It takes two to (horizontal) tango

It takes two to (horizontal) tango
It takes two to (horizontal) tango

A familiar (and not imaginary) young lady's identity is revealed! Dancing, prancing, and even bursting into song! And has Chloe finally gone over the edge? To find out more, read this week's Two Scoops.

Yes, folks, we have finally arrived at the week that contained the fastest and most thrilling two minutes of the year...and no, I am not talking about Neil and Hilary's romp in the sack. Of course, I am referring to the Kentucky Derby, where twenty of the best three-year-old horses ran for the roses at Churchill Downs. I can tell you that after attending this most prestigious event several years ago, the derby is not all about horses running a race but more about the spectators being dressed to the hilt adorned with creative and outrageous hats, as they stroll around sipping on their mint juleps. And from the way that Devon was throwing down his drinks at the Athletic Club, he probably would have been happy to chug-a-lug some of those also.

Actually, I learned on my one visit to the Kentucky Derby that if you are going to watch the race itself, you would be much better off staying at home, sitting in the luxury of your favorite recliner in your living room. It's all about atmosphere and fashion at the derby, which could even rival Chelsea's fashion show, and if you are lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the horses prancing around, all the better. But Neil could probably have given the colts and fillies a run for their money in the prancing department, after he and Hilary did "the horizontal tango" in her room. Neil had a spring in his step and a song in his heart as he greeted Devon, who was guzzling drinks at the bar.

Poor Devon. You almost have to feel for the guy. His eyes are always on Hilary, each time she enters the room, and his heart is always on his sleeve. Neil and Hilary are blind not to see that. Yet Devon would have to be pretty clueless not to put two and two together and realize that, as he stood outside Hilary's door, the person he overheard her with, while they were in the throes of passion, was indeed Neil. Talk about some flimsy doors!

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I mean, Neil has been very transparent about his feelings for Hilary ever since Leslie kicked him to the curb. (But, no, Neil maintained that he was not on the rebound.) He even sang to Devon that he had just woken up on the right side of the bed and later told Hilary, right in front of Devon, that he had just had the best workout. Neil's look to Hilary said it all. (Not to mention the words themselves.) Please, get a clue, Devon!

So, while Neil was rejoicing that the "old car has been traded in for this nice, new, shiny, happy, new one," Devon finally accepted that Esmeralda was just a teeny, tiny bit on the shallow side. Please...when Devon expressed wanting to become involved in a youth dance program at the community center, dear empty-headed Esmeralda could only talk about her tragic circumstances at a swimsuit photo shoot with Lily, where there had been "no bars, no shopping, no phone service." Oh, the horror! Devon realized that he wanted a woman of substance and that person was not Esmeralda. My guess is that Devon's biggest attraction to Esmeralda was that he could use her to try to make Hilary jealous. Too bad it didn't work.

While Devon wondered about the identity of the new man in Hilary's life, Cane and Lily remained clueless about Neil, whom they believed was only putting up a brave front about his breakup with Leslie. Neil should be a little wary, though. Why does Hilary want to keep their fling a secret? (Here we go with the secrets again!) Would it be to spare Devon's feelings? Nah. I don't think she cares enough about Devon to do that.

Hilary may have turned over a new leaf, but she still seems pretty self-centered to me. Devon really needs to beware. Heartbreak may be headed his way if he continues to lust and long for Hilary. And Neil should watch out as well. Hilary could just be cementing her place at Jabot with their sealed kiss.

Didn't you just love the picturesque outdoor scene of the Newman ranch complete with horses? Surely, that was Y&R's tribute to the Kentucky Derby. I jest, of course. But I thought that was a glorious shot and was the perfect setting for the Newman ranch. Too bad the atmosphere inside the house didn't reflect the peace and quiet of the scene.

Nick stormed into the house and finally informed his mother of his father's dastardly deeds. Even Nikki, who has never been Sharon's biggest fan, was outraged that Victor had resurrected Cassie from the grave to sabotage Sharon during her recovery. It was truly a despicable thing for Victor to do. Okay, so Nikki and Nick ended their relationships with Victor but we all know that will only be until they forgive him -- again.

