Where the wild things are

by Tony
For the Week of March 4, 2013
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DAYS Two Scoops: Where the wild things are
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Salem was filled with a rowdy bunch last week! A nefarious Nick tried to strong-arm a worried Will into signing over rights to his daughter while a spirited Sami was left to take the blame. Cougar Kate kept sniffing around her prey. Cunning Chloe and an annoyed Abigail cat fought! Queen of the jungle, Kristen, landed her latest trophy. Sonny took a walk on the wild side. Learn all the rules of the jungle in this week's Two Scoops!

Wowza! Things got a little wild in Salem last week, didn't they? There were more catty comments slung than Chloe has inappropriately short dresses. Fur flew in a saucy catfight. And you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting someone pissed off at Sami. Yep, things were wild. So, grab a leopard print loincloth and some jungle juice, and let's discuss which of Salem's wild things should roam free and which ones should be caged!

Let's start in a happy place. Sonny read Will's heartfelt note. Will got a bit confused, as the lad often does. And then Sonny made it clear to Will that he wanted him back. Yes, Will, that means you're together again!

I'm thrilled that Sonny and Will are a "Wilson" once more, especially considering that Will confessed about shooting E.J. I enjoy it when couples are on the same page, even if that page reads like the tabloids (SEE: EJami). More so, Sonny and Will finally feel right, and I think that has a lot to do with Sonny getting his groove back. Um, perhaps just getting his groove, but I digress. I liked the version of Sonny I saw last week. I liked him a lot.

However, I'd say Will and Sonny don't have any secrets left, but Sonny does have one lingering. In fact, said secret could actually help Will right now. Methinks it time for Sonny to go completely Kiriakis and use what he knows to get Nick to back off. Nick may not be intimidated by Lucas and Sonny strolling into a room with Will, but he might have a change of heart if Sonny strolls in with Justin and Victor. Sure, it may stir up a hornet's nest for Chad, but you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

Besides, I have a feeling Chadsworth would understand. He hates Gabi enough, and it could be considered payback for outing Will's baby daddy secret at the non-wedding. Plus, Chad hasn't been doing much lately. A little jail time might give him something to do. He can make some new friends, hang out with Eric, and dig up some dirt on Nick from his old cellmates. Then again, I can't see Stefano, E.J., or Kristen letting Chad go to prison. Nope, not on their watch.

Am I the only one who wants to rush to Salem to slap that document and pen out of Will's hand!? I mean, seriously, what a great Friday cliffhanger. DAYS did right by that one, but this storyline in general also makes me want to rush to Salem and slap a few people around.

But first things first! I'm going to start with the positive. Cheers to the entire group of actors involved with this storyline. Applause, applause all around! Everyone is putting their all into it, and it shows. I actually want to take John's private jet to Salem and throw Nick into a sinkhole, which is proof that Blake Berris is doing an amazing job with the material. This storyline, however, is not all that amazing. Here's why...

Generally speaking, I still have no idea why Will and Gabi can't just share custody of Baby Whoops since, you know, that's what Will and Gabi want to do. They've made that clear. I guess Nick didn't get the message. Then again, I'm sure the cell reception in someone's mom's basement where his Bigot Bros meetings are held isn't that stellar.

Secondly, every time Nick states that he wants to keep "Will and his whole family" away from Gabi and the baby, I laugh. Sorry, John Jacob Jingleheimer Nick, but your name is his name, too. You are part of Will's family. By constantly saying that, in some way, Nick is saying he should be kept away from the baby, too. Methinks for a smart guy, he should choose his words a little better.

Third, I'd rather go to jail than to hear Nick's "I've paid for my crimes, but others haven't" speech one more time. Good God, Nick. Get over it. No one cares. As Liz Lemon would say, "Shut it down."

Next, Nick keeps stating that Sami has a "selfish agenda." Does he want to be called the pot or the kettle? Mealsothinks, a guy with some homophobic tendencies wanting to keep a child away from its father just because that's merely what he wants is a tad selfish, too. Will and Gabi made their agenda clear. Nick is the one who changed it, and Sami's simply protecting her son's assets because Will sure isn't.

This list could go on, but I will say finally. So, finally, I love that Nick has the nerve to ask Sonny, "Does Will need you to speak for him?" I pretty much screamed "Does Gabi need you to!?" at my TV. By "pretty much," I mean I totally screamed that. With that, I'll simply say, "Seriously, Nick? Seriously!?"

Save me a seat, E.J., because I'm with you on the Team Sami Fan Bus! I'm kind of over everyone blaming her for poor Gabi's condition. Maybe if Yo-Gabba-Gabi wasn't busy hiding her own misdeeds, she'd have more room in her schedule for relaxing. Sure, sure, Sami is going against Will's wishes, but I'll take fired-up, sassy Sami scheming for the greater good over her former Safe Zombie self any day. Besides, everyone will look like chumps when they find out what Nick is up to and what Saint Gabi has done in the past, but that doesn't negate the fact I'm sick of hearing it now. So, run free, Sami! E.J. and I have your back!

