Spillin' The Tea: General Hospital Two Scoops For the Week of October 20th

Who said tea parties at the Q place can't be fun? Sure, Violet's were a little boring, but when our favorite General Hospital ladies got together at Monica's house (we still want to call it that...for now), Brook Lynn's living room tea party was nothing like Violet's tame little tea parties in the kitchen. Elizabeth didn't think Brook Lynn's tea party was a place for gossip, but Lucy begged to differ.

Of course, that wasn't the only place tea was spilled this week in Port Charles. Truth bombs exploded, secrets leaked, and revelations were made, so let's dig in with two spoons for our two scoops of GH.

Niki Smith, is that you?

From the moment news broke that Erika Slezak, soap opera legend that she is, was coming to General Hospital, our hearts soared because we knew she would not disappoint. And we were so right. After all, this isn't just some one-off stunt casting. This is Erika Slezak, a six-time Emmy winner (who seems to be working on number seven) who once played six different alters, including the always vivacious Niki Smith.

We saw a little of Niki come out to play after Veronica 'Ronnie' Bard imbibed some laced tea. While we're still unsure if Marty laced Ronnie's tea or if Ronnie did it herself (we love not knowing and are having fun guessing), who didn't howl when she told Tracy that she was undersexed and needed to lighten up? However, when she kicked Tracy out of the house and NOBODY defended the TRUE matriarch of the family, we were ready to jump through our screens and make some noise.

Um, excuse us, Brook Lynn and Olivia? You took the side of someone you met two days ago, whose story you didn't even check out? And Olivia? You told Tracy she couldn't even stay at the Metro Court? For WHAT?!?!?! We were ready to send them on a bus back to Brooklyn. (Not that Brooklyn is bad. This writer is more Brooklyn than Lois, Olivia, and Brook Lynn combined.)

When Tracy woke up in satin pjs and a sleep mask on Lulu's couch the next morning to the sound of two bickering teens, we knew we were in for a war. Somehow, we think Ronnie is going to find out just who Marty and Drew really are and become best friends. But for now, it's like watching Tracy and Monica 2.0, and we're here for it.

Drew...yeah, just ewww

So, it looks like Drew wants Monica's house and thinks his considerable charm (in his own mind) is going to get it for him. While we can see Ronnie agreeing to sell it, we're not sure things are going to go Drew's way. We want to believe that Ronnie is a tough cookie who knows that a smarmy man yelling and threatening two teenage boys is just very, very ungood.

Will Ronnie be playing Drew when she accepts his generous real estate offer? Or will she find him out somewhere along the way? Either way, we just wish whoever shot him in the back twice had just done the job right. Sigh.

Carly's WSB lesson

Yes, we howled when Ronnie told Tracy she was undersexed, but it was nothing compared to our guffaws when Carly showed up at international prison in a black wig she must have borrowed from Denise DeMucio before taking a curling iron to it. We're surprised Valentin didn't also bust out laughing, but we guess he had to keep Carly's cover story going — that she was his new high-powered attorney.

But thanks to Valentin's WSB crash course, Carly now knows what happened to Cyrus Renault, as well as how Jack managed to get Avenger Barbie...we mean...Josslyn...to join an international spy agency.

But, oh joy! That means our boyfriend Valentin is back. Sure, he is in a prison jumpsuit and chains for the moment, but we know he will be dashing in an Italian suit again soon when he and Carly team up to bring down Jack and Valentin somehow finds his way out of Steinmauer. If he got early release from The Hague, surely getting early release out of a fake prison will be even easier.

At least you tried, Nina

Willow and Nina had their day in court, where some tea was certainly spilled. Willow's alibi was fake, as we knew, but now the judge also knows. And not because Nina was trying to save herself. Nope. She was trying to save her dimwit daughter. But dimwit daughter wouldn't listen, and neither did her icky cult leader, who needed to call Nina a bitch in open court. (Also, how does Drew keep getting away with absolutely heinous public behavior when he is a public official? We guess GH is attempting to be true to life, where crooked politicians can say and do whatever horrific things they want, and people keep begging for more.)

Nina and Willow were cooked. The cops knew their alibi was bad, so why lie some more? Well, Willow was ready. Just as she was ready to make it appear as if Michael was on opioids and ready to make it appear as if Michael shot Drew, whether he did it or not. Nina, that girl isn't even worth saving.

Now, Willow wigged out in court again, but at least she's not catatonic this time. Nope, she is still going after Michael, but at least she has learned to compose herself in Pentonville. Chase may feel bad for her, but we sure don't.

Lois' swan song (for now)

Lois came...and Lois went... But at least we know how Blaze is doing now. She's doing great. We guess that's why she couldn't make her mother's funeral. Lois is even going to manage her new tour. But that meant she had to make up with Gio and Brook Lynn first.

Frankly, thank goodness. This rift between Gio and the rest of his family has been going on for far too long. Why he blamed Brook Lynn and Dante, who didn't even know the secret, was beyond us. At 22, one would think a person could be understanding about why they were given up for adoption.

But the rift between Brook Lynn and Lois made sense. Lois did lie to her daughter over and over for 22 years. That's a long time to keep a big secret. However, we couldn't help but tear up for the all's well that ends well happy ending.

General Hospital Odds and ends

We don't know what will really happen with Michael and Jacinda, if anything, but at least he gets to smile every once in a while while in her presence. There does seem to be a there there, but it might be too soon to judge.

All we know is that the Michael and Jacinda thing is both intriguing and surprising, and we want to see more of it. It also gives Michael something else to do except complain about Willow while trying to keep his kids away from her.

Portia's pregnant and it is NONE of Jordan's business. The fact that Jordan even thought this was her business is beyond us. Curtis is not her husband, Portia is not her friend, and the baby has absolutely nothing to do with her. Yes, Portia is a cheater with another 'who's the daddy?' dilemma on her hands, but this is her baby and her body and Jordan needs to stay out of it.

Till next week, Scoopers, when we know Jordan will NOT stay out of it, but at least we might get to learn what is really going to happen to Monica's house, the one that Alan gave her.

Catch all-new episodes of General Hospital weekdays on ABC and Hulu.