The calm before the storm

Batten down the hatches and get ready for the storm of the century as the winds of change swoop down on Genoa City. Victor plots to reign over Jabot while Jack and Phyllis plan a wedding trip to the islands. Dylan was prepared to defend Sharon, but what will he do now that Sharon's fingerprints have been found on the murder weapon? Will Avery fall for Joe after Joe took a tumble? Will Billy and Victoria, Abby and Stitch, or Chelsea and Gabriel be the first couple to be unfaithful to one or the other's significant other? For a prognostication of what's about to change for our imaginary friends, please join Boone for this week's Two Scoops.

Wow, oh wowie! I must be losing my grip. The writers did it to me again. I jumped out of my recline -- and believe me, that's a remarkable feat -- because I was so shocked when Joe tumbled over the balcony and fell from the hotel. What an ending! I loved it. I am sure that Joe will survive. If he doesn't, then I fully expect Avery to sue the Athletic Club for negligence -- I mean, who ever heard of a classy hotel without a safety railing on the balcony -- further reducing Devon's fortune and making you wonder how long it will be before Katherine's ghost (no doubt played by Jeanne Cooper's ghost) drops in and has a chat with Devon about his financial management skills.

Anyway, back to Avery and Joe, it seems apparent to me that Dylan and Avery have had their fifteen minutes of happiness and are about to change partners. They don't seem to have very much in common anymore. Even though I initially considered Joe "smarmy," I'm warming up to him, and I thought he and Avery made an attractive, sophisticated couple at the award ceremony on Friday's show (I have mentioned that I'm shallow, right?). My new friend Anne wants Dylan to stay with Avery. I didn't burst her bubble and tell her there's a time limit on happiness for most couples on soaps, and I didn't mention that Dylan and Avery are reaching the expiration date on theirs.

It only makes sense to me that Dylan and Sharon will get together while Sharon waits for Nick to be drawn back into her orbit. Both St. Nick and St. Dylan are rescuers, and Sharon is always in need of rescue. Some of the time she gets herself into trouble, but sometimes trouble is thrust on her, and it seems that, no matter what the crime, Sharon is among the first to be suspected. Who can believe that someone who loves her children as much as Sharon does could murder another human in cold blood? Apparently, it seems, most of Genoa City!

Now that Sharon's fingerprints and Austin's blood have appeared on the tire iron that Dylan found along the road, Sharon's worst fear has come true (It's not paranoia if someone's out to get you, Ms. Sharon!); Sharon is being framed, and she will get little help because everyone always believes the worst of her. Sharon's response to fear is to tell lie after lie after lie, and right now, Sharon is very frightened. Nick rescued Sharon the last time she was in trouble, now it's Dylan's turn to become her champion, but will Dylan remain on Sharon's side now that the evidence points directly at her? Bessie thinks Victor had a hand in framing Sharon and that those were Sharon's fingerprints that Nikki found. I'm not so sure.

Another possibility is that the tire iron from Sharon's car -- with Sharon's prints on it -- was used to kill Austin. Remember that Sharon left her car for a period of time while she was hiking around the woods, trying to get help, so someone could have taken the tire iron, worn gloves to smack Austin, and then discarded it in a way that would get Sharon to incriminate herself -- which she did by telling Dylan where to find it! Or, what if the killer has access to the lab and faked the evidence? That would be fitting karmic justice for Sharon and perhaps settle her debt to the universe after she faked that paternity test.

I'm guessing that Sage and Nick will be together for a while, but there is not much love for Sage out there in fandom, according to Bessie, who sent me a list of hilarious nicknames for the character. Some folks are projecting that Sage is broken neck girl and will be the murderer who is revenging herself on Nick and his family. She could even be working for Vicapone as Bessie calls Victor. I think he's more Darth Victor, but either way, it's a possibility. I like Kelly Sullivan as an actress, but I believe she is on a short-term contract, so it makes sense that she could be the raving lunatic murderer, or at least Darth Victor's stooge. Either way, Nick may be the dumpee instead of the dumper this time around. And speaking of Nick, Bessie commented on how scruffy Nick has been looking lately, and it made me think that if Summer's superhero name is "Super Girl," Nick's ought to be "the Scruffinator," and when Nick gets in a fight or starts yelling, he could morph into "the Scruffian" as his super power.

I apologize to Nick fans if I was too harsh in my last column when I labeled Nick an abuser. I thank the fan who wrote to mention it to me. I listened to her reasoning, and I'm willing to give Nick the benefit of the doubt for the time being. Besides, I want him to shape up and get back with Sharon anyway! I wonder what Nick's reaction will be when he finds out that Sage has known Adam's identity all along and didn't tell him. Will he treat her the way that he treated Sharon? If he does, I will accept that Nick is consistent. If Nick gives Sage a pass, then I'm going with "still treats Sharon like a doormat."

