pretty long trip for the rescue, plus that would be quite a swim out to the ship. Not even Triple Crown winner American Pharoah would attempt that.

Fortunately, the resourceful Jack was able to free himself with the help of a pick from the box he sat on. And with steel wool, packing material, and a battery, he cleverly concocted a surefire fire-starter. Now, there's the cunning, brilliant Jack we all know and love! As it turned out, Marissa wasn't so traitorous, after all, and returned to help him escape. Could the pretty vixen be falling for the look-alike of the person she claimed to love? Stranger things have happened, and many beauties have been smitten with our courageous Mr. Abbott. Who could blame her for falling for his charms?

Unfortunately, the fire caused the entire ship to explode. Kaboom! I am confident Jack will survive to get back to rescue his loved ones, even if he doesn't know yet Marco had taken over his life. How will Jack react once he learns Phyllis never figured out Marco wasn't Jack? Shouldn't he be outraged Phyllis was unable go tell Marco was not the real deal? In one of those sappy romance novels, the heroine would know immediately the villain was not her true love with just one kiss. Phyllis should have paid more attention to her dream. She knew Jack better than anyone, but she couldn't see Marco was an imposter? Marco would have had to study Jack for years to be that good of an actor -- not come straight from a Peruvian prison.

Will Jack be able to convince Phyllis he is her beloved "Yack" and that Marco is the imposter? We can only hope. Jack will also need to beat Marco at his own game, and Marco is one powder keg that could go off at any minute -- pretty much like the exploding ship. Plus, he'll need to think up more wily schemes to remove the con man from his life. You wouldn't think that would be too difficult, since Victoria and Victor were already suspicious of Marco's motives at Jabot. I loved it when Marco stated it was time to overthrow the king. Oh, yes, King Victor sitting high on his throne. I can almost hear Victor now, "Off with his head!"

And that's almost what Victor said when Marco declared Jack Abbott was dead. Victor's face was almost red with fury. Marco had to do Victor's bidding. Every time I hear that phrase, I can almost picture a villain twirling his handlebar mustache while he cackles in devilish delight at the fair and pure maiden. Only Victor wasn't very merry, and Marco wasn't innocently pure. Victor demanded that Jack Abbott not be dead. Victor's power really has gone to his head. Did he really think he could change fate if Jack had been blown up with the ship? Jack must rise from the ashes. Spooky!

Phyllis was right when she said even with the Newman/Abbott feud, Victor and Jack would hate to lose each other. She claimed hatred was a binding force, and honestly, Victor's need to best Jack at every turn gives him a reason to wake up in the morning. Victor's rivalry with Jack gives them both purpose. In my eyes, Victor would have even more purpose if Jack actually won once in a while because then Victor would have a bigger challenge. But who knows? Maybe Jack will finally defeat Victor when he returns -- as we all know he will.

In the meantime, the Abbotts -- and Marco -- were gearing up for the takeover, and they put Adam and Chelsea on Team Abbott. Marco actually had a brilliant idea of using a dummy account for a ten million dollar transfer to make it appear Victor was embezzling funds. Ha, what will Victor do when he is faced with two Jacks? It will be double his pleasure, double his fun. (I'm in a vintage advertising slogans kind of mood.)

Anyway, Marco suggested Billy distract Victoria with his Abbott charm while Victor indicated Victoria should try to get from Billy the information of what the Abbotts where up to. Victoria used Johnny as an excuse to try to squeeze the truth from Billy, but maybe she should have tried to smooch it out of him. She might have had more success with her kisses. All Victoria managed to get out of Billy was that they were "in sync." Bye, bye, bye.

Back to Marco, was he the diabolical murderer of Austin and Courtney? And if he was, why? Did he do it all for sport? I remember watching one of those TV movies back in the seventies about a man being hunted by another man for sport because the hunter felt his human prey would be the most intelligent, challenging animal he had ever faced. Was this the same thought roaming around in Marco's cranium? What prized trophies to hang on your wall! Somehow, I'm not sure the human noggins would fit in with all of those deer and tiger heads.

