A copacetic resolution

For the Week of March 23, 2020
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Real life might be stranger than fiction at the moment, but things are heating up in Port Charles with a potential paternity secret, a kidnapping, secret alliances, and villains running amok. Let's pop a bottle of Champagne and get to opinionating.

Folks, what a pickle we all find ourselves in these days.

Had someone told me even a month ago that the world would essentially close their borders, shutter their shops, and hunker down to stem the spread of a deadly virus as it sweeps the globe, I would have asked what the title of the new Stephen King novel was. Yet here we are, rationing toilet paper, using terms like "social distancing," and getting ready to have extended staycations with our nearest and hopefully dearest.

It reminds me of a Burgess Meredith episode of Twilight Zone about a man named Henry Bemis who wanted nothing more than time to read to his heart's content, but life -- and people -- kept getting in the way until one day, an H-bomb attack left him the sole survivor. At first, Henry was despondent until he realized that he could finally read without interruption. Overjoyed, he compiled a stack of books on the steps of the library, but as he reached for the first book, he tripped. To his horror, his glasses slipped off and were shattered, leaving poor Henry unable to see clearly, much less read.

Luckily, I have backup glasses, Hulu, and a cabinet full of DVDs to help keep me sane in the coming weeks.

I live in Ohio, so GH was interrupted throughout the week with updates from the governor. I ended up binge-watching all the episodes on Friday to catch up on what I had missed, which, frankly, was an awesome way to watch GH. Each episode seemed to have a surprise twist, like when Curtis caught up with Portia and promptly cut to the chase by asking if Trina was his daughter.

I hadn't realized that the question had even been on Curtis' radar.

It was completely unexpected, and yet, it was not, because Curtis was not the first person to wonder. Many had their suspicions, even before Portia arrived on the scene, when we learned that both Stella and Trina had joined an ancestry site and had each been notified that they had a mystery relative in town.

Of course, I didn't for a second believe Portia's assurance that Taggert -- not Curtis -- was Trina's father, even though Portia conceded the timing made it possible for Curtis to be the father. First, it's never that neat and easy on a soap opera. Ever. Second, Trina despises Curtis with every fiber of her being, which in the world of soap operas is tantamount to Trina and Curtis having matching birthmarks.

I was a bit taken aback by how easily Curtis accepted Portia's assurance that he was not the father. If the timing had worked out, then what did Portia base her certainty of Trina's paternity on? A gut feeling or an actual DNA test? I waited for Curtis to ask that very question, but he didn't, which can only mean that he's not really ready for any answers at this time.

I think that Curtis would be an awesome father -- and Trina would be lucky to have him in her life -- but I also want the writers to have a reason to resurrect Taggert. If Trina is Curtis' daughter, then there won't be one. Sadly, it doesn't look good for Taggert because I get the feeling that Curtis and Portia could easily rekindle things, especially if Jordan keeps throwing fuel on the fire by keeping secrets from her husband.

I'm not sure how I feel about Portia yet. She's beautiful, a successful doctor, and full of secrets, one of which I'm certain is Trina's paternity, but her attitude toward Ava feels off. Why doesn't Portia have a similar issue with Carly, the wife of an infamous mobster who in in the middle of a war that just got Taggert killed?

I totally get Portia's concerns about Ava. I would have had them, too, if my daughter had come to me with plans of taking an internship at an art gallery owned by a notorious ex-mob boss. However, unlike Portia, I would have nixed those plans immediately. Under absolutely no circumstances would I have given permission for my minor child to be around someone with Ava's history. Yet, not only did Portia agree to Trina working for Ava, but she kept quiet about her concerns for nearly six months.

I actually do like the friendship between Trina and Ava, and I would hate to see that change to give Portia a storyline.

If Portia turns out to be as she appears, a decent human being, then I wouldn't mind if the writers explored a romance between Curtis and Portia because I've never been a huge fan of his pairing with Jordan. However, Curtis and Jordan will first have to deal with T.J., because I have a terrible feeling that T.J. is going to need a lot of help and support once he's rescued from Cyrus' clutches.

I worry that Cyrus will do what men like him do with their captives: get T.J. hooked on drugs. It's an easy way to control a person, and the addiction will follow T.J. for the rest of his life, which in turn will haunt Jordan because she will have to live with the knowledge that her actions led Cyrus to target T.J. I hope that I'm wrong, but I doubt that I am. Cyrus has made it clear that he has no qualms about hurting innocent people.

That's why I'm a little shocked that Jordan hasn't reached out to Shawn for help. Last I heard, Shawn was still locked up in Pentonville. Not only is he T.J.'s father, but Shawn is in a perfect position to collect information on Cyrus or even make a move on him. Also, Shawn needs to get out of jail, so working with Jordan and Laura to take down Cyrus will achieve that end. I realize that he was a hit man for Sonny, who had been at the garage to kill Drew, but that is not what Shawn was convicted of. The crime he went to jail for was Nikolas' doing.

