Hurricane Bill

by Mike

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Was your favorite song Like A Virgin? Did you want to buy more than roses to make up with your wife? Did you almost take a bath in it -- literally? These and more situations faced the Forresters et al this week!

Alert the media! Was that Brooke and Taylor being civil to each other? Yes! Well, for five seconds, anyway, given they each are family to someone who stood to get hurt by Bill's philandering. Their mutual concern went well until they got into their own touchy history. "If this were anyone else," Brooke pointed out, "you'd be calling them a homewrecker. Or something worse." Like a sexual predator, maybe? There was an opportunity there for Taylor to apologize to Brooke, but not surprisingly, Taylor didn't take it.

Taylor did, however, observe that they both know what it's like when a man is in love with two women. But then Taylor got defensive like she always does. Oh, well. It is a rather charged situation...and anything that doesn't involve them fighting over Ridge (or Thomas!) is all right with me.

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Katie gave it to Bill with both barrels! It's always a joy to watch Heather Tom gnaw on a meaty scene like a pit bull with a bone (and that's a compliment, by the way!) When Bill whined about being walked out on, Katie reminded him of her own abandonment issues and said he walked out on her every time he touched Steffy! She wasn't a wallflower anymore (nice nod to Nancy Sloan's '80s Katie) and she would decide if Bill came back -- and things would change if he did! Whoo! Love me some strong Katie making change with Dollar Bill! (Okay, couldn't help that one.)

But B&B is missing a major story beat here. Katie did sleep with Nick a few years ago while he was involved with Bridget. Some fans say Katie has this one coming. I don't know about that, but I do know it would have been awesome to see Katie own what she did and tell Bill he's as wrong now as she was then. Katie shouldn't have to pay for that sin forever, but for the show to pretend she didn't commit it makes her claiming she has the "honesty, integrity, and loyalty" Steffy doesn't hypocritical.

Still, Bill took his lumps -- and, given the "should I stay or should I go" choice, he stayed, telling Katie he loved her for being the one woman to challenge him. Huh? See, this is where Dollar Bill is losing me. In one breath he declares his love to Katie, and in the next he declares it to Steffy. Now, Ridge had years (make that decades!) to perfect his waffling. Bill may have flirted with Steffy after marrying Katie, but up until a few months ago, he was very clear that Katie was the one for him. Now we're supposed to believe he's also moved into the Waffle House? I don't think so -- and Ridge will always have him beat in that department, no matter what, anyway!

At least with Ridge, it was never about having some on the side -- which is how it looks for Bill despite how genuine he says his feelings for Steffy are. I don't actually think he used Steffy, as Ridge does, but you can't create a viable relationship out of a year and a half of innuendos and a few weeks of hot and heavy non-sex. Yet there was Steffy, flinging her arms around Bill and yapping about having kids with him! Oh, dear, the girl's delusional. The foreshadowing that she was chopping onions wasn't lost on me! Because the tears came once Bill told Steffy he was returning to Katie.

You know, in the past, my complaint about Steffy was that she was one-dimensional. Not anymore! She's finally being written with some layers (like her onion), and Jacqueline MacInnes Wood is playing them. I still don't really feel bad for Steffy, but when she's not cocky and condescending, she's actually more human. Was Steffy truly concerned for Katie's health? Hard to say. But she was adamant she was only being ditched because of Katie's heart attack -- until Bill told her "you've gotta stop hearing what you want to hear."

This is where Bill's motivation again gets murky. He affirms his love for Katie, then implies it's because he doesn't know how long Katie has. Then he tells Steffy he can't be with her "as much as I love you"? No wonder Steffy slapped him! But her immaturity really showed when she demanded he not say he loved his wife and bewailed that he wasn't the Bill Spencer she loved! Obviously she loves her fantasy Bill more than the real one! "I know what we have is true!" she cried. True? Has she been reading those romance novels Nick said Jackie left behind at the condo?

But if Jacqueline MacInnes Wood was on fire, Don Diamont was an inferno. His intensity when Bill put his foot down really made him the grown-up, and his vulnerability while admitting he made promises he couldn't keep showed that big bad Bill was willing to admit a mistake. And lo, did he also finally admit that plotting to kill Amber was a mistake? Hard to tell because that part of the conversation was a bit convoluted, but Dollar Bill Spencer saying he was wrong is not something you see every day.

