Don't run with scissors

Phyllis is in a bloody tracksuit, Jeremy is dead, Lily kissed Daniel, Kyle bickers with Billy, and Jack is throwing chairs. It's an emotional week in Genoa City! Let's discuss in this week's Two Scoops

Dear readers, we can all conclude that faking your own death is not a good idea. Diane did it. Bad idea. Phyllis did it. Bad idea. Maybe someday those two crazy gals will sit down over brewskis, laughing at their stupidity together. "Hey, Phyllis, remember when I faked my death, and it went horribly wrong?" "I do, Diane. Then, remember how after seeing you do it and wreck your life, I decided to do it, too, and traumatize my entire family because I was mad at you?" And they'll laugh and laugh.

You're probably saying, "That will never happen." But if you are a multi-soap watcher like I am, just see the friendship of Nina and Ava over on GH.

But it certainly won't happen anytime soon. Phyllis had deep regrets about faking her death when she attended her funeral in a Party City bad fake wig, and no one recognized her. This is some Superman parting his hair on the wrong side level of kookiness. How did they not notice her? She was standing at the front of the room with everyone facing her. No one looked up? No one said, "Hey, that brunette has mom's nose?" But I digress.

Phyllis convinced herself that her family and friends no longer cared about her. She was desperate and isolated, and she made some truly horrible decisions.

When Phyllis told Jeremy about her regrets and said she wanted to undo their diabolical plan, he was not having it. He told Phyllis to stick to the program, or he would kill her for real. When Phyllis got in his face and growled, "Do you think I'm afraid of you?" I screamed "YES!" at my TV.

I expected Phyllis to come out as the winner, but I did not expect her to hack Jeremy to death with scissors! I was stunned when she came out of the bathroom, covered in blood. What sort of motel is this that you could walk out of a room, dragging a heavy man-sized bag in a blood-covered tracksuit, and no one noticed? Someone, please go on Trip Advisor and rate this dive as one star.

First off, I couldn't help but think of J.T. Is Jeremy dead, or will she return to where she buried him and find an empty grave? Secondly, I hate to lose James Hyde, because he's a handsome fellow, and I enjoy looking at him. Is that shallow? Yes. Am I ashamed? No. Though there is probably no road to redemption for his character, which is a shame. Maybe he was the evil twin, and his angelic twin Jacob will come back to town, looking for his missing brother.

If Phyllis had a brain, she would go straight to the cops, tell them Jeremy forced her into signing over half of her money and marrying her, and then tried to kill her when she attempted to escape. It would clear Diane, get Phyllis back in everyone's good graces, and shift all the blame to Jeremy, who the entire town already mistrusted.

But my guess is that Phyllis will not do that. Rumor has it that she will show her face to Summer next week but make Summer promise not to tell anyone else she's alive. Why she is doing that and why Summer would agree is still a mystery. Any theories?

Are they going to continue framing Diane? If Summer helps her mom frame her mother-in-law Diane for a murder she didn't commit, that's the end of Summer's marriage. When Kyle finds out -- and he will find out -- it will be explosive. If not, and if Summer suddenly comes around and backs off having Chance investigate Diane, that will look suspicious, too. I am anxious to see how this all plays out.

Jack and Kyle are the only ones in town who believe in Diane's innocence, except Diane's last-minute surprise attorney, Michael Baldwin. Michael will pay for going against Victor's wishes, and Lauren won't be thrilled, either. But readers, tell me, when everyone finds out that Phyllis is alive and that Diane didn't murder her, how many of the naysayers will line up to apologize to Jack, Kyle, and Michael? Probably no one.

Christine was particularly rough on Michael and implied he sold his conscience to the highest bidder. Michael told Christine her judgmental side had returned, and he hadn't missed it. It was an extremely tense exchange between them. I daydream of a scene where Christine says, "Oh, Michael, I was so wrong. Can you ever forgive me?" But I'm not holding my breath.

Christine is probably extra crabby because her marriage is falling apart. While I am glad they finally addressed it instead of just pretending Paul has been out of town or too busy for months, I am still sad that Doug Davidson didn't get to be part of the Y&R 50th anniversary celebration and that he has been given so little love from the producers. I don't understand it. It feels personal.

It certainly isn't because the fans don't want Paul on canvas. They do. It's not because Doug Davidson doesn't want to work. He has expressed a desire to be there. So, it's probably something petty like he forgot one of the producer's birthdays, so they wrote him out in spite. Obviously, I have no idea if that's true. I am just trying to understand why Paul was kicked to the curb after so many years. It still bugs me.

But since that is where we are, I would not hate a Danny and Cricket reunion. I loved them together back in the day, and it's been so delightful to have Danny around.