See, Chloe! See. Watch Kristen. That is how scheming is done. For all intents and purposes, Ms. DiMera's scheme was blown out of the water. With some waterworks and a sprinkling of the truth, she managed to turn it around and get what she initially wanted. That is, a sympathetic Brady is moving into the DiMera Mansion.

On the whole, I'm glad the writers addressed Kristen's time on the island and how she was freed. Um, perhaps "freed" isn't the correct word. Stefano simply swapped indentured servitude for, well, indentured servitude. Like Brady, I believe most of Kristen's tale, but something tells me there's more to the story. There always is with that gal.

But wait! There's more. I've been having this nagging feeling Brady is playing Kristen, too. That "keep your enemies closer thingy" is a two way street, after all. He seems too onto her sinister side to be as snowed as we're led to believe he is. The win/win of it all is that if Brady is setting up Kristen for the fall she is setting him up to take, then my dear Kristen will want revenge. So, bring it, Brady. My gal can handle it.

Go, Abigail, go! I can't really fault her for attacking Chloe. If I wasn't afraid of getting skank on my hands, I probably would have choked her, too. I love that Abs was passionate and fought for her parents' honor. I just wish she would fight for her own and be proud of the entire Golden Circle thingy, but that's neither here nor there at the moment.

Sadly, Chloe did kind of act as the voice of frustrated fans who've thought Jennifer's lack of grieving for Jack was a joke. That isn't to say Chloe wasn't all shades of wrong for taking such low blows, especially to Abigail, when Chloe's real fight is with Jennifer. Even sadder, her fighting for Dr. Dan is still going on.

Ugh. These three hurt my head. I'd go into the details of why, but listing the positive will be a shorter list. Uh, a shorter, but harder to come up with list, that is. Okay. I got one! I'm glad Dr. Duh is taking a firmer stance with the Chlomiester. There's, um, that. Otherwise, this storyline needs some help. I think -- think -- that help will be in the form of a ball-busting hell-raiser named Nancy. Well, here's to hoping her upcoming return doesn't fall into the pit of mediocrity with the rest of this storyline. Fingers crossing in five, four, three, two...

Eric impressed me last week! He was like the Druggie Whisperer. I like this tough, yet still soft side of him. I can see why Nicole digs him, too. You know, besides all the outward yumminess. Was that a sin to say? I can't tell. Anyway...

This stings because I love my Nicole, but girlfriend should never begrudge someone a second chance, since she's working on her umpteenth. Sure, sure, she was scared. I get that. But she needs to turn down the dial a notch. Just saying.

What was not said is that Nicole has the hots for Father Eric. But that's totally okay. The writers are proceeding with caution. That's a good pace for this storyline, especially since Eric's mindset isn't, "Oh, she's in love with me." As a priest, especially a young one with a lot to prove, I'm sure he's not even thinking about that, and doesn't expect her to want to jump his holy bones. So, in this case, Eric is actually pulling off clueless without being a tool.

Yes, please! I like the idea of Eric starting a prison ministry program. I like that Abe and Hope are already involved. I loved that the term "you were on the inside" applies to Hope. Okay, I love to laugh about that, but I digress. This storyline could work, especially if Eric gets to reach out to some of Salem's incarcerated rogue gallery of criminals like Patrick Lockhart and Dr. "Dick" Baker, to name a few. This could turn into an entire Intervention meets Beyond Scared Straight with a dash of Father Dowling Mysteries and Criminal Minds scenario. I repeat, "Yes, please!"

I only have one concern. That is, would it be smart for Eric to enter Statesville Prison given he's the son, nephew, and former brother-in-law of several of Salem's finest? Between Roman, Bo, Hope, and Rafe they've probably arrested more than a few of the inmates there. Wait. Nevermind. I just remembered the Salem popo's track record. Eric should be fine.

Hmm, Nick's former prison bestie is set to be released soon. I'm sure Nick is super excited! Judging from the flashbacks, it looked like his prison pal always rushed up behind him to give him a big hug. Aw! I'm sure Nick will throw him a party, since Mr. Inmate has paid for his crimes. Nick's big on that, y'all. I'm also sure Eric will cross paths with him. Nevertheless, Mr. Inmate's being sprung on the über spooky Ides of March! You know, the date we've been all warned about. I repeat, "Hmm!"

Holy flying Fancy Face, Batman! I think Hope is inching her way out of the Two Scoops doghouse. She actually thwarted Nick's attempt to bash Sami. Hope gave a fair and level-headed reason to explain Sami's actions, to boot. It's like Hope's last name is Brady, or something, and she was sticking up for a loved one. Two thumbs-up, detective!

