It's my party and I'll open a can of Whoop-Ass if I want to
by Mike
For the Week of July 11, 2016
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B&B Two Scoops: It's my party and I'll open a can of Whoop-Ass if I want to
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Wyatt fired up the barbecue, Brooke was on the grill thanks to Brill, and Liam and Katie brought the fireworks. But that was nothing compared to Eric declaring his independence with Quinn as his Lady Liberty! Lift your lamps with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you bring your sexy back with the queen of black? Did you reach out and touch someone for reaching out and touching someone? Did you try to sharpen the edges of your triangle? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

Whatza haps, Scoopers! More than one story came to a head on our soap this week, but I can't quite decide if there were enough fireworks to go with them. I mean, Katie's been going off so much lately that her "I finally know the truth" meltdown seemed a little anticlimactic. But Liam sure found his huevos, didn't he? And OMG, Quinn seems to have found Eric's. Let's Scoop about it!

Quinn and Eric. Eric and Quinn. What. The. Hell. WHAT THE HELL?! Panning up a mystery leg and discovering Quinn's lover was none other than the Forrester patriarch was certainly a twist no one could have seen coming, and surely it succeeded for sheer shock value. Consider me shocked. But does this work on any level?

Last week, Eric spoke of his fascination with bad girls, pleasing me very much by mentioning his romances with Sheila, Sally, Jackie, and Donna. I love it when the show stops acting like everything that came before its current stories didn't exist. Not sure I'd group psycho Sheila in with Eric's other ladies, though. And it makes you wonder what a young Stephanie must have been like. She was probably a badder girl than all of 'em!

Poor Eric's been a widower for almost four years, and it's been three since his ill-advised involvement with Taylor tanked. The guy needs some love. His you-know-whats were probably bluer than his shirt. But Quinn? QUINN? This is the woman who held Aly over a second-story railing. Who slapped his precious Brooke around. And how many laws did Quinn break tormenting Liam? Eric, dude, you can't be that desperate.

Eric's experience with Sheila alone would be enough to permanently drive him toward women who don't have rap sheets. And he knows he shouldn't be sticking it to Quinn, because every time he does, he tells her to put U-Haul's number away. Yet he keeps going for it. How is Quinn able to slink onto the Forrester compound, anyway? Does she call Sheila for advice? (And Sheila's not dead; I don't care what you say.)

I'd have thought Eric would be red, white, and black and blue for the Fourth, but Quinn seems to have ditched her whips and chains after frolicking in her garden of Adam and Eve. You know what? I think it almost bothers me that Quinn's not still hung up on Liam! "Adam and Eve" were so wrong, but so intriguing, and now the show is hurtling further and further away from them. But that's not the only reason I just can't with Eric.

By the way, where's Deacon? Doesn't he live in Quinn's Roach Motel? What, does Quinn send Deacon to the movies when she wants to fandango with Forrester? I'm all for John McCook having a front-burner story -- I know B&B isn't As the World Turns, but the way they avoid doing multigenerational stories like theirs is criminal -- yet Eric is only concerned about Steffy's reaction. Like his entire brood won't be pissed?

Speaking of pissed people, I am taking my hat and anything else off for Scott Clifton, because this boy burned up my screen, making change out of Dollar Bill Spencer. Have you noticed that Liam is only interesting when he's not in a romance story? Liam caught Bill in his "napping room" with Brooke and let his daddy have it for dictating to Liam about respecting marriage while disrespecting his own. Pow!

"You hypocrite!" Liam seethed. And could you believe Bill? Defending his debauchery, trying to make Liam the bad guy! That's funny, because the only one who's on board with Bill's sidepiece romance with Brooke is Bill! Even Brooke isn't having it! I don't think I've ever seen Bill so delusional. "Show me how strong Spencer men are," Liam commanded. "Tell your wife the truth!" Liam, I needs mah smellin' salts.

Liam went straight to Brooke and, amazingly, didn't spend a whole episode dancing around the issue at hand like so many B&B characters do. (It's called filler, boys and girls. Or at least a wonky attempt at suspense.) "I know you two are having an affair," Liam stated, leaving Brooke to fill him in on Katie's 2016. I liked that. Too often groups of characters stay isolated on their own story islands. So the recap was refreshing.

Liam lost a little of his fire convincing Brooke to do the right thing, but he wasn't judgmental, either. He listened as Brooke presented her unconsummated side of the story ("Well, that's something," Liam conceded) but wouldn't let Brooke off the hook when she thought that maybe now there was nothing to tell. The two-episode sequence dragged on too long, but Sage-like Liam is more watchable than Pining Liam any day.

