Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you officially take Like A Virgin off your playlist? Did you decide to make yourself an extra piece of carry-on luggage? Were you finally able to look forward without looking back? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Avant clan this week!
How's it hangin', Scoopers? B&B expanded its focus these past five episodes and explored several different stories instead of narrowing in on just one. While each comes with its own plusses and minuses, there was an astonishing level of detail that made me all soapy inside. And thank the soap gods, not a single flashback all week! Just Quinn's fantasy! Can you believe it? Let's Scoop about it!
Nicole, Zende, and the shoes he's stuck photographing showed up on my screen, and it was like no time had passed, because they were still yapping about how Nicole's hesitation kept Zende from shooting Sasha in her skivvies. Maybe new or casual viewers need the reminder, but yawn. And we had to rehash Zencole's breakup: how Zende couldn't handle Nicole's pregnancy. Must be easy lines to memorize.
Then Sasha slinked by looking all butt-hurt, and Nicole graciously agreed she'd try to get her new half-sis in front of the camera in her underwear after all. Which would be fine if it wasn't a retread of Nicole changing her mind about Sasha being Zende's model in the first place. Left alone, Sasha mooned over Zende to the point he advised her not to worry about where he and Nicole were going on their mystery date.
Word up, Z-Man! There's only one way Sasha's story can go right now, and that's having her mama Lucy come to town to stir up trouble for Julius and Vivienne. Wouldn't that be great, getting Debbi Morgan or Tamara Tunie or even Shari Headley in there -- and if the woman Julius fooled around with is off her rocker? If Sasha can dip a stick into someone else's pee, imagine the cray-cray Lucy could bring to the table.
It was such a nice touch when Nicole guessed Zende was flying her to Vegas, and Zende joked, "I don't make it a habit to recreate dates you had with Spencer men," of course referring to Nicole's fly in the sky with Wyatt. The show was full of moments like that, from Thomas reminiscing about meeting Caroline's moms to Zende describing what his childhood in Africa was like before his parents succumbed to AIDS. More please!
So for some reason, Nicole wanted to gussy up for Zende's big date at her parents' motel room (why are they still living there?), but it was worth it for Julius telling the hovering Viv "if [Nicole] can have a baby on her own, she can have a burger on her own" and teaching his estranged wife some golf moves in an effort to reconnect with her. We need to see more of that, and Lucy coming in to mess up that reconnection.
Zende decided to cater a French feast for Nicole at the Forrester manse (because having the scowling Stephanie staring down at you really sets the mood), making a nice speech about giving yourself to the things you love. "I give myself to you," Zende panted, but Nicole laundry listed her entire L.A. history before he could. At dinner, she beamed that Zende had "made her full."
Well, he would have, if she hadn't gone back over her pregnancy and their breakup again. No wonder it's taken these kids a year to get to bed. After they finally made some sweet, sweet love, Zencole's afterglow included even more talk talk talk. Guys, your stretched-out story could fill a thimble. Can we stop running our mouths and move on already? Hopefully taking their relationship to the next level will facilitate that.
Have you noticed that Maya is conspicuously absent from all Avant proceedings? Here we made such a big deal about how Maya being transgender wouldn't preclude her from having the everyday storylines her cisgender counterparts have, but she's never around anymore. And I still don't buy that Nicole feels no biological urges where baby Lizzie is concerned, but I go on too much about that.
Thomas, however, asked if infant cousins Lizzie and Douglas had met yet, which was more awesome attention to detail. Ridge is apparently letting Thomas bunk in his old loft. Everyone on this show must have post office boxes, otherwise their mail would get lost given they move so often. Thomas gushed over having unlimited access to his son, and something in Pierson Fodé's warmth this week was definitely giving me "the feels."
Caroline was havin' 'em, too, to the point she was jealous when Thomas split to make good on dinner plans with va-va-voom Veronica. Even Ridge knew that Caroline and Thomas loved each other. So I guess that means CaRidge is over. And that sucks, because they were truly fiyah when they first started. Now they haven't even had a scene together since Ridge overheard Thomas asking Caroline to be a family.
Indeed, Ridge has been hanging around Brooke a lot lately. Have we finally decided to give Bridge a do-over now that Thorsten Kaye has been playing the formerly chiseled designer nearly three years? Even though Ronn Moss was the Ridge that Brooke had history with, that history was palpable as TK's Ridge reflected with his one-time "destiny."
There was a great bonus scene where Ridge and Brooke talked about their first meeting, with Ridge getting details about Brooke's then paramour Dave wrong. How is it so many of those scenes are better than what airs? Chanel put more stock in these extras last week than I will, because I don't consider bonus scenes canonical. That is to say, if it doesn't officially air, I don't count it. Even if the clips are usually pretty damn good.
