Three funerals and a wedding

Boone
Three funerals and a wedding
Three funerals and a wedding

A killer was finally revealed. Paul enlisted Dylan to investigate Harding. Marco was determined to take over Jack's life. Victor was determined to stop Marco and hoped that Nikki would move back to the ranch. Nick and Sage moved happily ahead as did Dylan and Sharon. The Scooby gang continued to investigate ineptly. Hilary and Devon's perfect wedding may be over before the ''I do's'' are said.

Despite careful planning, it looks like Hilary and Devon's lavish wedding will be another typical Genoa City event, following such notable non-weddings as Sharon and Nick, Nick and Avery, and Noah and Courtney. You fans can probably come up with a few others, but following soap opera tradition, an objection is coming, either from Neil or someone else from Hilary's past, who will wreck the wedding and send Hilary running while the actress takes pregnancy leave -- and just in time. Bessie reported that some folks thought the wedding bouquet was big enough for a funeral wreath, though the reason for it was obvious and hard to ignore.

I thought that the way Lauren took the bouquet from the bride and moved it toward the camera to hide Hilary's girth was very clever. I still knew that she was pregnant, but I could overlook it for that gorgeous gown that Hilary was wearing. I liked Lauren's dress also. She looked really great in it. One of the nice things about soap weddings is the terrific clothes that the ladies (and gents) wear. I loved Michael's suit and grey tie. I liked Colin's lavender tie and shirt combo also, though I certainly do not like Colin, who is proving to be a big slimeball.

His anything-for-a-buck attitude seems really out of place for a man who has access to so much money and has already blackmailed Devon for enough money to buy Chancellor back from Victor. What does Jill see in this guy anyway? Is she that desperate for a man or, at heart, is she just as venal and conscienceless as Colin is? All questions to be asked and answered at a later time.

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In the immediate, I have to wonder who walked into the wedding just as the "I do's" were about to start. It might be Neil, or it might be someone else. I do think that the video is about to surface and Hilary will be hurt in the cruelest way possible. It will have to be bad enough that she will have to leave town. That's pretty bad, since nothing else has made her want to leave. (Karma is a bitch Hilary, but so far, you've been unscathed by it after all the cruel and dirty things that you did, so suck it up, take your lumps, and lick your wounds!)

Moving right along to the big reveal, we finally know that Detective Harding is the killer responsible for three funerals. He is a regretful killer, but a killer nonetheless. Harding is in over his head with Marco, and he knows it. Harding is trying to get out and get back to being a good cop, but I'm afraid that that genie is not going back into the bottle. Harding is doomed, and his days are numbered. Dylan is already being groomed as his replacement, so I expect Harding to get gunned down, either by Paul and Dylan or, more likely, by Marco.

Marco fell hard for Phyllis, and he wants her back, so he is going to do everything in his power to take back Jack's life. Personally, I think jack ought to get a tattoo, or something that identifies him, maybe swallow a GPS tracker or something like that. I read in the previews that Jack confronts Marco at the cabin. I wonder if, coincidentally, they will be wearing the same clothes, making it impossible to tell them apart. Of course, if the cops do manage to catch both of them at the same time, there are always fingerprints, but who bothers with little details like that at the GCPD?

Victor, who started this whole juggernaut rolling, is claiming that he is the victim, that he and everything he holds dear has been attacked by something called the Paragon Project. Naturally, Victor figured that Jack and the Abbotts were behind it. They don't seem to be. Jack thought that it must be Adam, but that doesn't seem to be the case either. All that's left are Jill, Colin, and Cane. My money's on Colin, the weasel, and I wouldn't be surprised to see Ian Ward ooze out of the slime either. He promised Victor payback then he just faded away, so he could sneak back in at any time. Cane discovered evidence against Colin several months ago, but he did not tell Victor. We overheard Colin plotting with someone about that time, so I expect Colin to be front and center when Victor discovers who is plotting against him.

So far, I haven't seen Tristan Rogers and Eric Braeden going head to head, acting-wise. I think that a dust-up between those two fan faves would be very entertaining, especially during the doldrums of the summer, where flashbacks, flash-forwards, and lots of repeat conversations are the rule, not the exception.