Did Steffy learn a trick or two when she was kidnapped by crazy Morgan as a baby? Because as soon as Bill left, she went medieval, chucking what I'm sure were Jackie's old belongings all over the room. Cleanup on aisle ten! I guess that wasn't a good time for Hope to visit. I kind of got why Hope came over the first time: she wanted Steffy to respect Bill's marriage to Katie. Heck, Steffy even admitted Hope was lucky to have Liam. But was Hope's second visit necessary? Probably not. It did seem like she was being a busybody at that point. However, if she hadn't popped by a second time, we would have missed one of the best B&B scenes in recent memory. It looked like Steffy was going to attack Hope! I'm kinda sorry she didn't! We're overdue a real knock-down, kick-ass catfight.

Steffy's cold, dangerous glare wasn't enough to stop Hope from entreating Steffy to put a stop to the Forrester/Logan rivalry. Hope wanted to start over -- and for one brief moment, it seemed like Steffy wanted to as well, crying to Hope that it wasn't that simple. But then we got to the heart of it -- Steffy screamed about how Brooke's actions affected her, reminding Hope that Deacon is her father while Steffy's father is Ridge. "You're not a Forrester!" Steffy snarled. "You don't even belong at Forrester Creations!"

This would have been a good time for Hope to point out that Steffy isn't a Forrester, either (wish somebody would!), but Hope took the high road, standing firm in continuing to refer to Ridge as "Dad." Speaking of whom, I thought most of the Ridge/Steffy scenes were sweet, but how creepy was it when Ridge tried to empathize with Steffy feeling abandoned, and Steffy piped up, "I was abandoned." How does she figure? What does Ridge need to do -- get rid of absolutely everybody else in his life (including Taylor!) and devote all his time to her? Wanting Daddy to herself at this age is more than a little twisted -- although it explains her rage at Bill's own waffling.

Hope, meanwhile, had history of her own to contend with. I admit I was scratching my head when her Hope For The Future speech talked about sexual responsibility. I mean, what does that have to do with a fashion line? Unless there was supposed to be a link between that and short skirts. No, methinks Steffy's words about Brooke's misdeeds got to Hope, because her vow to Liam that she "didn't want to continue the legend of Brooke Logan" rang clear. Perhaps holding off on sex completely might be overkill (let's not forget it was withholding from Oliver that contributed to the mask-boink), but goodness knows the denizens of B&B could all benefit from learning a little sexual responsibility.

Will cold showers be enough to keep Liam at bay? (Oh no he didn't say it was "very hard" to be patient!) Not that there isn't already enough testosterone flying around Spencer Publications. Ridge made a beeline for an unsurprised Bill, calling him out for the affair with Steffy. Finally, after months of absence, the Dollar Bill I missed was back in da house. The one-liners came fast and furious, but he owned his mistake and tried to assure Ridge he regretted hurting Steffy.

I, for one, have to say it's great to see Ridge in a storyline that doesn't involve his love life. Though Bill was certainly quick to bring it up! He echoed Taylor's remarks that Ridge should know what it's like to be in love with two women. And when Bill said it was Ridge who tore Steffy's life apart, Ridge clocked him! Loved Bill's layers there -- you could see the wheels turning as he dearly wanted to hit back, but instead snarked, "It must run in the family." Seems like Ridge punches someone every other month, but by Bill's own admission, Bill deserved it.

Still, shouldn't have done that. Even Brooke seemed to sense that Bill would retaliate as she and Ridge argued about Steffy's part in things. Ridge certainly does have a blind spot when it comes to his daughter, denying Brooke's accurate observation that Steffy did the chasing. See -- now this is how to give them conflict; something internal. Could have done without the silly hide-and-seek make-up game, though. The taint of the berries isn't far enough behind us yet!

Things were a little calmer at Casa Marone, if not saner. Jackie and Owen cavorting in Nick's living room, with Jackie cooing to her son that she's not used to wearing clothes all day? I love Jackie, but this non-boundary stuff with Owen has to stop. They have no storyline, and even their flashbacks only cover libidinous memories. These people can totally afford their own place! Jackie swooned to Owen about their "most perfect beautiful life" -- in soap lingo that can only mean there's something serious around the corner. I hope so! Watching them drool on each other every time they appear has gotten old!

Even Nick thinks they need to get back to Jackie M business. And apparently, that's what Bill has on his mind, too, since he offered to buy the faltering company for Katie! I totally called it! Back in a January Scoop, I was trying to dream up some fresh storylines and one of them was "Bill, still looking for a way to stick it to Forrester, buys the struggling Jackie M from Nick...Katie is made CEO." Hey, Brad Bell -- a credit would be nice!

But isn't it interesting to see Bill and Nick team up against Forrester? It really plays on Nick's own history with half-brother Ridge and it's a most intriguing twist. Bill does own Forrester stock, but now, rather than regain control of the design house, he wants to destroy it! That defuses the ticking time bomb of Steffy's stock and whether or not she'd give it to Bill, doesn't it!