I glowed with giddy excitement when Ridge declared that he and Brooke are "the leaders of this clan," because that's exactly what they are. Whether Bridge reunites or never does, Brooke and Ridge have taken the place of Stephanie and Eric. I would include Taylor in that, too, though I would guess she doesn't even know that she has a new grandchild in Douglas. That's one detail the show missed.
For some reason, I've been watching old episodes on YouTube recently, the ones where Brooke took over Forrester Creations after the Forresters tried to bilk her out of ownership of the BeLieF formula she created. (Can't Brooke be a chemist again?) I really enjoyed watching Strong Brooke, and we got another taste of her this week as she suddenly battled to put Will back in Katie's arms.
But was Strong Brooke misplaced? There was much hand wringing about Bill having kidnapped his son with Katie. However, I just don't see that. I know Bill is a pig, and I'm certainly not a mother so I can't get onto that wavelength, but I found myself Team Bill on this one. Katie has been erratic and unreliable, and you can hardly blame Bill for wanting to shield Will from her alcoholic binges.
Granted, part of Bill's decision to abscond with Will was her threat to do the same; in true Bill fashion, he decided to strike first. Not the healthiest rationale, though I still think he did the right thing taking Will out of the equation until Katie can get her act together. Yet, presumably out of her own guilt, Brooke decided she needed to reunite that family. Are you kidding? That family was over before Katie and Bill divorced the first time.
At least Brooke backtracked and added that the beleaguered Spencers didn't need to live under the same roof. Too bad Katie didn't do the same, instead agreeing with Brooke's summation that Bill had driven her to the bottle. Brooke must be skipping her A.A. meetings, or she'd never imply that anyone else was responsible for Katie's drinking. Katie has a disease, and no one poured that booze down her throat.
I'm also not liking this suggestion that Katie was going out of her mind and/or that Brooke and Bill's sort-of affair was driving her to it. Katie has been insecure since her first appearance in the '80s; Brooke and Bill were wrong for their 2013 dalliance, but Katie was a fool for remarrying him and should have been cleaning up her own side of the street instead of blaming Brooke for everything. Katie was rolling like Taylor!
Anyway, Bill caved, and Will indeed went running into Katie's waiting arms after Katie promised never, ever to drink again. Yeah, why don't I believe her? As for Brooke scornfully telling Bill "I will never look at you the same way after this," that's what she said after he seduced control of Spencer Publications from Katie and Brooke replaced his damning contract with a pile of leaves from Aspen. I've heard this all before.
What I haven't heard before is this hoopla over the Spencer Summit. Bill supposedly headlines it every year, but you'd never know from having watched the show. His hands full with Katie, Bill tasked new golden boy Wyatt to host in his place along with social media sensation Steffy. And Liam had better go, too. Just what this triangle needs: a location shoot. Because those did so much to enhance Leffy/Lope and Lope/Hott.
Before Steffy could figure out her itinerary -- or why the president of a fashion house is the image of a publishing conglomerate -- she caught "Vladimir Smirnoff" in Eric's office. What, did Quinn get the idea Googling Sally Spectra after Eric mentioned the diva? Sally was the queen of Forrester-infiltrating disguises, and Quinn can't compare. Steffy snatched Quinn's Russian rug off her head and about got the Cold War going again.
Steffy's not my favorite character, but I do love it when she puts her high-heeled foot down and channels Gangsta Grandma Stephanie. It's so much better than watching Steffy channel Liam and his constipated Waffle King look. Steffy wanted Eric to kick Quinn's Soviet ass out, and his hesitation should have told Steffy that something was up. Because Stephanie would have picked up on that in a second. Keep trying, Steffy.
Let's explore how Eric can even be in that CEO chair. I agree he never should have been out of it; think of the Ridge/Rick dogfighting we'd have been spared. But check it: Ridge, Steffy, Thomas, and Bill (with Liam as proxy) had to pool their combined 62.5% share in Forrester to end Rick's reign as CEO last year. That means Eric, with 37.5%, is a minority stockholder. And therefore has no power to become CEO himself!
Yet everyone went along with it, even Ridge, who sulked for two seconds before getting on board -- though I suspect Rick is off somewhere, scheming how to Krazy Glue his pop to something so he can take control again. Moving on, the decision was made that Eric should speak at the Spencer Summit and announce being CEO again in part to deflect from the eventual media focus on Douglas' paternity.