I was thrilled during the minute or so that Chelsea and Adam found happiness in Paris. Then Adam had to go and spoil it all by lying to Chelsea about something that didn't matter, a phone call from Jack. Why didn't Adam tell Chelsea the truth? Was he afraid that she would want to return to Genoa City instead of staying in their idyllic Parisian love nest? Beats me! Personally I love this Adam. I would forgive him anything, just to see his smile. Chelsea has a little more resistance than I do.

I'm glad that Adam has been as truthful as he has been with Chelsea, but he needs to be all in with her if Adam ever really does hope to be a happy family with Chelsea and Connor. Chelsea said it best when she told Adam, "You would give me the world, but you refuse to give me the truth." (Sidebar: Now that Harding has proved to be a dirty cop, maybe they could pin Delia's death on him as well. He's in the perfect position to have framed Adam! LOL)

With the Scooby mystery coming to an end, I expect the next big reveal to be Adam's identity and the ensuing fallout. Peter Bergman appears to be having a blast playing the brutal, self-centered Marco, which must seem like a vacation after playing Jack, the ineffectual, perpetually second best to Victor.

The sudden shift in dynamic between Sage, Nick, Sharon, Dylan, and Faith has my head spinning. Sage and Sharon as new besties is both bizarre and appropriate, as is Faith's newfound acceptance of Nick's relationship with someone other than Sharon. At the moment, all of them are happy. Both women are pregnant, so they have something to bond over and help each other with. Sage will probably need a friend when Nick finds out that Sage knew that Gabe and Adam were the same person. Sharon is going to need a friend when Dylan joins the police department, which we know he will. Maybe with both Dylan and Paul on the job, the GCPD will seem less like the Keystone Kops and more like real crime stoppers. Since Dylan will be at the station with Paul, they can form more of a bond, and Dylan will be there to support Paul when nutty Patty returns.

It was nice to see Nikki stand up to Victor when she told him that she loved him but that she was not ready to return home. I was also glad to see Victor back off and not pressure her, even though that is what he had planned to do. I don't think it's right for Victor to keep Nikki in the dark about so many things, but I do think that he genuinely believes that he is doing it to protect her, and Victor really doesn't understand that it is his taciturn reticence that is the real problem in his marriage. Nikki is supposed to be his partner. Real partners share everything. After 30 years of an on-again, off-again relationship, both he and Nikki ought to know that. (P.S. -- Nikki has a problem in the "sharing everything" area, also, but I ragged on her before, so this time it's Victor's turn!)

It's nice to see Lauren and Michael working their way back to each other. Their separation was ridiculous from my point of view, but Michael was a little crazed by his cancer, and I haven't been in his shoes, so I'll just go with the flow. It seems like the split-up was just a device to let them romance each other and have their relations seem new all over again. That's fine by me. They make a great couple, and I can't imagine either of them with anyone else. If their budding "re-romance" gives them more screen time, then it's all thumbs-up for me.

Mariah has replaced Chloe as Kevin's sidekick and comic relief. Mariah has a ways to go yet to be as good as Chloe, but I like her, and she has been making me laugh. Mariah is plucky and not afraid to speak her mind, plus she looks like a real person, not a rail-thin anorexic. I like Kevin because he's a smart ass. Now that he has busted Harding, I wonder if Kevin will be promoted to detective. I can see it now. Kevin, Paul, and Dylan, hot on the heels of the criminals in Genoa City.

Abby is doing very well in the corporate department but not so well with her love life. She is in real danger of losing her boyfriend, Stitch, to her mother. Stitch does not have that good a track record with women. He is basically a rescuer who moves on after the damsel in distress is out of danger. Abby is trying to make it work, but eventually, I think their differences will drive them apart. I expect that Stitch will ultimately end up with Ashley. If that doesn't work out, then he's exhausted the dating pool and will have to leave Genoa City in search of other women who need rescuing.

In other Scooby news, Kyle and Summer are on cruise control, though Summer needs to be careful since recognizing Harding's ringtone. I'm not invested in this couple, but I do have to say that Summer is whining less, so maybe Kyle is good for her! They don't have much of a story, but Summer does have a very nice apartment for them to hang out in.

Other than the Harding reveal and the Devon/Hilary wedding, it was a slow summer week, so I won't bore you with repetition or stories about my failing, elderly cat -- a reminder of my own fading mortality, though not an unhappy one.

Until next time, dear readers, take care and remember that your imaginary friends will be waiting for you at Crimson Lights when next we meet for another session of Soapaholics Not-So-Anonymous.

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