Wigs, wide brim hats, and shades

For the Week of July 17, 2023
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No need for any further disguises, Phyllis has finally turned herself in. And Michael went to Singapore to save Gloria -- wait, what?!? Let's discuss this and other weirdness in this week's Two Scoops

Dear readers, would you be suspicious if you saw someone walking around in a wide-brimmed hat and giant sunglasses and saw bits of long red hair peeking out from a short black wig? Phyllis is wandering around town and visiting high-traffic areas in a rather flimsy disguise. Not as flimsy as Clark Kent and Superman with just a hair part and glasses, but almost. Michael reminded her that Christine also walks in the park and would not be fooled by her get-up. I would love to see Cricket bust her in the park and rip her wig off! Sweet soapy drama!

When Phyllis had the fantasy sequence where Diane discovered her, I thought it was real at first, but no, it's just Diane living rent-free in Phyllis' head again. So many people in Genoa City are motivated by revenge to the point of ruining their lives! Observation: the outfit Diane wore in Phyllis' imagination was the same outfit she wore in real life. Is Phyllis psychic?

Phyllis promises to make everything right once the EMT is found and will spend the rest of her days atoning for her sins and fixing the hell she made of Summer's life. Phyllis means it, but she probably won't be able to deliver on that promise. Now Carson has been found and has been "persuaded" by Tucker to back up Phyllis' story, but how will that fix Summer's marriage and reputation? What can Phyllis do to resolve that, especially since Kyle has already slept with Audra? When Summer saw Audra at the bar with Kyle, I think she instantly knew something was happening between them. Next week's previews hinted at a showdown, and I am just waiting for the scene where Summer runs into Audra. Here's hoping for some hair-pulling.

I predict Phyllis will end up in jail. Not for long, because she's Phyllis, but at least for a bit. Maybe she will run into her old nemesis Sheila Carter there. Oh, wait, Sheila's in jail in L.A. this time. Phyllis' smug look while she strolled down the stairs was too much for Christine to bear. Christine reminded Phyllis of the damage she caused to her family and the entire town and that she wasn't a prom queen. But Phyllis kept smiling. Watching Cricket's head explode when Phyllis produces a witness that exonerates her will be so much fun. I love Lauralee Bell, and her sheer hatred for Phyllis all these years always tickles me. Smoke would pour out of her ears if she were a cartoon character. That catfight-spirited loathing is pure soapy goodness and is just fun to watch.

Michael is a loyal friend to Phyllis, despite her worst impulses and mistakes. Oh, to have a friend like that who would support you no matter what stupid thing you did! So, for him to ditch Phyllis and the murder trial to go to Singapore to rescue Gloria seems forced. I am having a hard time buying that premise. Will Heather be able to successfully defend Phyllis? Time will tell.

The only thing we know for sure is that Phyllis' plan to fake her death was all for naught. It cost her children dearly, but it cost her sworn enemy Diane hardly anything.

Phyllis' plan backfired spectacularly. Sure, Diane sat in prison for a few months, and tell me, who could look more glamorous in prison garb than Susan Walters? Not only is Diane free, but she is engaged to Jack and was promoted into a power position at Jabot. Ashley and Tucker are counting on Phyllis' continued rage against Diane to rid Jack and Jabot of Diane, so they are willing to team up with our favorite wildly unpredictable redhead to destroy Diane.

The fact that Ashley is laser-focused on ruining Diane because she hurt Jack years ago is a bit loony tunes, considering that Ashley forgave Tucker, who hurt her years ago. It shocks me to say it, but former party boy Billy Boy Abbott has joined Traci as one of the sane, calm, rational siblings of the Abbott family.

Eventually, as Diane pointed out to him this week, Billy will have to pick sides, as will Abby, as Summer cautioned her. A big family battle is on the horizon, and who will win? I don't know, but I am tired of Ashley toying with Tucker. What sort of emergency will it take for her to admit she loves him? A near-death experience? Trapped in an elevator? He packs up his bags to leave Genoa City? I don't know, but I am ready for it.

As I understand it, soaps will continue to carry on, despite the Hollywood actors' and writers' strike, because soap actors fall under a different umbrella. So, maybe people hungry for new content will tune in to the soaps for lack of other options? I would treat it like sweeps month and write some explosive storylines to hook the potential new viewers.

On the news today, they said the airwaves will be heavy with reality TV. Gross. I must tell you, that makes me throw up a little in my mouth. Except for singing competitions like American Idol and The Voice, I despise reality TV. Loathe it. I do not watch it; I shun it. I don't like to see trashy people bickering; I don't care if some TV star can or can't dance; I couldn't point a Kardashian out if they were next to me in Target. I don't want to see people pitch their products to billionaires; I am uninterested in people fighting in the jungle to survive. Nope. Hard pass.