I have been thoroughly riveted with the reveal of the girl who resembles Sharon and Nick's beloved daughter. I have always liked Sharon and Nick together as a couple -- except, of course, when the writers turned Sharon into a total whack-job -- and I have enjoyed watching this couple together again. However, I am trying not to become too invested in them as a couple because I know that Sharon's secret (you know, the one that everyone in town keeps alluding to) will eventually come out. And no matter how much Nick claims that nothing will ever split them up again, Sharon's past action will most likely do some damage. Even though she was battling her mental illness at the time, how could Nick ever forgive Sharon for changing Summer's paternity test results (if she, in fact, did)?

I am also loving this new-old version of Sharon. She used to be one of my favorites until past writing almost destroyed her character. Thankfully, recovery from her illness has given us "the old" Sharon back. She loved Nick so much that she went to Victor and requested his help in learning her secret. I, too, remember when Victor remained loyal to Sharon after Nick deserted her. Victor had always championed Sharon, even when everyone else had turned against her. I was glad that these writers remembered that, as Sharon did.

Unfortunately, Victor could only reveal that Phyllis knew the secret and then he insisted that Sharon break it off with Nick. Luckily, Nick refused to let her, as he exclaimed, "We don't drag each other down. We hold each other up." It should be Nick's decision to end things with Sharon, once he finds out the truth, not Victor's. If he decides to do so.

But Sharon still wants to know the identity of the girl that is the spitting image of her daughter, and I can't say that I blame her. Actually, Sharon scares me a little because I have a feeling that she will start looking at the girl as Cassie, even though she isn't. Fake Cassie still refused to disclose anything about herself. However, phone calls revealed that she knew Ian Ward.

Wow, what better way for Ian to get revenge on Nikki than to target her son by using a young lady that resembles Nick's deceased daughter?! If that was his plan, that is. Nikki was so right when she pointed out that Victor was sick and cruel and no better than Ian Ward. Victor and Ian would both be doing the very same horrible deed, only for their own agendas -- and against different targets, since Victor was out to destroy Sharon and Ian's path has always led back to Nikki.

But no, apparently Ian didn't even know that the pretty imposter was in town, which means that he hadn't manipulated the misguided girl onto her wayward path. I bet that he wishes he had thought of that scheme though. I would also gamble that he wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of the situation that Victor created to worm his way back into Nikki's world. I wonder how Ian is connected to the young lady? I am like Sharon in that I want to know more about her. But wait a minute...what's this?! The faux Cassie is actually Mariah?!

Y&R fan Maurine voiced her opinion on this:

    I have to admit I NEVER expected fake Cassie to be the evil stalker Mariah! That does not bode well for my hope that that the girl would turn out to be a twin and eventually mother and daughter would come to love each other. And what is the Ian Ward deal?

I would have loved the twin story, also, but alas, it was not to be. So fake Cassie was Mariah, and Tyler's ex made it perfectly clear that she still had designs on him. Mariah stated to Tyler that he was better off with her than "cheap thrill" Abby because the redhead knew all of Tyler's secrets. What? More secrets?!

Mariah claimed that Tyler would never be part of the Newman family and even warned him about Victor. You would think that Victor's reputation would precede him enough to where nobody would ever need to be warned. And Tyler lives in Genoa City, for heaven's sake. I guess his love for Abby has blinded him to Victor's past (and current!) deeds. Mariah referred to Abby as "a country club bimbo" who considered Tyler her pet project, all shiny and civilized, and she may have a point. Hopefully, Abby can see beyond Tyler's "hotness" and honestly loves him for who he is. Whoever that is. Remember, he has secrets!

Good for Tyler! After Abby found Mariah's deliberately dropped bracelet on the floor of her and Tyler's motel room, Tyler actually admitted that Mariah was staying in the room next door. What? We didn't have to wait two months for that reveal to come out? It is May sweeps!