I'm wracking my brain to figure out what Victor has in store for Jack and Jabot. I'm pretty sure that we have all figured out that Darth Victor's plan has something to do with Ashley's parentage and the fact that she is not a biological Abbott. I don't think Victor will spill the secret, but I bet that whatever is going to happen, happens while Jack is on his honeymoon with Phyllis, or maybe just before they make it to the altar. Either way, there is going to be big trouble in Genoa City. I have a feeling that Victor somehow sabotaged "Hex" before it went on the shelves, and Jabot is going to have to do some kind of massive recall or pay enormous fines. I also think Darth Victor may have seduced Kyle to the dark side. Several fans have suggested that Victor has used Kyle to plant seeds that will sabotage Jill at Chancellor and Jack at Jabot so that Darth Victor, the Megalomaniacal, can ultimately control all three companies and be crowned emperor of Genoa City.

It would make sense that Kyle might team up with Victor, especially if he was resentful about not being told about Ashley. The old Kyle was no match for Victor, but if this one is ruthless enough and skilled enough to run Jabot for Victor, then he might eventually be ruthless enough to take it from Victor or team up with Adam and try, because as sure as God made little green apples, Jack will never beat Darth Victor. Jack's destiny is failure against his nemesis, just like Obi-Wan Kenobi failed against his, at least on the mortal plane. Star Wars enthusiasts might argue that Obi-Wan, who returned in non-corporeal form, had the last laugh. Jack may have to hope that he can do the same or that if Victor lives as long as the emperor did, Kyle will eventually take up the sword and send Darth Victor to his doom.

Recently, I got a letter from Y&R fan Lorraine that I would like to address. She complained that Jack is always seen in business suits and never wears casual clothes like the other characters. I thought about that, and I do believe that Lorraine has a good point. Jack has worn quite a few business suits lately, but it seems to me that he and Phyllis wore matching red tee shirts or red sweaters some time around Valentine's Day. If I'm wrong, then maybe Jack's patrician heritage is showing, and that would further explain Victor's inexplicable urge to destroy Jack and kick the Abbotts out of Jabot. (Or maybe Victor has an even eviler twin who is wreaking all this havoc. For myself, I think Jack wears those suits very well and is very, very snazzy, especially for a guy that served in Viet Nam.

I do admire Victor, but only in reverse. I try to use my superpower for goodness, but I am a work in progress and don't succeed as often as I would like. It's much easier to be bad than it is to be good, which is probably why Cray-Cray Kelly is calling Jack and hanging up. It looks like Victor has a loose cannon on his hands, and Kelly might actually be around the bend far enough to spoil Victor's plan. Kelly has suffered a lot of loss, and Jack treated her terribly. It could have pushed her over the edge. I might not be so inclined to use my superpowers for good if I had suffered as much as Kelly has.

How close are we to a Billy and Victoria reunion? It can't be long now. I expect that they will be back together before May sweeps is done. Billy and Victoria make a much better couple than Stitch and Victoria. It makes sense for them to get their family back together. Victoria is shoving Abby and Stitch together. I think she wants Stitch to be drawn to Abby. In her own way, Victoria is as wily as Victor, even when she is guileless. It would certainly give Victoria a reason to turn to Billy, and if Chelsea falls for Gabe/Adam, these three couples could do the old do-si-do and then switch partners and start a whole new dance. I'm up for that. I like change, and I like Victoria when she's with Billy and their children

Stitch and Abby are a good pairing. I like the bickering, and besides, Stitch is one of the guys Abby is not related to by blood or family ties. At least Stitch and Victoria are not married, so it won't be adultery, like with Austin, just fornication, which technically is the same relationship that Stitch had with Ashley and has with Victoria. Is it awful for me to say, "There is a guy who really knows how to play doctor!"

Will Adam tell Chelsea who he really is and open the whole can of worms that comes with that revelation, or will he continue to woo her as Gabriel Bingham until his ruse is exposed? Bessie said that she would consider it priceless if Chelsea figured out the truth after overhearing Adam slip up and call Connor, "Peanut." Sounds good to me! I don't know whether Adam will tell who he is or if Chelsea will figure it out or if Adam's identity will be revealed in some other way. What I do know is that it will present another powerful acting opportunity for The Young and the Restless' very talented Emmy-nominated cast.