Then there was that party. It didn't feel very Fourth of July-y. Only a helicopter in the sky but no fireworks, only Steffy selfies displayed but no flags. Steffy can't be the face of social media for Spencer Publications -- she's the president of Forrester Creations! Did anyone in the writing room think that through? And Wyatt...soooo he being that drippy about Steffy because he knows he doesn't stand a chance with her?

I don't know what was more implausible: heart transplant recipient Katie wearing a low-cut bikini with no visible scar, or Steffy and Katie talking about getting ice out like they're besties. Given Katie's paranoia about Bill's wandering body parts, wouldn't Steffy be an in-your-face reminder? "I'm glad my son had the good sense to marry you," Bill told Steffy, right in front of Katie. That fire's "Still" burning, even five years on.

Yeah. Those speeches. Wasn't there a less obvious way to underscore the coming comeuppance with Brill than to have Bill and Katie yapping about their love at a party? (Even Thomas snarked, "Here we go again," when Katie went for Round Two.) If I wasn't honor-bound to Scoop for you, I'd have fast-forwarded through those scenes. Steffy playing with her beach ball was more interesting.

For all that, Bill excused himself from Thomas and Caroline's dubious appearance ("Let's not talk about this here," Caroline hissed when Thomas inevitably brought up being Douglas' father) and Pam's why-are-they-here lemon bars to call Brooke and ask why she wasn't partying with him, literally and figuratively. Then Katie overheard him addressing Brooke. Bill clammed up. Katie went nuts.

Why didn't Bill just say from the get-go that he was calling to find out why Brooke hadn't accepted Katie's invitation? And why was Bill's call the "Katie-lyst" for Katie's meltdown? "Don't you think that was my job?" Katie asked regarding checking in with Brooke, which was enough for Katie to dramatically pour herself a drink (why not lower the risk of detection by grabbing a half-consumed tequila?) and sullenly roam the beach.

I thought for a moment Katie was going to do that famous scene from the old film Humoresque, where Joan Crawford ends it all by walking into the ocean. Katie was getting so whiny, I almost wished she'd do it. Instead, she hoofed all the way to Liam's. I know Wyatt's beach house and Liam's cliff house are both in Malibu, but that beachfront berg stretches on for miles. And did Katie have to scale Liam's cliff?

This sounds salacious, but a Katie/Liam hookup would've been interesting. Both disillusioned with Bill, both lonely; B&B folks have crawled into bed with far less provocation. Instead, Katie got all pathetic and blamed herself for everything. I'm not saying Brooke and Bill haven't played a part in Katie's misery, but Katie needs to take some responsibility for her own insecurity. I'm as insecure as the day is long. I know.

Liam evading Katie's constant requests for info about Bill and Brooke should have told her everything she needed to know. Meanwhile, Brooke, the rape victim who still doesn't bolt her doors, was actually surprised when Bill waltzed into her kitchen. "We are one!" Bill insisted. I think he isn't so much interested in a happily-ever-after with Brooke as he is with getting to call all the shots with her. And everyone else.

No, Brooke wanted to confront Katie alone, though Bill's suggestion of bringing in Katie's therapist wasn't a bad idea. (Why B&B didn't make hunky Dr. Hayden a major player in all this, I'll never know.) Brooke headed for Katie's safe haven at Liam's while Bill blasted his son for being the guy "who changes his relationships more than I change my underwear!" (What can I say, Bill...when you're right, you're right.)

Meanwhile, Wyatt got that the wonderful brother-sister team of Thomas and Steffy (Pierson Fodť and Jacqueline MacInnes Wood are awesome together) were talking about Liam, fortunately not hearing Thomas tell Steffy she regretted marrying Wyatt. But Wyatt seemed more interested in sneaking off to visit his mother, repeating for the zillionth time that Quinn shouldn't go near the Forresters.

It's all being set up so Steffy will go ballistic hearing about Quinn and Eric getting their freak on. To say nothing of Liam deciding not to live up to Bill's ideal anymore. Wait: so Liam's going to disrespect marriage now just because Bill did? Liam pulling Steffy into a kiss was supposed to be romantic, but I think it's just boring. Anything Leffy is just so 2011 to me. I guess we're going to roll with this all summer.

Brooke and Katie, however, partied like it was 2013. Ironic, isn't it? The first Brill exposure happened at Brooke's birthday party that year, and this latest one is happening just after a party, both in July. Katie went around in her usual circle, wanting to know again if the Logan sisters were husband sharing. This time, Brooke sucked it up and uttered two simple words: "I'm sorry." "Oh, my God," Katie gasped. Finally!

All this Brill brouhaha has done far too much meandering, and we shouldn't have taken over six months to get here with that little development. Where it went wrong was Bill deciding to have an affair moments after pledging to leave Katie for Brooke. Granted, Brill didn't boink this time, and Brooke showed more maturity than perhaps ever before. I just wanted to see Brill completely innocent, with Katie acting out. Really acting out.

