The Crete Fleet

For the Week of October 25, 2021
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Half of Port Charles is in Crete. Valentin was shot, Dr O is in the trunk. Back in Port Charles, Spencer is sprung from jail. We have a lot to discuss in this week's Two Scoops.

Dear readers, it's getting crowded on the isle of Crete lately. I have lost track of how many Port Charles residents (or former residents) are on the island now, but let me try to count...

First up are the villains -- Peter the Terrible and Victor the Dapper. Then the super spies, plus some former super spies: Robert, Anna, Valentin, and Dante. Then Sam, the former P.I., and her two exes Jason, the hitman, and Drew, the Navy SEAL. Drew, of course, is under mind control, and I keep asking myself, "Don't Navy SEALs get trained to resist such things?"

I don't know, but it seems like they should. I know a Navy SEAL, and I would ask him, but he wouldn't tell me. The only info I ever got from him was that he was training seals to do ice dives, like drilling holes in frozen water and swimming in extreme cold. And here I am blabbing that, so he was right not to tell me anything. I mean, if you talk to a writer, you should expect such things. But I digress -- back to Crete.

Also on the island is Liesl Obrecht, locked in a car trunk, as far as I know, and her lovely daughter, Britta, comes to rescue her. My one hope is that when Liesl gets out of the car trunk, she can break through Drew's programming and bring him back to his senses.

My husband, who pretends he doesn't watch GH, brought up an excellent point, and he wanted to make sure I wrote about it... He asked, "Are there any working cops in Port Charles?" Let's take a tally... Jordan is in the hospital somewhere. Valerie has been AWOL for like a year. Chase is recovering from paralysis and learning to walk again. Robert is in Crete. Dante is in Crete. Curtis is running his nightclub. Lucky is still in Ireland, I think. Mac must be with Valerie because we never see him, even though he's the assistant police commissioner. Taggert is also AWOL. I know that two no-name cops showed up to arrest Nina, but all the cops we know are gone. Maybe it's part of the Great Resignation. Perhaps they all got fed up and quit.

But there is a creepy guy named Marshall stalking Curtis, and when he strikes, no cops will be around. Who is he? What's your guess? Is he Curtis' long-lost dad? Is he a guy Curtis busted when he was a P.I.? Does he want to know and love Curtis, or does he want to hurt Curtis? Is Auntie Stella going to see him and tear him to shreds? Does he really need medical attention, or was he just toying with T.J. to get info? So many questions and no answers. My guess is that he is Curtis' dad, but I can't decide if he is there to get to know his son before he dies or if he needs money. By the way, that red dress that Portia had on was stunning. If I were Brook Kerr, I would steal it from the wardrobe and take it home forever.

This week was so action-packed, I can't decide where to land next. Okay, let's go to my fictional character soap crush, Valentin. Readers, when he was walking across that bridge and Anna called out to him, and then the bullet hit -- I screamed, "NOOOO!" at my TV. I was stunned! I didn't see it coming. I don't know why I am so smitten with Valentin, but my heart is tender to his character, even when he does terrible things. I can't explain it; I just love him. Maybe it's the way he loves Charlotte and Nina and Anna -- that we see this vulnerable, gentle side of him in between his shady dealings.

When Anna knelt down next to him, and Valentin asked her to tell Charlotte and "Bailey" he loved them, I was going heavy on the Kleenex. I am tired of dancing around the Anna and Valentin romance; just give it to me already. I have always adored complicated characters with problematic pasts and questionable histories. Valentin and Anna both fit that mold, and the two of them, together with all the mistakes they've made and sins they have committed, make perfect sense. Who else to understand a wounded person than another injured person? Gimme.

On the other hand, I have seen people complaining that Jason and Sam never have scenes together anymore for months. But then yesterday, they did, and it was...underwhelming. Right now, Dante and Sam are a more fun pairing than Jason and Sam. Jason and Britt are a more compelling pairing than Jason and Sam. I know Jason and Sam were a supercouple for a long time, but I am just not feeling it anymore, and I like them both better with new people. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

Then when I saw Drew get shot and fall into the water, I thought, "Oh, no, here we go again." I saw someone on Twitter predicting that Drew would end up at the tavern in Crete, calling himself Scout, and it made me howl. But, alas, Drew had a bulletproof vest on and is still under Peter's control.

Readers, I am so over Peter August. I was done with him when Finn killed him and shoved him in a freezer months ago, and I am even more done with him now that he's resurrected. Over the years, I have had villains that I loved to hate. I loved to hate Helena. She was wicked but hilarious. I loved to hate Faison. He was crazy, but in a sexy, creepy way like the Phantom of the Opera.

But Peter, I just hate. I don't find him funny. I don't find him charming. I don't ever see him on the screen and look forward to the scene, because the writers have written him so genuinely evil. I like Wes Ramsey. This is not actor bashing. I think Wes Ramsey seems to be the nicest guy -- creative, kind, loving, gentle -- all the things Peter isn't. I wish the writers would have left Franco with Liz and made Peter into Austin Holt if they had to kill someone off and switch them.