I do love mysteries, and I figure out a lot of them, but this murder mystery still has me pondering the possibilities. My intrigue level was so high last week that I was sorely tempted to tune in live and watch the show, commercials and all. Some people complain when they can't figure out a mystery like this, but not me. I like guessing and discussing it with other fan addicts. What is puzzling me currently is how the killer can move so freely, especially at the police station. How could Courtney have been taken so easily, and how did the killer know the exact moment that Courtney accessed the security footage, which must have led her to the killer's identity, else why kill Courtney Robin? -- to paraphrase the familiar nursery rhyme.

Another, more specious, possibility is that Courtney and maybe even Austin, if he really is dead, died of "Cartwright Syndrome (CS)," the Bonanza disease (for those of you who are old enough to remember Adam, Hoss, Ben, and Little Joe). During the many years that the show aired, CS struck down any woman who married, got engaged, or fell for a Cartwright man. They got murdered, they got cancer, they got carried away, and sometimes they died for love of a Cartwright, but no matter how deep the love, no woman ever lasted past two episodes.

The Cartwright men didn't grieve much, either, sometimes not even for a whole episode. Summer has mirrored the CS tradition by hopping into bed with Kyle shockingly quickly, so quickly that I have to believe that Austin's fears, that Summer had more in common with Kyle and would eventually turn to him, were justified. In fairness to Summer, sleeping with Kyle may be the only way that Summer can release her unbearable grief. Bessie did mention that Summer had ceased whining. If sleeping with Kyle stops the whining, then a big "atta boy" to Kyle. I do know people that have united through grief and have gone on to have a long and happy relationship. That's probably not going to be Kyle and Summer's fate, but "Lord willing and the creek don't rise," Kyle and Summer are at least entitled to the same 15 minutes of happiness that all the other couples get.

If Austin is still alive, is there any chance Kyle and Austin are somehow in cahoots? As I remember, Austin really did not want to marry Summer. He did it as much to save his neck as for love of Summer. I think Austin tried to love Summer in the beginning when he thought he was going to jail, but even then, it seemed that Summer was more into Austin than Austin was into Summer. I can see that Kyle might pay Austin to go away. I can't see Austin or Kyle going to the police station and murdering Courtney, especially unobserved. How could that be? Wasn't anyone on duty?

Supersize that Cartwright Syndrome for Noah, poor guy, another tragic victim of the disease. His dad goes through women like I go through M&Ms, yet Noah doesn't even get one second of happiness with his tough cop girlfriend who, ironically, was taken out in the police station. Speaking of the police, I thought Paul did a pretty good "Paulumbo" when he was grilling Sharon under the guise of needing a cup of coffee. Sharon wised up before she gave away the whole farm, but it's only a matter of time before the frame, or should I say "noose," tightens around Sharon.

I like the penchant the writers seem to have for taking familiar plots and making a new twist. For example, I think that Hilary is taking a sort of inside out, Marlene Dietrich, Witness for the Prosecution, approach as she cozies up to the A.D.A. Somehow, she is going to get Neil acquitted by making it seem that she is a scheming, vindictive woman. At least, I think that's where it's leading. She is definitely misleading the A.D.A. because she told him that her name was Anne Turner. She is setting him up, and it will be interesting to see how this plays out. I think the A.D.A. will be SOL (sorta out of luck, or words to that effect) when he tries Neil's case.

As soap fans, we know that our favorites may commit crimes, but they hardly ever serve any time for them unless the show chooses to tell a prison story. On General Hospital, Franco has been acquitted of so many crimes, so many times that I have lost count. I expect no less acquittals from the major players in Genoa City, like Phyllis, Victor, Neil, Nick, Nikki, Austin, and anyone else who's done anything legally wrong and has a contract. No prison jumpsuits for those folks, unless they can say, "I make this look good" ( la Will Smith's character about his job-related clothing in Men in Black).

While the plots thicken and the mysteries deepen, still waters roil and storm clouds gather over Genoa City. Strap in, fellow fan addicts, gather your supplies, and get ready to weather the storm with our favorite friends in Genoa City. We can sip libations and ruminate about whether or not there is a serial killer at work in Genoa City, or is it merely a convenient way to downsize the cast? Will Michael, who is looking very weak and pale, be the next to go, or will he make a miraculous recovery at the eleventh hour? Michael sure seemed to be pushing Cane and Lauren together. Will they become "Laurecane" and put us all to sleep? Or perk us up with some cougar-cub doings, assuming that Cane is closer to Lily's age than Lauren's, but then again, Lauren does live in the anti-aging zone, so she might be closer to Lily's age than Cane is.

If you understood that, then you need to watch two episodes of Y&R, read three recaps, and come back for a session in two weeks, because it's clear to me that one of us needs help. Until then, fellow fan addicts, keep guessing "whodunit" and enjoy every minute of every day without hesitation or reservation. Until then, I wish love and happiness to you all -- and a big fat tax refund.

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.