However, Marco denied killing Austin and Courtney, but Paul and Harding were still in hot pursuit. And Kevin, also, even though Paul constantly pleaded with Kevin and Mariah to stay away from the case -- even as Harding slapped the handcuffs on Mariah's wrists for interfering with a murder investigation. What was Mariah thinking? Sure, her intention was to draw the killer out, but she would have had more problems than being arrested if the cold-blooded murderer had caught on to the fact she was the one who left the message on GCBuzz. I am sure the dastardly dog would have been insulted and outraged at Mariah taking credit for his (or her) achievements. Such nerve!

The best thing to come out of Paul and Harding's interaction with Kevin and Mariah was Detective Harding's line to Kevin, "Yeah, we're not as stupid as you look." Now, that was funny. Kevin and the police detective certainly have their own special love/hate relationship going on, and it can be fun to watch. I have read online commentary that Greg Rikaart would love for his character, Kevin, to come out of the closet and to become involved in a loving, gay relationship, and Harding would certainly be a good choice for Kevin's significant other.

While I think it would be an entertaining and modern story, I would be a little split about such a development only because I really love the camaraderie between Kevin and Mariah. And Mariah has already admitted she loves Kevin, so where would that leave her? But I guess that could be categorized as one of the hardships of life, and perhaps her destiny was never really with Kevin, after all. Who knows if Y&R would be willing to go in that direction with such a rich, complex character as Kevin -- although it would certainly make him that much more complicated.

At least this kind of dramatic turn for Kevin would make more sense than his brother does these days. Sometimes when I am watching Michael, I think to myself, "Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore. Or in Genoa City, Wisconsin, either." Michael just hasn't been making any sense. Okay, I get that he wants his wife to move on with someone else, but the sad thing is that it wasn't because he thought his cancer would shorten his future with her. He decided a vibrant woman like Lauren deserved a man who could offer her wild, passionate sex, and Michael didn't want to sentence her to a lifelong platonic relationship with him. Really, Lauren should be insulted Michael thought so little of her. True love is built on something more than just sex, and Lauren and Michael had always seemed to have that special something as a couple.

Okay, even if we are on board with Michael's reasoning, why on earth would he encourage a relationship between a wife he has always loved so dearly and a married man? Wow, what did Lily ever do to Michael? Did he not even consider her feelings at all or the fact that Cane's a father of two young kids? It's just so uncharacteristic of Michael. Plus, he's almost torturing Lauren with his coldness. If Michael loved Lauren as much as we have always believed, he could never watch her suffer in loneliness. It's just cruel.

I'll admit I had wanted Michael to go a little over to the dark side after he learned about his cancer, but this isn't exactly was I was hoping for. I was looking more for a little rebellion to where he might do a couple of things more typical of Kevin. Maybe Michael and Kevin could have had some sort of madcap adventure just for the thrill of it all. Lauren and Fen could have worried about Michael's whereabouts and the consequences of his actions. Must everything always be about romance and sex? Oh, yeah, this is a soap. Never mind.

At least the writers opted to keep Avery true to form, although she really went a little bonkers as she chugged wine and yelled at Joe to make love to her just so Joe could pretend to recapture what they had never really had. It was a little strange, but I bet Jessica Collins enjoyed getting to play such extreme emotion before she left. If Avery had gotten more chances to go just a bit wacko, maybe she could have stuck around a little while longer. But that's the nature of soaps. Characters -- and actors -- come and go, and it was Avery's time to go. I thought it was funny, though, that the show claimed it was storyline-dictated, but then the writers had to change her original exit. It sounds more like it was character-dictated to me.

After the crazed tantrums and once she had thrown Joe out, Avery suddenly disappeared. Poof! Almost by magic. The only evidence Paul had was a broken green bowl surrounded by blood. Maybe she cut her hand while cooking? Could be. Then she rushed to the hospital? That could realistically happen, and Avery's car was gone. Only the police found Avery's car, and there was no sign of her. Did Joe harm the lovely attorney? Well, we all know how much Dylan loves to rescue those in need, and I am sure Avery became so much more desirable in his eyes at that moment. Sharon who? But even Dylan won't be able to save Avery, since Jessica Collins has left the show.

