What's your name? Who's your mommy?

For the Week of May 23, 2011
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GH Two Scoops: What's your name? Who's your mommy?
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When I heard that GH was bringing Vanessa Marcil back, I was delighted. I loved the Sonny/Brenda/Jax triangle, loved the history of the characters, loved Brenda's adversarial but loving relationship with Jason, loved the way Brenda softens Robin into a likeable character -- I had high hopes.

When I heard that GH was bringing Vanessa Marcil back, I was delighted. I loved the Sonny/Brenda/Jax triangle, loved the history of the characters, loved Brenda's adversarial but loving relationship with Jason, loved the way Brenda softens Robin into a likeable character -- I had high hopes.

They've been dashed, of course. Brenda has been written so shrill and annoying, I kind of cringe whenever she walks into a room. Hearing her bellow at everyone on earth about Lucian/Alec/Carly/Sonny did not endear her to me.

Sadly, I think that's by design. Or, at least it was -- the writing stylings of Bob Guza intended to (or so I've heard) send Brenda and Jax off into the night together to raise her son in a mob-free zone. You know, Alec, the son she doesn't feel connected to after she spent two weeks bonding with Lucian, who wasn't her son, even after Sonny begged her to get a DNA test from day one and cautioned Brenda against trusting Suzanne.

But now? Ingo's been officially fired, and a new writer is in place. I wonder what he has in store for us and our beloved characters? Does he know GH? Will he value its rich history? Has he been sent to drive the final nails in GH's coffin so it can follow AMC and OLTL into the great soap graveyard in the sky, or was he sent here to redeem the show and take things in a new direction?

Only time will tell, and I'm holding on to hope that this new era in GH history will be phenomenal. I'm an optimist.

In the interim, while Brenda shrieked at Spinelli, insisting that he make explanations for Sonny, who barely utters a word to him, I actually put my fingers in my ears. This is no disrespect to her acting ability; Vanessa Marcil is a talented and beautiful lady, who is acting out the scenes she was handed. I just hope she gets handed some less annoying material pronto. Of course Sonny couldn't take her into a serious rescue mission; she can't shut up and won't follow orders. I wish Sonny would say that to her just one time.

I am discouraged that GH made me wait twelve years for Sonny and Brenda to finally get married and then almost immediately created intense conflict in their new union. Couldn't they give us a couple months to bask in a happy ending? The world is so short on happy endings; we embrace one when we get it. Sadly, I get the feeling that the long-awaited romantic reunion of Sonny and Brenda isn't going to materialize into the romance we anticipated.

On the other hand, I am thrilled beyond belief that Robin and Patrick are back on track and that crazy Lisa is about to get her comeuppance. When Robin popped up from the floor and grabbed Lisa when Lisa thought she was out like a light, it was unexpected. It was like one of those moments in a Friday the 13th movie where everyone screams because someone you thought was dead isn't really dead at all. But, can Robin, 80 pounds dripping wet, take on crazed Lisa? Let's hope Patrick is on the way.

Lisa has to go down; she can't be saved at this point can she? Drugging Kristina made her irredeemable in my mind. I don't think the writers can write their way out of that and backpedal into us accepting Lisa as anything but a maniac. She's almost approaching "Heather-Webber-Crazy" for you long-time viewers such as myself.

I think the funniest moment of the week was when Kristina dropped one of her "herbal supplements" and half of Port Charles knew it was hydrocodone by sight. Lucky was so overwhelmed by the sight of the pill, he poured a perfectly good pot of coffee on top of it to keep himself from taking it.

Hey Lucky! Toss it over here! I'd gladly let Lisa supply me with those. I used to have a doctor who gave out Vicodin prescriptions for any painful ailment, but then he moved away and I had to go back to taking handfuls of Advil for pain.

It's hilarious that Kristina can't tell a vitamin from a pill. It's like in the Birdcage, where Nathan Lane thought he had meds call "Prin" because Robin Williams scraped the "as" off the aspirin.

Maybe when Lisa goes to Shadybrook, we can rekindle some sweet Jolivia (Johnny and Olivia) love. I miss that couple -- they were the perfect blend of romance and tension. Steven and Olivia just haven't captured my heart yet -- I'm not rooting for them, I don't care if they ever see each other again. I'd rather see Olivia go back to Johnny. Am I alone in this, dear readers? If you've all jumped on the Steve/Olivia bandwagon, I'd love to know! Shall we wager on how long Lisa stays in Shadybrook this time? One day? Three days? 30 days?

I'm also very disappointed that the rumors of Ingo Rademacher's firing have been confirmed. Much like Brenda, the writers have been writing Jax less and less sympathetically, and it makes me wonder if the aim is to make us hate him so when he inevitably leaves, we all sigh "good riddance."

However, I have a longer memory than the writers give me credit for having. I remember when Jax was a romantic hero who swept women off on grand adventures and rescued damsels in distress as a daily occurrence. I remember when he was lighthearted and fun, when he laughed a lot and was effortlessly charming. Seeing him bicker with Carly about custody daily is tiresome.

Do the Powers that Be really think we want Jax replaced with newcomer and total stranger Shawn as Carly's love interest? I, for one, do not.

Question: Where the heck is Morgan? ABC really blew it when they replaced Aaron Refvem. They should have worked around his schedule for the other show and kept him on. Morgan was a much-needed character on the show -- a child who was still relatively innocent, a strong connection between Jax and Carly, and an adorable little brother bond with Dante. Since NuMorgan arrived, he's grown taller than Michael, doesn't really have chemistry with anyone, and now the character has mostly vanished. Geez, ABC, just swallow your pride and hire Aaron back.

Luke's intervention didn't take. They tried to make him go to rehab and he said, "No, no, no." And the people who attended the intervention and swore they'd never talk to Luke again until he stopped drinking have all been chatting him up. Ethan even had drinks with him! Rehab Fail! I really wouldn't be surprised if they backpedal that entire storyline and say Lisa was the hit-and-run driver. She got a little too defensive about being accused of being the hit-and-run driver when explaining it to Johnny.

Readers, how is it that Maxie can actually keep a secret and hasn't blabbed to Lucky yet about Aiden being his son? Siobhan knows, too, and didn't confront Elizabeth about it, or Lucky either. I think Helena's going to have to crawl out of the caves at Wyndemere herself and fill Lucky in on the truth.

That's so unrealistic. If the man I loved was about to marry someone else and I got word that he was my baby daddy, I would paste the DNA test on my chest and march right into his wedding and announce it. I guess that makes me kind of psycho, but I wouldn't sit on that info for weeks while Lucky grieves over his other son.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Suzanne Stanwick be rooming at Shadybrook with Lisa Niles, or will Suzanne be fitted with an orange jumpsuit for Lady Pentonville? Will Sam get some more elective surgery for things she later decides she isn't sure if she wants? Will Dante practice shooting at other people's heads to prove to Sonny he could have made the shot? Will Brenda's son, Alec, call Carly "Mommy" and make Brenda's head explode?

[Editor's note: If the title of this column sounds familiar -- it's not just because of a tweak to the musical reference. Way back in December 2004, Tamilu posted a column called "What's your name? Who's your daddy?" If you'd like to see how the storylines back then compared to what's going on in Port Charles now, click here.]

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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