Across town, Adam informs Victor that Sally is pregnant with his child and that Adam is still in love with her. When Victor discovers that Nick already knows about this and is still having an affair with Sally, he erupts like a volcano all over Nick. I loved every second of it. He asks Nick point-blank if he is just with Sally to try to stick it to his brother. Nick denies it, but I must believe that is part of it. Nick is way too territorial with Sally -- every time Nick sees Sally anywhere near Adam, he runs in like a dog to mark his territory. It's disturbing.

There is still a spark when Adam and Sally are alone, and I am rooting for them. Maybe now that Adam has Victor in his corner, he might stand a chance of winning her back and creating a family with her. Adam and Sally just make more sense to me.

Bad relationship ideas seem to run in Victor's family. Victoria's obsession with Nate is driving me mad. I was glad that Nick caught them. "Go fix your hair" made me laugh. But I have said it before, and I will repeat it: there is a legal name for what Victoria is doing. It's sexual harassment. Nate has told her more than once he isn't interested and wants to be with Elena, but she continually pursues him. She is his boss. Can he say no and keep his job? Can he say no and still get promoted? Does his success at Newman ride on whether he rides on Victoria? We don't know. Nate doesn't know.

Yes, the lines are blurry because Nate keeps making out with Victoria. But it doesn't necessarily matter if he might be attracted to her, too. It only matters that he has verbally said, "No, thank you." And she keeps coming on to him. Sadly, I think he will finally succumb to her advances and blow up his relationship with Elena. At this point, I hope Brytni Sarpy leaves Y&R and goes back to General Hospital as Valerie Spencer because the PCPD needs some serious help.

This is a tricky one because one could view it as two consenting adults or as one pursuer in a position of authority over the person she is pursuing. What do you think? Is she just acting in bad taste, or is she breaking the law? I would love to hear your input.

Did you see Sharon lean in close when Abby told Mariah about Abby and Dominic moving in with Devon? Sharon is especially interested in Abby and Chance's relationship status, as Sharon and Chance are getting very cozy together. Sharon is trying to decide whether to make the next move with Chance.

She put that on hold to throw a baby shower for Mariah, Tessa, and baby Aria. This was a delightful occasion, and they had an inspiring conversation about your birth family versus your chosen family. So many people in the world are rejected by their birth families. They must find another group of people where they are safe, supported, and accepted. It's sad, but it happens. I was happy the writers wrote those beautiful and encouraging words for anyone in that situation to not feel hopeless if they grew up in an unloving or toxic environment. You'll find your tribe in time.

I am disappointed in the Ashley and Tucker storyline. I feel the way Tucker does. Ashley has had Tucker jumping through hoops, and he has continued to do everything she asked of him. Tucker can't force Devon to buy McCall Unlimited if Devon doesn't want to. Now Tucker says he is done and will sell it to Victor to give to Adam, and Tucker will leave town.

If the writers don't come up with something else for him to do, I guess he may as well leave town. Being Ashley's puppy is only entertaining for so long, and he struck out with Devon. I love Trevor St. John, but he's had so few scenes that have done him justice. I loved the scenes where he told Ashley off the other day. More of that, please. If Adam gets it, and Tucker stays on to mentor Adam the way he offered to mentor Devon, that might be interesting. Thoughts?

I loved the scenes with Daniel and Lucy. I hope they find a way to bring Lucy back on canvas to help develop that relationship. Since Lucy is rooting for Daniel and Lily, and so am I, I welcome her with open arms. Lily finally kissed Daniel this week, and I am anxious to see what comes next. I want flashbacks of their teenage romance. Lots of them.

Readers, I feel sorry for Jack. I don't know why Peter Bergman can make me cry so quickly, but he just does. I can't bear it when Jack has a broken heart! Jack went to see Diane in jail, and she told him it's harder for him when he comes to visit, and she needs him to stay away. She wants him to move on, assuming she never gets out of jail. Jack lost it and started flipping chairs in the prison visiting room. He stormed over to Michael and demanded that Michael get her out on bail.

His visit was ill timed because he came right as Christine said snarky things about wealthy clients trying to buy their way out of trouble. Oops. That topic seems like it's ripped from the headlines right now. We have seen a lot of evidence of one brand of justice for the average Joe and another for people with deep pockets.

While I ultimately want Diane to go free, since she is innocent, I would not mind if Y&R did a storyline about another person in the same jail as Diane, also innocent, but without people able to pay millions of dollars in bail. Soaps used to be great at tackling social issues, and I think they can be again if they are brave. People get easily offended, so I understand why the writers hesitate to address things that might make the fans freak out.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will anyone ever call Phyllis' sister, Avery Bailey Clark, and tell her to get her butt out of Acapulco and back to Genoa City? (If you haven't seen her in that, she's magnificent.) Will Phyllis find some miracle detergent to get all that blood out of her tracksuit? Will Noah and Allie survive their trip to Genoa City once they run into Audra? Will Kyle stop being a jerk to Billy before he gets his office supplies and give him five minutes to settle in? Will Audra keep standing with her ear pressed to the door, listening for Victoria and Nate to do it on Victoria's desk?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

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