Anyway, Abby decided the thing to do would be to confront Mariah, and she ran into the red-haired girl in the hall. Only Abby thought she was fake Cassie and chewed the girl out for her misdeeds against Sharon. She was stunned to learn that phony Cassie was also Mariah! This should be pretty weird for Abby, since Tyler's ex is a dead (oops, sorry!) ringer for her deceased niece. Somehow, I doubt if Abby will confuse the two girls in her mind, since she and Cassie weren't all that close anyway. Abby should be able to see Mariah as the threat that she is.

Actually, quite a few Y&R fans had predicted that this girl was Mariah, and to them I say good job sleuthing! I guess it's a good thing that Tyler had already insisted to Abby that he sign a prenuptial agreement in a show of love because I think Mariah's presence in Genoa City is going to wreak havoc in Abby's life. It will certainly stir up Abby's jealousy. Ha...now we know the other reason why Mariah desired to stay in town. It seems that Miss Mariah still wishes to keep her claws in her ex. Y&R fan Kathy E. notes:

    Now that we've seen the "hidden" Mariah, I'm confused. When Tyrone first pursued Lily, didn't his sister say that he was only interested in Lily because she looked just like Mariah? Except for long hair, I don't see a lot of similarities.

Hmmm...that's a good point. Maybe Leslie had meant in personality traits. Or possibly the writers were hoping that we had forgotten about that. (I will admit that I had.) I had noticed, though, that the hands and arms of the faceless woman who had previously been shown seemed to have had a darker complexion. The writers probably hadn't been sure in which direction they wanted to go with Mariah until they cast her. And once Camryn Grimes was brought back as ghost/imaginary/fake Cassie, they decided the best way to keep her would be to tie her into Abby and Tyler's story as Mariah. Oh well, at least she has the long hair.

As I have stated, I have thoroughly enjoyed watching the scenes about the reveal of phony Cassie, a.k.a. Mariah, and seeing how the dominoes have been falling as a result. The writing for this has been good, and the acting of the entire cast is consistently great. Y&R fan Maurine provided another remark:

    Y&R has always been slow-paced; I've been watching since late 1981 and my husband has often teased me that he can observe the scenes every six months and still know what is going on. Not true, of course, but actually I think the interwoven stories are being written and acted quite well. I just got to watch my Friday tape and am impressed by the interaction between Jack and new Kelly. Cady was Rosanna from ATWT at the party, but already her charming sophistication seems perfect for Jack.

I absolutely agree with Maurine about Cady's Kelly. Cady is already making Kelly much more likable in my eyes, and I think her version of Kelly is a much better fit for Jack. They are cute together. I did enjoy Kelly's poem about swinging in the park with your feet touching the sky, which had been written by her student. Kelly was practical and realistic when she wanted to talk to Jack about Phyllis. And she was observant enough to see that what Jack and Phyllis shared was a powerful love that would transcend her injury. Jack's reason for calling Phyllis "Red"-- not only because of her hair but also because of her fiery temper -- was endearing.

Jack indicated that Phyllis' passion, heart, and vulnerability were gone but I'm not so sure about that. I believe that, in time, "Red" will awaken from her coma. Probably just as Jack realizes that he has fallen head over heels in love with Kelly, of course. However, when we next see Phyllis, she will not be played by the spectacular Michelle Stafford, who has snagged a role as Nina Clay on General Hospital, as announced on Soap Central, Y&R's loss is GH's gain. The best of luck to Michelle Stafford in her new gig. Now maybe Y&R will recast Phyllis so that Sharon's secret can finally come out. This has gone on long enough.

Ian must be sticking around for a while because he also had his hands in Avery and Dylan's affairs (so to speak). At least Dylan was aware that Ian had only made him the sole beneficiary in his will to give Dylan less incentive to harm Ian. Sure, who would the cops look at first if something were to happen to Ian? Why, Dylan, of course...the person who has everything to gain, including money. He already had the motive. Dylan was also right not to react to Ian when he saw him, which only would have given Ian power and control over Dylan. If Ian can't manipulate you, he will follow another path that leads to someone that he can manipulate. The smart move is to not give him the power.