Even though Shawn did plenty of other illegal things in the name of helping Sonny, he has spent more time in jail than serial killers. Set Shawn Butler free! T.J. is going to need his dad, and Shawn is no worse than Sonny, Jason, Max, or Milo.

Folks, I despise Nelle. Everything about her annoys me, from the way she relentlessly plots to how she's willing to do anything and use everyone -- including her own child -- to get what she wants. What that is isn't precisely clear, but that's because Nelle is psychotic, pathological, and diabolical. She is the perfect soap villainess, and she makes life interesting for everyone. Nelle is the kind of character that I love to hate.

Currently, Nelle is trying to secure custody of Wiley. I don't think she really has any desire to raise him, but the threat is enough to engage Michael in a war of wits and torture Carly, so Nelle will go at it like the Energizer Bunny until someone stops her. Who will it be, and where will it end? No one knows, but the battle has begun.

Sasha launched the first strike by suggesting that Michael marry Willow. Not only is Willow a paragon of virtue who gave up her child to safeguard him from a sexual predator, but she's a teacher and has a close bond with Wiley. Even better, Willow doesn't have a criminal record that Nelle can use against Michael when they go to court.

The problem is, if Carly thinks it's a good idea, then it's a safe bet that it's the worst plan on the planet. Carly loves Sasha's plan, and she sees a kindred spirit in Sasha. It seems that Carly fancies herself a good person who is willing to do bad things for the ones she loves, which is pretty laughable.

Carly is a selfish, vindictive, and impulsive person. She does good, but mostly when it benefits her. Just look at her talk with Josslyn about how there's no staying until the bitter end with Sonny. Oh, really? If a coordinated strike that targeted one of your children and nearly got the other caught in the crossfire isn't enough to walk away, then what will it take? The answer, of course, is another man.

Carly will only ever leave Sonny for another man, and that's the sad truth.

Sasha, on the other hand, is a genuinely good person who was talked into doing something bad by a master manipulator. I don't think Sasha's suggestion that Michael marry Willow was about anything other than protecting Wiley from the very real danger of Nelle.

There might also be a very small part of Sasha that is subconsciously looking for a way out because she just isn't ready to be a mother. I have no doubt that Sasha loves Michael and Wiley, but motherhood is a different matter entirely. Unfortunately, Sasha's plan has disaster written all over it.

Michael is not only handsome, rich, successful, powerful, and the father of the child that Willow loves as her own, but he's also ready to settle down and be a family.

I'm a bit surprised that Sasha is oblivious to what she might be setting into motion, because the only way for Michael and Willow to pull things off is to actually live together as husband and wife, which includes sharing the same bedroom. Nelle is going to watch the newlyweds like a hawk for any sign that the marriage is a ruse, so half measures will not do.

Chase isn't a fool; he sees that a marriage between Michael and Willow will end with both Sasha and Chase out in the cold. However, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing because I actually see potential between Chase and Sasha as much as I do between Michael and Willow. I always have.

Chase and Willow's relationship is sweet and romantic but not very passionate. I see more sizzle between Chase and Brook Lynn, and Brook Lynn drives me up the wall. Also, I think the writers have done a good job of establishing that even though Willow and Chase love each other, they aren't really in sync. Willow is ready to be a mother -- she longs for it -- while Chase is content with it being just the two of them.

Time will tell, but I'm definitely open to seeing where the writers are headed with these four. I just hope that they do manage to stay friends when this is all said and done because I love that dynamic between Michael, Chase, Willow, and Sasha.

Michael and Nelle aren't the only parents embroiled in a custody battle. Lulu is taking Valentin to court to secure custody of Charlotte after he attempted to flee with their daughter. Unfortunately for Lulu, her recent past will return to haunt her when Valentin shows the judge the recording he made of the catfight between Lulu and Brook Lynn at Metro Court Restaurant.

It was hard to have any pity for Brook Lynn in the situation once she confronted Lulu because Brook Lynn refuses to take any responsibility for her role in the disaster. Sure, it was petty and somewhat malicious of Lulu to take advantage of Brook Lynn's mistake, but Lulu is a reporter, and Brook Lynn has been hostile, rude, and downright ugly toward Lulu. Brook Lynn has given Lulu no reason to be nice, let alone alert Brook Lynn to the careless mistake that Brook Lynn should have caught herself.

I also have an issue with Brook Lynn acting like she's an expert on Dante just because they knew each other a long time ago. Brook Lynn knows nothing about Dante and Lulu's marriage or what they've been through together. Brook Lynn's penchant for using Dante as a weapon to hurt Lulu is not what Dante would want, and it makes Brook Lynn look like a child rather than a grown woman. It's tiresome.

