“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t good” — American Idol judge Carrie Underwood reflects on her journey on the show

Carrie Underwood from American Idol
Carrie Underwood from American Idol

As American Idol season 23 moves into its Top 10 stage, longtime fans of the show are seeing a familiar face on the judges’ panel — Carrie Underwood, the winner of Season 4. Now a successful recording artist and television personality, Underwood is reflecting on the very moment that changed her life two decades ago.

Back in 2005, as a 21-year-old college student studying broadcast journalism, she took the American Idol stage to perform Martina McBride’s Independence Day. In a recent episode of her Idol to Icon YouTube web series, Underwood revisited that defining performance, reading from a journal entry she wrote at the time.

“I just have to remember that I know I’ve got this. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t good,” she noted.

Carrie Underwood revisits her turning point on American Idol

On her Idol to Icon web series, Carrie Underwood discussed her 2005 Top 10 performance of Independence Day and recalled the uncertainty she felt at the time. She read from her old diary, stating,

"I don’t know, sometimes I think it would just be easier if I go home. But I know I would regret it forever." She added, "I can so do this. And who cares if the judges don’t like it? I know I do… lol."

During the episode, Underwood emphasized that she didn’t fully entertain the idea of winning until the final stages of the competition.

“I don’t think I let the ‘win’ scenario really enter my brain until, like, Top 3 or 4,” she said. “For me, at the time, it was like, there were certain levels you wanted to get to because different things can happen.”

Underwood described her early strategy on American Idol as practical and goal-oriented. At first, she focused on making it to the Top 24, then the Top 12, and eventually the Top 10.

With a background in broadcast journalism, she viewed each advancement as a way to boost her job prospects, even if she were eliminated. Making it into the Top 10 brought her a sense of reassurance—it felt like a milestone that couldn’t be taken away, no matter what happened next.

Underwood also revealed that her early music influences played a critical role in shaping her performance style on American Idol. She spoke about her admiration for Martina McBride and the challenge of singing her songs.

“She was somebody that I looked up to, still look up to,” Underwood said. “I would want to sing her songs because they were difficult. So in a lot of ways, she kind of taught me how to sing because I was trying to sing her big songs with her big voice.”

Underwood revealed that she had performed a Martina McBride song even before appearing on camera during her American Idol journey. For her very first audition, she chose Phones Are Ringing All Over Town, a decision she believes may have significantly influenced her path. She reflected that things could have turned out very differently had she picked another song or artist.

As she revisited her defining performance, Underwood described the look and feel of the night. Wearing a denim outfit and a thin green scarf, she delivered Independence Day with voluminous hair, which reflected the style at the time.

She also remembered the judges’ feedback, especially from Simon Cowell. During the 2005 episode, Cowell gave his assessment:

“You know, Carrie, I do get a hard time sometimes for being critical, but I think some of the performances I’ve seen tonight, honestly, I’ve seen in karaoke bars across England, America, and yet you have something different, and that’s what you look for, which is that ‘it’ factor. And that’s what it’s all about.”

American Idol airs Sundays and Mondays at 8 pm EST on ABC.

Edited by Sezal Srivastava