Luckily, Dylan has Avery for support and vice versa, as she prepared for the next episode of her cooking show. And Avery was there for Nick, also, when she advised that Victor might not be charged with a crime, since the victim, Sharon, was unwilling to cooperate. Avery's best advice to Nick was to focus on the good things and to forget about Victor; and she charged him a hug for her services. Now that's a deal!

Nick's problem, though, is that Victor never lets anyone forget about him ever. After all, how can Victor "protect" his children unless he is always hovering around them. You can run, but you cannot hide. The fates of Nick, Victoria, and Abby will always be influenced by Victor, whether they want it or not.

And some of Victor's control may spill over onto Dylan, since he is Nikki's son. That's if Nikki ever forgives Victor, but we know that would be when, since Nikki always forgives Victor eventually. It's just a matter of time. But Dylan was right when he pointed out to Victor that Nikki would no longer be protected from Ian on her own.

However, Dylan should be more worried about Avery, who received flowers from someone unknown. Could they be from a secret admirer? Or a crazed fan? Or Ian Ward? (But Avery rejected Dylan's suspicion.) Or, after watching Austin place the flowers in the scene right next to Avery, I have to wonder if it was him? But for what reason? Oh, don't tell me...Austin has a secret too. Any ideas what that could be?

Thank goodness Dylan has befriended Stitch (you know, "the great guy, amazing doctor, everybody's pal") throughout the years and still doesn't want to see his buddy hurt. Even though Dylan advised Stitch to back off when it came to Victoria, Stitch refused to do so. To me, "the path" this story has taken has become somewhat bumpy. Maybe because Stitch's huge secret, which no one could ever possible forgive him for, has dragged on too long.

Even Kelly swore that she would continue to keep Stitch's secret, although Billy was determined to learn what it was. I am not sure that we will feel much surprise -- actually, it would probably be more of a relief -- when the dramatic reveal is made. Secrets are always great for soaps, but the fans need a big reveal every once in a while to keep things interesting. One of these big secrets needs to come out. Preferably either Stitch's or Sharon's. Or Ian's. Or now Tyler's. Or all four. Please. It's May sweeps, so let's shake things up!

Oh, but wait! I almost forgot...Victoria purchased a home pregnancy test. It would be rather ironic if Stitch were the father of her baby after she and Billy had tried so hard to have their own biological child together. Or maybe it would be even more ironic if she were pregnant with Billy's child at this very inconvenient stage in their lives (although good for drama purposes) after all of the time they tried to become parents during their happier days together. Of course, Billy would see that as his way to get Victoria back, but if Stitch is the daddy, Billy's last hope for a reunion with Victoria may be lost forever.

But don't worry too much about Billy because if Chloe has her way, they will become parents again of Delia #2. Come on, Billy. Really, it's not like Chloe was asking you to "open up a meth lab or fly to Mars" with her, right? Chloe just felt that she and Billy could recreate a Delia clone by mixing her "off-the-wall, unpredictable, creative genes" with Billy's "intelligent, funny, sexy smile genes." Even as Billy stressed that another baby could not replace Delia, Chloe only knew that she needed another purpose in life. So, this is a good reason to have a baby?

That poor child would constantly be compared to Chloe's deceased perfect daughter and would never be able to measure up to a darling girl who was no longer around to show her flaws and imperfections. Delia's sibling would constantly struggle to find his or her own personality. What a fate! Plus, Chloe already has enough fun trying to take care of her own needs. She really thinks that bringing another child into the world, when she has been far from stable, is the best decision?

I guess Chloe is closer to the brink of insanity than I thought. At least she admitted that she was not in love with Kevin, though, and announced to Billy that she and Kevin were no longer a couple. Let Kevin go, Chloe! Please release him! I have been saying that for years.