Seriously, Dylan looked like he had eyes for no one but Avery once she returned of her own accord, bearing some bruises on her arms. She had no real explanation for her disappearance except that she needed time to herself, but the look in Dylan's eyes and the warmth of his arms made it appear he wanted to be part of her vanishing act. Avery explained she had cut her finger while cleaning the bowl, and her digit had bled on the floor. She sure lost a lot of blood. It's weird someone as conscientious as Chef Avery would have allowed her finger to bleed that much before cleaning and bandaging it. Over her clean kitchen floor? Joe really must have rattled her.

However, Avery had news for Dylan. She figured the only way she could be safe from Joe would be to leave town. What a unique concept -- a female character on a soap taking control of her own life and safety. Oh, Avery and Dylan were never meant to be. Dylan likes rescuing women in peril, while Avery tends to take responsibility for her actions and decisions. She's way too independent and strong for him.

But Dylan talked Avery into staying, so now I am curious how the writers will orchestrate her exit. If she had left town, there was always a possibility of her return, so now I can't help but think something will happen to her. Will Joe murder her, after all? If Avery does suffer a sudden demise, Dylan will blame himself forever for not rescuing her, since he stuck to his choice of Sharon as his woman. But just who was that strange, calm, secure, rational blonde lady sitting on Sharon's sofa next to a bottle of wine and two glasses? Maybe the right love really can conquer all, even the demons in your head. Love and the proper medication, that is.

Another damsel in distress was Ashley, who needed surgery for her congenital aneurysm. Wow, I wonder who else in the family has suffered with that. You think some Abbott would have mentioned something about an uncle or aunt so-and-so having had it in the past. But, of course, Ashley survived her surgery, and all was right in the world.

I wonder what the point of this story was. It went by rather quickly and I thought more would come from it like, for instance, Ben and Ashley grew closer due to her emergency situation that caused a triangle with her daughter, who threw a tantrum, which she's so good at, and which resulted in mother and daughter duking it out for the love of their man, who idly sat by to become the prize of the winner, who then threw up her hands in disgust at what the turmoil did to her family, and then both mom and child walked away arm in arm, knowing their relationship was stronger than ever. Well, maybe there's more to this story yet.

Marco remarked to Kyle that by wiring the money, he would be doing "this for your father," and Kyle would "never know how much what you did today means to your old man." Oh, the irony of it all!

Avery went missing, and all Summer talked about was how it was all her fault and that she was to blame. Everything does always seem to be about Summer, doesn't it?

I couldn't help but notice again how Summer and Kyle are quick to point fingers at others, and then they had Phyllis jumping on their bandwagon. With all the accusations flying at Joe, you just knew he did not kill Avery.

Victoria used some creative wording when she described how she and Ben had started off in a gallop then fizzled out, and she later told Billy he could "babble until the cows come home" after Ashley's surgery.

So, Victor wanted to keep control over Sage's every move with a completely staffed house on his ranch? She was wise to say no, however, she got a better offer from Nick to move into his place -- with much better benefits!

Billy was funny when he faced "Gabriel" at Chelsea's and demanded "Fabio" button up his shirt.

Nice double play on words when Marco told Adam that Victor had no idea who he was dealing with. Adam thought he meant himself as Gabriel when Marco actually was referring to himself.

Cheers to The Bold and Beautiful writers again! (This is getting scary. The second time in a matter of months I am applauding them?!) By incorporating the reality of Linsey Godfrey's horrific accident into Caroline's return to the soap, the writers have proven truth can be stranger than fiction. When tears fell down her cheeks as she described her feelings when the car bounced off a parked car then landed on her feet, you knew her fears and pain were real and something Ms. Godfrey had experienced at the time of the actual accident. Could this finally land her the Daytime Emmy award she has so richly deserved?

Teddi

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