Nelle Benson is back, General Hospital fans! Except she has short brunette hair and comes in the form of a winsome willow looking for pity from everyone around her, while plans and plots brew in her brain. We see you, Nellow, and think we know what you're up to. Port Charles is yours for the picking because nobody would ever suspect the sweet little school teacher could be so sinister.
For the children...

It's easy to forget that Nelle came onto the PC scene much in the same way as Willow — someone who made children her career. Nelle arrived and identified herself as a former pre-school teacher who got a job as Avery's new babysitter, ingratiating herself with the Corinthos family and seducing Michael. Two years later, Willow showed up in town as a third-grade teacher who had just given her newborn son up for adoption.
When Nelle gave birth to Wiley with Liesl's hilarious help on the side of the road (Liesl had no idea she was delivering her own nephew), she had Brad switch him with Willow's dead son before going to jail. Who can ever forget Nelle's jailhouse vision board, in which she imagined her life as Wiley's mom once she was free. By then, Wiley knew Willow as his mom, and that hasn't changed.
What has changed is Willow. Or maybe she hasn't. Maybe she has always been like her sister Nelle and just hid it better. But now, the Nelle seems to have been unleashed. Nelle had a habit of fooling people into thinking she was something she was not, but always had a scheme or two going. Whenever she'd learn a scheme had worked, she'd get a giddy look on her face, but she'd never let anyone see it. Willow hasn't mastered that yet. However, the look we saw when Willow learned she'd managed to run Sasha and Daisy out of town was as Nelle as it gets. Too bad for her that Nina and Liesl saw it.
Willow seems to be picking up more and more of Nelle's habits. Nelle would "accidentally" slip up and say something she shouldn't, and then it was, "Oops, my bad." Willow did that exact same thing this week when she blurted out that Drew had been blackmailing Portia, shocking Isaiah. She quickly asked him not to say anything, innocently telling her friend it was just a slip of the tongue and she wasn't thinking. But it was clear that she was thinking. A lot. Before she said it, she turned away from Isaiah, and there was a very subtle look on her face that told us she knew exactly what she was doing.
Chillow rising NEEDS to sink

One thing both Chase and Michael have in common is that they have both been taken in by Nelle and Willow. Before Nelle moved to Port Charles, she and Chase had an affair in Florida. In fact, Nelle seduced the police detective so she could get away with a crime. We have to wonder if Willow's renewed affection for her ex-husband is so she can cover up her own crime — stalking Daisy.
Chase may be married to Brook Lynn now, but this week, he had Willow on the brain. She may have cheated on him with Michael, but Chase is a forgiving guy, so all he wants to do is help someone he still sees as an innocent and delicate flower. Please rescue Chase from this mess. This is a woman who was actually upset when Chase didn't die after she married him on his alleged deathbed. That meant that she couldn't be with Michael. But actually, she decided she could and just slept with Michael anyway behind Chase's back.
Chase had all the feels as Willow begged Carly to forgive her for all her many sins, but Carly called it like she saw it. She'd heard it all before from Willow's sister Nelle. The tears, the weeping, the apologies. None of them were real. But Nellow might be real. Something snapped in Willow the moment she woke in the ER after losing her kids. She was someone else. We make a bet that someone else is Nellow. Welcome back, Nelle.
See Drew dig grave. See Drew die?

Drew without Willow is a little lost soul, so um, can he get lost? The only person who seems to even remotely like him is Elizabeth, but he is even treading on thin ice with her. This week, Drew got a little too big for his britches when she threatened international crime lord Jenz Sidwell (Jenz Sidwell!). In that moment, we feel the 'Who Shot Drew?' story we've been waiting for all year was FINALLY born.
Not only did Drew threaten Sidwell, proving his brain really has left his head, but he turned in Aunt Stella (Aunt Stella!) for insurance fraud. Dude, what the heck are you thinking? You just turned on a nice old lady? For what? Because her nephew did this little thing called tell the truth about your office floor sex with your fiancé's mother? Now Drew is about to make an enemy of Marty, too. So, let's list the suspects again. Willow, Michael, Curtis, Portia, Stella, Marty Sidwell, Carly, Alexis, Nina... It's honestly endless. The last time we had a character this many Port Charles pals wanted dead, we got stuck with Peter August for five years. When he died, we didn't even get a mystery. But Felicia became a hero for all when she just swooped him and wacked him over the head with a tire iron. Aztec princesses! They get the job done! Now, come take care of Drew.
A little bit of outraged Alexis goes a long way

Alexis had to keep her cool as best she could this week when Drew, the man everyone hates, who is unfortunately raising her granddaughter, announced his intentions to move to DC with said granddaughter. The look on Alexis' face when Drew dropped that bomb out of nowhere was everything we needed and an exercise in self-control.
Somehow, she even remained in control when she tried to visit a sick Monica, but got Jason instead. But Alexis is done. Ketamine, sex workers, sex with your nephew's wife and her mother. Yeah, Alexis is going to get Scout out of that mess, but how will she do it? Well, she does have a handy-dandy dagger in her midst...
Anna, Outback, and co-ed spy games

Poor Anna just wants to relax. Just once. Why is a peaceful life so hard to achieve for this crime-fighting wonder? Not only does she have two college students living with her, but now she also has a dog in a building that doesn't allow pets. On top of that, she has to save her granddaughter from screwing up a top-secret WSB mission while praying Josslyn doesn't get killed doing Jack's bidding. She even got herself kidnapped this week for her efforts, but only to Jack's office so they could have an argument about Josslyn.
We still don't understand why Jack insists Anna would be committing treason just by revealing Josslyn's cover. Treason is defined as giving aid to a foreign nation that the United States is at war with. Telling Carly that her daughter is a super spy does that meet that definition.
She's the Britch, but how is she back?

While we are glad that General Hospital wasted no time letting us know the Britt lookalike was actually Britt herself, we really, really want to know how she survived both Huntington's Disease AND a poisoned hook. That's like The Bold and the Beautiful's Liam surviving a gunshot wound and brain surgery all in 24 hours, but it turns out he didn't really have a tumor or surgery. So, did Britt really have Huntington's Disease? Is she injecting some experimental treatment into her belly? Or is she up to something else? Okay. We admit it. We're intrigued.
Odds and Ends

Why are we doing this again with Sonny? How many Brenda lookalikes has he had by now? It never ever ever works out, so why does GH keep trying? The only version of Brenda that will ever work with Sonny is...Brenda. You know, the real deal. The woman Sonny met 30+ years ago at a car dealership and has never been able to get out of his brain. His interest in Justine proves just that.

Ava and Cody and this whole seduce her for money thing just reeks of ick, and we need it to end. Ava doesn't deserve this. Cody doesn't deserve this. And Molly certainly doesn't deserve this, so thanks, Kristina. Sigh.

Emma and Gio met each other at the Rice Plaza Christmas festival. Emma and Gio live together. Emma is Gio's person and Gio is Emma's person. So, um, can they just kiss already so we can get this over with?
Till next week, Scoopers, when our favorite college co-ed super spy takes on Croatia.
Catch all-new episodes of General Hospital weekdays on ABC and Hulu.