Like a prayer

For the Week of August 22, 2016
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GH Two Scoops: Like a prayer
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Port Charles, like life, is a mystery. Not everyone stands alone -- some are sexy priests that forget their vows and sleep with the hot wife of a hottie cop. Strangely, that still sounds like a Madonna video. Nathan used restraint, so Griffin will have to die another day. Franco is waiting for Liz to justify his love, and Laura revealed she was crazy for Kevin. Was last week a holiday, or did the show barely keep it together? Our Two Scoops columnist will tell you what she cherished and then you can express yourself in the Comments section.

When Claudette calls Griffin's name, it's like a little prayer. She's down on her knees; she wants to take him there. Okay, readers, Madonna lyrics aside, clearly Griffin is torn between God and Claudette. I remember that same dilemma playing out in a little film called Change of Habit, an Elvis film where Mary Tyler Moore has to choose between God and Elvis. Seriously, how could a girl make such a choice? Side note, the film also starred GH's own Jane Elliot as Sister Barbara. Tracy Q as a nun. Seriously, download and watch it.

Forgive my ADHD. If you have read my column for any length of time, you may have noticed, I get sidetracked a lot. Back to Port Charles! Nathan now knows that Griffin is the man who slept with his wife and the man he shot. He is not taking it very well. In fact, he seemed downright furious about it. That old rage sprung up in his chest, and he slammed Griffin to the wall. I think if there had been a meat hook there, he would have gone all "Sonny on A.J." on him. Nathan was incensed, as though it happened yesterday. (As though he's still in love with Claudette and just got cheated on...) If I were Maxie, that would give me pause.

I've been wildly in love before and had tragic heartbreak, but when I encounter those people now, it doesn't make me rage, or cry, or barely even feel anything. It's a distant memory, as if I am watching a movie that happened to someone else. If Nathan is not removed from his rage yet, I have to think he's not entirely over Claudette. At first, I thought Claudette came to Port Charles to get Nathan back, but now it appears that Griffin is the man she actually has her sights set on. Will Father Monroe give up the priesthood for her? Will Maxie and Nathan be able to trust one another again after this incident? "What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." -- Walter Scott

Another web in town seems pretty tangled up, too, and it's a web with a black market kidney trapped right in the center of it. So many unanswered questions here! Who is Nelle, and how is she connected to Jax? A few theories floating around the soapiverse are that maybe Jerry Jacks is her dad, and Jax knew she'd be a match for Josslyn. Others think Jax has a love child that Carly didn't know about. Another faction thinks she could be Nina's baby that we thought was lost but maybe Madeline adopted out instead. Or maybe Heather knows something about the kidney, since she had a big wad of cash stashed away from some ill-gotten gain. What's your theory? I'd love to hear!

I just hope she's not related to Michael, because when Sabrina invariably dumps him for Carlos' twin brother, Dr. Joe, he's going to need a shoulder to cry on. And speaking of that, can we please get Sabrina reinstated at the hospital so she has a job again? Monica is back in charge. I am sure she'd absolve Sabrina of her transgressions with Ava. Franco is (or was, and probably will be again) working there, and he did worse things than Sabrina did!

Readers, are you ever tempted to play GH drinking games? Every now and then, when they keep saying a name or phrase over and over, I play my own little games. Like "The Balkan" -- man, when he was on, they said his name like twelve times an episode. Had I taken a drink at each mention, I would have passed out before the show ended.

This week's word was "malaria." My husband, who pretends not to watch GH, after about 14 mentions in one episode of whether or not Sam had malaria, and if her baby had malaria and if Jason might have contracted malaria, started banging his head on the back of the couch and said, "Make it stop! I hope they all have malaria so I won't have to hear them say malaria anymore." Ha.

It is great news that Sam is pregnant, but the joy of that moment was dampened by the malaria talk. I mean, seriously, in all the years people have been to Cassadine Island, when no one has ever gotten malaria, you'd think the next island down that they crashed on wouldn't be a malaria hotspot either. I would have preferred to see Jason and Sam's joy shine through after so much tragedy instead of adding more potential tragedy into the mix. Hey, writers! It's okay for couples to have one happy day with no crisis. Seriously. Try it.

I enjoyed seeing Sam and Liz bonding a little. I liked that Liz urged Sam to tell the truth to Jason, although when Nikolas and Laura gave Liz that advice last year, she didn't take it. Apparently, Liz wanted Sam to have the benefit of her experience, I suppose. Li'l Jake, who tried to get rid of Sam in any way possible, is suddenly very supportive of their marriage -- and might be doing a little matchmaking with his mom and his buddy Franco. I wonder how he will feel when Sam has the baby?

If I had a word of advice for Sam, it would be this: stop wearing those stilettos while you're pregnant because all pregnant women in Port Charles tumble down the stairs at some point in their pregnancy, and you don't want your baby to be impaled by your pointy heel.

Sam was able to drop by to share the news with Alexis because Alexis forgot to attend Nikolas' second funeral after her night of drinking with Diane. Alexis was suspended for a year from practicing law, but I am sure Sonny would hire her to be a barista at Sonnybucks to earn some spare change in the interim. Or maybe Sam and Spinelli will help her get a P.I. license. Or maybe she can get her bartender's license and sling drinks at the Floating Rib. Or maybe she can be an admin at the hospital like Claudette. Or perhaps Nina will want to do an extended series for Crimson on "Women who fall for mobsters, repeatedly." Or maybe her ex Ric will hire her to advise him on cases. Or maybe she can run for mayor and take out Lomax.