But I know the writers aren't done with Peter. I predict they will have him escape and go back to Port Charles and steal "Bailey" or kidnap Maxie or something. I don't think we are rid of him yet. The worst part is that after Nathan died and Peter first came to town, falling for Maxie, I was all in. I rooted for him. I wish they would have continued his redemption story. I like nice Peter. I like the Peter that Maxie fell for. What the hell happened to that guy? We have not seen a glimpse of that guy for months. He's just always mean now and spitting words of rage to every person he talks to.

I am stunned that he got one over on Victor Cassadine. I never thought the day would come when I was rooting for Victor Cassadine, but here we are. Charles Shaughnessy's version of Victor is very likable. If he ends up saving Liesl, I wouldn't mind a love triangle with Victor and Scotty fighting over Dr. O.

The most exciting part of this storyline is that making Valentin an actual Cassadine means he could potentially get Wyndemere back from Nikolas. I think it would be hilarious if Nikolas and Ava got evicted from Wyndemere, and Valentin and Charlotte got to move in again.

I keep wondering if Valentin had to choose between Anna and Nina, who would he choose? I think that as Nina is ostracized from most of Port Charles, she may show up on Valentin's doorstep again, asking for a second chance, and I hope when she shows up that Valentin and Anna are naked in front of the fire, sipping Champagne. I used to want them back together because Valentin wanted her, and I wanted him to get what he wanted. But now, Valentin wants Anna, so I want Anna for him. I can't breathe until he's okay again.

Readers, if you are not watching Maurice Benard's "State of Mind" on YouTube, you are missing out. He has done some incredible interviews with GH cast members past and present, and every episode is compelling. This past week, his show with Cassandra James was incredibly enlightening, and she shared her journey with him -- if you haven't watched, I would highly recommend it. I am glad that her character, Dr. Terry, is getting more airtime. I love the friendship that is blossoming between Britt and Terry as they navigate their co-chief of staff role and get to know one another.

Also, this week, Terry is in the middle between Liz and her dad, Jeff Webber. I was a little thrown by that one because Liz's parents dumped her at Gram's house when she was 16 and haven't checked in since, as far as I can tell. Does this mention mean that Jeff Webber is heading back to Port Charles? If so, will he be played by the former MacGyver, Richard Dean Anderson? Or maybe a recast? I am curious to find out where this is going and to hear his explanation of why he hasn't checked in on Liz for 30 years.

Okay, readers, any OLTL fans out there? Did your ears perk up a little bit when you heard Llantano County, PA? I know mine did. Is there a possibility that GH will usher in some old OLTL people into the storyline now that they can legally use those characters again?

Michael is becoming a true Quartermaine. Or a true Corinthos. Or a true Spencer. Or all three combined. He is not going to let Nina skate with no consequences. Although I am trying to understand the charges filed against her -- identity theft? I mean, of course, it's morally reprehensible, but is it illegal to not tell an amnesiac who they are if you happen to know? I don't know. Maybe Nina will wind up in rich people's prison with Alexis, and she can work on her case.

Much to Nick and Ava's dismay, their attempt at tough love and bullying Spencer into submission failed. He pleaded not guilty and got bailed out by Grandmother Laura and Kevin. When Kevin told Spencer there was a condition, I thought it would be that he had to drop his demon seed girlfriend, Esme, but instead, he must get a job. That should be fun, watching Spencer forced to interact with townies. For a moment, I felt like Esme was sincere. I think in her own messed-up way, she genuinely loves and needs Spencer. At first, I thought she was cold and calculating, using him for her own designs, but yesterday I saw a hint that maybe there are more layers to Esme than we have seen. Side note, I think the GH casting director deserves an Emmy for casting so many fantastic young actors in the past few years.

Ava and Nik are reunited, and it feels so good, and Sonny and Ava are getting along and working together to parent Avery. I think Ava is correct and that Nixon Falls changed Sonny. He's not nearly as combative as he used to be and seems a bit gentler. I am not convinced it will last, but I think Sonny desires to be a better version of himself. I love the idea of Sonny buying Charlie's Pub for Phyllis because A) It means we get to see Charlie's, and I have missed it. B) It means we get to keep Phyllis. C) It means we may get to see Kristina Davis more than once every six months. Count me in.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Olivia keep denying Leo has a problem and alienate everyone in her life who is trying to help her? Will Jax and Sonny go into the spaghetti sauce business together? Will Scotty buy a virus protection program now that he's been hacked? Will Liz and Finn kick butt at GH trivia night? Will Carly dress as a cowgirl for Halloween and make "Cowboy Mike" teach her to line dance? Will Mayor Laura ever come back to town and realize her entire police force is missing? Will Willow run to Chase for comfort when Michael doesn't stop misbehaving? Will Brook Lynn continue to gloat when Austin finds another way to get what he wants, like blackmailing her over "Bailey's" true parentage?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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