I wish we'd not done the alcohol arc. Just let Katie get all afraid and maybe cheat on Bill before he could do it to her. But here we are; I'm just glad it's finally out in the open. I thought Brooke would get more of a chance to say her piece, but Katie interrupted with another long diatribe. All Brooke said was, "I'm sorry." Katie was acting as if Brooke and Bill had done it on the floor in front of her.

What I did like, in addition to Katie's more subdued, resolute reaction, was the thought and detail the writers put into it. "When did she first show up?" Katie asked of the blonde character she felt Brooke had always played. "High school? After Dad left? Following your heart from man to man is no way to deal with it!" Katie pulled a Taylor with her diagnosis, but maybe this is truly why Brooke is the way she is.

B&B even took their history lesson all the way back to Day One by having Katie mention Dave, the cop Brooke dated when the show started in 1987! Most viewers know Brooke romanced Eric, Thorne, Deacon, and Nick as well as Ridge, but the show even brought up the long-forgotten James and Grant. Maybe they've been reading my character profiles! That kind of history-nodding really hits my soapy sweet spot. Kudos!

Instead of blowing up at Brooke like a Fourth of July firecracker, Katie calmly said she would never forgive Bill (nor should she, and she shouldn't have remarried him, either, knowing he's a pig). Katie understood why Liam's mother (that's the late Kelly Cooper, in case you're wondering) and Quinn kept their boys away from Bill, growing up. Will was going to be scratching Father's Day off his calendars, too. Go, Katie!

Then Katie actually hugged Brooke and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek, saying she'd always remember the best things about her older sister, but that it was goodbye. With that, Katie walked out, and Brooke bawled. Was it wise for Brooke to let Katie wander off alone like that? There was a veiled suicide threat there. No matter; at least Katie's heart didn't give out. We're making progress!

Yet I couldn't help feeling that the Logan sisters' confrontation was missing something. How 'bout you, Scoopers? Should Katie take Bill to the cleaners? Are you feeling Liam's renewed pursuit of Steffy? And are Quinn and Eric too much good stuff, or just too much? Let us know in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

• "This show needs one thing: Hope. Give Liam a flashback of seeing his brother and Steffy in bed after his Aussie flight and bring back the girl who not only cared for him but who will drive Wyatt and Steffy nuts with jealousy. Hope would also be good for Brooke who needs another focus other than Bill and Katie, especially since Brooke is so good with Eric." -- Amber

• "Reads like someone isn't [fond] of the Liam Don't think writers care if one feels sorry for a character or not." -- "Blink" (COLUMNIST'S NOTE: I actually like Liam...I just think he's boring in triangles!)

• "It's interesting there is so much controversy over the Caroline/Thomas storyline, yet nary a mention of Quinn's & Liam's. I guess the old double standard still applies, right? Had that been Deacon who kidnapped Steffy or Ivy (suffering from amnesia & a severe concussion), soap fans would be outraged & would consider it a rape. Liam had zero memory of who he was when Quinn held him & duped him into believing she was his wife, Eve. That was not romance; that was rape. Rape/sexual assault has been sorely whitewashed by writers which is extremely irresponsible. It reminds me of how Luke & Laura's 'supercouple' status was a lie. Those who watch GH remember Luke raped a 17-year-old Laura on the gym floor in high school." -- Kathy

Actually, Kathy, that was on the floor of a disco, but yeah, soaps have romanticized rape more often than not. Blake raped Krystle in the first season of Dynasty but that got glossed over in a similar way to Luke and Laura. I guess what's causing the controversy is people's differing definitions of "rape" when force isn't involved. If nothing else, B&B's unfortunate backpedaling with Thomas and Caroline has us talking about what "consent" really means; perhaps it'll help get us all on the same page.

That's one major Point to Ponder. Here are a few minor ones:

It's one thing for Wyatt to call Bill principled, because he wasn't there when Bill actively campaigned against Hope and locked Katie in a tower to keep her from revealing his misdeeds. But Liam was there. So how can Liam talk about having respected Bill's judgment?... Katie flashed back to Brill's recent curtain kiss, but she couldn't, since she didn't witness that event...

So now Alison is Will's babysitter? Who's running Spencer with all of its figureheads running amok?... Did Wyatt actually offer to kiss Thomas? I'd have paid to see that... "Have fun with Will," Brooke said to Katie when begging off the party. That would be quite a feat, considering Will wasn't anywhere near the festivities... "It has to come from you," Liam told Brooke, regarding the Brill spill. Interesting, considering moments before, Liam tasked Bill with giving Katie the 4-1-1!

Chanel's gonna bring you the Scoops next week, so I'll see you in two. Come follow me on Twitter, and thanks as always for checking out my special brand of columnizing. Things are finally moving on B&B, so keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.

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