It's been a joy to have the magnificent Carolyn Hennessy on the canvas again. The chemistry between Diane and Alexis is better than any of the current "supercouples," in my humble opinion. They really bring out the best (and worst) in one another. Like the binge drinking, and the next day follow-up for a "hair of the dog" night. Those two characters sparkle with anyone they are in scenes with, but they are never shinier than when they are in scenes together. I just love their friendship. It's easy to find a friend, but nearly impossible to find a friend you can actually trust. It's going to be interesting to see how this unfolds and if this begins a new chapter in Alexis' life, or if she will fight her way back into the legal arena.

Now back to Nikolas' funeral. Apparently, less than ten people attended, and none of them seemed especially broken up over it. Did it seem odd to you that immediately after attending her brother's funeral, Lulu was giggling and talking to Maxie about wedding plans? Even if it were his second funeral, shouldn't she at least be slightly mopey?

Post funeral, Hayden got a call from her gold-digging mom, who was asking her about the pre-nup. Laura overheard Hayden's end of the conversation and turned into Mama Grizzly, and Hayden earned a good slap. I think Hayden does have sincere feelings for Nikolas, but no one will believe her. Luckily for her, she has Dr. Finn to cheer her up and walk beside her through this season of grief.

What we know that the rest of Port Charles doesn't is that Nikolas is still not dead, and perhaps he will reemerge in September, although the exact date is still pending. I'm so ready for Tyler Christopher to come home to us. GH is not the same without the one and only real Nikolas Cassadine!

His mother is grieving the loss of her son again, and the scenes this week reminded me of just what a phenomenal actress Genie Francis actually is. When she cries, it breaks my heart as much today as it did when I first started watching her when I was 17. She and I are about the same age, so that was a while ago.

I am enjoying the budding romance of Laura and Kevin. Kevin got a blessing to move on from Lucy, and Laura gave Tracy her blessing to go chase after Luke. I am sure they did that to appease the fans who were fighting the relationship of Kevin and Laura because of the loose ends in their past.

I loved the explanation Laura gave to Tracy about being immature and always needing to be rescued and that she has matured now -- that was very genuine dialogue. It's the way ladies my age talk to their friends when reflecting on their old romances and finally understanding the questionable choices a woman sometimes makes with her love life when she is young and foolish.

Like Kiki, for instance. She is stubbornly sticking with Morgan in spite of all the pain he has inflicted on her since she has known him. She clearly has feelings for Dillon but is trying to recue Morgan from himself. Kiki, baby, you didn't break him, and you can't fix him! I hate to agree with Ava, but clearly Dillon is the better option for Kiki to date. Morgan has cheated on Kiki repeatedly, gone on and off his bipolar meds, gotten involved in mob dealings, and, in a roundabout way, gotten her shot.

Dillon, on the other hand, is sweet and thoughtful and not involved in the mob and has not slept with her mom. I wish I could jump into a scene like Mary Poppins and just have a heart-to-heart with her. Heck, I wish current me could pop back in time and tell 21-year-old me what I know now!

Another young lady who needs advice: Valerie Spencer. Valerie lost her mom this year, and Aunt Bobbie isn't doing a very good job advising her niece about life. I would start with "Hey, you just got out of police academy four minutes ago. Maybe you should take some backup when you are investigating a serial killer." But that's just me. Since no one warned her, she got conked in the head in the lab while snooping around for clues.

So, to whom does the cufflink belong? It looks like it should belong to a Cassadine, but surely Valentin isn't the hospital killer. Maybe Carlos' brother Joe is really just Carlos pretending to be a doctor and hiring himself out to Dr. Kevorkian.

In all the Davis girl drama this week, I can't let Sam's wedding and pregnancy and Alexis being suspended from practicing law overshadow the awesome catfight that Molly and Drunk-Kristina had on the docks by Sonnybucks. What a week for great acting and powerful scenes! Both Haley Pullos and Lexi Ainsworth gave it their all in those fight scenes. GH struck gold when they cast those two as little girls -- they have both grown into remarkable young ladies with stellar acting abilities.

Just as Kristina was drunk-dialing Parker, Molly came and tossed her phone into the bushes. We saw that down there in the bushes, Parker actually returned Kristina's call. Was it just to say goodbye in a kinder way, or is she ready to give their relationship a try? Since Kristina's phone is still in the bushes, we may never know.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Franco make a painting of Heather eating a BLT for his next hospital visit gift to Mommy? Will Tracy go on a search for Luke and actually find him in Amsterdam and drag him home to Port Charles where he belongs? Will Finn's latest potion turn him into Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde? Will Nina find a baby to buy, or will she have an unprotected fling and find out she can get pregnant on her own? Will Valerie arrest Nathan for assaulting Dr. Finn, since Dante apparently is too busy house hunting to come to work?

Will Sam switch to flats for nine months for the sake of her baby? Will anyone say "malaria" next week? Will Diane tell me the name of her hairdresser so I can get that sassy haircut? Will Nelle really go back from whence she came, or will Josslyn have a health scare that will lure her back to Port Charles? Will experienced admins be pissed that Claudette got hired to work at the hospital with seemingly no experience in the field? Will Lulu get pregnant in time for her and Sam to be pregnancy buddies?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.
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