Panic and Paperweights in Alexis' Ball Gag Basement: General Hospital Two Scoops for the Week of August 25-29, 2025

General Hospital outdid itself this week with the story everyone never knew they needed. When nine-months-pregnant Kristina plunged out that window into the pool last August while shouting at Ava, who knew what one year later would bring? Now, Kristina and Ava are besties with Alexis as their accomplice, keeping Ric chained to a gurney in the basement with a ball gag stuffed into his mouth. We are giddy with excitement for the next 30 days to come. Would any of this have happened had Drew not unleashed Natasha just minutes before Ava went to town on Ric's head? We doubt it, so let's dig on in.

Angry Ava has a paperweight problem

A coven of women is ready to do as they please with Ric | Image: ABC

That might be Ric's first problem. He got involved with a woman who has no issue grabbing the nearest blunt object when you threaten her children or her money. (Understandable.) Nikolas made the mistake of bringing Avery into his beef with his ex-wife, while Ric made the mistake of stealing Ava's millions, which she had Alexis embezzle from a baby. One got clocked over the head with a gargoyle paperweight, and the other got a knock on the noggin with what appeared to be a giant pearl — and an expensive one at that, according to Alexis.

Ava just can't help herself. She has impulse control problems, just like Kristina. No wonder they hate each other so much. Aside from the fact that Kristina tripped over a duffel bag in Ava's hotel room and went flying into the pool, but insisted that Ava stand trial because she claimed that Ava pushed her.

Natasha's day got better and better

Natasha came home to Ric on her floor | Image: ABC

Honestly, was there anything more delightful than watching Ric splayed out on Alexis' living room floor while three women who detest him with the fire of a thousand suns decide what to do with you, and also don't really care if you're dead or not. Alexis' biggest concern was Molly coming home and discovering her father in this condition.

So, Kristina took charge and made sure Ric was alive. They were kinda relieved, but they knew they couldn't call the police. All of them have broken the law tenfold since Kristina went out that window last year. Kristina cut the brakes on Ric's car, thinking it was Ava's car. Ric and Elizabeth almost died. Ava figured out what Kristina did, and Ava and Ric decided to blackmail Alexis with the knowledge that her dingbat daughter managed to screw up again. So, Alexis just had to embezzle that money from Ace's trust fund. Yep, Alexis stole from a two-year-old to satisfy Ric and Ava. If one goes down, they all go down, so they may as well form a coven, right?

The thing is, Alexis is just fed up now. Or should we call her Natasha? Before Alexis got home, the Natasha claws came out as she sat with that personification of evil who calls himself Drew Cain, but we still can't be sure that's who he is (more on that soon). And when she did get home? Yeah, she was exasperated. Okay, so Ric is lying on her floor, possibly dead. It's just another day that ends in Y, right?

Well, not for us at home watching. We never had Ric in the basement, chained to a gurney with a ball gag in his mouth on our BINGO cards when the week began. (Of course, Ava had a ball gag in her glove box.) Neither did Alexis, but sure, why not? We couldn't even imagine what they were going to do with him, so when Kristina moved Ric's car into the bat-infested garden shed (must be a big shed) and the scene switched to Alexis' basement, where Ric was still unconscious next to the laundry basin, we squealed with delight. Could we really be getting the BEST. STORY. EVER.? Oh yes, we are. YAY!!!

Panic time, Ric!

Karma has come for Ric Lansing | Image: ABC

The next day, it just got better. Ric realized that he was chained to a gurney somewhere, but when it hit him that it was Alexis' basement and his ex-wife was all for this idea, he panicked. There was nobody to rescue him. Nobody knew he was there, and nobody possibly cares. Maybe Molly and Elizabeth will wonder what happened to him. But that's just a maybe.

Alexis reminded Ric that he did this to Carly once, long, long ago. And ya know what they say about karma, right? Ric is getting the panic room treatment two decades later, and it might be exactly what he deserves. The ladies really need to invite Carly over for this one, but she has her own Drew problems separate from Alexis'.