OMG! Rafe and Kate are like a train wreck I can't look away from. I don't love the idea, but I don't completely hate it, either. Although it will be more fun when the cat's out of the bag and folks like E.J. and Nicole can really rib Rafe.

Take that, Kate! You're not the only one who can attract a younger hottie. Stefano dined with a lovely lady in Rome. Will she be joining him in Salem? A young hellcat with an affection for older limoncello-drinking mobsters could spice things up around the old mansion.

Yes, please! I'd love to see another Kate and Marlena scene. Their friendship is a fun one. And those two catching up over a cup of joe would be, as Marlena might say, "Fabulous!"

I also enjoyed Marlena's scenes with Abe. They have such a longstanding friendship, and I'm glad that was remembered last week. In fact, I'm glad Abe has been remembered lately. He's been on for two weeks in a row. It hasn't been since Lexie's death that we've seen him this much. Is the next step for Monsieur Abraham his very own storyline?

Wait for it...wait for it! It's been nearly a month, and Sami and E.J. are still going strong! And I'm still swooning. As Laurisa would say, "Woot! Woot!"

And, finally, Baby Girl Horton has a name! Gabi picked "Arianna Grace." Pretty and poignant, but I'm a little surprised it wasn't Raffaela Rafina St. Rafael Hernandez Horton. Maybe that will be the name of her next tot. At any rate, I'm glad Nick didn't get to name the tiny mistake. He probably would have come up with Nicholasette Anita Bryant Schlessinger Falwell Fallon.

Extra Scoops

Why, hello there, Sonny being all shades of awesome last week! Not only was he completely charming as he and Will reunited, I also enjoyed Sonny's chutzpah coming out to say hi there and hello as he stood up for Will. It was very Kiriakis of him. This bolder, stand-by-your-man Sonny K. sticking around? Yes, yes, and yes!

With the exception of one former DAYS dimwit, I don't think I've epically hated characters as much as I hate Nick and Chloe right now. He's a delusional douche bag. She's a delusional ditz in hooker heels. Have they met? Maybe they could elope atop a volcano and then, I dunno, just fall in or something. Think about it. Chloe is so dumb that Nick could probably convince her he's really Dr. Dan in disguise. And Nick probably wouldn't care that she's in love with someone else as long as he gets to raise someone else's baby and have a pretty little obedient wife. Besides, Chloe and Gabi share similar traits. They both have nice hair, are more interesting when unconscious, and have the IQs of stale jellybeans. Oops, did I go too far? My bad.

Marlena (to Kate, regarding Kristen): "Wow. That sounds vindictive. I like that."

Abigail: "Just a hint, Chloe, this look doesn't work outside of a trailer park."
Chloe: "Are you done?"
Abigail: "Almost. You're trash. Now I'm done."

I'm convinced Marlena is always prepared to commit a crime. Why else does she wear gloves all the time, even indoors?

Mar Mar looked perfect in her purple turtleneck and matching scarf last week!

Kristen could have saved time explaining how sick Stefano is by simply asking Brady if he knows anything about Mama Hernandez and then stating, "Like that."

Speaking of Mama Hernandez, I'm glad she had the strength to light a candle and pray.

Oh boy! Eric went to Saint Mary's Hospital. That place is a little shady.

Ari Zucker even looks radiant in a conservative black dress.

Eric, I like your jacket!

Hey, hey, Father Matt! What up, dawg? Where you been? Watchu been up to?

Sami must have taken Two Scoops advice and finally recorded What Not To Wear because her office outfit last week was a vast improvement. You go, working girl!

I loved, loved, loved that Stefano worked a variation of "Days of our Lives" into his toast!

Part of me thinks Eric, Nicole, and Kevin McDruggie hanging out would be a great indie flick. Road Trip to Recovery, or something like that, could be the title.

I want there to be a Maxine cell phone app for when I'm watching DAYS and need someone else making sassy comments at the screen. I get lonely making them alone.

Dr. Dad and Parker were a total cute overload last week.

Why I love Kristen Example 5,644: Ms. Thang isn't afraid to tell the Stefano DiMera, "You're so annoying."

If you've been wondering what the heck happened to our beloved Jennifer Rose, you're not alone. Laurisa took to her blog to discuss the recent downfall of Salem's sweetheart. Click here to read Laurisa's brilliant theory, and then be sure to add your own thoughts in the comment section!

So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of March 4! It looks like this month is coming in like a lion, but I have my doubts it will go out like a lamb, especially with all the wild fights and flings fluttering around Salem these days. Laurisa will be back next week with her lion-taming whip in an attempt to wrangle in all the action, and "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading!

Need more Two Scoops? Head over to read blogs by Laurisa or Tony for more ranting, raving and all out randomness

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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