However, all the talk about Dante does make me wonder if he's on his way back. Sonny and Jason are caught up in a war of Cyrus' making, and Lulu has moved on with a man who lives an ordinary life that doesn't invite danger. It's the perfect setup for a compelling story, especially if Dante is in the early stages of dealing with his PTSD on his own and building a new life.

So, is Brando the real deal or not? There was a moment when Harmony barged into the garage that I thought Brando and Harmony knew each other, but it turned out to be a red herring. Harmony was nervous because she had bumped into Jason. I want to believe that Brando is a genuinely good guy who is determined to stay on the straight and narrow, but then why was Brando -- an ex-con -- walking around with a loaded gun when he first arrived in town? Isn't that illegal?

Naturally, Jason realized something was up when he saw Harmony's brand-new expensive car, because how can she afford snazzy wheels with the money she earns working a low-level entry job at a nursing home?

Willow, too, has noticed a change in Harmony now that they have reconnected, and she had no problem sharing them with Jason. Will Jason be able to put all the pieces together in time to save T.J.? Sadly, I don't trust Jordan to rescue her son because she's proving to be quite ineffectual against Cyrus.

I'd advise Jordan to call Anna in as a consultant, but Anna has been a mess, too. I'm stunned that Anna remains blind to the truth before her eyes, even when Robert is trying to shine the light directly on it. I love Anna, but lately, I just want to violently shake and ask her how she can call herself a spy. If I didn't know better, I'd say that Alex was once again posing as Anna, but even Alex wouldn't be this gullible.

I do have sympathy for Maxie, even though it was pretty foolish of her to quit her job before making certain that she had the one with Lucy. However, I don't blame Maxie for quitting. If nothing else, why couldn't Nina take a slight pay cut to give Maxie that raise if Jax was worried about how it would look? It's not like Nina isn't wealthy in her own right, and Maxie deserved that promotion and the raise.

Is Peter correct? Does Spinelli still have feelings for Maxie?

I think that is what is really driving Spinelli to expose Peter, and it makes me sad for Ellie. Then again, I haven't seen Ellie in ages, and Maxie is going to need someone to help her pick up the pieces when her life implodes and Peter's house of cards collapses. There was a time that I loved what Spinelli and Maxie had until it turned toxic and dysfunctional. They are both in a much different place now, so perhaps they could make things work this time around.

Finally, Julian and Britt hit the sheets then promptly went their separate ways. Britt paid Liesl a visit, but she walked away when Liesl began making death threats and pointing the finger at Britt's brother Peter. I get her reluctance to get involved in her mother's problems, but I do hope that she doesn't fall for Peter's lies.

Julian and Britt definitely had fabulous chemistry, but word has it that Britt's visit is temporary. Such a shame, because I would have loved to see what the writers could cook up for Julian and Britt.

Random observations

Why do Franco and Liz have frozen pipe damage in the tens of thousands? Did all their pipes freeze? Don't they have homeowner's insurance? Sure, raising boys is expensive, but Liz is a nurse at a hospital where she has worked for years, and I don't see any sign of a crazy spending habit, so why is she always broke?

How can a woman with Nelle's homicidal history possibly have anything more than supervised visitation with a child? Did everyone forget that Nelle spent a year in a sanitarium? Michael's conviction was for lying and covering up what would have been ruled as a justified death.

I find it both astounding and terrifying that Harmony got a job at Turning Woods when she was convicted of drugging people against their will. I pray that in real life, places like that have much stricter guidelines for hiring.

Reader feedback

What has happened to the once-formidable Anna Devane? She's been reduced to a needy, delusional, blubbering mass of emotional Jell-O, who is no longer on the right side of the law! I'm just about ready to trade her in on Heiny's REAL mother, ALEX!! At least SHE hasn't lost her spark, and you KNOW she's not going to get teary-eyed over her overgrown offspring or bend over backwards trying to be the Mother she never was to him! -- Scrimmage

I think it was suspicious that Taggert was deemed in good shape and sent Trina out of the room for candy and then he unexpectedly died. Taggert may not have been around for Trina throughout her childhood but I think he would put her safety before everything else, even Trina's pain over losing him because she needs to be seen mourning to make the death believable. She was kidnapped once to get to him, and it could happen again so Taggert could have made a deal with Sonny to fake his death and hide out in a safe house while he works against Cyrus, who believes he's dead. At this point, I think Sonny and Taggert believe they can shut down Cyrus' operation in a couple of months and, by Taggert faking his death, Trina's safety is assured, and Cyrus won't see him coming. -- Daffy Sez

While I think Molly will change her mind, it's amazing to me that people can have a long term relationship and never discuss marriage and their views about it. -- Lisa Echerd

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. I love hearing from readers, so please feel free to drop me a line or leave a comment below. Take care and happy viewing,
Liz Masters

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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