I thought it was weird when Bill wanted Liam to return Steffy's key. Don't these people have FedEx? Why involve Liam in it? Oh -- because Steffy knocked herself out in Jackie's bathtub, and Liam needs to be there to save her from her Final Destination! (See? I managed to work Jacqueline MacInnes Woods's new movie in there. Two points for me!)

Speaking of points, you guys made some really good ones:

    • "I think Thorne should be brought back along with [Felicia]. I think they should bring back the [rivalry] between Forrester and Jackie [M]...look into an hour show and bring back Deacon...get away from Ridge and Brooke. Bring back some spice and take away some sex." -- Phyllis

    • "I'm in full agreement about those high quality music cues, especially the ones underlining Bill's passion for [Steffy]. They are just wonderful...but I agree [the exterior shots] are overused and interrupt the pacing of the show." -- Yvonne

    • "Tell me please when Ridge will be made accountable for all the pain he has [caused], much less Brooke...I was really hoping that Bill and Katie might become at least one couple with morals. Oh well!" -- Mary Anne

    • "I love your column...we definitely think along the same lines. Also loved [your "Generation X" video] and it was great to put a face with your name. PS Hope is not adopted but should be and should go by Forrester! " -- Lori

    • "You know, the only actual Forrester grandkid is Ally. So have her grow up [and] rail Taylor for offing her mother. And no [repercussions] for Stephanie lying to nice." -- Loren

    • "I like [that] the shares are an issue among Thorne and Felicia...Thomas seems to work, but Steffy has no redeeming value at Forrester. I'd like to see the elder Forrester kids go after Steffy and show that she's unfit...Yes, give Nick a purpose, and not with Brooke or Taylor, those ships have sailed." -- Kathi

    • "[They] should never have [broken] up Whip and Taylor...Ridge don't love her and she really needs to feel like a fool. I don't like [Dayzee] because she dropped Marcus for Thomas and she really don't deserve Marcus now and neither does that crazy Amber." -- Ruth

    • "Great column! When things end with Bill and Steffy, I wouldn't mind seeing her get together with Oliver. That would keep him around and give him story. I would also like to see Bridget, Rick, Thorne, and Felicia back on-screen more. We haven't seen them in FOREVER." -- Jimmy

    • "It is a crying shame what the writers have done to Bill. Yes he has always been nasty and shady, but his honest true love for Katie (then Liam) made him human and likable. [Now] the wannabe baby killer and the panty-dancing criminal don't inspire me. I just get nauseous watching them." -- "mmm"

    • "Stephanie should be able to change the trustee on her will from Taylor to say Stephanie should have to pay back Brooke for all the money she put into her foundation." -- Jimmy

Feel free to make more points on current and future storylines! I've got my own in Points to Ponder:

"You should have gone to Ridge right away," Brooke told Taylor. Brooke's own track record for going to Ridge with things hasn't been all that great!... Was Taylor really still wearing that nondescript purple blouse from two weeks ago?... Ridge sympathized that Steffy turned to Bill for affection -- kind of a strange analogy, considering Ridge is her father... Steffy wasn't wrong that Katie recovered fast (less than a day!), but then suggsted that Katie should control her stress. Gee, maybe if you weren't macking on her husband she wouldn't be so stressed, Steffy!

Bill's observation that he and Steffy have a history of being drawn to each other and then hurting each other was very astute... "I am never gonna put myself through this again," Steffy swore. Didn't she say something similar after putting herself through things with Rick?... Why would Oliver even want to be friends with Steffy after she chased him and blackmailed him? "It'll get better," he comforted. Yeah, but it's only been a few hours!... Why does Bill have a framed photo of himself in his office?... Wasn't it interesting that he threatened to break Ridge's fingers considering they're Ridge's livelihood? Best line of the week: "So it was a one-day-only Punch Dollar Bill In The Face Sale."

Look! A design! Remember those?... Ridge and Brooke are back together, but as what? Are they single? Or were they able to have the divorce nullified?... How cool that Bill apologized to Nick for punching him out... Intriguing that Nick's not interested in hurting Brooke but also seems to still have feelings for Katie... Hope was right to point out that everyone believed Stephanie's lie because of Brooke's reputation, but failed to mention how the mask-boink with Oliver might be influencing her decision to stay a virgin. Maybe Oliver's new hair distracted her!

So, are we finally getting back to fashion? Is Steffy poised to become the new Sheila? It was a good week and thank the soap gods the show is getting better and that Hurricane Bill is churning things up! Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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