Not only does this remind us of Ric's infamous panic room plot, but we also see a little bit of Peter tied to a bed in the woods from 2018 in this story. Remember how Liesl and Nina tortured Peter for a whole two months while he grew a beard like Grizzly Adams? That's the vibe we're getting here, and we can't wait to see this play out.

Death threats for Drew! Squee!

Carly wants to kill Drew now, too | Image: ABC

Perhaps Drew should also start panicking, cause A LOT of people want him dead. The 'Who Shot Drew?' suspect list has been growing all year, but this week, the anvils were dropping everywhere as multiple people just threatened his life out loud. From Nina to Curtis and Carly, Drew's days are numbered. Or at least his days without a bullet wound, because we can't see this show killing Drew — unless this is not Drew.

The metamorphosis of this character from a fine upstanding citizen to a "monster masquerading as a human," as Portia said, has been striking. At first, we thought that maybe this was who Drew really was before Jason's memories were implanted in his brain. After all, when Franco had Drew's memories, he was pretty much an obnoxious creeper, but Drew is way past creeper mode now. He is just pure evil. And Port Charles knows it.

Every week, Drew reaches a new low, as if there is no bottom. This week, he had an old lady arrested for changing some dates on a few insurance forms, but that wasn't all. He also served two teenagers with restraining orders, forbidding them from seeing their little sister. Who does that? Oh, that's right, a monster masquerading as a human. Apparently, some people like that, though.

Willow...yeah, we got nothing...but a lot

Willow thinks Drew is all-powerful...because she's Willow | Image: ABC

And that some people is one person, Willow Tait, the perpetual cult member who knows just how bad her cult leader can be and is now begging for more. Willow is now fully aware that Drew is an awful person, but it doesn't matter. Like real-life cult members who worship smarmy politicians, Willow seems to be a little turned on by just how horrible Drew is. It's like a kink to her now. "Drew manipulated me, slept with my mother, and emotionally abused my child? Well, that just makes him so powerful."

Like Elizabeth, we just sat there with our jaws on the floor. Did she really say that Drew was able to "reach across the ocean" to make things happen while stars danced in her eyes? We expected the next words out of her mouth to be, "How dreamy!" We'd say, "How is this even real-life?" but thank God it isn't. At least not the exact scenario. However, people knowing their cult leader politician is awful and begging for more actually is real life, so Willow is not alone.

Hot mess Portia comes riding through

Portia just made her life worse...or better | Image: ABC

Don't come after Aunt Stella, Drew. That might have been your dumbest move yet. Cause Curtis is ready to rumble. However, he might want to check on his marriage because his wife just had sex with Isaiah on her office couch. That means Jordan will be Curtis' consolation prize, right? Poor Jordan.

And poor Portia. Maybe? She seemed to enjoy her time on the couch with a handsome doctor, but tomorrow, she might start re-thinking her choices. After all, Isaiah is her employee, and Curtis did not exactly end their marriage, so she was technically cheating. Oops.

Odds and ends

Britt's peaceful resort life has been disrupted | Image: ABC

We are not even sure what is happening in Croatia and how it became the B-story this week. Joss and Vaughn have been locked in a room since Monday. Jason gave up on Britt within minutes. Britt got drunk. Britt found Joss and Vaughn and then ran away. That's how GH handled our big intrigue story this week. Yawn.

Poor Maxie will be gone for a few months | Image: ABC

We're gonna miss Maxie. And so are her parents. And her kids. And her BFFs. And Spinelli. But we know that she will be back. At least we got the most adorable scenes with James as Maxie's family sent her to a coma facility. Yep, Maxie is getting the Lulu treatment, just as we predicted.

Gio actually spoke to his mother | Image: ABC

Thankfully, GH remembered that Dante and Brook Lynn are Gio's parents, and they hadn't shared scenes alone together since May. The moments in the church were a start, but we need more. For a story that started off with such promise, this one has fizzled big time. Hopefully, GH gets back on the ball with this.