At least Billy was sensible enough to refuse to be Chloe's sperm donor with the reason that the only woman he would want to have another child with would be Victoria. So, later, Chloe announced to Chelsea (apparently Chelsea was letting bygones be bygones) that she would be having a baby through a donor, not Kevin. Chloe insisted that the donor would have to be funny, sweet, and sensitive and that he would need to march to the beat of his own drum. Oh, and that the donor would need to have a sexy smile. Chloe said the same thing about Billy. Isn't it a little crazy that on of Chloe's priorities for a baby's father is that he has to have a sexy smile?

And Billy may just get his wish, since Victoria scheduled a doctor's appointment after seeing the results of her home pregnancy kit, and the lab also confirmed that Victoria was with child. So, she was pregnant...but who was the father? It was certainly clear that Victoria didn't know, since she had been with Billy, but there had also been that pesky night of passion between Victoria and Stitch. So, Billy's wish may come true...or it may not. Oh yes, fans, we are all set for yet another version of Who's the Daddy?

In the meantime, in between fighting crime -- and Ian Ward -- Paul greeted his lovely wife, Christine, who had a request of her own: Christine wanted to have their baby to make her perfect life even better. Good heavens, just about every woman in Genoa City will be pregnant at the same time except Lauren! Just imagine how Lauren will feel each time she runs into one of them. She will have to pretend to be happy for her dear friend, while she yearns for the amazing experience again herself. At least the obstetrician will have a thriving business.

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I thought that the title of Avery's new cooking show, You're Being Served, was very creative. That, of course, references the fact that she is both a chef and an attorney. It almost reminds me of my favorite The Twilight Zone episode, To Serve Man. (Spoiler alert: it's a cookbook!) What a remarkably clever twist with the words.

When Leslie told a smooching Abby and Tyler to get a room, they actually did! How often do you see that happen?

At least Victoria is willing to give Dylan a chance as her brother now...up to virtually pulling her pigtails. Now that would be crossing the line.

Abby asked Victoria to be her matron of honor because she needed a wingman...woman...person. How appropriate.

Victor's motto in life: "Let me put it this way...if someone hurts my family, they won't ever get away with it."

Neil wasn't the only person shaking his groove thing this week. Nick, Sharon, Noah, and Faith showed some promising moves when they performed their victory dance. Okay, maybe none of them are quite ready yet for So You Think You Can Dance, but practice makes perfect. There's still hope!

Well, at least Nikki won't ever have to want for attention with glorified accountant Milton around. It's always nice to have an obsessed stalker-type handy. Just ask Lauren.

So, instead of using his Newman connection to get out paying a parking ticket, Noah called Courtney the cop in an attempt to squash his ticket? Noah, man up and just pay the thing!

"Criminally Delicious Crme Brule French Toast"? Though rather lengthy, the name says it all. Yum!

"You know, if I were to arrest everyone who couldn't stand the sight of you, county jail would be full." Paul said this to Ian, and I know that similar lines have been stated in the past. But they are funny every time.

When Billy told Jack that the only thing he had going on was "the continuing saga of my crappy life," I thought, "What a great title for a reality show!"

After going on a date to view an Italian movie, Jack asked Kelly, "Why can't one character be forthright and honest?" Soap fans ask that question all the time.

Since I collect glassware, I always admire that gorgeous green glassware every time I see it in the Athletic Club. My husband and I just went to the antique shows in the Round Top and Warrenton areas of the Texas hill country a few weeks ago, where we saw some very nice pieces of glassware and pottery. I bought a couple of Murano roosters, and he purchased several pieces of McCoy pottery, which he collects. It was amazing to see all of the people in these small, very scenic Texas towns. The tents were filled with all different types of antiques. We had a terrific time. If you are ever in the hill country during the dates of the shows, check them out. You won't regret it.

Congratulations to all of The Young and the Restless Daytime Emmy nominees! How impressive was it that four of the five Lead Actor nominees and three of the five Supporting Actress nominees are from Y&R. I wish all of them could win. Good luck to all of the nominees, and I will keep my fingers crossed for Y&R.

READ MORE OF THIS WEEK'S TWO SCOOPSThe Bold and the Beautiful | Days of our Lives | General Hospital |

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