I'm not sure I get it. Ridge said the family knew Thomas was Douglas' dad and the world was next -- why would the world care? Whatever goes on at Versace or Tommy Hilfiger or Tom Ford, it only matters to scandal sheets and sites; the rest of us really couldn't give a crap. It's a silly storyline facet. So Eric hopped the Spencer jet (!) to Monte Carlo, but only after finger-wagging Quinn for her attempt at glasnost.
Wyatt tsk-tsked his mother as well, but Steffy and Liam are right: giving Quinn talking-tos doesn't ever help. Wyatt has his head so far up his butt these days he can see what he had for lunch yesterday; he of all people should recall that Quinn stalked Hope the way she's stalking Steffy now, which resulted in the loss of his son. Wyatt knows that Quinn once stowed away to Paris to make sure he replaced Liam as Hope's groom.
So what does this fool do? Pop off that Eric is going to the Spencer Summit. Of course, Wyatt doesn't know that his mom is shagging his wife's grandpa (eww), but Quinn's triple-mention of Eric and her eyes bugging open should easily betray her connection to the Forrester patriarch to the seasoned Wyatt. Mr. Fuller is so on my nerves these days. He's all Steffy, all the time, to the point nothing else pings on his radar.
At least Eric's dubious inclusion in this dubious event put Liam in his orbit; John McCook and Scott Clifton are such jokesters, their characters have an easy rapport that's fun to watch. But then Liam had to go off again about Wyatt living his life because of Quinn. Thankfully, Liam finally alluded to Steffy's relationship-ending cuddle with Wyatt, positive Eric was thinking, "You guys were kind of on the rocks anyway." Finally!
Liam wondered how Quinn would retaliate against Steffy for banning her from anything Forrester-Spencer. That's an intriguing prospect, though it makes me think of Aly similarly going off on Steffy just a year ago this week. (RIP, Aly. Ain't nobody else gonna mention you.) Eric also knows that Quinn won't stay away and that she dunked Ivy in France, so telling the jewelry jailbird about his trip probably wasn't his smartest idea.
Predictably, Quinn jumped on Trivago to book herself a flight to Monaco, recruiting Deacon as her assistant travel agent. First off, Quinn bitched about having to hole up in a dumpy motel, so how can she afford a flight to Monaco, which by my check is $1600, on such short notice? And what happened to her apartment above Quinn Artisan Jewelers? Did she shut down? She has her own business; she doesn't need Eric's job.
I can't for the life of me make sense of Deacon continually showing up at Quinn's. "Yeah, baby, you tried to kill me by pushing me off a cliff; that's hot." Sean Kanan is far too sexy and capable to be cast as Quinn's lackey. Give this man his own story! And Rena Sofer is da bomb, but Quinn has outlived her usefulness at this point. She's doing nothing to make things up to Liam, instead obsessing on Eric. At least she's consistent?
So, up next is Leffy/Weffy and Queric amok in the streets of Monte Carlo. I know it makes logistical sense to snap up fictional footage while B&B snaps up the city's Golden Nymph Award, but we just had Brooke and Bill there in 2014, plus Wyatt and Hope. Can't we go somewhere else? I'd even welcome Italy again. Hmm. What will Steffy fall off of this time? She didn't even need Quinn to push her. Until now!
Whatcha thinkin', Scoopers? Share your own opinions about where the show is or should be in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!
• "I'd love for them to put Katie and Liam together. I think they'd make a great couple and it would totally piss Dollar Bill off to no end." -- ReneeLet's really go the Full Monty with some Points to Ponder!
• "If Quinn has a baby, I will gag, she has a son who is like 30, right?...If Quinn has Eric's baby, [I hope] she leapfrogs over a few heads and becomes, oh yes, THE MATRIARCH! LOL that would be funny. Rick would wet himself daily." -- Lily
• "Eric is just a horny old man. Quinn is jumping him because she wants the name of Forrester & of course money! Can't stand Quinn!" -- Rose
Seeing Zencole dining in the Forrester living room sure made me miss the Café Russe. But Nicole didn't close the door upon entering -- so unless one of the servants did, the door was ajar the entire time Nicole was getting devirginized upstairs. At least no one made a big deal out of Nicole having her first time. When Hope had hers, it was practically on the six o'clock news!
"You Logan girls stick together," Bill conceded. Except Donna's been nowhere to be seen all through Katie's latest crisis. And Bill only backed out of the Spencer Summit because of the battle over Will. Now that it's resolved, Wyatt and Liam don't even have to go... "Maybe you should take pictures of me actually working," Steffy suggested. "Do you think we're overselling this?" You said it, girl -- I didn't!
That's all I've got for ya this time around. Hope you enjoyed it -- share the column with your fellow B&B fans and don't forget to follow me on Twitter (why should Steffy be the only social media queen? LOL). It's The Spencers Go to Monte Carlo, so keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!
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