I prefer scripted drama with stories to follow and trained actors to act them out. Period. Maybe other people like me won't want to watch hours of reality TV and would try out a soap instead to see a story play out? I don't know, but here's hoping.

But I digress. Back to Genoa City! Adam Newman is set to take over McCall, and Sharon hopes to convince Adam to merge with the company that creepy Cameron Kirsten left Sharon in his will. With my soap-swami turban on, I would guess that Cameron isn't dead (again). If Sharon and Adam make his company into a vast global empire, he will crawl back from the grave to collect. Or, if not Cameron, perhaps some previously unknown child he left behind.

I hope Adam agrees with Sharon's plan. I want to see Sharon get out of coffee land into the real world again. She's intelligent, vibrant, and beautiful and has spent far too long giving advice to people in the coffee shop. Sharon deserves her own life and a new love. I enjoy her dynamic with Chance, but I see something with him and Summer, too. I'm torn.

Isn't it time for the teen set to take over Crimson Lights? Since Heather is already back in town, why not have Faith and Lucy come back to town and work there this summer? They can meet some hot teen boys and have fantastic summer young adult drama like the kind Daniel and Lily had when they were teenagers!

I am delighted that Lily and Daniel are back together. I can hardly wait to repeatedly watch them fall in love in Lily's new penthouse. I hope Lily does redecorate and that Daniel designs a place that's a little funky with a touch of elegance. These two are my favorite couple right now. It is half nostalgia from how much I loved them in the past and half that Christel Khalil and Michael Graziadei still have mad chemistry together. I wish they had a photo of their Vegas wedding, but that was before cell phones.

Has anyone ever made you a character in a video game before? Yeah, me neither. I thought that was a charming plot point, and I enjoyed those scenes with these two sweet characters who deserve happiness.

Chelsea is another character who deserves happiness, and I am glad Summer offered Chelsea a role at Marchetti. Chelsea has been unlucky at love, battled a mental health crisis, and now is dealing with a surly kid who seems to have his father's moodiness DNA. I would love to see Chelsea shine creatively and find balance in her life again. I understand the slow-burn relationship between her and Billy, but I am ready for the writers to pick up the pace. Give me some old-time summer Love in the Afternoon.

Sally finally reads Adam's letter and feels sympathetic to what Adam is going through, even if she is not ready to leap in to try to save him herself. She strongly encouraged Nick to go and work with Adam at McCall for both of their sakes. It's funny that Victor is so opposed to Sally being with his sons because, in truth, she is suitable for both. Sally is encouraging their brotherly bond and partnership, which is precisely what VÝctor wants, too. He doesn't know it, but he and Sally are on the same side.

I think VÝctor is fed up with all his children, except maybe Abby. He's none too happy that Victoria forced Nick into a leave of absence and put her current lover in his place. He's angry that he gave Adam his own company to run, and Adam intends to use that generous gift to destroy his sister. VÝctor is peeved at Nick because he wants Nick to drop Sally, and Nick refuses. No one is doing what Victor wants, and we all know what that means; Victor will take away the toys from his rebellious children, take over again, and force them to "bend the knee." Or so is my prediction.

In one of the most enlightening scenes of the week, Kyle expected his pal Mariah to quit her job to show her loyalty to him over Summer. She had to remind him that she must work for a living to pay rent and is not a trust fund baby. He looked at her with glazed-over eyes, trying to process that information. I feel like that same scene probably plays out in companies across America daily, where the CEO types get moments of realization that some people have to try to survive on $15 an hour -- or less in places where the minimum wage is $7.25 an hour.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Phyllis look good in orange? Will Summer rip off Audra's false eyelashes in their impending catfight? Will Mariah quit her job to show loyalty to Kyle and have Tessa busk on the streets of Genoa City to pay their electric bill? Will Diane resign from her new high-powered role to save Jack and Ashley, as Billy suggested, or just sit back with popcorn and watch them destroy each other? Will Phyllis take Tucker up on his offer to mess with Diane's mind and throw her off her game just to amuse herself? (Side note: Is it just me, or did anyone else see a little spark between Phyllis and Tucker?)

Will Chloe, the most creative person in Genoa City, ever get the respect she deserves after being at the center of 50 Y&R upstarts? Will that kiss Sharon and Chance shared in next week's previews lead to something tangible? Will Jack send Nikki flowers to apologize for thinking she was a corporate spy?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in as long as there are tomorrows.

The Bold and the Beautiful | Days of our Lives | General Hospital |

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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